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Old 08-06-2004, 06:25 AM   #1
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Hey Everyone,

I just found out that my grandma passed away last night.
You know, I just don't understand how something can happen to the same family so many times
You ever heard "for one new life one leaves"
Well, in my family everytime someone has been pregant or just had a baby, someone has died. I have four kids everytime I had them or just before someone in my family has died. I also, have a nephew and three neices someone in the family has also, passed away when they were born or shortly after. My sister-in-law is pregant and here now my grandma passes away. How can this possibly happen so much in one family?! This is a total of nine new lifes and nine lifes that have passed on.

Thanks for listening.

kastampin
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Old 08-06-2004, 06:29 AM   #2
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Oh, I'm so sorry for you. I'm sure it must be so bittersweet for your family. There is nothing so wonderful for a family than to celebrate a new life. Nothing more painful than to lose a cherished member. How unusual this has happened so many times to you all. I'll be praying for you family during this time.
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Old 08-06-2004, 06:29 AM   #3
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I have no explanations for you. I just wanted to say how sorry I am about your loss.
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Old 08-06-2004, 06:31 AM   #4
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I am so very sorry for the loss of your grandmother. I wish there were something I could say or do to help ease your pain now. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

There is a greater plan for all of us even when it doesn't seem so. Please continue to have faith and be strong.

Sincerely,
deb
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Old 08-06-2004, 06:44 AM   #5
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I am sorry about the loss of your grandmother, I know how painfull that is. Your family is in our prayers.

Denise
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Old 08-06-2004, 06:47 AM   #6
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May the God of all grace give you special and specific comfort during this time.
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Old 08-06-2004, 06:53 AM   #7
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kastampin, I am sorry to hear of your loss. It's so tough to deal with all of those emotions at once. My favorite uncle (the first of my dad's 11 siblings to pass away) died after a very prolonged illness. Around that time, my sister was getting ready to have her baby. She went into the hospital the morning of the funeral. As we were waiting for the pallbearers to load the casket in the hearse, my mom's cell phone buzzed, and it was my BIL calling to tell us of the birth of my niece. We were crushed and elated at the same time.

During the ceremony, the minister read a passage from Ecclesiates.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

It was so poignant, so perfect, so RIGHT for what had happened in our family, and brought great solace. My hope for you is that you and your yours find the same. Consider yourself hugged.
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Old 08-06-2004, 06:58 AM   #8
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Please know how sorry I am for your loss.

I lost my grandmother in August of 2001, my Dad November 2001 and my dear uncle in March of 2002. Three very special people so close together. My memories of them are precious beyond words to me. Keeping a journal and writing those memories down really helped me when I was having difficult days.

We can't always know why, we only know to keep trusting that God's plan is perfect. Someday we'll understand.

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers!

Donna
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Old 08-06-2004, 07:03 AM   #9
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Dear kastampin,
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma passing away. I pray that Heavenly Father will grant you His peace and wrap you in His loving arms. Life just seems so full of joys and sorrows. It seems like your family certainly has experienced that. I truly believe that all of those you have lost are so happy. But I understand the loss is so painful. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Kim
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Old 08-06-2004, 07:07 AM   #10
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I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother.

I have to tell you that my youngest son was born two days after my beloved mother in law died. I left the hospital early and was driven straight to her funeral with the baby in my arms. We named the baby for her, and we've always felt that a bit of her gentle spirit has lived on in him. I got to the funeral too late for anything but the end of the service, but apparently the rabbi had spoken at length about my new son and many people were happy to focus on something really happy that day. I know this is kind of rambling, but I hope you can take some comfort from this. Every time I think of my MIL dying, I also have the happy memory of my baby coming into the world. It keeps the pain from being awful.

Carolyn
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Old 08-06-2004, 07:13 AM   #11
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I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandmother. God has a reason for everything.

When my grandmother passed away last month my parents were discussing something similar to what you have experienced. My family's situation is a little different, but the questions are still there.

When each of my four grandparents and 2 of my greatgrandmothers passed away, each time it was the day before either my mom or dad was to start a new job. Sounds strange, but it's a fact. We kind of joked about it because it's so bizzare, but both of my parents are now afraid to start new jobs anymore because of this. I'm sure it's a coincidence, but it still makes you wonder if it somehow fits in with the whole 'scheme of things' that God has in store for us on Earth.

