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Old 04-06-2017, 09:55 AM   #1
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Default Sympathy Cards, Masculine or Feminine?

When you make a sympathy card, do you design it in honor of the person who died, or for the person who is receiving it? For example, in the case of husband and wife, if the husband died, would your card be more masculine in honor of him, or more feminine for his wife? Just curious, as I tend to overthink things
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Old 04-06-2017, 10:32 AM   #2
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I don't make them gender specific, I mainly stay with subtle flowers or a simple background stamp but I am sure that any card showing support will be received with gratitude.
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Old 04-06-2017, 11:42 AM   #3
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Like Jukie, mine tend to be fairly neutral, mostly because I think they're the type of images that lend themselves to sympathy cards rather than because I'm side-stepping the gender issue. I might use something like a silhouette flower or a dragonfly, for example where I'd be unlikely to use a detailed flower or a butterfly. I guess calming colours are ones that are often on seen as being on the "masculine" end of the spectrum but there's nothing inherently masculine about soft greens and blues which is where I'd usually end up.
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Old 04-07-2017, 04:54 AM   #4
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I make mine geared more in honor of the deceased. Generally flowers for a female and maybe a water scene or themed toward what they liked to do such as hunting, fishing, golf, farming, etc. for the men.
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Old 04-07-2017, 05:49 AM   #5
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I hadn't thought about it, but it seems mine are mostly a neutral outdoor scene. If I wanted to personalize it, I would likely do so for the person receiving it since they are the person I am trying to encourage.
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Old 04-07-2017, 10:29 AM   #6
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I almost always gear mine towards the person who died, if I knew the person. So if they were a man who loved fishing it will probably include a fishing theme. If I didn't know the person or their interests I will make it more generic. My thinking is that even though I am sending my thoughts to the family, I want them to know I remember their loved one as well. I don't think you can go wrong sending a sympathy card. It is just important to send a card. (something I need to remind myself of frequently)
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Old 04-07-2017, 11:03 AM   #7
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I tend to go for simple cards in this instance, as I don't think overly fussy would be appropriate. Neither would bold, in your face colours. Neutrals, pale pastels etc is where I'd aim. Maybe a few white small flowers. One of my favourites for this at the moment are the TH Mixed Media dies, cut from white or cream, then the die cut backed with a neutral colour. Stamped sentiment and that's it.

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Old 04-07-2017, 11:34 AM   #8
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I think mine tend to go made with the people left behind, but they are also on the simple side too.
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Old 04-07-2017, 12:29 PM   #9
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I tend to make a card that will remind the living of the person departed or a card that is gender neutral if I did not know the deceased well...rarely will I make a card geared toward the person receiving it i.e. feminine for the widow...only if they are a very close friend or family
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Old 04-07-2017, 04:14 PM   #10
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I make mine to reflect the interests or background of the person who died; to me , this is a way of honoring that person.
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Old 04-07-2017, 05:50 PM   #11
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Quote:

Originally Posted by shazsilverwolfView Post
I tend to go for simple cards in this instance, as I don't think overly fussy would be appropriate. Neither would bold, in your face colours. Neutrals, pale pastels etc is where I'd aim. Maybe a few white small flowers. One of my favourites for this at the moment are the TH Mixed Media dies, cut from white or cream, then the die cut backed with a neutral colour. Stamped sentiment and that's it.

Shaz, I just love this card so much. You inspired me to get the TH dies. They have them at Walmart for only $9.46 today and will ship to my store free!
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Old 04-08-2017, 01:30 PM   #12
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I am afraid my answer was so long I erased it.

That's b/c it is very conditional based on my relationship with the deceased and the bereaved, and there are a lot of variations there.

If I do something specialized I would talk about why-it is their fav color, we used to have a good time doing this (ie fishing), the person loved to do X. But most important to me is to say good things about the person if possible.

If I dont know them well-like a co worker, then I keep it neutral.
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Old 04-08-2017, 06:04 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by wavejumperView Post
I am afraid my answer was so long I erased it.

That's b/c it is very conditional based on my relationship with the deceased and the bereaved, and there are a lot of variations there.

If I do something specialized I would talk about why-it is their fav color, we used to have a good time doing this (ie fishing), the person loved to do X. But most important to me is to say good things about the person if possible.

If I dont know them well-like a co worker, then I keep it neutral.
You make very good points, Wave. If you had/have a relationship with the deceased, or bereaved, it is lovely to add a personal touch to the card.


I do want to encourage everyone that the most important thing, in my opinion, is that old saying: it's the thought that counts.


