our struggle with infertility
Journalling says:
Oct. 2006 ~ I will never feel a baby growing inside of me; I will never have that ‘baby tummy’ or be able to blame my forgetfulness on ‘baby brain’. I sometimes wonder if it would have been better not to know who the ‘broken’ one was. I feel inadequate as a wife, and as a woman. I can not give my husband the baby he has dreamed of, one that we have dreamed of creating together. We were both devastated when we heard the news, we tried to be strong. I had a feeling I knew what the doctor was going to say before we went to our appointment. ‘Inoperable’ I had no idea it would be that bad. Everyone was encouraging me, telling me the doctors have to be able to correct it. Well they were all wrong! What do they know anyway? How many people do we come into contact with everyday that has fertility issues!?? Why is the subject so taboo? How come no one wants to talk about it? Why does everyone shut off when you tell them? We decided that instead of having to deal with the BIG question… “So when are going to start a family” we would just tell our friends and family that we are NEVER going to have a baby, so stop asking us! We decided to be upfront.
Holidays are the worst, this thanksgiving was great, no one asked and only one comment about babies was made in our company. Church is hard, too many people that think they know us - have no idea what is going on in our personal lives. Too many little babies, I am starting to hate going because and I canÂ’t handle seeing their tiny little hands and feet! It hurts too much!
Now we have Hank, we totally LOVE Hank, he fills some of the void, he is so excited to see us, and loves us unconditionally. He is cute and everyone that meets him loves him too! We are blessed to have found such a cute happy puppy. And he is cheaper than a baby! I have decided that I like picking up dog poop more than cleaning dirty diapers! Much less messy! I suppose we are destined to become crazy dog people!
here is a link to the challenge... Forums at Splitcoaststampers
also the pics are of my DH and puppy. i found the ultrasound pic online,....a picture says a thousand words and this one says it all!
Date: Saturday, October 14, 2006 GMT Views: 1343
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