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Old 04-21-2005, 10:13 AM   #1
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Default wedding gift... dorky or cool?

My husband's cousin is getting married (read: we are obligated to attend and give a gift, but rarely see them and don't want to fork over $50 for a nice gift).

I was thinking of stamping a set of 10 cards and matching envelopes with paisley/monograms with their initials.

edited: I added later in the thread that I'm doing a set of 25.

Dorky? Cool?

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Old 04-21-2005, 10:16 AM   #2
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Not Dorky! I think it is nice.
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Old 04-21-2005, 10:16 AM   #3
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That sounds like a nice gift that they could use as "Thank you" Cards later.
I think it's a great idea. They will get all sorts of gifts but I think that would be appreciated a lot. I would appreciate it!!

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Old 04-21-2005, 10:17 AM   #4
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I think that would be very nice MamaK. I did some thank you cards for a friend of mine and she loved them. Everyone loves handstamped cards and if they don't well... I have never met anyone who doesn't. On a side note, I know when I got married my favorite gifts were the ones that you normally don't get. I had a friend get us a laundry basket of cleaning supplies and another friend get us a toolbox full of tools and another one get us two first aid kits, one for the house and one for the car. It's nice when you don't get the typical wedding gift. I say go for it!
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Old 04-21-2005, 10:23 AM   #5
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Not dorky... but maybe up the number to 20 or 25. It is a wedding gift not a shower gift, right?

When is the wedding? Do you have time to make more?

Or if you want to make 10, maybe put them in a nice writing box... we got one at Michaels for my dh grandmother at Christmas. It was only about $15 with coupon - maybe less can't remember. It had frames in it, but we took them out and put in handmade cards from all three of her grandsons and me. We also added a nice pen. She went crazy. It didn't cost us more than $25 but it looked like a LOT more.

Hope that helps... if not no biggie
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Old 04-21-2005, 10:24 AM   #6
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Great gift!

I'm getting married in Sept. Hint! Hint!



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Old 04-21-2005, 10:25 AM   #7
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I think mammaK your artwork in a nice little package would be a wonderful gift. I would enjoy it...maybe incorporate a little of what Sharon was saying above to finish it off.

Mindy
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Old 04-21-2005, 10:30 AM   #8
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Default I would

Getting married in June and I would love to get something besides the typical glass dish or vace! I think you have a great idea!
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Old 04-21-2005, 10:32 AM   #9
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so NOT dorky, so VERY COOL!
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Old 04-21-2005, 10:34 AM   #10
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MamaK -
I know "I" would appreciate such a gift, but there are a lot of people out there that don't "get" it. I probably would do the card set as you are thinking about doing along with monogramed towels or something else that would add about $25 to the gift. Weddings cost so much and even though most brides and grooms don't expect everyone to give a $50 gift, some of their relatives might and I'd hate for some relative on his side or her side to think that what you did wasn't enough.
Just my thoughts . . . .
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Old 04-21-2005, 10:35 AM   #11
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Not dorky. V. cool.

I'm making a dozen thank you notes for a gift for one of the stampers in my group. One uses the couple from Summer by the Sea with thank you from WWI.
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Old 04-21-2005, 10:43 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scrown8301
On a side note, I know when I got married my favorite gifts were the ones that you normally don't get. I had a friend get us a laundry basket of cleaning supplies and another friend get us a toolbox full of tools and another one get us two first aid kits, one for the house and one for the car. It's nice when you don't get the typical wedding gift. I say go for it!
So true, I've been married for over 10 years now and can still remember a few gifts, but only because they were not the ordinary. For one -the ice cream basket with ice cream dishes, scoops, toppings and a grocery gift certificate.

