Installment #2 of sayings

[StampinOma]

Installment #2 part #1 of sayings post:

Mother-in-law: How lucky we are, how fortunate we've been, that you are his mother, and also my friend

My family eats from the 3 basic food groups: Frozen, Canned and Take Out

You are all we hoped a son-in-law would be - A very special member of our family

Motherhood is not for wimps

If everything is coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane

At my age happy hour is naptime

Every problem has its price, but if you worry about it you pay double

My goal in life is to weigh what my driver's license says I do

Dad - A son's first hero, a daughter's first love

You know you're in trouble when you look like the picture on your driver's license

I never repeat gossip so listen carefully the first time

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps the children in touch

The secret to staying young is to find an age you really like and stick to it

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy

I've been on a diet for two weeks and so far all I've lost is fourteen days

The opinions expressed by the husband of this house are not necessarily those of the management

Count your age by friends not years - Happy Birthday

Life is uncertain, eat dessert first

If this is the first day of the rest of my life, I'm in a lot of trouble

If God had meant us to be thin, He woulnd't have created chocolate

Good times with good friends make the best memories

Laugh and the world laughs with you, Snore and you sleep alone

I'm at the age when the grey-haired person I help across the street is my spouse

Just Say No - Laundry, Dusting, Vacuuming, Working, Housework, Cooking, Cleaning, Ironing

Over the Hill? I don't remember any hill

Never fight with a pig - You'll both get muddy and the pig will love it

I'd like to live life in the fast lane but I'm married to a speed bump

A husband is someone who takes out the trash and give the impression he just cleaned the whole house

If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap

Carrot cake counts as a serving of vegetables

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen

You know you're having a bad day when you feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have

Some people like to spend...others like to save...unfortunately they tend to marry each other

Women don't work as long and hard as men...they do it right the first time

Men make alll the important decisiions...Women decide what's important

Team Effort: A lot of people doing what I say

School days are the happiest days of your life, provided, of course, your kids are old enough to go

Give a man a fish and you can feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you can get rid of him every weekend

The perfect man...he's quiet, he's sweet, and if he gives you any trouble you can just bite off his head (NOTE: With a stamped image of a gingerbread man)

[StampinOma]

Part #2

I'm not bossy - I just have great ideas!

Deadline for all complaints was yesterday

Organized people are just too lazy to look for things

You'll always be my best friend - you know too much

My wife says I never listen to her...at least that's what she said

Historical marker - in this room on June 30, 1971 a marital argument was won by the man of the house

I can always tell a well-informed person, his/her views are the same as mine

The man/woman who can smile when things go wrong has probably thought of someone he/she can blame it on.

The last time I cooked this...hardly anyone got sick

I do my work at the same time each day...the last minute!

I love you more today than yesterday...yesterday you really got on my nerves!

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

When someone you loves becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.

I'm not jogging for health reasons - my thighs rubbed together so much it caught my underwear on fire

Home is where you keep your stuff while you are out getting more stuff

I want it all and I want it delivered

All I ask is that you treat me no differently than you would the queen.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused

And thou shall have dominion over all the beasts - except, of course, for cats

Don't try to get on my good side - I don't have one

Setting a good example for your chiildren takes all the fun out of life

It's not an empty nest until they get all their stuff out of the basement

I've always wanted to be somebody. I guess I just wasnt' specific enough

Be nice to your kids - they pick your nursing home

I love to hear those three little words - let's eat out

Sailing - the fine art of getting wet and becoming ill while slowly going nowhere at great expense

(Golf) If it goes right, it's a slice, if it goes left it's a hook, if it goes straight ita a miracle

(Golf) I usually play golf in the 70's, when it get colder than that, I quite

A good hair stylist is a shear delight

Left-Handers are the only people in their right minds



That's all I've got for now. Hope you find something you can use on cards or something else.

[joybkc]

Thanks for sharing. I have several I need to use already.

[jeaniebean55]

Another good one: My husband said if I bought anymore stamps he'd leave -- I'm really going to miss him!

[happystamper05]

Again, thanks for posting these. I've saved them so I can use them later.

[twyant]

Thank you for these. They are great!

[Japan]

I took the liberty to compile a Word list of all of these funny and clever sayings. I'm sure I'm gonna use one or the other very soon. StampinOma, thanks so much for sharing these!!!

[StampinOma]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Japan

I took the liberty to compile a Word list of all of these funny and clever sayings. I'm sure I'm gonna use one or the other very soon. StampinOma, thanks so much for sharing these!!!

Thank you so much!!! I wasn't sure how to do this and later wished I would have tried so I could make it easier for everyone to read. I really appreciate you do this. I've got some poems that would be nice for Sympathy cards that I might try to post on a pdf for everyone.

[Japan]

Really all I did was to cut and paste everything from your posts into one Word document. I saved it to my hard drive and then attached it to a reply post. P.O.C.

[cincimom]

Thanks Oma and Japan!

[buttons2]

"I'd like to live life in the fast lane but I'm married to a speed bump"

I nearly fell off the chair when I read this one. I was laughing so hard I couldn't read it to my DH.

[alpha]

Very cute! I will be using a few of these. Thanks ladies!

[giasiana]

"I'd like to live life in the fast lane but I'm married to a speed bump"
LOVE THIS...even though I'm single.

I used to say "Ex boyfriends make great speed bumps".
Or "I miss my husband...but my aim is getting better".

[lkirsch]

Thanks to every one who compiled the clever sayings. My mind never seems to come up with anything clever to say in the cards or notes I send to my friends and family. They will think that I suddenly became very clever. LOL