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-   -   How to Win Friends and Influence People (https://www.splitcoaststampers.com/forums/need-lift-f63/how-win-friends-influence-people-t43376.html)

Jami 04-16-2005 01:08 AM

How to Win Friends and Influence People
OK - maybe I misrepresented myself a tad as I have no idea how to influence people, but I do have some tips on making friends here at SCS! Recently I've seen several posts from people feeling left out or ignored. That made me very sad and being a problem-solver by nature I came up with what I hope are some helpful tips to feeling more "in" around here. I know I've made some wonderful friends and with almost 40,000 of us here, there are plenty of friendships to go around.

Making Friends on SplitCoast

1. Post, post, post! - The more people see your posts the more familiar they will feel with you and the friendlier they become (assuming your posts are nice http://forums.splitcoaststampers.com...ilies/wink.gif ). If you are new here post a little intro of yourself so people can get to know you. Welcome newbies when they post their intros.

2. Post comments in the gallery. Each comment brightens someone's day. That is bound to come back to you in a positive way!

3. Start a gallery of your own and upload every chance you get. People appreciate your gallery samples and this is another way for folks to become familiar with you. Besides, having a gallery is so much fun! Once you get past the nervousness of the first upload, you'll be addicted. Be sure to label your first upload as such or even start a thread in General Discussion so everyone can be sure to take a look.

4. PM people. If you have a question about a card in the gallery PM the creator. If you see that someone on a thread is from your area PM them to say hi. If you see something that seems like an "inside joke" PM the poster and ask them about it. I've done all of these things and have made some great friends this way. Not every PM will turn into a friendship, but it helps to put yourself out there.

5. Join a swap. My first SCS friendships were formed when I decided to become a swap hostess. Once you get your swap cards back e-mail or PM the other swappers to tell them what you liked about their cards.

6. Join the RAK Forum - You can never go wrong by sending RAKs.

7. Put up your photo as your avatar. I know not everyone likes to do this, but people do feel comfortable with you faster when they can put your face with your name.

8. Don't take it personally when you get "ignored". If you start a thread and don't get much or any response - don't take personal offense. With thousands of threads going on at any one time it happens to everyone from time to time (yep - even big-mouth me has started threads with nada response!). You can always bump your thread a few times if necessary or let it die and move on to something else. Just know that people are NOT ignoring you on purpose! This place is tough to keep up with!

9. Help others. Answer questions whenever you can even if it's just to give them a link to the info they need. I have a couple of "pet threads" that I always refer people to when I see those particular questions (which reminds me I'll need to find them again here in this new format) - beaded pens and paint cans. If you come across a helpful thread bookmark it so you can refer people to it in the future.

10. Be positive whenever possible. We all have gripes, complaints, vents, etc. and one of the great things about SCS has always been the freedom to express ourselves, but before hitting the submit button it's always a good idea to re-read what we've written and evaluate whether or not the negative is really necessary. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it is, but can be toned down or tempered.

11. Go to the Weekly Challenge Forum and join a challenge. There's a new one almost every day - each running for a full week - and you can jump in at any time! They are really fun and again another great way to start getting familiar with more people.

12. Be a friend. The first step to making friends is to be a friend. Find a way each day to encourage someone or make someone's day a little better. The smallest comment or gesture can mean so much!

SCS is such an awesome community - truly my happy place. The creativity and caring and generosity of the people here just blows me away! Stamping yes, but also so much more!!! No one is required to do any of the things I've listed above. They are just suggestions to try if you want to.

How about you - do you have any suggestions to add to the list? Please post any ideas you have about how to make friends and feel really "in" around here. Or tell us a little story about a friendship you've cultivated here and how it started!

I BEG YOU - please no negative posts on this thread. There are plenty of threads already going for that. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let's keep this a happy helpful thread! And keep it bumped up for Saturday. HUGS!!! http://forums.splitcoaststampers.com...es/biggrin.gif

Stampin Wrose 04-16-2005 01:18 AM

Here's the fist Bump!

This sounds great. Thanks so much for taking the time to think and type this all out!!!

Now I give it to someone else to bump in the morning. :)

jkincolorado 04-16-2005 01:26 AM

Ahhh, Jami--excellent advice!!! :D I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression of me.....I DO love this site and the gallery is amazing!!! I just got my feelings hurt and I kinda went bonkers. I'm ok now and I really enjoy everyone on here--everybody has good days and bad days--that's life. I've made some wonderful friends on here and I hope I continue to make more. I now feel the love. Thanks for posting excellent advice!!! :D:D:D

HKKatie 04-16-2005 04:22 AM

All excellent ideas!! Thanks for posting that!

art4girlsmom 04-16-2005 04:39 AM

Thank you so much for that great advice Jami! I am new to SCS as well as a new demo since February (btw I did achieve my Stampin' Start!). I have been stamping for about 5 years though. I must say too that I don't know what took me so long to sign up! I wish I had done it years ago. Enough about me, I just wanted to say that I was afraid to post my first photo in the gallery, but you're right, after the first it was easy to keep going. I can't wait for the gallery to come back up so I can post more. I am anxiously waiting for the DD gallery to post as well.
Thanks again Jami!

