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Old 04-22-2005, 04:46 AM   #41
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Anyone can run out and buy a gift. It takes thought and time to sit down and make something. Not dorky AT ALL!
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Old 04-22-2005, 05:27 AM   #42
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My favorite wedding gift of all time was a lamp with a cut and pierced shade that the giver made herself. That is now my standard gift at weddings. I can get an inexpensive lamp for about $10 at the Christmas Tree Shop and add a beautifully handmade shade for $15 or less. You could do this for just $10 if you wanted by stamping on the lampshade that comes with the lamp. If you are lucky, you can even find a trapezoidal lampshade so that the surfaces are flat and easier to stamp on. It doesn't take much to dress them up.
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Old 04-22-2005, 05:51 AM   #43
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This is a great idea, but have you thought of adding a stamp pad and name/address personalized stamp? Personally, the hand-stamped cards are a wonderful gift, but I think you need to add a little more (I give packs of 10 cards/envies for visiting someone in the hospital, birthday gifts, etc.). You could put these all in a little (inexpensive) basket and wrap with celephane and ribbon. Cute!! You'd still be way under $50!
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Old 04-22-2005, 05:52 AM   #44
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This is just my 2 cents but-

When dh and I got married I did not, did not want to register. (I did for the sake of his family and a few of ours that were stumped by the not registered thing) Most of the stuff I registered for was simple Items like towels, bathmats, glassware, you know lower cost items.

The reason I did not want to register was because I didn't want anyone to feel like they HAD to bring a gift. I really wanted them there just to share in the moment.

If someone had taken the time to make a set of cards for us I would have greatly appreaciated it. It takes more heart/soul to make something than it does to buy something. It's the greatest gift of all to give something that you took the time to make.

(As it turned out for our wedding we ended up eloping, long story short dh is a great guy and gave his leave to someone in dire need. So i flew out to be with him and elope)
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Old 04-22-2005, 06:01 AM   #45
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There are some great gift ideas here. I have saved them on my computer for future reference.

One of my favorite and most memorable wedding gifts was a cookie jar filled with homemade cookies from one of my Aunt's. Mmm, those were good cookies. I thought it a very thoughtful gift. I really don't remember many other gifts.

I agree people today are getting very greedy. I know people have opened gifts and envelopes and made snide remarks about how little $ was spent. In those cases, my thought is, you're lucky to have gotten anything. After all, of those hundreds of wedding invitations sent out, how many of those people do they really know or really know them? Few. When I am invited to showers or weddings of people I don't even know, I choose not to attend. I think it is weird.
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Old 04-22-2005, 06:41 AM   #46
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I don't think it is dorky at all.

DH's uncle is getting married in June, and their combined income has got to be well over 400,000 a year, and I know that they can buy far more than I ever could. So I just decided that since I wouldn't be able to inpress them with my money, I am going to try and make a few candles and maybe some cards to go with them.
BTW, I wonder how many stamps I could buy on that kind of an income
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Old 04-22-2005, 06:44 AM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ILLINI! Stamper
This is a great idea, but have you thought of adding a stamp pad and name/address personalized stamp?
That's a great idea, unless they move around a lot.
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Old 04-22-2005, 08:51 AM   #48
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Given that she's in med school, what about some nice birthday and anniversary cards? She'd probably really appreciate them, because she I'm sure she has no time to shop. (You could even include a note letting her know that she can call you for another "set" of thank yous or birthday cards at a later date, but you weren't sure what she'd use most.) That'd free up some of your time (since I'm SURE you can lay hands on 10 random birthday cards) and still bump up the value. I personally think it's a wonderful gift! I'd love for someone to have done that for me!

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Old 04-22-2005, 09:33 AM   #49
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One of my favorite wedding gifts was a Deluxe Scrabble game. Donna
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Old 04-22-2005, 09:46 AM   #50
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I think it is a terrific idea! Believe me, the bride will have almost no spare time at all to do anything (medical school is one of the most grueling and expensive things you can possible do!) She will appreciate having beautiful handmade cards to give out to her family and friends! I think a few monogrammed ones and then an assortment of all occasion cards, including birthday, thank you, friendship, thinking of you and some masculine cards is a wonderful idea! She'll love it!