Whatever kind of sympathy card you send, simple, elaborate, personal, or neutral, I know from my own personal experience that every card is appreciated at these sad times in our lives.
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Old 04-09-2017, 07:22 AM   #14
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Sympathy cards are not easy to think about. They are so important though....
I like to make non-gender specific cards for sympathy. Trees are super sympathy subjects. Soft subtle color tones, simple patterns and a nice sympathy statement. When I know the deceased, I do try to add a little tiny something that I feel says something about them. If I don't know the deceased, then I keep the card elegant but simple.
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Old 04-09-2017, 08:06 AM   #15
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I totally agree Bugga. It is the thought that counts.

I also think it can be hard to do a card if you knew the parties. You are grieving yourself. I could easily see myself crying while making.
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Old 04-09-2017, 08:21 AM   #16
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I tend to make gender specific as well but I have made several of these and have them on hand, when I need them. I copied the idea from a Penny Black video...
Attached Thumbnails
sympathy1.jpg   sympathy2-2-.jpg  
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Old 04-09-2017, 09:50 PM   #17
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Wow! Thanks to all of you for responding. You have given me lots of good opinions and options. I totally agree that a card can mean so much. I know how I cherished each and every one sent to me when my parents died. Shaz and cheermom, your cards are beautiful! You all have given me some wonderful ideas!
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Old 04-11-2017, 04:24 AM   #18
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I was just thinking about this. My husband's uncle's wife just passed away, and I want to send a card. I make the card with the recipient in mind, so mine will be a calm beach scene with the "tide" sentiment from Seaside Stampin' Ink.




It would just be strange to send him a card with flowers. It's so not him, and it wasn't really her thing either.
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Old 04-11-2017, 05:26 AM   #19
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Buggainok, happy to have enabled, lol. But seriously, I'm loving these dies for making an assortment of cards, I have a whole bunch going up on my blog at the moment-just by changing what you back the die cut with, they make birthday/new home/get well/ congratulations. I love versatility in my purchases!
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Old 04-11-2017, 08:16 AM   #20
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Quote:

Originally Posted by ScrapjannyView Post
I was just thinking about this. My husband's uncle's wife just passed away, and I want to send a card. I make the card with the recipient in mind, so mine will be a calm beach scene with the "tide" sentiment from Seaside Stampin' Ink.




It would just be strange to send him a card with flowers. It's so not him, and it wasn't really her thing either.
So sorry you need such a card. I am sure the card you create will bring comfort {HUGS}


That is one of my "go to" sentiments for sympathy cards. I usually use soft shades of pearlescent or metallic paper/ink.


My other "go to" sentiment is attributed as an Eskimo proverb about stars being openings in the sky for their loved ones to let them know that they are happy. It's part of this set by Technique Junkies:


With Sympathy, Set of 5 - Technique Junkies
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Old 04-11-2017, 03:31 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by TeeGeeDeeView Post
So sorry you need such a card. I am sure the card you create will bring comfort {HUGS}


That is one of my "go to" sentiments for sympathy cards. I usually use soft shades of pearlescent or metallic paper/ink.


My other "go to" sentiment is attributed as an Eskimo proverb about stars being openings in the sky for their loved ones to let them know that they are happy. It's part of this set by Technique Junkies:


With Sympathy, Set of 5 - Technique Junkies
We are so much alike, Tina. That's the other sympathy sentiment I have and love.
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Old 04-12-2017, 07:10 AM   #22
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The sentiment from this stamp set, Love & Sympathy is my go-to for the inside of a card.
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Old 04-12-2017, 08:48 AM   #23
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Jill with a GView Post
Sympathy cards are not easy to think about. They are so important though....
I like to make non-gender specific cards for sympathy. Trees are super sympathy subjects. Soft subtle color tones, simple patterns and a nice sympathy statement. When I know the deceased, I do try to add a little tiny something that I feel says something about them. If I don't know the deceased, then I keep the card elegant but simple.
Same here. I generally have some with religious verses and others with non-religious verses. If I know the recipient is religious I will use that, or if I don't know I will use non-religious.

While it's hard to make sympathy cards, IME I've found they are the most appreciated.
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Old 04-12-2017, 03:09 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by annie*View Post
I almost always gear mine towards the person who died, if I knew the person. So if they were a man who loved fishing it will probably include a fishing theme. If I didn't know the person or their interests I will make it more generic. My thinking is that even though I am sending my thoughts to the family, I want them to know I remember their loved one as well. I don't think you can go wrong sending a sympathy card. It is just important to send a card. (something I need to remind myself of frequently)
This is interesting. I always gear my card design toward the grieving person I'm sending the card to, but I like this idea of remembering the person who died.
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Old 04-12-2017, 08:02 PM   #25
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My feeling is that you are expressing sympathy for the people left behind so the card is intended for them - eg. I made one for a male friend of mine whose mother passed away recently so I made it quite masculine (see here: CASEing Brenda's Sympathy Card by susanbri - Cards and Paper Crafts at Splitcoaststampers) - it would have seemed odd to me to send him a feminine floral type of card.