tickley_toes 04-16-2005 05:26 AM

Thanks Jami! Those are great points and (like another thread before this was discussing) we need to try to assume the best in people and not the worst. After that thread I was thinking a lot about it it and I think maybe I do tend to think the worst and jump to the wrong conclusions too quickly. I really want to change that!

lindalee 04-16-2005 05:35 AM

If you are PMS-ing, don't even log in!;)

starlightstamper 04-16-2005 05:49 AM


It's easy to see why you've made so many friends here. This is great advice and you have brought up some things I would not have thought of. This is a great place to hang out. I tend to be more of a lurker than a joiner, but I would like to be more involved. That being said, maybe today would be a great day to start my own gallery! Oh wait, no gallery yet today. I guess I'll have to work on some cards to post in it instead.

Bev Barton 04-16-2005 05:54 AM

Leave it to you to come up with some wonderful advice. This is so nice of you to share with everyone!!! Have a great Saturday!

Amanda_Sewell 04-16-2005 06:00 AM

I agree with pretty much all of those. I decided to get more involved a litt while ago and started to do those and it has paid off! Thanks for posting this :)

HB 04-16-2005 06:05 AM

Jami, you ROCK girl! Very well said. SCS is such an awesome place to meet friends. I've got a host of new friends that spread across the US and into Canada! Along with the swaps, people can join the special groups - SOF, Secret Sister, etc. These have been great connections for me to touch someone new.
Hope the sun is shining bright on you today :)

photocropper 04-16-2005 06:28 AM


Thanks for the wonderful advice!


Consuelo 04-16-2005 06:41 AM

Great advice Jami! I especially agree with the 1st point. Post, post, post! I butt my nose into everyone's conversation when I have the time. It's how people get to know you.

showmestamper 04-16-2005 06:50 AM

Jami, You ROCK, girlfriend! Totally excellent, well-worded and thought-out advice!

I feel very comfortable calling Jami "girlfriend" even though she and I have never met because:

#1: she posts a lot, and I feel I "know" her because of it
#2: she has a left a ton of comments in my gallery (and THANK YOU, Jami!) and comments really do make me (and everyone else) very happy
#4: she and I have PM'ed occasionally...nothing major, just sometimes an extra note reinforcing what I already mentioned in a thread. Again, it's just nice to get a PM!
#7: she has her picture as her avatar! It is much easier to connect with someone when you know what they look like. I would love to see everyone's face!
#9 & #10: she is always positive and helpful...this thread is an excellent example
#11: she plays along with the challenges, and even if she can't play, she will add a comment to the cards or adds a reply to the thread which bumps it up.

The above numbers refer back to Jami's original list of suggestions. (I really can number a list correctly LOL!)

Thank you again, Jami. I appreciate you taking time to help make SCS the best it can be.

Now...I'm off to dust off my Newbie/Lurker Invitation to post thread. Oh dang! the gallery is down. Well when it gets back up...I will bump it up again.

Have a great day gals!

Melissa 8791 04-16-2005 07:22 AM

Jamie and Beth,

You have both given such great advice. It is always refreshing to see a "positive" thread.


kayinrd 04-16-2005 07:27 AM

This is great, Jami!!! You've just written a great tutorial....maybe a moderator will make this a sticky!!!

Consuelo 04-16-2005 07:29 AM


Originally Posted by showmestamper
#7: she has her picture as her avatar! It is much easier to connect with someone when you know what they look like. I would love to see everyone's face!

Don't forget that we now have that new feature that if you click on someone's screen name and go to their profile, you might see their pictures. I use my avatar for fun. My picture of my smiling face is in my profile.http://forums.splitcoaststampers.com...lies/smile.gif We've got options now!! Wooho!

11Valerie11 04-16-2005 07:46 AM

Hey Jami,

This is wonderful, sound advice to keep our playground an enjoyable place to visit.

I agree with kayinrd, this should be a sticky, there is so much valuable information in this post. I recently had to opportunity to meet Jami, in real life, and because of the way she follows her own advice and conducts herself here, she was as pleasing, kind, thoughtful, energetic, and as creative, as I imagined her to be.

Thanks, Jami, for the time and energy you put into creating this post, and thank you to all of you who read it and apply it to how you play in this wonderful playground of ours!

jm_donahoe 04-16-2005 08:06 AM

Jami, how nice of you to post this! You were one of the people that kept encouraging me when I first started posting and adding cards to the gallery. You are always so nice and helpful - thank you.

I agree, posting comments in the gallery is a great way to involve yourself in a positive way. and starting a gallery and...
all the stuff Jami said ;)

And joining the challenges was a great way to get started for me!