I think the cards sound nice but maybe add a little something to go with it. You can find some pretty nice picture frames for not too much.
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Old 04-21-2005, 11:18 AM   #13
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I think it's a great idea. When a friend got married a couple years ago, I stamped one of the SU frames in her wedding color (very close to Mellow Moss) and put her invitation inside of the frame - the invitation already included a picture of her & her hubby. She LOVED it.
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Old 04-21-2005, 11:42 AM   #14
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coolcoolcool but I agree that maybe upping the amount is a good idea to 20+


and if you really think they might not like them, our initials are D&B W
I PROMISE you they will appreciated here! LOL
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Old 04-21-2005, 04:48 PM   #15
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When my aunt married a few years ago, I gave her a similar gift. I made several kinds of cards, and included 5-6 of each style card. It ended up being about 50 cards altogether. She absolutely loved them, and just sent me one the other day. She said they were one of her favorite gifts. Not bad for a couple hours of fun!

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Old 04-21-2005, 05:04 PM   #16
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okay, I decided to do 25, probably 10 monogram and 15 thank you...

thanks for the input I've nEVER met the bride, so hopefully this is up her alley? I know she's in med school....
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Old 04-21-2005, 05:06 PM   #17
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I think it's a great gift, but I also agree on increasing how many you're making....as a bridal shower gift, I'm making a whole "thank you note survival kit" that includes a personalized desk set, pens, 30 hand made cards (all different designs) and a mini-scrapbook album for the shower that has each page stamped with the same set (IFB)-all she has to do is put the 4 x 6 pics inside.....it's not really costly, but it's incredibly time consuming and quite a gift from the heart....
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Old 04-21-2005, 05:06 PM   #18
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It totally depends on your own little piece of the world. In my world, such a gift would be resented/laughed at and talked about. My world does not appreciate the goodness of homemade cards!! I do, but not my family or colleagues.

My experience is that brides and grooms are getting greedier and greedier!! Everyone expects something from his or her registry or preferably cash. If I were you, I would make the cards, but also include a gift certificate for a dinner out somewhere.

Also, when I give cards as a gift, I now include the postage on the envelope. Just a thought!
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Old 04-21-2005, 05:29 PM   #19
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Smile wedding gift...dorky or cool?

I would really think it wonderful if someone handmade anything for me. I always appreciate the personal gifts the most. I appreciate the time and effort that goes into such special gifts. I hope the new bride appreciates your gift. My daughter is getting married May 21, and I think she would be appreciative. One of her favorite shower gifts was a basket a friend made, and filled with small things. Good luck, Eileen
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Old 04-21-2005, 06:33 PM   #20
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Cool idea. I just sent my SIL a set of thank you cards for a gift. She just had surgery and thought she might be able to use them. One thing I wish I would have thought of sooner was putting some postage stamps in with it. That might be nice for a wedding gift also. For some couples just starting out, money is a little tight and the postage might come in handy - especially since it is getting so expensive!
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Old 04-21-2005, 07:26 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Speedystamper
MamaK -
I know "I" would appreciate such a gift, but there are a lot of people out there that don't "get" it. I probably would do the card set as you are thinking about doing along with monogramed towels or something else that would add about $25 to the gift. Weddings cost so much and even though most brides and grooms don't expect everyone to give a $50 gift, some of their relatives might and I'd hate for some relative on his side or her side to think that what you did wasn't enough.
Just my thoughts . . . .
Not trying to hijack, but I think most people DO expect at least a $50 gift these days. As my 89 year old mother says - what we used to give as wedding gifts are now shower gifts.

Back to the topic - how about a microbeaded pen to write those thank you's and some stamps. And maybe some address labels. Just something to make it more of a complete package
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Old 04-21-2005, 07:40 PM   #22
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I am probably going to get flamed for this, but is 50$ too much to ask? I imagine that the bride and groom are paying more than that for you to attend their reception. If you can't afford the gift, I would decline the invitation and send a smaller gift. I would appreciate the handmade gifts, but i would also feel slighted if I knew that it took someone an hour and 5$ to make my wedding gift.
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Old 04-21-2005, 07:46 PM   #23
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considering that we're driving 14 hours with 2 small children across the country to attend.. my husband is a teacher, I'm a sahm, they didn't send a card after the birth of either of our children.... hmm, yeah, it is a bit much to ask for $50!

I've seen this cousin exactly 3x in my life. DH has obviously seen him much more often, but we're talking 2x/year, we're not talking best friends.

