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Don't know if this is where this should be, but I need help. My best friends daughter is getting married and she wants me to make a "scroll" to be given to everyone attending the wedding, instead of a gift. On it she wants to say that instead of a gift they are donating to a charity. Any ideas. Please please I need help.
Oh BTW the wedding is on the 3rd of Oct.
Thank you all so much
With respect, the wedding couple might want to rethink the idea of giving out such a scroll at their wedding. It almost sounds like a proclamation bragging about the fact that they are giving to charity, and want everyone to know it.
Most of the wedding ettiquette I've read says it is tricky in the first place to tell guests they are not to give wedding gifts, even on the wedding invitation. So giving out a scroll at the wedding and announcing what they are doing doesn't sound like such a great idea to me. I know that doesn't help you very much, as you were not asked if it was proper, just to make a scroll, lol. Here is what I found:
"Most experts on wedding etiquette agree that a wedding invitation should not mention gifts at all -- even if the intent is an unselfish one. In issuing the invitation, a polite bride should be thinking of nothing except her joy in the upcoming nuptials and her wish to share her happiness with guests. Gifts, in theory, are unrelated, even if most guests will offer them. In spite of arbiters' opinions, however, some argue that a couple can convey a no-gift request if they tread carefully.
Invitation
A proper wedding invitation should never contain a gift registry list. Similarly, it could be said that an invitation specifically requesting no gifts -- however well intentioned -- implies that a gift is the usual admission price for attending a wedding. Guests who like to bring presents as a way of adding to the celebration might feel slighted as well. To lessen these effects, that same request might be reworded to replace the prohibitive feel of "no gifts," with a positive slant emphasizing the sentiment of the occasion and the couple's appreciation for the guest. A common phrasing: "Your presence on our big day is the only gift we need."
Word of Mouth
Instead of including awkward phrasing on the invitation, the couple could ask immediate family and close friends to spread the word discreetly. Whenever a guest asks the mother of the bride what the couple might like as a gift, she could cheerfully respond that the bride and groom don't need a thing. In fact, they will have two of everything once they combine their two households into one. They require only friends, family and good wishes for their day to be complete.
Charity
Bride and groom could select and even register with a favorite charity to which guests could offer donations in lieu of presents. Wording as such on an invitation might prove awkward, however, so close family and friends could spread word of the charity suggestion to anyone who asks for gift ideas.
I think in my panic state, that I did not make myself clear. I am looking to make a wedding favor instead of a store bought one.
But hey, I will keep all this info for the next two wedding that are being planned after this one.
I have been to wedding receptions where there is a small, discreet sign on each table stating that "in lieu of favors we have made a donation to (list the charity) in our guests' honor. Thank you for sharing our special day with us". For me personally, I thought that was great. I don't expect to get a "gift" for attending a wedding.
The idea of scrolls seems tacky and honestly, a waste of your valuable time and talents as you know, most people won't save them. They'll just get left on the table or pitched. There goes all your hard work.
I don't know if you can be comfortable suggesting this to the bride or not. Tough position to be in!
If it's easier to just do the darn things (which is probably what I would do), I think I'd print the info off on my computer (just copy/paste the wording wherever you want it on each page), then cut each "section", glue a toothpick on each end of the scroll, roll them up and tie with a small ribbon. You can dye toothpicks with food coloring to match the bride's colors. Once you get the right color mixed up in a shallow container, put on your rubber gloves, evenly color the toothpicks by just "swishing them around" and then lay them on wax paper to dry.
Loretia,
Thank you so much for your idea. As you said it's just easier to make the things, but I will definetially bring up the discreet sign idea. Any suggestions on what to do? I just can't seem to get out of this one.
Thanks again
Go to cricut.com and click on the videos or cricut classroom (I can't remember exactly waht it's called) and there's a video of making table signs for weddings. It's under the Imagine Basics class. Of course, if you don't have the cricut, you can still make ovals, circles or other shapes.
Call me tacky. I don't find a small scroll to be tacky at all if that is what the couple wants to do. Giving a donation is a wonderful idea. I probably would not keep the scroll, but in general I don't keep other wedding favors I receive. I just don't need more stuff and there are to many charities in need.
You can easily create a scroll by buying 8.5x11 paper, cutting it in four, printing what the couple wants on it, rolling, and then putting one of those wedding ring favors on it to hold it closed. They are easily found at Party City or other such places.
Loretia,
Thank you so much for your idea. As you said it's just easier to make the things, but I will definetially bring up the discreet sign idea. Any suggestions on what to do? I just can't seem to get out of this one.
Thanks again
My cousin did this at her wedding, and I certainly didn't think it was tacky at all. She and her husband were donating to two charities that research diseases that had affected our family and her husband's.
They printed up a sign explaining the charities they'd selected and why, put it in a nice picture frame, and put it on the table with the seating tags. Since you had to stop to look for your tag, odds were pretty high you'd see it.
While I love to get wedding favors-- just because I think they're fun and I like to see what everyone picks-- I thought that was a nice change.
After all, if you don't like wintergreen, you're not going to eat that roll of lifesavers... if you are allergic to chocolate, those M&Ms go in the trash. And it's not like I need one more knick knack in my house.
Oh, and-- you can point out that one sign (or one per table) in a frame is even MORE cost effective than individual scrolls with decor on them. You might also suggest that you think it'd be a nice touch if she and her fiance signed them all personally at the bottom... see if that doesn't bring her around to only signing one!
While I love to get wedding favors-- just because I think they're fun and I like to see what everyone picks-- I thought that was a nice change.
After all, if you don't like wintergreen, you're not going to eat that roll of lifesavers... if you are allergic to chocolate, those M&Ms go in the trash. And it's not like I need one more knick knack in my house.
I don't need any more knick knacks either, but why throw away good candy? Give them to someone who'd enjoy them. My son had a "candy buffet" at his wedding as the favor. Everyone could choose what they wanted. If they didn't like candy, no need to make a "favor."
Okay, after re-reading your original request for help (not an etiquette lesson, lol), and all the replies, I think I finally understand.
The bride and groom do not want to give the traditional wedding favor candy boxes, etc. to the guests at the wedding.
They would like you to make these scrolls instead, to give to the guests, which will say the bride and groom are donating to charity instead of giving wedding favors, right?
It's not your idea, or your wedding. "Poor you" were just asked to make the scrolls. I apologize for giving you a lecture about whether it's proper or not.
I like Loretia's idea about making them, using colored toothpicks and tying a ribbon around them.
Good luck to you. Sometimes it's hard to be the "crafty" one because then people always ask us to do things like this.
__________________ Bugga in OK
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." Dalai Lama
Need help, please I need ideas
