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Unread 08-09-2007, 09:15 AM   #601
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Hi all. I'm new to this thread too. I actually saw it a few months ago, but I was in kind of an ugly place in our adoption journey so I didn't post then.

We have a 4 year old son who was adopted through our church's agency. We had only been approved for 2 months when we found out about him and he was placed in our arms 2 weeks later when he was 2 days old. We had a few bumps at finalization with the birthfather but thanks to a great attorney we made it through that too. He is multi ethnic (bm is Caucasian, bf is AA/Hispanic). We have a semi open adoption but our communication is mostly with our birthmom's mom and our birthfather's wife (how strange is that?)

He's had some health issues just this year and we are actually going to see a pediatric genetics specialist here in the next month or so to get some of it sorted out. We didn't sign up for a special needs child, but just like when you give birth, you never know what kind of health challenges will arise. And we wouldn't change anything for anything with him.

But now, we have been waiting almost 3 years for another placement with the same agency. Just trying to have faith that God knows what he is doing and has a plan for us and our family. We've been close to giving up many times, but still feel the need to keep going. We just redid our family picture, birthmother letter and collage for the third time hoping to jump start our profile again.

Anyway, congrats to those who've made it through the process! And best wishes to all of those still waiting.
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Unread 08-10-2007, 09:11 PM   #602
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Default Congrats to Britta and family

Britta,

Just wanted to chime in with my good wishes ...
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Unread 08-10-2007, 09:22 PM   #603
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Britta, Britta, Britta!!! How exciting for you! Gosh, it takes me back to that time when all you have left to do is ANTICIPATE!!! (Well, that's not ALL, but ya know what I mean!) Best of blessings to you in this next year of adjustment and discovery. PLEASE keep us in formed! I want a blow-by-blow of when they place this baby in your arms! A picture wouldn't be lightly passed over, either!
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Unread 08-11-2007, 06:37 AM   #604
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I am sure I will have TONS of pics after Tuesday!
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Unread 08-11-2007, 09:00 PM   #605
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Can't wait to see your pics!
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Unread 08-11-2007, 09:35 PM   #606
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I've been reading some of the older posts on this thread and saw the subject of when to tell your children they are adopted. All of my adopted children know because they were old enough to remember "before" and since I foster it is just normal for children to be adopted or visiting while their Mommy gets well and can take care of them. If you ask my 6 yr. old where babies come from she says "social workers", lol, and my 4 year old will tell you that we got baby Patrick from McDonalds (we met at McDonalds when we picked him up from his former foster family).
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Unread 08-14-2007, 06:06 PM   #607
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My friend has a 4 yr old bio son and wants to adopt a boy around his age. She is considering both domestic and international. What are the pros and cons of adopting an older child? What about the ages being the same? Anyone out there with experience? Please PM me, if possible.
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Unread 08-16-2007, 10:42 PM   #608
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Britta, how did it go on Tuesday? Are you just eatting her up? Thinking of you!
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Unread 08-17-2007, 05:53 AM   #609
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Originally Posted by camsmom View Post
I am sure I will have TONS of pics after Tuesday!
*taps fingers*





*deep breath*




*praying for patience*



*oops! Remembers to NOT pray for patience*


*taps fingers again*

Okay Britta, we're breathlessly waiting for some of those pics! I mean, I know there isn't anything better to than hold and cuddle your newest sweet bundle of joy! Well, yes, there is a need to form some attachment and spend some time with Cam so he doesn't feel left out, have a life, and finish up paperwork, and. . . . . . .

