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Old 08-04-2005, 01:02 AM   #1
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Encouragement Needed

I am sorry to air my problems on here, but I really need someone who understands and might be able to tell me it will be all right. I am so frustrated with everything right now. Hubby and I have been married for 10 years now and he hates the person I have become. Problem is that I care, but don't care enough or have the energy enough to do anything about it. He requested that I go see a specialist for my problems and so I did. I had to have a hysterectomy December of 2003 (I was 29) and did o.k. afterwards. Now I am having horrible hot flashes and so they are playing with my Estradiol dosages -- would love to be able to do the patch, but am allergic to the adhesive. Thinking my hormones were most of my problems I thought the OB/GYN Nurse Practitioner would be able to help me out with my depression issues also (as if menopause wasn't enough!!). I have been on so many different medications and just thought that they hadn't found the right one yet. Not true. I now have made an appointment to go see a Neuropsychologist because the ARNP feels that I have resistant depression and that it is going to take some trial and error of a few different medication combinations to help me. I haven't felt "normal" since I had my daughter (who I love very much by the way) in 2000. I had awful post partum depression and just really haven't ever rebounded from it. I have tried herbs, vitamins, etc, etc, etc. Nothing is working and I am just continuing to withdraw from my family more and more.

Now I am so scared and frustrated as I just want an "easy" fix and I know there is no way that's going to happen. I am tired of feeling so crappy and being such a b!tch to my family. My daughter told me the other day she just wished she had a "nice Mommy" I am just so frustrated with everything and just need to know that I truly am not alone out there.

I am sorry for this being so long and I'm sure it will make no sense after a couple hours of sleep -- oh ya it's almost 1 in the morning and I am so tired, but cannot sleep -- another issue I'm having. My hair is falling out and I've had to keep it short because it looks like crap if I even attempt to let it grow.

They have checked my thyroid and it is fine.

I am just so absolutely frustrated and just need a break from this life.

Thanks for listening to my sob story. Sorry for airing my "dirty laundry"

Michele
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Old 08-04-2005, 04:28 AM   #2
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Hang in there. They'll find the right med cocktail for you. I know its tough, but I've been there. Recently diagnosed with RA. Dh's support has been over- whelming...NOT!!!! Can't understand why I'm moody ( a bit of menopause tossed into the mix!). I'm fairly new here, but these folks are a great lifeline!!!
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Old 08-04-2005, 07:10 AM   #3
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Could DH go to a support group for family members of those coping with depression? I know that it's been a great help to me to understand my mom and what she's going through. It helped me to help her better, kwim?

Things will get better. You are very brave and not selfish to be pursuing treatment. My mom took the selfish - I don't have a problem, you do approach and made all of our lives he**. I think that when someone is seeking treatment, it is very brave because it's a scary and difficult process. Your daughter will respect you for it.

Best wishes,
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Old 08-04-2005, 07:17 AM   #4
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Bless your heart ~ I do not have any real advice for you but to get to the doctor and stay there until they give you some answers....this is something that is affecting your everyday life and you need to get something solved asap...
I do hope that you get the help you need soon
I will keep you in my prayers....
HUGS
Shelley
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Old 08-04-2005, 07:18 AM   #5
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Leah,

I would love it if DH would attempt to find out more about what I am going through. He is the epitimy (sp?) of unsupportive! He told me the other night that in order to get to sleep I had to "shut my mind off" How the he** am I supposed to do that? I know he meant nothing by it, but it just goes to show how much he doesn't understand and I have asked him to get knowledge and he just has no desire.

Thank you for your support. I am just exhausted from pretending nothing is wrong and from the entire lack of sleep! I went to bed completely exhausted and still tossed and turned for an hour!

As far as the menopause goes I woke up with my clothes soaked from sweat -- how gross is that!

Trying to wake up so I can go exist at my job.

