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I am trying to find a cute poem for my husband to use at work since we couldn't "Boo" at his office (majority don't celebrate Halloween)....I want it to be something with a turkey or the fall...but I can't find anything online....
so has anyone had any experience with this type of thing? or have you just been Boo'd??
When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
my big brother Tom took me out on the stoop,
then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
and he told me there was something that I had to know.
His look and his tone I will always remember,
when he told me of the horrors of.... Black November.
"Come around August, now listen to me,
each day you'll get six meals instead of just three,
and soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
and you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.
And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
in will burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head,
Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald 'n pink,
and scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink.
And then comes the worst part", he said not bluffing,
"She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing".
Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
and as I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
I decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked.
I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
high-roughage salads, juice and diet cola.
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing my fitness tapes.
I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
and tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed.
But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
as they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death.
And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound.
So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap.
I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap.
She held me today, while sewing and humming,
and smiled at me and said..... "Christmas is coming..."
TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING, BUT I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP
I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS, I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.
THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED - THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE
BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT
TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION
THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION.
SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR
AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE, FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.
I GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES,
PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES.
I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND,
'TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.
I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY
WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.
BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES....
HAPPY EATING TO ALL PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE.
MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY, MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP,
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS.
My turkey 'tis of thee
Sweet bird of cranberry
Of thee I sing
I love thy neck and wings,
Legs, back and other things
I love thy good stuffing
O Luscious bird!
Turkey trot
Turkey run
Time to have Thanksgiving fun!
Turkey right
Turkey left
Placed some treats upon your step.
Turkey sandwich
Turkey ham
Gobble up this Turkey-Gram!
Turkey Poop
Chocolate Peanuts or Raisins
Version #1
You invited me to Thanksgiving dinner
with your family and your friends.
You didn't tell me I was the main dish.
For me it was "THE END!"
You frightened me so badly--I knew I had been duped!
So, I left you with my calling card, this bag of turkey poop!
Happy Thanksgiving, from The Turkey
Version #2
I was going to leave candy but got caught in the coop.
I left you goodies anyway and now I flew the coop!
Version #3
I was going to leave candy, but got caught up in the coop.
I left you goodies anyway...oh yeah, that's Turkey Poop!
Have you been Turkey'd??
