Splitcoaststampers

Splitcoaststampers (https://www.splitcoaststampers.com/forums/)
-   General Stamping Talk (https://www.splitcoaststampers.com/forums/general-stamping-talk-17/)
-   -   OT: When Does Your Husband Put His Foot Down? (https://www.splitcoaststampers.com/forums/general-stamping-talk-17/ot-when-does-your-husband-put-his-foot-down-485382/)

CraftMomm 03-30-2010 09:07 PM

My dh never asks how much I spend on my supplies. he knows I love it and it makes me happy and that is all that counts to him. I can leave him sitting in the jeep to go in Michael's granted I usually only spend about 10 minutes in there because I hate to make anyone wait for me and I know what I'm after when I go in, but I could come out with 20 bags and he would not bat an eye or ask me how much I spent LOL, but I never come out with more than on bag. I was so good yesterday on a road trip that I only spent about $65 on supplies between Michael's and Walmart my biggest items were two border stamps by Martha, I just could not resist them anymore I needed to try one!

vanoro11 03-31-2010 05:12 AM

I too am a hoarder. My DH nevers questions my spending..we relocated from Arizona to Kentucky; we left all our family there..he knows that crafting keeps my mind busy since I miss my family soooo very much. I put the guilt on myself for I too have way toooooo much stuff. My DH always says "if momma ain't happy...nobody's happy".

peggysue 03-31-2010 05:28 AM

Interesting discussion!

The way our household runs is my DH earns the majority of the money and my income is supplemental, but fortunately enough to pay the property taxes, auto insurance, homeowners . . . those large bills that come semi-annually. Because my earnings are sporadic we'd be hard pressed if we needed it for groceries! :)

But I handle the finances, pay the bills, etc. I'm the one, when we get a tax return, who calculates how much we need for our debt versus how much 'fun' money we each can spend. We will have three kids in college in the Fall, so budgeting is a must! But even there, the wonderful thing is that those three are my kids from a previous marriage and DH never says a word or gets tight about the money, and believe me, we don't bring in a ton.

I'll go shopping for a prom dress with the girls and we'll come home and show it off and he'll just say how beautiful they look. He will ask later how much it cost, but he knows I do my best to be wise with our finances so he can trust me. Same goes for craft purchases. I'm the one who says no to myself if we need to be careful.

michelle328 03-31-2010 07:04 AM

I made my "work desk" on the cheap. Got a couple cabinets from a local place that sells used building supplies, and a piece of counter top. The whole thing cost only about $50 Because the cabinets were orignally kitchen ones, they're at a nice height for standing and when I want to sit, I use a drafting stool I got from the thrift store for $8. One cabinet is just drawers and the other is one drawer and a cupboard. I just love it.

It wasn't even DH who insisted on the "cheap"...it was me. I love to save a buck where I can and then spend it on stamps or other goodies.

Guess I'm really lucky...DH not only doesn't complain about my obsession, he actually enables me! He'll come with me to the craft stores and brings me stuff he finds that he thinks I'll be interested in. Shoot, as soon as he renovates the garage (yep, how cool is that?) for a new craft room, I suspect he'll be out there getting inky fingers with me!

sewnmachine 03-31-2010 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pooga (Post 16406580)
ok...had to share my story. I am a stay-at-home mom. My husband has no hobby, is a minimalist, and wants to retire early (re: save, save, save - we are in our 40's with two very young kidlets). Oh, and not only does he not 'get' buying birthday cards, it is beyond him why anyone would 'make' one (well, except when our kids make them). He's a relatively good sport about it all tho'...even when I need his help with layouts. ;)

Pooga, Ok, so I think your husbands philosophy is "less is more". So do you try to keep your supplies to a minimum also, or do you sort of sneak them into the house - or are you able to create the way you want to without the mountains of "stuff" the rest of have (but don't use)? I've always had a suspicion that if I didn't have all of this crap I would use what I have ..... and still be please with the result. But heaven forbid - I just spent another $150 online last night.

Tell us how a papercrafter co-exists with a minimalist. :grin:

MikiBee 03-31-2010 09:13 AM

My husband would never think to do that. Even though he makes all the money, I am a SAHM of 3 very busy, very messy and very hungry kids. Just because I don't earn money, doesn't mean I'm not worth anything. Stamping is my only hobby.. the only thing that is truly mine. He has never once even asked me how much something cost. He sees all my stuff upstairs, and he has even helped me set up my room with Freecycle/Craigslist. He often brings me things home from work that he thinks I might be able to use in my craft. He's very supportive.

