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Old 11-25-2006, 06:24 AM   #1
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Rough Year-Miscarriage/Broken Ankle/Sister Died

Hi all,

Some of you have read my thread "Ever Broken an Ankle Before?"

In July I miscarried at three months. It was my last effort to have a third child as I am 40 years old and don't want to push it. I accepted the miscarriage and had decided to put my whole hearted energy into my two darling little girls.

THen, September I broke my ankle in three places which required surgery and my being bed ridden for five straight weeks. With two little kids you can image how difficult that might have been. My 39 year old sister came to Texas from New York to help me for what turned out to be her last six weeks.

She had a sudden heart attach after having announced she was going to go take a nap. There were no signs nor simptoms. It was sudden and she went quickly. We were very close, and it was the single most horrifying experience of my life.

I am now in New York on the down side of a long stay. I remained strong at the Wake and the Mass for my other family members. I know I will have to face the music (unpleasant memories) when I arrive back home in Texas. I really don't know what to expect.

Some words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Your prayers would also be a great help too. Thanks for listening.


Michelle
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Old 11-25-2006, 06:54 AM   #2
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I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my first husband to a heart attack when he was 21 years old, so I know what it feels like to lose a loved one. I can only tell you to trust in God and believe that he has a plan for your life. I know that may be hard to accept right now but I really believe that it is true. I have been through a lot in my 30 years and that is how I really make it through everything. I will keep you in my prayers.
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Old 11-25-2006, 07:14 AM   #3
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I wish I could come through and hug you. No advice just know that you are not alone.
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Old 11-25-2006, 07:23 AM   #4
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You have been through so much this year! I'm so sorry for the loss of your young sister. Your wonderful memories of being so close will help to carry you through the rough times. And your children need you and will definitely be there in a way you never thought possible! I'll bet you will see you and your sister in your daughters and that will keep you happy. Think of your sister often and remember to talk about her, I think that always helps. God bless you!!!
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Old 11-25-2006, 08:02 AM   #5
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Oh dear, Michelle! My heart aches with you. I miscarried at 3 mos in June (trying 9 years, no children at 38yo) and I know your pain your heart feels in this area. I know losing the pain of your sister must be equally painful, and that on top of the physical pain of your ankle. I'll be praying for you, my friend. Take time for you and let yourself grieve and heal. It's a process - and let God lead you through it in. Big hugs to you, sweetie. We are here for you when you need us.
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Old 11-25-2006, 08:48 AM   #6
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I am sorry you have suffered so much loss this year. What a blessing to have had some time with your sister before her untimely death...she was so young!

I hope you have some strong support systems in place to help you through the wide range of emotions you're surely experiencing right now. I know the holidays are especially rough when you've lost a family member.

The year I suffered my miscarriage while at the unexpected death-bed of my MIL was very painful. After all the friends and family went on with their lives, I was left to try and understand why all that had happened to me/us. I read several books on loss/grief/faith and little bits of each helped me work through the pain.

Being able to talk about how you feel helps, and SCS is filled with many wonderful listening ears. I'll be sending a prayer your way and know that many other ladies will do the same. Take care and HUGS!!!!!

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Old 11-25-2006, 09:26 AM   #7
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Michelle
I am so sorry to hear of all this. Sometimes it does seem like when it rains it pours, and we feel as though we can not take a bit more.

One of our pregnancy losses happened in the 3rd month, and I understand how devestating that can be. You do start to get farther along and become a little more comfortable that everything will be 'Ok". Then the surprise of discovering it's not ok just adds to the whole tragedy of the loss. I say that to say that I do understand the sadness, frustration, disappointment & anger that can go along with a loss like this.

I am so sorry to hear of your sister as well. Are you saying she was at your place when this occured? Either way, how sad to have such a shocking end to a young life. I am so sorry for all this.

I will not gloss over the fact that the upcoming holidays will probably make all these events seems a little harder to endure. I do hope there is plenty of family & friends close to you to give you all the support & love you need to get through this. It's never easy, but look at those 2 darling girls - real miracles.....as every child is really a miracle - than enjoy experiencing life and the holidays with them.

Could you possible plant a tree or shrub in memory of your sister and another in memory of your unborn child? I've heard of many that have gone through miscarriages doing this as a "burial" for closure. Also it is a sweet way to have a close reminder of your sister.

((((hugs))))) and prayers
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Old 11-25-2006, 10:52 AM   #8
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Michelle,
I hope that knowing you are in the thoughts and prayers of so many of us will help. I don't know how old your girls are, but I know from experience how important it is to savor every moment - they will be growing up way to soon. Eventually the pain of the loss of your sister will lessen. I had a remotely similar experience - I had spent a couple of weeks with my healthy mother and only a month later she passed away suddenly. This was 2 years ago, and I still find myself mentally thinking of things I would like to tell her, but I am grateful for the 2 weeks we had together.