One of my very favorite gifts was an inexpensive recipe box that almost all of the women of my dad's church (he was a minister) fillled with hand-written favorite recipes! I don't still have the box, but I have every single one of the recipes and have used many of them! A very thoughtful, but inexpensive gift.
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Old 04-22-2005, 09:59 AM   #51
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I would personally love your gift. But like someone else said, I would only give it if I knew the person would appreciate it.
I had to do a double take on the amount that people give. I guess it really is more expensive to live in the Northeast. Bridal shower gifts are generally $50 and up. I have never heard of anyone going to a wedding and not giving at least $100/couple, but usually more.
I have to be honest that I kept a list of what everyone gave me to make sure that I give at least the same. My cousin is getting married in Oct and he gave us $250! And he didn't come with a guest. But he will be one exception b/c I don't feel like I should give more than I can afford. Nor should anyone else!
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Old 04-22-2005, 10:05 AM   #52
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I have not read all of the posts, so I hope I'm not repeating...
I think it would be really cool to make a pair of monogrammed handtowels to match the cards. That would up the "value" a lot without upping the price too much.
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Old 04-22-2005, 10:34 AM   #53
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Home made cards are a great idea and taking the other's suggestions and putting them in a nice box or something is awesome! The idea of the stamped frame with their wedding invitation is a great idea too. I think that anything that comes from the heart, regardless of the price means so much. My friend Shelley, who was broke when I got married, got me an egg cutter (to cut hard boiled eggs) and I still have it and I think of her everytime I use it. It probably only cost $10 but it just didn't seem to matter.
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Old 04-22-2005, 10:54 AM   #54
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I think it's a great idea. I would also add a picture frame, scrapbook, pen or nice box. You could stamp a box to package the cards in that could later be used to hold wedding momentos?? Maybe get a photo box and stamp/embellish. Then add a cute pen and your cards on the inside? That's a gift I would love!
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Old 04-22-2005, 11:44 AM   #55
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I think you have it figured out! It sounds great to me!

I did a fun thing for my friend who just got married. I filled 3 organdy bags with goodies. 1st one had chocolate Hug and Kisses, on the tag it said: Heal it with Hugs and Kisses. 2nd one was filled with chocolate Treasures and the tag said: Treasure one another. The 3rd one was filled with pennies and the tag said: Trust in God (Because on a penny it says IN GOD WE TRUST)

One of my favorite gifts from my wedding was a roll/book of stamps! Very practical BUT helpful and appreciated.

You need to give what you feel comfortable giving. They should be very thankful and happy you were able to share their special day with them. It meant a lot to me when I saw people I invited that I hardly ever saw! I thought it was great that they took time to be with us!
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Old 04-22-2005, 01:31 PM   #56
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I think the idea of the handmade cards is a wonderful idea! I really like to give something unusual and NOT on the registry, but something that is useful and practical.

My standard wedding gift the last few years is to make up a "gift wrap center". I get one of the long underbed storage containers and then put in rolls of different occasions gift wrap (birthday, baby, children's birthday, masculine birthday, wedding, shower, etc), scissors, ribbon, tape, gift bags, tissue paper, etc. Then I include a variety of homemade gift enclosure cards with envelopes. I usually include a small container that the scissors, tape, etc. goes into inside the underbed storage container. You can add as much or as little of each item, depending on how much you want to spend. If it's for someone that I am close to, I will make up 2 of them, one for everyday occasions and one for Christmas. I try to get as much of it at the dollar stores that I can. Everyone that I have given these to have been very excited because everything they need to wrap a gift is included in one place. I enjoy putting it together and it is something that I don't have to worry about them getting more than one of. And, after all, who doesn't need gift wrapping supplies!
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Old 04-22-2005, 02:47 PM   #57
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The oddest (and prolly my favorite) gift we got when DH and I got married was a gallon jug of olive oil. It was from one of my husband's male friends, so it wasn't even wrapped. It was just, like, here's a huge bottle of olive oil!

But then I started thinking about it, and how much more useful that is than a set of dish towels or something! I swear, it took us several years to use all of that up! Every time I'd pour out of the bottle I'd think of this guy and just totally crack up.

Same guy gave us a carton of 48 packs of hot chocolate mix for Christmas the next year! Have to say, I've used that same gift idea a couple times since and everyone's always loved it.

Sweetest gift we got for our wedding was a Crate & Barrel wine rack. You know the ones that are put together with wood dowels? Anyway, we opened it up and I thought, oh what a nice gift. But my husband is kinda quiet. He tells me that this couple, two of his best friends in the entire world, gave us something out of their own house. They had hit upon some really harsh financial times and had no money for a gift. So they found one of the nicest items they had in their house and wrapped it up for us.
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Old 04-22-2005, 05:24 PM   #58
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I'm with NJ Devil and Joan B. In the northeast, people generally give a gift of cash that is equal to the cost of the dinner (x 2). A "cheap" wedding dinner goes for about $75-$100. So........ that's $150-$200 gift for a married couple attending a wedding! Sometimes it pays to decline and just send a gift. Then you can send whatever you want!
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Old 04-22-2005, 05:37 PM   #59
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I think she will see the cards, love them, and sign up under you!!!!!!!