We're actually not attending the wedding, because we didn't want to bring the babies and have them be disruptive.... we're just stopping by the reception....

hope that explains further...
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Old 04-21-2005, 07:47 PM   #24
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oh, and we're going to end up staying in town for awhile, we're not JUST making the 14 hour drive (each way, with the gas prices lately, yikes!) for this wedding alone, it just happens to be the same weekend we're there...
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Old 04-21-2005, 07:50 PM   #25
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sorry if I sounded defensive that's not my intention.... I just wanted feedback.... and I'm happy I asked, because I will definitely up it to 25 cards.
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Old 04-21-2005, 07:52 PM   #26
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Sally, I'm not going to flame you, but I certainly do disagree with you. I wouldn't give anyone a $50 wedding gift unless they were a close friend or family. $25 is more reasonable to me. Especially for someone who doesn't usually keep in touch anyway. And I don't think people should be expected to give a gift equal to the cost of attending the reception. Are they being invited to the reception, or being asked to share in the cost of throwing the party? If that's the case, then maybe the bride and groom shouldn't spend more than they can really afford!

MamaK, I think your gift is a good idea, but I also agree with others who have said to up the number of cards, or make it a whole stationery set with matching pen, box, and maybe even a picture frame or something.
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Old 04-21-2005, 07:56 PM   #27
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I wonder if the price discrepancy depends on the area of the country and the "socioeconomic status" of your family/friends?

I am definitely middle class (probably lower middle class) and midwestern We're talking southern Indiana/Kentucky wedding here....

I remember a friend of mine in Orlando registered for $350 sterling silver baby rattles when she had her baby (and GOT THEM!!) and I was like Umm, yeah, I'd like those gerber cloth baby diapers.....
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Old 04-21-2005, 07:57 PM   #28
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One of the nicest gifts I got at my wedding (and completely remember) was set of hand painted terra cotta pots that nested inside each other and all matched. There were about 4 or 5 and they had matching saucers painted to match. My friend Eva was a 1st grade teacher and was a creative gal. She painted cute simple geometric designs-and each pot was different and I LOVED them. It was absolutely one of my favorite gifts and probably did not cost that much $$$ wise, but I am sure she took quite a long time to paint them. Sadly throughout the years and with our many moves they have all broken, but I still think of how nice it was that she made them.

Another fun idea is a big galvanized tub from the Home Depot or Lowe's. I They run about $10. I got one for a teammate of mine (teaching) and painted and stamped a garden theme around it with acrylics and on the bottom I wrote a little saying
"People that love you are family
A place that you live is your home
Having both is a Blessing"

I filled it with cute cloth napkins, and picnic type items and signed the bottom. Then they could use it as big ice tubs for parties. (I sealed the design so when the bucket would sweat it would stay on there)
I saw her about a year later and she said she used it all the time
You could also fill it with spices, bbq set, and a grill cookbook or something. Still not a ton of money but looks really cute and seems very substantial b/c it is so BIG if that makes any sense! LOL
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Old 04-21-2005, 08:00 PM   #29
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what a cute idea Britta!
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Old 04-21-2005, 08:11 PM   #30
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MamaK, I'm glad you posted this because it's a great idea. One of my friends from college is getting married and I didn't want to just get her something from her registry. What I would be able to afford from her list would look pretty cheesy, but I KNOW she'd love something I made.
Question, though. If I were to make her monogrammed cards, what's the usual etiquette? Her first initial is an S and her married last name initial will be an R. Should I use her first initial or last initial? Or both? I guess if I do the married initial it would be the safest route.
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Old 04-21-2005, 08:19 PM   #31
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Kimberly,
I can totally empathise with you. My first cousin once removed (I think?) is getting married in May. I'm not sure he would know me if he tripped over me in the mall, yet we're expected to go to this wedding. I have only met his fiance' twice... and once was at her shower. I'm not even close to his parents - my cousins. What is one supposed to do? Some people will appreciate handmade gifts and some won't - there is nothing you can do to change that - but you have to feel comfortable with your gift. If that is what you want to give them, who are they to say "that's not good enough". People are so expectant anymore. You should be invited to a wedding because the couple wants you to share in their "big day". Guests should not be seen as gift machines. I think your gift is lovely - although I am glad you decide to up the amount . I hope you have a great time at the wedding... seeing all the family you haven't seen for a while should be fun. Fourteen hours in the car... I don't envy you one bit.

