Sorry for the long journalling. This is for the DigiDare-- not quite a perfect moment-- but something I felt I needed to do.
__ also for the scrapbook challenge on SCS
Paper by me, fonts are fg amelia and Book Antiqua
During my womenís group today, I came to a place of sadness, understanding, and conviction. The speaker said something about how as a mother, I am the example of Jesus in your life. I get so caught up in other things that I donít take time to realize the importance of ministering to you as my children. All of these questions have flooded my mind.
Is my mothering an example of Christ? Does my parenting show the traits of Godís love? When I am irritable and I yell too much, am I showing you the example of Christ? Is my discipline motivated by a desire to teach you and help you come to a place of growth and understanding? Or is it motivated by anger and selfishness? Do I discipline consistently and patiently?
Iím sorry to both of you for yelling too much. I know this is my weakness as a mother. I know it isnít what you deserve. I know it makes you sad and scared and Iím so sorry Iíve put you in that position. It isnít easy for me to tell you girls that. But I know you deserve better. And I know it doesnít reflect the love that God has for us as His children. I donít always glorify God in my parenting. And I want you to know that you donít deserve to have your mom yell at you for little things. I am sorry. And I donít want to excuse or dismiss that.
I want you to know that Iím not a perfect mom and I make mistakes and Iím sorry for that. I want to reflect Godís love for you in my actions. And when I donít, it breaks my heart. It isnít that I donít love you. And I hope you can see past the anger, past the yelling, past my imperfections, and know that I love you. Perhaps the greatest lesson I can impart to you is that we are never outside of the grace of God. God is big enough to handle all of our imperfections. Godís grace doesnít mean it is okay for me to yell. It just means that when I screw up, God forgives. And God will forgive you as well. I donít know what you will struggle with as an adult, but I know God will be there for you, like He is there for me. I love you both.
Date: Friday, October 6, 2006 GMT Views: 640
Wow! That is brave. I tend to lose patience and yell. I'll think about this page the next time I do that.
Registered: June 22, 2004 Location: Sarasota, FL Posts: 2908
Fri, Oct 06, 2006 @ 1:11 PM
Goodness, Kimberly! Just pass the conviction around on a silver tray, why don't ya? ;) You know, the good news is that I've heard that children remember the times you were humble with them more than the times you've yelled at them. At least, I'm banking on that. ;) Thanks for sharing.
------------------------------ Nicole "I am a girl of many moods...all of which require chocolate."