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Old 04-22-2005, 05:54 PM   #60
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Quote:
Originally Posted by solrbunny
I'm with NJ Devil and Joan B. In the northeast, people generally give a gift of cash that is equal to the cost of the dinner (x 2). A "cheap" wedding dinner goes for about $75-$100. So........ that's $150-$200 gift for a married couple attending a wedding! Sometimes it pays to decline and just send a gift. Then you can send whatever you want!
Wow, if it were like that around here I could never afford to go to a wedding. I live in Mississippi and people will pretty much give you anything. My favorite things had nothing to do with money. Our church has a lot of Widowed ladies, that are on fixed incomes in tiny houses. One gave me a crocheted doily, I know it had to be one of hers personally, because she has authritis really bad and cant hold a needle anymore. Another invited me to her home for a meal. One gave me a nighty (but I think her grandaughter did the shoping for her) They are such sweet ladies, and I believe that a gift from the heart is much better than any store bought gift.

I think your cards will be great! I would not feel the need to add to it either.

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Old 04-23-2005, 01:30 AM   #61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aeweaver
Sweetest gift we got for our wedding was a Crate & Barrel wine rack. You know the ones that are put together with wood dowels? Anyway, we opened it up and I thought, oh what a nice gift. But my husband is kinda quiet. He tells me that this couple, two of his best friends in the entire world, gave us something out of their own house. They had hit upon some really harsh financial times and had no money for a gift. So they found one of the nicest items they had in their house and wrapped it up for us.
i'm not a sappy kind of girl but that totally made me wanna cry. i know, i'm a dork.
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Old 04-23-2005, 06:57 AM   #62
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I think your gift would be great and echo that to put it in a package would only add to the "WOW" factor. Sometimes big is not always better. The most used gift from our wedding was a pan to cook meatloaf in from my great aunt and in our home it is called the "Aunt Allie pan".
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Old 04-23-2005, 07:27 AM   #63
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Kimberly,
WOW! You sure know how to stir things up huh!!

I think that your idea of a few cards is great! I would do 10 or so and add a pen and put in a nice box...

If you do not want to handstamp something (takes time and all) I like Britta's ideas of "gift baskets" - my Aunt does them all the time and they are a huge hit! (actually shes doing one for the girls that my cousin is graduating with this year and giving them at the going away party this weekend) She did one for my sister for her wedding (we are from the south too please keep this in mind!) it was in a nice clothes basket (never can have too many of those!) she added some things like hangers, laundry soap, measuring cups, cutting board...gosh I can not recall the rest but you could easily do a basket type gift for $15-20

I have not attended any of my cousins wedding and have pitched in some $ on a gift that my mother has purchaed then she calls it a "family gift from all of us"!

Good luck and let us know what you decide!
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Old 04-23-2005, 07:35 AM   #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by solrbunny
I'm with NJ Devil and Joan B. In the northeast, people generally give a gift of cash that is equal to the cost of the dinner (x 2). A "cheap" wedding dinner goes for about $75-$100. So........ that's $150-$200 gift for a married couple attending a wedding! Sometimes it pays to decline and just send a gift. Then you can send whatever you want!
You know, I've been kinda following this thread, but was hesitant to post, but I was starting to think that I was the only person that gave the way we do. But I guess it really just the tradition/culture of the NE weddings. I'm with NJ Devil and Joan B on the giving amounts and the fact that we give cash gifts. We never give non-cash gifts b/c everyone here registers as a rule, and everything is always bought up from the bridal shower (from my experience, we have showers where all the women are invited -so they can be pretty big). Right now, I'm making 70 shower invites for a friend, and I did 100 for my SIL just this past fall!

But I do have to say that DH and I give the same levels even if the wedding we are going to is not in the NE (I would never want to think that any family member or close friend deserves a smaller gift from me just because they don't live in the NE no matter what kind of a wedding they have - black tie vs casual backyard). We've been to family and friends' weddings in all parts fo the country and have seen the whole range of receptions. I can definitely see all the views (giving handmade gifts vs cash gifts of varying amounts)... I guess like someone said earlier in the thread somewhere, it ultimately all depends on what you are used to and what you are comfortable with doing. I have really liked reading this thread, b/c its interesting to see what everyone's favorite gifts are and why. Opens up you perspective!
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Old 04-23-2005, 08:23 AM   #65
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Mammakim,
It's funny that you mentioned being middle class and the wedding being Southern Indiana/Kentucky; it must be somewhere near my hometown! I went to Western Kentucky University in Bowling Green and my family is in Southern Indiana (Evansville) and are definatley what I would call middle class. They're all very good, genuine people with big hearts and small wallets! My sisters and I were all married in Evansville and I have to say that most of the gifts were crockpots, wafflemakers, breadmachines, or something from the gift registry at Target. If someone spent $50 on a wedding gift for us, we were VERY grateful. The largest gift we got was $300 from our Grandfather and Grandmother, which they saved up from their social security checks over several months each time.