Hugs to you all!
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Unread 08-17-2007, 08:02 AM   #610
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oops I posted in another thread but here ya go:

http:////www.splitcoaststampers.com/...4&postcount=89

warning-she is ultra cute and for moms who have adopted you may cry!!
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Unread 08-17-2007, 08:35 AM   #611
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Oh my, oh my, OH MY!!!! She is a bundle of darling! HUGE congrats to you, Britta!! Keep us up to date!
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Unread 08-17-2007, 10:48 AM   #612
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CONNGRATULATIONS Britta,
I am so excited for you. Reliving the day we picked our little bundle up at the airport. We call our Grace our little gift from Korea. They grow up fast.....she is now 18.
Enjoy every last moment. They are both beautiful children
GOD bless your family,
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Unread 08-17-2007, 10:52 AM   #613
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I wanted to post a quick note to let everyone know why I have been absent. I am actually leaving stamping. I am attempting to list and sell all of my stamps. I just don't see having any time in the near future to continue this.
We are done with the adoptions of our two pictured in my advatar. Then in March our foster daughter who had been adopted came back to live with us. Her mother died two weeks ago of cancer. Before she passed, we were asked to adopt our little Lily.
My life is very busy now with 2 one year olds and 2 year old Lily. All three little ones will be two by Nov. Quite a wonderful gift from GOD.
I wish all continued love and lots of children.
Your friend
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Unread 08-17-2007, 12:51 PM   #614
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Britta~

What a happy family! Everyone is just glowing! You were right, I was teary eyed! Ahhh, the memories and emotions it brings back!

Hugs to you all!
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Unread 08-17-2007, 02:02 PM   #615
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Thank you! She is just as sweet as she looks!

Shell-continued good wishes for your family as you shift onto a new phase of your lives!
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Unread 08-18-2007, 12:15 PM   #616
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She is just the sweetest bundle of joy Britta! I'm so excited for you!

Shelli, ditto on what Britta said. {{{HUGS}}}
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Unread 09-10-2007, 04:41 PM   #617
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Hi, Ladies! How is it going. Britta? Are you just overwhelmed and deleriously happy? How about an update!
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Unread 09-10-2007, 05:40 PM   #618
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paws2ink View Post
Hi, Ladies! How is it going. Britta? Are you just overwhelmed and deleriously happy? How about an update!

actually while I am super busy and stamping has had to take a mini backseat right now, I am not so much overwhelmed as just getting into a new routine.

Phoebe is just an awesome baby and we really seem to be getting into a good routine with her and Camden (who is enjoying kindergarten). I am very lucky that my DH is a total hands-on dad and between the 2 of us we feel like we are doing well adjusting to our new schedules and lives together.

i will say that yesterday I really had a crying meltdown because I was so sad for their birthparents not being able to know how much they are cherished and adored. While we celebrate Camden's b-day last weekend my heart ached for the woman who allowed him to be adopted. We can write letters and send them to their files in Korea, but we have no way of knowing that they will ever be seen. I just wish I could give them some peace of mind and let them know how our shared children have blossomed and what a joy they are.
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Unread 11-19-2007, 11:44 AM   #619
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OMGoodness Britta! I can't believe I am just seeing this! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

As for us...hmmmm....

Well, there isn't a ton to report, but a bit

On Saturday we FINALLY received our preapproval from immigration in the mail! That was the last piece of paperwork we were waiting on!! Also, I found out some very encouraging news from our agency today. We are most definitely NEXT in line for a baby girl at our agency. The ones right before us, had their paperwork in Korea about 3-4 weeks before us and they got their referral last week. I am very hopeful for a referral before Christmas!! Also, on the monetary side, we only have about $2700 that we don't have a clue how we are going to get it, LOL! The rest is accounted for! Isn't that AMAZING!! Of course, $4500 of it is in a loan of sorts form so we would really like to not have to have that either, but at least if we have to we know we can get it!

Last week I felt so stressed and helpless and now this week I actually can feel excited and hopeful! I am hoping for a very Merry Christmas and a new little bundle on her way home soon!
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Unread 11-19-2007, 01:01 PM   #620
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wowee that is great news!