This is a wordy way to say - know that you can find support here whenever you need it.
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Old 11-25-2006, 11:10 AM   #9
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Sending lots of prayers and thoughts your way. My heart goes out to you.
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Old 11-25-2006, 11:22 AM   #10
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I'm sorry for your loss Michelle. I also lost my sister. It's the hardest thing I've ever gone through. Hope your ankle heals fast. You'll be in my thoughts.
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Old 11-25-2006, 12:02 PM   #11
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Oh Michelle,
I am so sorry for your loss. I was never fortunate enough to have a sister but I can imagine what you are going through... I hope things look up for you real soon. Hugs...

Joanne
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Old 11-25-2006, 12:05 PM   #12
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Hugs and prayers for you, dear. I'm so sorry for your losses.
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Old 11-26-2006, 07:06 AM   #13
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Michelle,
I am so very sorry for your loss, I never had a sister and always wanted one to share things with so I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. I also know the pain of losing a baby, my 2nd daughter was born premature at 26 1/2 weeks and lived only 6 weeks, so I do understand how devastating it is to have all your hopes and dreams shattered for a much wanted child. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope brighter days will be coming your way.
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Old 11-26-2006, 04:48 PM   #14
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Default Picture Day Today

Hi all,

My sister in law had a great idea to have all of our kids photographed. My late sister's son, my two little girls and her boy and girl. It came out great! I know it will be a lovely Christmas surprise for my parents, grandma and aunts.

Thank you all for your encouraging words. I really appreciate it. I'm feeling a bit wiped out today from all of our visiting here in New York. Looking forward to going home to Texas, but then a little nervous too. My husband suggested changing the bedroom my late sister stayed in into either the play room or a craft room to kind of change up the tragic memories there. Maybe a change of scenery in that room would help a little bit.

You're right that God has big plans for me, as well as my sister. I just keep praying that he allow me to stay here to raise my little girls. Boy do I have one big New Year's Resolution to stay healthy. My husband too whether he likes it or not. We are fairly healthy, but every little bit to stay in shape and eat right helps, right?

Thanks again.

Michelle
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Old 11-28-2006, 06:15 AM   #15
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Michelle,
God bless your heart! I will keep you in my prayers, that you will know the Lord's comfort and healing. We know the Lord doesn't cause sad things, but He can use them for His glory...Romans 8:28 is a great verse when circumstances cast their shadow. PM your address if you'd like a rak.
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Old 12-09-2006, 05:21 PM   #16
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Hey Michelle, how are you doing? We're still thinking good thoughts for you and your family. . . .
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Old 12-09-2006, 09:25 PM   #17
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Hi Holly,

As far as my ankle goes, it's healing slowly but surely. I'm down to one crutch now, and physical therapy is going well.

Regarding my sister, I miss her terribly. It seems as though she just went back to New York from visiting me here in Texas. The only catch is I can't call her every few days like I did before she passed away. Such an odd feeling. Common sense tells me she is in heaven, but my heart is denying it all the way.

I have my good days and bad days. I did manage to decorate the house for Christmas (in her honor) and get half way through my Christmas cards. I've done some shopping and got a lot done. I'm just sad that she won't be here to celebrate with us.

We drove through two different neighborhoods in my area tonight, and the lights were spectacular. Each neighborhood coordinated liken lighting schemes. So beautiful! Just wish my sister were here (really here) to see them with me.

I can't image how I am going to feel in a few months or even a year from now. We were very close, and she was only 39 years old. Again, so sudden and still a shock to all who knew her.

Thanks for your heartfelt concern. It is good for me to vent.

Michelle
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Old 12-19-2006, 02:04 PM   #18
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We're still thinking of you, Michelle. . . .
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Old 12-19-2006, 07:11 PM   #19
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Smile

Hi Holly,

Thanks

I went to physical therapy today for my ankle and I actually got a regular tennis shoe on for the first time. Yeah! It's coming along very nicely. Can't believe it's been 3 months since my surgery. I still need to use one crutch to get around outside (for safety) so I don't wobble, but I get around pretty well at home without it as long as I take my time.

Regarding my sister--Last week I just broke down and sobbed on the way to picking up my preschooler. I almost had to pull over. Just a song on the radio got to me. It was the first time I really cried like that since the day she died. The song is "Far Away" by Nickleback.

I bought some nice picture frames today to put some special pics of her and her son in. They are really nice looking. Believe it or not - Walmart.

I was thinking of inviting some friends over for the holidays since we are grounded home in Texas this year. All of our family live in New York. I don't mind really, but I don't think it's a good idea to be alone. Might make me dwell too much, and that's no fun. So, a party sounds like a good idea.

Hope you have a great Christmas and let's pray for a happier New York.

Thanks again,

Michelle
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Old 12-19-2006, 08:51 PM   #20
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I think inviting your friends for the holidays is a wonderful idea. I'm so sorry for all you've been through....prayers heading your way (okay, well actually heading to God but you know what I mean!)
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Old 12-26-2006, 08:18 AM   #21
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Question Just When I thought it Couldn't Get any Worse

Hi All,

Hope you all had a great holiday.