I had a period when I started feeling selfish having so many stamping supplies and was going to quit my stamp club, but he talked me out of quitting because he knows how much I love it. Don't get me wrong.. all the household bills get paid before I even think about buying something. The kids' needs always come first as well.

I take care of the finances in the house. I pay all the bills, do the taxes, all the shopping... etc. My husband doesn't ever ask about money-- he's just happy all that stuff is taken care of, and as long as it is, I can't imagine he'd ever ask.

My husband has his own hobbies as well.. he's just absolutely addicted to poker-- and I would never think to ask him to quit. We're both adults and stopped having to ask permission for things when we moved out of our parents' houses.

I have some friends whose husbands make them ask for permission to do this and do that, and even tell them they can or can't do something they want to do. I feel so sorry for them, because their spirits seem so broken. That is more of a parent/child relationship, and I can only think that would make a marriage suffer.

Momofoneson 03-31-2010 10:10 AM

Mine doesn't. I make all the money in the household. My hubby is unemployed.

stampkinz 03-31-2010 02:16 PM

I love all of these stories. Sounds like we have great men in our lives!

Momofoneson 04-03-2010 04:36 AM

I should add that I don't tell hubby or Matthew no when it comes to stuff they love. Hubby just spent 100.00 on a computer game and Matthew is collecting Greenday cds even though we have the music downloaded. Since I'm the one employed, I am paying for his Nutrisystem food, his medical bills, et al.

LateBlossom 04-03-2010 04:48 AM

Oh, what a great thread! How did I miss it?

I'm the Minister of Finance in the Raihala Republic. DH earns it; I decide where it goes.

He has very expensive hobbies (Ironman triathlon, photography, cooking), so I could spend way more than I do and never equal his spending. I pretty much get what I want, but then, I'm responsible with our money and keep myself on a tighter leash than perhaps I need.

We do tend to discuss purchases over $50, which resulted in the email conversation I posted on my blog HERE. I'm sure lots of you can relate!

dmariehill 04-03-2010 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LateBlossom (Post 16434431)
Oh, what a great thread! How did I miss it?

I'm the Minister of Finance in the Raihala Republic. DH earns it; I decide where it goes.

He has very expensive hobbies (Ironman triathlon, photography, cooking), so I could spend way more than I do and never equal his spending. I pretty much get what I want, but then, I'm responsible with our money and keep myself on a tighter leash than perhaps I need.

We do tend to discuss purchases over $50, which resulted in the email conversation I posted on my blog HERE. I'm sure lots of you can relate!

Loved the conversation on your blog! Too funny.

lesliespringer 04-03-2010 01:20 PM

My hubby just bought a tool chest, presher washer and a lawnmower all with in the past month.

Hello, I need to put the foot down!!!

My craft spending in the past month

$18 for paper and emblishments
$30 for a new paper cutter

Both purchases with coupons!!!

kphorse 04-03-2010 05:51 PM

Well...Hubby is a guy here too...I got a new Quad, new riding mower and rifle and he never asks how much my craft spending is - so - I feel very grateful!

I am re-doing my craft room and I choose to do it on a very tight budget, I'd rather spend the money on goodies than wallpaper...

fiddlerontheroof 04-03-2010 07:47 PM

The husband and I are still feeling our way around when it comes to joint finances. We both lived on our own for so long before we met and got married that we're both in the "it's my money" mindset. But, now we have a baby and finances are tighter due to childcare. We will have our first joint tax return this year as well.

So, before the baby, I would spend what I want out of my income. I'd pay the bills, of course, but the rest was mine to do as I pleased. Now, I am contributing a much larger amount of my monthly income to our joint account for expenses and I will have to reign myself in.

My husband doesn't ask how much my stuff costs, nor do I volunteer the information. And yes, I have stuff delivered to work instead of home so he doesn't know that I am buying more stuff, yet again. But, none of it goes on the credit card and I do try to buy during sales and with coupons.

He is much more frugal than I am, but he's taught me good things like paying off credit cards every month. I no longer have any credit card debt! He doesn't have any hobbies that he spends money on. The only thing he really splurges on is his baseball season tickets. He asked me this year if it was "okay" that he got them and I said yes. He deserves to do something to treat himself and I wish he would do it more often.