Hopefully you will have as much pink in your life as we do now!!!
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Unread 11-29-2007, 08:53 AM   #621
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Hey, I just noticed this threat on the site and definitely want to get in on this. I'm a let's just say 30-something year old that was adopted from Seoul, South Korea when I was 7 months old. To all of you adopting, you can NOT begin to realize what a wonderful thing you are doing. NEVER in my life have I had any desire to meet my "biological family" or find my "true place in the world" or feel "something is missing". My life is as complete as it can get - although I wouldn't say no if Brad Pitt asked me to marry him.
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Unread 11-29-2007, 09:38 AM   #622
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Hey, I just noticed this threat on the site and definitely want to get in on this. I'm a let's just say 30-something year old that was adopted from Seoul, South Korea when I was 7 months old. To all of you adopting, you can NOT begin to realize what a wonderful thing you are doing. NEVER in my life have I had any desire to meet my "biological family" or find my "true place in the world" or feel "something is missing". My life is as complete as it can get - although I wouldn't say no if Brad Pitt asked me to marry him.
I appreciate your post. As an adoptive mother it has always been one of my "secret" fears that my DS will long to meet his bio mother. I do have a close friend who searched and found her bio mother and it was tragic, so I am glad to hear a different side of being adopted.

Welcome to SCS! This is a wonderful place for many different aspects of our lives.

Oh, I think that there are a number of us that would be happy if Brad Pitt came into our lives! LOL!
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Unread 11-29-2007, 10:13 AM   #623
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Quote:
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Hey, I just noticed this threat on the site and definitely want to get in on this. I'm a let's just say 30-something year old that was adopted from Seoul, South Korea when I was 7 months old. To all of you adopting, you can NOT begin to realize what a wonderful thing you are doing. NEVER in my life have I had any desire to meet my "biological family" or find my "true place in the world" or feel "something is missing". My life is as complete as it can get - although I wouldn't say no if Brad Pitt asked me to marry him.
Welcome! I agree with Melissa that your comments are very appreciated. You can see my 2 S. Korean cuties in my avatar.
Phoebe is going to turn 1 in 8 days! I can't believe it!
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Unread 11-30-2007, 08:55 AM   #624
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Hello everyone!
My name is Tricia, I live near Raleigh, NC and I just found this great thread. My husband and I have been married for many years and do not have any children. We are just starting this wonderful and scary process of adoption. We would are looking at international adoption. I am so happy I found this tread because I am sure that as we start this journey, I will have many questions.
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Unread 11-30-2007, 09:54 PM   #625
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Tricia,
Welcome, hopefully we can answer any questions you might have.


My hubby and I have three boys right now and have been waiting 10 months so far for our baby girl from China.
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Unread 12-02-2007, 09:24 AM   #626
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Tricia,
Welcome, hopefully we can answer any questions you might have.


My hubby and I have three boys right now and have been waiting 10 months so far for our baby girl from China.
Oh my gosh! 10 months! Is this typical? I assume you mean 10 months after all your paperwork is in. My husband and I were thinking of either China or Guatemala (if they open it back up for adoption). Like I said we are just getting started so we haven't ruled anything out yet
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Unread 12-02-2007, 11:00 AM   #627
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From S. Korea we waited about 18 months to find out about our daughter, and then she came home 2 months later. Korea just changed their process and we got caught up in the middle of it which is why our wait was so long.

Our son's process (back in 2002) was 10 months from our very 1st informational meeting to having him home.
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Unread 12-04-2007, 03:57 AM   #628
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Oh my gosh! 10 months! Is this typical? I assume you mean 10 months after all your paperwork is in. My husband and I were thinking of either China or Guatemala (if they open it back up for adoption). Like I said we are just getting started so we haven't ruled anything out yet
We are in the process of adopting from China. Our paperwork has been logged in to China since Jan 30 2007, right now the wait from log in date to referral is about 24 months, it keeps getting longer though, hopefully it will speed up again.
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Unread 12-26-2007, 11:45 AM   #629
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Hi,