InaRubberRoom 04-16-2005 08:28 AM

I have to say - this is one of the reasons I just adore SCS. I am fairly new here as well and am constantly amazed at how nice and helpful everyone is here. Yes, I know there seems to be a bit of the "nasties" going around here right now, but from the point of view of a native New Yorker even the snarkiness (do we still use this word?) is fairly mild. It is very refreshing to see genuine, nice people. I also get an awesome laugh everyday from what goes on around here!!! Thanks Jami for caring about everyone else and taking the time to post your thread. See I'm posting and getting my name (a gorgeous face of Benicio Del Torro) out there!

Not so jaded anymore in NYC.

Doris 04-16-2005 08:28 AM

Thanks for posting this....terrific advice. There are some things you stated, that I never would have thought about.

Have a great Saturday everyone! :)

mamakimberly 04-16-2005 08:56 AM

what a great post Jami :)

I agree! Be nice and post often :)

JoyOfStamping 04-16-2005 08:59 AM

Jami, thanks for taking the time to do this! This is great advice. I love this place and I have made so many friends here.... including you! So glad to be part of the SCS family!

lzappa 04-16-2005 09:00 AM




photocropper 04-16-2005 09:14 AM

Awesome advice!


Motherof6 04-16-2005 09:19 AM


Originally Posted by dncbanks
Don't forget that we now have that new feature that if you click on someone's screen name and go to their profile, you might see their pictures. I use my avatar for fun. My picture of my smiling face is in my profile.http://forums.splitcoaststampers.com...lies/smile.gif We've got options now!! Wooho!

Thanks Consuelo for the reminder. I do love seeing the smiling faces. I tried putting a picture in my profile but the pixels made us all look like aliens (and we don't usually ;) ) I belonged to another forum where the people refused to sign their real name or even let on to who they were.

Jami great advice. I know for me it was hard to put my foot forward but remember the first step is the hardest.

sluman 04-16-2005 09:27 AM

Thanks Jami! You are awesome! http://www.geeknewz.com/board/style_...bsupsmiley.gif

aselahop 04-16-2005 09:30 AM

Jami you rock! Such wonderful advice.


Sencie 04-16-2005 09:47 AM

Thank you!:)


Kauai17 04-16-2005 09:53 AM

Words of wisdom...great post!!! Thanks Jami.

coastie wife 04-16-2005 09:54 AM

I am new and this is so great to read. I am not a demo (yet) but have a bazillion questions in considering signing up.

It is hard to get 'noticed' on a board with so many members, and I love your advice. THANK YOU.

dolphenecho 04-16-2005 10:00 AM

words of advice
Great, great words of advice.... Thanks :rolleyes:

Jami 04-16-2005 10:15 AM

Wow Ladies I am definitely feelin' the LOVE!!!! What a great way to wake up on a Saturday morning!

Would anyone would be willing to share a short little story of how you made a friend here at SCS? I think this could be a big encouragement to others.

I'll go first...hmmm several examples come to mind...here's one. Back in December I had an idea of getting people to commit to make 10 Christmas cards each month so we could avoid the last minute stress I had gone through the last couple of years. This idea must have come about from some discussion on a thread because the same day I thought of it someone else mentioned it in a post. That someone was photocropper - Shelly. I PMed her and we decided to start the Christmas Card Challenge. We now e-mail regularly and although we have never met in person I feel fortunate to call her a friend.

If you haven't yet had an opportunity to make friends here then please share one thing you will do in the next week to make SCS a better place and possibly lead to a friendship. Happy Saturday everyone! :)

Kauai17 04-16-2005 10:28 AM

I'll go.....Back in Dec. I kept noticing that jkincolorado and I were posting pretty much on the same topics and on the same ideas. I wanted to PM her but was shy since I just joined. Well 2 months past where we still posted in the same threads and then one day I got a PM from her saying that she thinks that she is stalking me. It was funny and we became fast friends who talk every week.
I also made several friends by joining both the RAK and SOF groups. You know mom was right when I was younger she use to always say get involved any way you can because that is the quickest way to meet people!

Ally 04-16-2005 10:46 AM

Wow, Jami what a lovely thread. It's amazing how the nice little things that people do can brighten up other's days. I must try and remember that in the future and try to make nice little comments to make others feel better. I believe in karma, so Jami, you are due something really nice happening to you.

Granny Hawkins 04-16-2005 10:48 AM

Thank you so very much for the comments and suggestions.

I feel alot better now about not being afraid to post.

I haven't put my cards in the gallery but plan to when I can get my daughter to stop by on her way home from work.

I am also going to stop saying to myself how much I love someone's cards and start telling them in the comments section!

Jami 04-16-2005 10:50 AM


Originally Posted by lindalee
If you are PMS-ing, don't even log in!;)

Just gotta say - great advice and made me laugh!!!

Jami 04-16-2005 11:03 AM

Just thought of another tip:

Put your first name in your sig line. People will feel more comfortable with you more quickly if they have a first name to go with your screen name.

Of course in my case...:rolleyes:

camsmom 04-16-2005 11:36 AM

I couldn't agree more Jami!*but* I think you forgot to add that when in doubt post a glamour shot or another funny pic of yourself and people will be knocking your door down;) , LOL.

justheather 04-16-2005 11:39 AM

Great reminders, even for us old timers. Thanks, Jami!

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