Tricia

Also, I think the amount of the "acceptable" gift is regional, here in DE $50 is nothing...AGHHH
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Old 04-21-2005, 08:23 PM   #32
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If the people might not like handmade gifts (and I should say "APPRECIATE" all the effort) I love "matchy" gifts so I have also done:

A big colander with pasta forks (the big pronged ones to scoop pasta), a bottle of wine, pasta and fancy sauce (I usually get it at Trader Joe's cuz they have cooler sauces) and wrap it up with kitchen towels, depending on the couple and how close, I also will throw in a gift card to a good Italian market close by or coobook.

A "dessert" theme-good cookie sheets (can usually get good ones at Marshall's or home goods for less $$$), nice spatulas, oven mitts, a cookie cookbook, and a jar mix. You can find the jar mix recipes on-line, but at the Amish market near us they are pretty inexpensive. Again depending on teh couple I might throw in a gift card to a grocery store or something like that.

A similar idea to the one I posted above is a grill theme-especially if they are moving int a house with a deck or like to grill out. In a basket I have put a BBQ set, and then gotten different sauces for marinating/grilling (just another reason I *heart* Trader Joe's) and a funky tablecloth, and some cute hard platic plates for outside eating. Also at Marshall's or something like it I have found the veggie grilling baskets or cute citronella candles and a long reach lighter (which they have at our $ store)

It is sad sometimes people do not appreciate handmade gifts, but if I don;t know the couple very well or they don't have a registry these are my "go to" gifts! LOL Plus they are good for shower gifts as well.
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Old 04-21-2005, 10:55 PM   #33
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my favorite gift when i got married was a basket a friend made me. in it she put a bottle of wine, a container of salt, a loaf of bread, a bag of sugar and a poem. i don't remember the poem by heart (it's been several years) but it is still packed away with other remnants of my marriage. basically had a little intro about starting a new life and that each item in the basket was a symbol for what she wished for us--bread that we would never go hungry, sugar that we would experience only sweet things, wine that we would always celebrate each other, and salt...don't recall exactly what that one was for, something about remembering our beginnings i think? anyway, i loved it so much i duplicated it for every friend who got married the year after me!

i think the increased number of cards is a good idea, just because i know i sent out a LOT of cards that first year i was married. but i don't think it is too cheap at all. i know it varies by geographic and social circle--but i'm a firm believer in it being the thought that counts. i didn't expect anything when i got married, i was actually a little embarrassed to even register but decided that was more polite than returning a bunch of items i couldn't/wouldn't use. i considered it gift enough people took the time out of their lives to come to my wedding--especially since so many came from far away and would end up paying for food and lodging when they were in town.
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Old 04-21-2005, 11:39 PM   #34
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I love this idea and was going to do the same thing for the gal that lives across the street from me. I ran out of time and ended up giving her a recipe for blender wheat waffles and the ingredients to make them. Total cost of gift about $10. This is all I could afford since I had just helped another ladie in our neighbor hood do a shower for her. We asked for a list and I was quite floored, sent 70 invites with over 100 included because of daughters. I made the invites. She loved the shower and recieved wonderful things. She also loved what I gave her.

My philosophy is you give what you can afford and what you want to give. If they don't like it, well I guess they have a real problem. I hope they never are tight on money or anthing.

My guess is that she will love it and be so happy to have such beautiful cards to mail without going to all the trouble.

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Old 04-22-2005, 01:49 AM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joan B
My experience is that brides and grooms are getting greedier and greedier!! Everyone expects something from his or her registry or preferably cash. If I were you, I would make the cards, but also include a gift certificate for a dinner out somewhere.
WHY? If MamaK gives into this mentality, isn't she just fanning the flame? I think her gift idea is a great one, as is. I would have loved to have received a gift of handmade thank you cards. We were broke & the cards would have been put to much better use than the ONE SET of bright purple towels that we got from one guest. I mean, really, what couple would use only one towel & washcloth? We couldn't even find a store that had this color so that we could return it!