I went away to college, met my DH who went on to get his PhD and we are now at a much different socio-economic level and for friends or acquaintances out here in Pennsylvania, we do give gifts around the $100 level when invited to a wedding. When my cousin was married back in Evansville, though, we got her some Pfalzgraff dishes from her registry that amounted to about $75 because while we wanted to get her a nice gift, we didn't want to seem like the show-off cousins from out east.

It can be a really tough decision with some of these invitiations...you're kind of damned if you do and damned if you don't! But personally, I think your idea is wonderful. I agree that it would be nice to put it in a nice gift box and include some postage...very thoughtful. If this couple is from that area, I really doubt that they'll be expecting you to spend a fortune on them. And if they don't appreciate such a thoughtful gift, they don't deserve your concern anyway!

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Old 04-23-2005, 08:29 AM   #66
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This is kind of hard, because only YOU know what is customary for your family and lifestyles. That said, if I was going to the reception, I would give a larger gift.

I do think handmade items are precious, but, let's face it, not everybody feels the same way. I think it might be looked at as chintzy. I'm just trying to honestly give you my opinion, because you were looking for input, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings; I even hesitated posting. Because again, only you really know what is customary. But I think that if you felt the need to ask, you might be having some doubts yourself.

If I did give notecards as a wedding gift, I would definitely supplement it with a pretty address book, a nice pen (not a BIC), a book or roll of stamps, and wrap it all in a pretty re-usable box or basket. Presentation would be important for a gift like this.
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Old 04-23-2005, 08:30 AM   #67
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thanks guys! this has developed into a very interesting thread

I'm glad everyone popped in with input

Tami: dh's family is all from New Albany area.... he grew up in Lanesville.
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Old 04-23-2005, 09:13 AM   #68
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LOL!! To think I ignored this thread for a while because "why would I be interested in someone else's wedding gift?" Finally I had to read and see why it was so popular... and I'm glad I did! This has been very interesting reading. $100 - $250 wedding gifts? Whew! Sure makes me glad I live in a rural, country-ish city!

I totally agree, Kimberly, that the price range of expected wedding gifts depend on where you live. And it is so easy for someone who can afford a $100 - $200 gift to say that a homemade gift is cheap. You know, the longer I live, the more I realize that you just can't live your life by other people's standards. I think 20 beautiful, handmade cards is a very thoughtful and wonderful gift that I would LOVE to receive! But, of course, your dh's cousin and wife may not think so. Or they may be touched and thrilled - who knows? But as another poster said, if someone does not appreciate a gift - any kind of gift - it is that person's problem, not yours.

Enjoy your 14 hour drive with 2 little kids! You're very brave - even the 4 hour drive to visit my dh's family is enough to drive me bonkers!

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Old 04-23-2005, 09:20 AM   #69
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I was just making lunch and realized, my $150 set of Target pots and pans was purchased by all *5* of dh's aunts as a wedding gift! They all went together to buy it!

LOL!
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Old 04-23-2005, 09:54 AM   #70
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i say it is a wonderful gift! people have gotten greedy over the years. when i had my wedding reception, i just wanted people to show up and celebrate. gifts are nice, but spending time with my family and friends is better. i didn't even invite my cousins because i never see them.
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Old 04-23-2005, 07:32 PM   #71
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I know it sounds cheap, but you could always add some matching candles. Most women love them, even if their men don't.LOL
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Old 04-23-2005, 07:32 PM   #72
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I think the cards are a great idea, because that's what I do! Especially if the couple are just acquaintances. I cannot imagine spending the kind of money on wedding gifts that everyone is talking about here. Number 1, it's ridiculous, and number 2, we cannot afford it. It makes me upset that people "expect" to receive a gift worth a certain amount. That kind of takes away the meaning of "gift", doesn't it? I invited people to my wedding because I wanted them there, not because I expected anything from them. My husband and I were very grateful for everything we got, expensive or cheap. But there are a lot of greedy, selfish people out there.

Something else that bothers me is not receiving a thank you card for a wedding gift. My husband and I both have full-time jobs, but we took a few evenings and weekends and just got them done. I would feel really bad about facing people knowing I hadn't written them a thank you note.
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Old 04-23-2005, 07:56 PM   #73
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Default wedding gift... dorky or cool?

I have been reading this thread off and on for awhile and finally decided to jump in. I, too, agree that people shouldn't "expect" such expensive gifts as some have mentioned here. I totally agree with what beccabatgirl has said.
Now I will tell you what my daughter did when she got married. Instead of registering anyplace, she asked on her invitations that if people wanted to give a gift, to please send a donation in her and her new husband's name to a cancer center in Seattle. Her husband is a cancer survivor and this is what was important to them. I was so proud of her for this decision.
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