I'm just trying to weasel some fun money from our tax return out of him. I don't think he's on board yet :(

SophieLaFontaine 04-03-2010 08:29 PM

I'm the one who puts my foot down. I hate debt with a passion. We don't have any except for a mortgage which will be paid off in two years. I limit my own spending but also limit his. He wouldn't care. Debt does not bother him. I don't understand his alien way of thinking. He tried to explain once and it was incomprehensible.

Chautona 04-04-2010 02:19 AM

Well... Kevin's foot goes down and up and down... as he rides his very expensive bicycle around the "loop" for "fun". Why a man would think it's "fun" to ride as fast as he humanly can (usually over 20 mph) for hours at a time, in DESERT heat... is beyond me.

However, if I'm hesitating over something, he usually says, "Just get it. My hobby was 1900 dollars... and I've replaced it twice!"

I don't think he has any idea how much sewing machines, sergers, Big Shots, dies, stamps, paper,... STUFF costs. Sure, compare his 1900 to my 100... single purchase... he's got me in spades. But um... well, he doesn't buy a bike every year even.

I say, ignorance is bliss... and even if it wasn't, Kevin is the one who taught me, "Money is for spending. That's the purpose. You either spend it now or save/invest it to spend later. Otherwise, you're just hoarding it and that's a waste."

I like him. He's a keeper.

Chautona 04-04-2010 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SophieLaFontaine (Post 16438080)
I'm the one who puts my foot down. I hate debt with a passion. We don't have any except for a mortgage which will be paid off in two years. I limit my own spending but also limit his. He wouldn't care. Debt does not bother him. I don't understand his alien way of thinking. He tried to explain once and it was incomprehensible.


I do understand if you're talking about DEBT. I can't stand debt. I can't imagine paying interest on my stamps and ink pads. If it meant debt to pay for any of my hobbies, I'd give them up.

RIRed2 04-04-2010 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chautona (Post 16438414)
I do understand if you're talking about DEBT. I can't stand debt. I can't imagine paying interest on my stamps and ink pads. If it meant debt to pay for any of my hobbies, I'd give them up.

I am with you on that!! Cash and carry or charge and pay the bill when it comes in. I may have to eat peanut butter sandwiches but I have NO debt..:)

debbies 04-04-2010 02:58 AM

This is a great thread. I have my own checking account and all stamp/supply purchases are made from that. He does, however, come into my stamp room from time to time and looks around enough to say "you have too much stuff". LOL That's about it really, so I'm pretty lucky.

Momofoneson 04-04-2010 03:13 AM

I also feel that it is cash and carry. If I don't have the money in the checking account then I don't buy. I never go to AC Moore or any of the other stores and we have a hobby lobby. I do order CTMH to keep myself active for now. If I don't see three hundred dollars worth of stuff in the catalog I need, I'll drop to Jr consultant without batting an eye lash. I gave away a ton of old stuff to Good Will and only buy stuff when I know I will use it.

Sophia_77 04-05-2010 12:35 AM

My husband is fabulous, too!

I'm in charge of the finances, and we both agree on a strict budget. We each have spending money ($60/monthly), and I'm like the rest of you - I spend all mine, and he saves all of his. :) Well, not really ... He usually does these incredibly selfless things with his (like buying something really nice for someone who can't afford it).

Anyway, I'm getting off-topic here. What I wanted to say is that we got an incredible tax return this year (at least for us). I've been wanting a laptop for awhile now, but we don't have several hundred dollars just lying around ... Well, as soon as he found out how much we were getting back, he told me the very first thing we were going to get was a laptop just for me!! And he did, too. It was the very first thing we got, and I'm typing on it right now.

You don't find many men like my husband. :)

Julie in Indy 04-05-2010 02:46 AM

I work and earn right along side my hubby and I consider that myself an equal partner...so he really can't put his foot down. Of course I still discuss major purchases with him (and vice versa) and thankfully we're evenly matched and rarely disagree...

He has asked questions about what I've purchased and sometimes raises an eyebrow, but that's the extent of it.

When I asked him about building my craft room, he helped me draw up plans and did much of the work!

scrappintlc 04-05-2010 06:19 PM

Hubby wouldn't dare put his foot down. I didn't marry my Dad. We are partners. I am a stay at home mom and that entails a lot regardless if I actually earn a paycheck.