I also love the verse that Jenn posted...it is very comforting in the down times of your life.
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Old 08-06-2004, 07:27 AM   #12
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kastampin,
what a difficult repetition of events.

My husband and I were trying for a first baby not long before my FIL passed away. He had been kicked by a horse in the lower back region (think kidney area). We all kind of joked about his resulting hospitalization, and thought he'd be out in a week once the bruised kidney healed. That kidney never did heal, and in fact, led to organ system failure after organ system failure; he was probably never going to make it off of life support, and never regain his full faculties. The doctors advised the family to consider "what they wanted to do". 63 days after the accident, the family made the difficult decision to turn off life support. What a crazy and unexpected series of events for my in-laws to handle! This man was otherwise active and healthy, and dearly loved by his children, wife, and frankly, everyone who knew him.

My MIL and FIL had often had the discussion about what to do in such a situation, and she knew what his choice would be if he were alert enough to tell us all. It was an excruciatingly difficult thing to do (remember Steel Magnolias?), but at the same time, every single child and spouse, and several very close friends were gathered around his bed when he left the world.

One huge regret was that my FIL never knew any grandchildren, which he looked forward to desperately. His first grandchild was born almost exactly one year after his death, and was named for him (this is my oldest son, Guy). I am sometimes so overwhelmingly sad at the timing of all of this. How I wish Guy knew his Pepe (pronounced Pay-Pay - French).

My mother told me a story shortly after that, a Danish tradition (?), that says that the most recently deceased family member gets to pick the next little soul from heaven to enter the family! I know this is just a story; on the other hand, who really knows?? And I found it a reassuring thing that perhaps Guy the elder actually DID know Guy the younger! Along with my own dearly beloved grandfather.

There is no explaining these things, but I do believe there is an order in the universe that we cannot fully understand.

My prayers are with you and your family, and I hope this was not too lengthy when you just need a good cyber hug. Take care of yourself, and tell a lot of stories about your grandmother with each other. We found how much that helps to keep the person "alive" and with us forever.
God bless,
Rhonda
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Old 08-06-2004, 07:36 AM   #13
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Sorry y'all...I didn't know my "story" was so long...but it is very healing still to write about the circumstances and to let others know how important this man was.

When you all experience a close family death, doesn't it somehow feel as if your world has stopped, but the rest of the world just keeps moving on around you?

So kastampin, I guess this is a way to let you know that our world will stop with you for a bit.
Rhonda
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Old 08-06-2004, 08:05 AM   #14
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I have tears in my eyes from just reading part of this thread.

You have to look at it from a different perspective. Now each of these new children that were born have a very special angel in Heaven watching over them and helping to guide them through the hardships of life.

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your Grandma. It is always hard to say good bye. My Grandma was 93 when she died and we were ready for the good Lord to take her, but it was still so very hard to say good bye.

Lana
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Old 08-06-2004, 08:58 AM   #15
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It's the circle of life, like in The Lion King. I don't mean to trivialize by comparing life to a cartoon, but I know first hand about the circle of life, as my father was diagnosed with cancer (55) in November of 97 and passed away in February of 98. My middle son, Devin, was born January 3, 98, and he has been such a blessing to our family, and in helping us get through some of the toughest days of our lives. He especially was a great source of comfort for my mom, even though she had 3 older grandkids. I also witnessed this this past Memorial Day, when an uncle had a massive heart attack and died. His daughter had just had her baby on Mother's Day. My deepest sympathy for the loss of your Grandmother, and for all of the hurting hearts here. I pray you will find comfort in your memories.

Tari
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Old 08-06-2004, 09:19 AM   #16
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kastampin-

I am so sorry for your loss. It is the most awful thing to lose a family member...I know no words can take your pain or confusion away, but take peace in knowing that your Grandmother is in a wonderful place.


Rhonda--

I loved your Mother's story...My FIL passed away 3 weeks before our wedding. It was very devastating to my husband because he feels like he never got to tell his father how much he loved him and he never got to say goodbye. 1 1/2 years later we had our son and he says " I wish my dad could see Zach" I tell him that they have already met in heaven...I completely believe that...no doubt about it!! I just hope my FIL didn't tell my son all the bad things my husband did as a child as paybacks--ha ha!!