I spent two days in the hospital. I had the symptoms of a heart attack. After several tests I have been diagnosed with Prolonged QT Syndrome, which is a genetic heart disease. It has to do with the electrical impulses from the heart.

I really wonder if this was what caused my sister's sudden death last month as this disease is both genetic and related to Sudden Cardiac Death.

I have been given medication to control this, which from what I've read on the internet warrants a 70-80% effectiveness. Worse case senario, I may need to have surgery and have a unit put in to control the impulses (kinda like a pace maker). Mind you I am only 40.

According to the internet this disease can show up as late as between 30-45 years of age or as early as 12-15 years old. Also related to sudden deaths among teenagers in sports. Apparently, schools are requiring full physicals prior to allowing kids into competitive sports now.

I am a little scared (of course). I have two little kids to raise, and I plan to live to be 80. Anyone else familiar with QT Syndrome?

Michelle
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Old 12-26-2006, 10:30 AM   #22
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{{{Michelle}}}

Thank goodness you found out about this and can now do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

My family has some heart issues too, though not with Prolonged QT Syndrome, so I don't have any medical insight to share.

All I can say is, I'm thankful to be living in this country in this time--we have access to medical treatment and care that our ancestors (and a large percentage of today's world) could only dream of.

Kinda makes me want to put 'count blessings' and 'don't sweat small stuff' at the top of my New Year's resolutions for 2007.

Hang in there, and take good care of yourself.
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Old 12-26-2006, 12:27 PM   #23
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Praying for you, Michelle...that you will feel the Comfort of our Father's Love surround you, especially during the holidays. Rest in His Arms...He's watching over you. He even sent you some warning signs to get some medical attention for something that you didn't even know you had!! That's a blessing, in a strange way I guess! Maybe by the loss of your sister, other family members (her children, your children, etc..)may be saved from the same fate since it seems like the condition maybe genetic. I don't know...only God knows why things happen. Take care and listen to the doctors! Get lots of rest. You are in many thoughts and prayers.
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Old 12-26-2006, 12:43 PM   #24
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Oh Michelle, I'm so sorry to hear about your condition, but I'm also glad that they found out about it before something worse happened! It does sound like that may have been what your sister had and was never diagnosed. I will be praying that the medication keeps things under control but if surgery is needed then maybe that would be a more permanent solution. I will definitely be thinking of you, please keep us posted on how you are doing and I'll be sure to check in on you as well. Take care of yourself.

{{{{Hugs}}}}
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Old 12-26-2006, 02:30 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MDixon
Hi All,

Hope you all had a great holiday.

I spent two days in the hospital. I had the symptoms of a heart attack. After several tests I have been diagnosed with Prolonged QT Syndrome, which is a genetic heart disease. It has to do with the electrical impulses from the heart.

I really wonder if this was what caused my sister's sudden death last month as this disease is both genetic and related to Sudden Cardiac Death.

I have been given medication to control this, which from what I've read on the internet warrants a 70-80% effectiveness. Worse case senario, I may need to have surgery and have a unit put in to control the impulses (kinda like a pace maker). Mind you I am only 40.

According to the internet this disease can show up as late as between 30-45 years of age or as early as 12-15 years old. Also related to sudden deaths among teenagers in sports. Apparently, schools are requiring full physicals prior to allowing kids into competitive sports now.

I am a little scared (of course). I have two little kids to raise, and I plan to live to be 80. Anyone else familiar with QT Syndrome?

Michelle
Hi Michelle,
Sorry to hear of all you've endured this year. Just wanted to let you know that I am vaguely familiar with this.

Although we later heard that it usually happens after physical or emotional exertion, it happened to a fellow employee who was in a meeting with about 40 of her counterparts and supervisors. At first, everyone thought that she was like many of them, finding it hard to stay awake for the afternoon portion of the meeting. When her body went limp in her seat, they initially thought she had fainted so they tried to prop her up and wake her up.

They couldn't get her up and her body was so limp they placed her on the floor and someone asked that people move away so she could get some fresh air. Luckily, one of them noticed that she was not breathing and yelled out to the others. I think everyone was in shock and this one individual ran to her and started administering CPR and others ran to call 9-1-1. She continued to administer CPR until the paramedics arrived and they were still working on her as they sped away.

The action by the individual saved her life and her physician decided that the "pacemaker" had to be installed. I believe she was on leave from work for about 2-1/2 months from the time of her collapse. She came back to work as chipper as ever and retired as soon as she became eligible. Not because she was ill, but because she wanted to do some traveling with her DH to visit their first grandchild.

I believe she was in her early 50s when this happened more than 12 years and 5-6 grandchildren ago. She told my boss that she had no recollection of what happened other than feeling like she was dozing off; something they always did at these meetings. She was very, very lucky that it happened with people around her - and especially the one who took action. On a normal workday - she would have been sitting all alone in her office.

i hope this helps a little. My good thoughts are with you.

Lynn
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Old 12-26-2006, 06:10 PM   #26
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Michelle

I wish the New Year brings a better year. I feel your pain. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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