I just saw this support group. We are in the very early process right now, we just got some of the information and are trying to decide which agency and if we should do domestic, international or SWAN. We were really shocked when we saw the prices and just trying to figure out what to do. We are going to a meeting on Jan 8th about the SWAN network, so maybe that will help.
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Unread 12-29-2007, 07:23 AM   #630
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Smile where to start

sitting around on a lazy saturday playing on SCS - and ventured past the stamping topics - thought i'd see what was on the "rest" of the site - and stumbled upon you guys -

maybe you can help -

DH and i have been married 11 years - no children. basically because the thought of labor terrifies me - go ahead - i've heard it all - it's perfectly natural - women have been doing it for years - blah, blah, blah - yup, but it's not for me - anyway!

so we'd like to adopt - but i/we have no clue where to start!!! the research i've done just overwhelms me - and the costs - wow!!!! how does the average person afford it!

so, where do we start - how do we keep the costs down -

i can't do the fostering thing - i wouldn't be able to deal with the possibility that the child could get ripped away one day if a parent changes thier mind.

tia for any info -

now - off to do some stamping - gotta make TY cards from christmas!
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Unread 12-29-2007, 05:41 PM   #631
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Default birth children and then adopted children

Hi-
We have a baby boy that I gave birth to. I love him deeply. We can't have anymore children and are thinking about adoption. If there are parents that have had biological children and then adopted could you please message me. What I wonder is- can I love an adopted child the same as my biological? I would also like to hear from adults that were adopted into families with biological children. I want to do my best for all of my children.
Thanks
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Unread 01-05-2008, 03:40 PM   #632
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Question for those that have adopted weather it be over seas or here or through foster care. How long does the process take. Years, months.

I am just curious.
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Unread 01-05-2008, 03:45 PM   #633
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We ran into a couple of highly unusual snags that drug our process out to two years, but the average start-to-finish time for the country we adopted from at the time was about a year. Belarus stopped all foreign adoptions, but there is some hope that they may re-open in the next few years.

I think it really depends on the country you are looking at.
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Unread 01-05-2008, 03:48 PM   #634
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Hi-
We have a baby boy that I gave birth to. I love him deeply. We can't have anymore children and are thinking about adoption. If there are parents that have had biological children and then adopted could you please message me. What I wonder is- can I love an adopted child the same as my biological? I would also like to hear from adults that were adopted into families with biological children. I want to do my best for all of my children.
Thanks
We have also had a biological child, unable to have anymore and are hoping to adopt. In answer to your question, I believe we are capable of loving an adopted child the same as a biological. Or at least I know I'll be able to. I think it's kinda the same as having more than one child. I always wondered how my parents could love my siblings as much as they love me, but they did. My Mother was adopted and I have an adopted brother. I don't love my bio brother anymore or less than my adopted one. My adopted brother came into our family going from the oldest of three to the 3rd of 6. I think what we are to do as parents are to love them and do our best for them.
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Unread 01-05-2008, 08:27 PM   #635
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Question for those that have adopted weather it be over seas or here or through foster care. How long does the process take. Years, months.

I am just curious.
I think it depends on how much you have to spend, what state you live in, and the agency you go through. We did a domestic adoption that finalized in 2005. It took us about 15 months to do our paper work, required classes, birthmother letter etc. (we did domestic adopiton) We had a few hiccups along the way (my mother passed away, father needed surgury) that stopped the process for a few months.

We tried to find our own situation for about 5-6 months. We spent a lot of money on ads, birthmother letters, postage, business cards, 800 phone # etc. We gave up on trying to do it alone. We went w/an agency in Texas. We started w/the agency in Aug. got our scrapbook to them in 2 weeks. By early Oct. we were hooked up w/our birthmother. She delivered Jan 3 2005.

With our agency, if something happens and the birthmother pulls out, you jump right to the top of the list for the next available adoption. I know people who went with other agencies or lawyers and have had situations fall through after months of financial support, then they had to start the process over again. That path can take years!

The adoption laws and foster adopt laws in California are awful!! The birth parent can hold off signing the papers for six months (and with effort for years), and can come and take the child back. Texas has great adoption laws. We had Rebecca in our arms in 2 days. All ours. We flew home 3 days later. We finalized in California 8 months later (was to be 6, but courts were backed up).