People are greedy & keep expecting more because we keep trying to out-do each other. That's one reason I quit having parties for my kids. They don't care for them & I was tired of kids asking me for goody bags after they trashed my house!

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Old 04-22-2005, 03:04 AM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by camsmom
I love "matchy" gifts so I have also done:

A big colander with pasta forks (the big pronged ones to scoop pasta), a bottle of wine, pasta and fancy sauce (I usually get it at Trader Joe's cuz they have cooler sauces) and wrap it up with kitchen towels, depending on the couple and how close, I also will throw in a gift card to a good Italian market close by or coobook.

A "dessert" theme-good cookie sheets (can usually get good ones at Marshall's or home goods for less $$$), nice spatulas, oven mitts, a cookie cookbook, and a jar mix. You can find the jar mix recipes on-line, but at the Amish market near us they are pretty inexpensive. Again depending on teh couple I might throw in a gift card to a grocery store or something like that.

A similar idea to the one I posted above is a grill theme-especially if they are moving int a house with a deck or like to grill out. In a basket I have put a BBQ set, and then gotten different sauces for marinating/grilling (just another reason I *heart* Trader Joe's) and a funky tablecloth, and some cute hard platic plates for outside eating. Also at Marshall's or something like it I have found the veggie grilling baskets or cute citronella candles and a long reach lighter (which they have at our $ store)
I have done this kind of thing too. To me it is nice when someone puts some thought into your gift. But that is just my opinion. I posted earlier that one of the things I liked most from my wedding was a laundry basket with cleaning supplies, an tool box with tools and first aid kits. Well we liked these because they weren't the usual gifts. These wondeful people who gave them to us wanted to get us something that we wouldn't normally get. It was great. Of course I do agree that some people just don't appreciate that kind of thing and that there is nothing you can do about it. I am sure it will be great MamaK.
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Old 04-22-2005, 03:05 AM   #37
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Oh and a side note. All this talk about your cards, will you pretty please post a picture of them when you get them done. I think they sound really nice.
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Old 04-22-2005, 03:19 AM   #38
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Sounds great Kimberly! I agree about increasing the number. You could emboss the monograms with gold to make them look more expensive. Or the matching set thing is a great idea too.

Getting that kinda stuff made at Hallmark or whatever is soooo expensive. Any bride should know that if she had her invitations made. So she'll appreciate the gift that much more.
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Old 04-22-2005, 03:22 AM   #39
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[QUOTE=mamakimberly]I wonder if the price discrepancy depends on the area of the country and the "socioeconomic status" of your family/friends?
QUOTE]

I think you hit the nail on the head Kimberly Our wedding gifts range from $100 - $250 depending on who is getting married. And that is about the same that we got for ours. I have noticed that as friends have move around the country and got married in different states that "gifts" are different. One of my BF's got married elsewhere and the gifts from the people in the area she moved too were about 1/2 of what the gifts from the people in the area she grew up were. She was grateful for all of them and never made a comment to me but that is just one thing I noticed as I helped her sort things out for her thank you lists.

I think if you are only stopping by the reception that the cards are a great idea I would love to have gotten them at our wedding!
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Old 04-22-2005, 04:43 AM   #40
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I agree with all the expectations people have - last shower I went to - daughter of an aquantance - I have no idea how they would get all the stuff from the shower(s) in their place. What was left to get them for a wedding but money?
People are registering for their honeymoons and mortgage payments for crying out loud. I am officially old cause I believe if you cannot afford it don't get it.
My expectations when I got married - well, I never expected to get married, to begin with - had a $15.00 dress, reception in the basement of our house and no honeymoon. Actually got up the next day and baked a cake and had everyone over for a birthday party for my stepson.

That said - I LOVE the gold embossing idea - If you have, or can borrow the Classic Caps set they look absolutely lovely embossed and you could layer some paper under the letter. This works only is she is changing her last name and/or if the letter is the same if she is isn't ( I lucked out there).
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