Thanks a bunch for the kind words and encouragement.
Michele
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Old 08-04-2005, 07:43 AM   #6
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Michele, you are doing the right things. Hang in there and things will get better. Keep in mind your daughter needs you and it is not you she does not like, it is the situation. You have made the step forward to get help, and that step is always the hardest. My daughter just had a hystorectomy also and she is 30. She had lots of problems. Then when she had her hystorectomy, the Dr. pierced her bladder and she had to have another major surgery to have that repaired. but before it could be repaired, she walked around with a cathiter in all last summer. That was her 14th surgery in 10 years. It was very tough on her but this year she seems to be doing so much better. Even though she had to have an emergancy gall bladder surgery a couple of months ago. They have her hormone levels straightened out now and she is back to being my happy daughter again. Things will get better, I could go on with the many problems my daughter had, but you would not want to read through it all. My point is, we all have valley's and we all turn out a better person from them if we take that first BIG step to get help. And you did that. So hang in there and know you are in my thoughts and prayers. You can PM me and chat any time you would like, even if it is just to vent.
Again , hang in there.
You're in my thoughts and prayers
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Old 08-04-2005, 07:48 AM   #7
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Dear Michelle, I'm sorry that DH isn't supportive. He just doesn't know what he doesn't know. I believe in prayer and the God who answers - I am praying for you and your family - that the doctors will figure out your best treatment plan, that you will be able to cope with all that you are going through and that DH will see that he can help or hurt and choose to help. Also, that your daughter will see your efforts and respond kindly.

Difficulty sleeping can wear on every other aspect of you life (health, stamina, irritability, depression, etc.). Perhaps your doctor could focus on this problem first or prescribe medications for your other issues that help you sleep too. Definitely mention this to the doc.

Again, best wishes,
Leah
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Old 08-07-2005, 06:37 PM   #8
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Default Be kind to yourself...

First, be kind to yourself...anyone who's as young as you are to go through a "surgical menopause" is bound to have the symptoms you're experiencing!

I too was thrown into menopause at the age of 34 and let me tell you did I feel things that I would have ever imagined I would! Hormones can really wreck havoc in a young persons life when they are literally turned upside down after a hysterectomy.

My OBGYN put me on a low dose of Premarin and then eventually when I had to go back into surgery to have my remaining ovary removed the very next month...I went on a full course regimen of Premarin.

Still I would not feel like my old self. Feelings of depression crept in and boy did that freak me out since I was a relatively happy upbeat person. I lost interest in alot of things...if you catch my drift! Thank God, I found an Internist who listened to my symptoms one day and suggested adding Estra-test to my hormone replacemtent and whoo-hoo did that help!

If you physician puts you on HRT and/or SSR's, make sure to be steadfast in taking your medication as both kinds of medications must maintain a constant level in your blood to be effective as they are intended.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers for a regimen that will work for you!
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Old 08-07-2005, 06:46 PM   #9
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I am soo sorry to hear about the hard time you are having. Don't be so hard on yourself.......Be patient!!!! It takes time and you WILL get better...Believe that!!!! Maybe you could explain to your daughter that you are not feeling well and it makes you cranky. Keep trying!!!! My thoughts are with you!
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Old 08-08-2005, 08:20 PM   #10
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Smile Mommy Blues

I PM'd you.
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Old 08-09-2005, 02:56 PM   #11
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Michele -

At least you recognize you have a problem and you are trying to get help. Your body has been through a lot. Hormone changes, surgery recovery - and everyone expects you to remain the same after all the physical changes. At least you recognize that you aren't the same and are trying to find the right medication to help.

Keep up your spirits and hope that they will find the right combination soon. Most men aren't very supportive - they just can't relate what you are going through. I found that out after a miscarriage. Like it is over - now get over it the next week.

We are pulling for you and good luck. Your daughter will understand eventually. Good luck on the medication.
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Old 08-11-2005, 03:10 PM   #12
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Don't give up. God is in control. those hormones can just cause problems, problems, problems. Find someone who will listen. I'll listen.
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