Michelle
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Old 08-06-2004, 09:22 AM   #17
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I am so sorry for all of your losses! Those stories are heart breaking. I'm sooooo lucky, I just turned 30 and I haven't had to deal with the loss of anyone. All of my friends and family are all healthy and alive. I am terrified of the day when I will have to face this situation. We do not have any children although we have been desperately trying for about 2 years, I'm just wondering what this all means and why it is happening.

Again, you are all in my thoughts.

Jennifer
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Old 08-06-2004, 09:59 AM   #18
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I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your grandma. Grandma's are very special people! I lost mine last spring and she meant the world to me. I still miss her terribly and probably always will.

There is no explanation for why things happen the way they do----we aren't meant to "know" as the Lord has His master plan. As the saying goes, "When one door closes, another opens..." is very true.

Take care and know we are all thinking of you!!!!

(((hugs)))
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Old 08-06-2004, 10:11 AM   #19
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I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know that you are in our hearts and minds.
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Old 08-06-2004, 10:15 AM   #20
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WOW! I can't believe all the posts on here already. I just want to thank-you all for keeping my family and I in your prayers. I was just crying reading them all. Some, of you also some very sad stories. I know we will all make it through this. I do feel that each of my kids and nieces and nephews have their own personal angel watching over them. I know this because the strangest thing happened the day before my oldest daughter turned 13. My Grandfather the first to pass away, died 25 and 1/4 hours before she was born. My Grandma told me this and it sticks in my head. Well, my daughter said the day before here birthday, " I will be 13 in 25 and 1/4 hours. It gave me goose bumps. This just proves to me that she has an angel watching over. My grandfather, this was his first Great Grandchild.

Thanks again.
Karen
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Old 08-06-2004, 10:44 AM   #21
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Karen, one of my favorite quotes is as follows:

"Death is a mere comma, not an exclamation point!" Neal A. Maxwell


The sorrow that we face in this life will be bitter and cause sadness, but oh the sweetness that we are able to experience as well! I am not sure of your beliefs, but I know that this life is not the end, and we will have the opportunity to be reunited with those who we love so much. My thoughts and prayers are with your family at this difficult time.
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Old 08-06-2004, 07:42 PM   #22
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Sharing events liek these are very healing.

My maternal granmother died just before we heard that my brother and his wife were expecting their first child (a boy).

My paternal granmother died 2 months before my husband and I got married.

My mother died on Easter Sunday 5 months before my first child, a daughter, was born.

That was a hard Easter for us. My DH's grandmother died on the Thursday, my wonderful mother on the Sunday and just to round things off, when we got back home (1 1/2 hours' drive from my dad's house), we found that our refrigerator had "died". It was all a bit surreal, they do say things happen in threes, so I put the refrigerator down to God's way of helping me focus on something else for a little while.
We didn't know the sex of our baby until she was born, and the only names we had decided definitely were girls names, so my mother knew her name and had also seen the first ultrasound picture. However, I know that my grandmother is watching over me and that my mum is watching over Stephanie and my boys. It's hard, even now (11 years later) to write this, so ...

kastamping ...

my prayers are with you and your family.

Cate
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Old 08-06-2004, 09:46 PM   #23
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you know you could look at it this way - death is inevitable and we can't control it - maybe a new life comes to comfort the family and bring joy to all in such a sad time -
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Old 08-07-2004, 06:09 AM   #24
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I also believe that bad things happen in threes. In 1996 from march till june was horrible. My mom passed away at the age of 49 from a heart attack the end of march, then my grandma ( moms mom) had a heart attack and had to have open heart surgery. And then to top it all off in june my wonderful husband at the age of 28 had to have open heart surgery to save his life. He is doing wonderful now. I say my prayers everyday that out of all the bad that my DH is doing wonderful and he is still here with me and our wonderful 3 kids. I am sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers also. Kerry
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Old 08-07-2004, 06:26 AM   #25
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Karen - I am so sorry for your loss. I too am grieving. My father passed away just three weeks ago tomorrow.

I will be thinking of you.

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