Chautona 04-05-2010 07:02 PM

Awwwww come on, it's just a figure of speech that people use when they mean, "Fed up."

I've heard the same thing said for a wife "putting her foot down."

Just a figure of speech... I doubt the OP was trying to portray her husband as an unreasonable tyrant.

havonfamily 04-07-2010 05:41 PM

LOL, No, my husband is not an unmanageable tyrant! :) I was just curious to know if your husbands care or not care if you spend your extra money on your scrap stuff. My husband's cautious and careful. I can understand, because when I first got into scrapbooking, I spent allot of money "to get all my chickens in a row" so I could really create. So I used to spend allot more then I do now. I kept a record of the amount that I spent on scrap stuff, last year, just out of curiosity. I figured out that I spent over $1500!!!! GULP!! And I was being Conservative with my money and hording, not spending it!!! Where did it all go?!?!? I was sick with the thought (still haven't told him how much ;). So anyway, he and I are trying to be much more careful with our money now. I don't mind that he said no, I can deal with it, even if I still do want a new counter top and cabs :)

shellpole 04-08-2010 01:20 PM

Chortle chortle.....lucky I wasn't drinking anything when I read this....


Michelle

Quote:

Originally Posted by jactop (Post 16396763)
I think DH would need therapy if he knew how much money I spend on stamping supplies so keeping him in the dark is like an act of charity.


shellpole 04-08-2010 02:10 PM

Well. I have just thoroughly enjoyed an hour reading all these great responses!!!

Such a varied lot, aren't we?

I am married to a farmer and have not worked "outside" the home for the last ten years. This does not mean I do not work! My children are now grown and we have been empty nesters for the last year.

Since the children have now flown the coop, I have been on a mission to revamp the old abode. As I type my new kitchen is being installed (after 7 loongggg weeks of no kitchen, this is a good thing!). I have painted walls, got new flooring...no carpet graces my house anymore.....thank goodness....and while the good hubster was reeling from all this, I ducked the concept (before mooted...but hobbled) under his radar about moving my existing creating space to my daughter's old room.....much airier, better shape...just plain "nicer"!!! Purple walls!

Now, the ONLY reason why it was put forth on his radar was coz he would have to do all the heavy lifting ...oh and if he was really and truly dead against it (still)....I wasn't going to move....not one to create world war three over a room! I am pretty sure he saw that I was going to continue to mention the fact that the daughter's room would be lovely...until I got the daughter's room!!!!

I am like many others...have stuff crammed in cupboards...and when it all comes out of those cupboards.....my oh my....there is a LOT OF STUFF! For once, he said nothing....Usually the comment is...

"Surely you don't need any more stamps?"....derrrrr man....derrrr!

Maybe he was slightly gob smacked???

Anyway, I live in the sticks....I have to have something to keep me sane....Stamping is it!!!! He can blame himself. When I resigned from teaching many many years ago (daughter is now 22 and I resigned to have her) and drove him half barmy with boredom....he told me he was not my entertainment officer...go find myself something to do.....I DID....I HAVE.

Some years I cannot buy stuff coz the crops are really poor...others I can. I know when I can...or can't and I buy what I want. I do not smoke, we rarely go out for dinner or entertainment, we have free TV only...but no mortgage, own the farm and cars, no cc debt....I am a lucky little vegemite!

Putting his foot down....mmmm.....nooooooo....after 25 years that would be pretty pointless. He knows I might rein in for a while...but I would soon go back to getting what I want.....My daughter in law will inherit! My son already sees what is going to happen in that direction...but he has grown up with mum, so the groundwork is laid for her...lucky girl!

Cheers,
Michelle

Michelle

sprtchick 04-08-2010 02:18 PM

havonfamily...ONLY $1500? I will know shortly what I have spent but I would guess over $10,000. I am so bad...always buying the newest stuff and lots of it. I really dont want for much...lol...oh there is one thing...a bigger stamp room. I have a full room and I am working on filling up another room. Hubby suggested we have a contractor come and give us a price on extending my stamp room over our 2 car garage...he is sooooo sweet. Would not give him up for anything...I would actually """cringing...." give up all the stamp stuff for that wonderful man...but he would never ask.
blessings.


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 05:52 PM.