We loved the agency we worked with. They support the birthmothers and councel them for the first 6-7 months. This gets them through the first few phases where most women change their minds. They e-mailed the situation out. We have an open adoption and fly to Dallas once a year to visit the birthmother. Because it was an open adoption there were only 2 other families in the running.

We chose a domestic adoption for two reasons: the infant experience (at our age the youngest child we could expect from international adoption would be close to two years old), and SARS in east asia and Guatamala was closing their doors. We wouldn't trade away our daugther's first two years for anything. The cost (with travel and the high end agency we used) would have been about the same.
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Unread 01-05-2008, 08:33 PM   #636
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Hi,

I just saw this support group. We are in the very early process right now, we just got some of the information and are trying to decide which agency and if we should do domestic, international or SWAN. We were really shocked when we saw the prices and just trying to figure out what to do. We are going to a meeting on Jan 8th about the SWAN network, so maybe that will help.
One consideration is the $10,000 federal tax credit you can take in the year an adoption is finalized. In our case it didn't particularly help because we paid for the cost of the adoption in 2004 and finalized in 2005, so we didn't get the large refund until 2006. But the money is always welcome! We did an out of state domestic adoption, so we were unable to claim our state's tax credit.

We've never heard of a SWAN. What's a SWAN?
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Unread 01-06-2008, 07:44 AM   #637
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Hi-
We have a baby boy that I gave birth to. I love him deeply. We can't have anymore children and are thinking about adoption. If there are parents that have had biological children and then adopted could you please message me. What I wonder is- can I love an adopted child the same as my biological? I would also like to hear from adults that were adopted into families with biological children. I want to do my best for all of my children.
Thanks
We are the other way around. Adopted first, then had a biological. It was not at all what we planned. We tried to conceive for 5yrs, had a few surgeries, gave up, and adopted our precious son Andrew. When Andrew was 1.5 I thought I had a severe stomach flu. Surprise! I was preggo.

In answer to your question, YES YOU CAN! I love them both SO DEEPLY! DH and I forget that Andrew is adopted. He is just part of the family. HTH!
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Unread 01-06-2008, 08:40 AM   #638
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For those that have adopted more than once. . . . .

For years I said that I didn't want a second child (we adopted our son internationally, bringing him home at 8 months old). Well, now that my DS is 4.5 y/o I am wanting another child.

How was your experience the second time? I am most curious about dealing with the frustrations of having to go through a home study and "prove" yourself to be a good parent. I think that issue was the most frustrating part for us as I have a 1/2 sister that had 3 kids by age 20, no husband and living off welfare. No one made her take parenting classes, etc.

Anyway, that was the issue my DH brought up when we were discussing having another.
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Unread 01-06-2008, 12:23 PM   #639
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Question for those that have adopted weather it be over seas or here or through foster care. How long does the process take. Years, months.

I am just curious.
We are adopting from China, we started the process in April of 06 and FINALLY had our paperwork sent to China in Jan of '07, we've been waiting 11 months now and the wait at the moment is up to 24 months, it could get longer or it could speed up. There'e really no way to know....you just wait....
When we started it was at 14 months....
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Unread 01-06-2008, 12:37 PM   #640
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Our 1st adoption (in 2001-2002) was 10 months from start of our 1st meeting to having him in our arms.
2nd adoption was almost 3 years-we were slow on getting all paperwork done and then Korea had a huge change in its program. Phoebe arrived home in August at 8 months old.

Melissa-we did feel that way a bit-but now looking back it was just a blip on the radar, kwim? The cost of doing some of the same things again (fingerprinting, bg checks, etc.) were irritating, and when we were filling out what seemed to be the same type of paperwork for the 10th time! But now SO worth it!

(and we have friends who have the worst parenting skills-so much so that at times I do not even want to be around their kids or them! but that is life I guess-and then we feel better about pur superior parenting skills, LOL!)
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