I have a couple of quite unusual sympathy sentiments that I will only use if it suits both the deceased and the person I am sending the card to. See these two:

Sympathy on Embossing Folder Stamping by susanbri - Cards and Paper Crafts at Splitcoaststampers

They Are Not Stars by susanbri - Cards and Paper Crafts at Splitcoaststampers

I wouldn't use either of these for people I don't know very well.

So bottom line - it all depends!!
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Old 04-13-2017, 05:21 AM   #26
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Unfortunately, I have been the recipient of many sympathy cards recently as my Navy son died last Fall. My many cardmaker friends were mixed in this regard. Try to do long story short. Christmas 2015 Ben wasn't able to come home for Christmas because of the Navy so I asked my friends on another message board to send him cards, which they did and they all knew how much he loved penguins since I made penguin cards for him all the time. Believe it or not, penguins can make beautiful sympathy cards when they are directed to specific people. Others made cards referencing his Service, cards toward me as mom losing my son and others general sympathy cards.

Side note: When my son's belongings were sent home to me he still had every card I had made and sent to him and all the Christmas cards my friends had handmade for him. He had only saved the handmade cards he had received, no others. My son, Ben, was 26 and a wonderful, loving son who obviously thought more of mom's "obsession" than he ever let me know.
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Old 04-13-2017, 06:18 AM   #27
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Pennydouph, I am so very sorry about your son. Thank you so much for sharing your story of him and his service. We can tell he was a very special young man, and I know it meant so much to you to know he saved all those handmade cards. Thank you again for telling your story...it means a lot.
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Old 04-13-2017, 11:41 AM   #28
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Unfortunately, I have been the recipient of many sympathy cards recently as my Navy son died last Fall. My many cardmaker friends were mixed in this regard. Try to do long story short. Christmas 2015 Ben wasn't able to come home for Christmas because of the Navy so I asked my friends on another message board to send him cards, which they did and they all knew how much he loved penguins since I made penguin cards for him all the time. Believe it or not, penguins can make beautiful sympathy cards when they are directed to specific people. Others made cards referencing his Service, cards toward me as mom losing my son and others general sympathy cards.

Side note: When my son's belongings were sent home to me he still had every card I had made and sent to him and all the Christmas cards my friends had handmade for him. He had only saved the handmade cards he had received, no others. My son, Ben, was 26 and a wonderful, loving son who obviously thought more of mom's "obsession" than he ever let me know.
I choked up while reading this. Sending you hugs. What a wonderful story.
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Old 04-13-2017, 04:03 PM   #29
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Pennydouph, I am so sorry for your loss. Your son sounds like a very loving and caring young man, and I'm sure you're very proud of him. I'm grateful for his service.
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Old 04-13-2017, 05:26 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by shazsilverwolfView Post
Buggainok, happy to have enabled, lol. But seriously, I'm loving these dies for making an assortment of cards, I have a whole bunch going up on my blog at the moment-just by changing what you back the die cut with, they make birthday/new home/get well/ congratulations. I love versatility in my purchases!
I just got my set of dies and I'm heading to your blog for inspiration. Thank you!
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Old 04-14-2017, 05:37 PM   #31
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I use Ivory, white or grey card stock for sympathy cards.
No embellishment just a nature stamp image..
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Old 05-05-2017, 12:21 PM   #32
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Unfortunately, I have been the recipient of many sympathy cards recently as my Navy son died last Fall. My many cardmaker friends were mixed in this regard. Try to do long story short. Christmas 2015 Ben wasn't able to come home for Christmas because of the Navy so I asked my friends on another message board to send him cards, which they did and they all knew how much he loved penguins since I made penguin cards for him all the time. Believe it or not, penguins can make beautiful sympathy cards when they are directed to specific people. Others made cards referencing his Service, cards toward me as mom losing my son and others general sympathy cards.

Side note: When my son's belongings were sent home to me he still had every card I had made and sent to him and all the Christmas cards my friends had handmade for him. He had only saved the handmade cards he had received, no others. My son, Ben, was 26 and a wonderful, loving son who obviously thought more of mom's "obsession" than he ever let me know.
Being the mom of a Marine son, my heart goes out to you. I write this with tears pouring down my face as I remember the numerous times I felt the worry and fear during the long years our son spent in harm's way and how much I dreaded going through what you are. There are no words to to express my sorrow and ease your grief, but know that you are on my mind and in my heart. Please know how much his services and your sacrifice are appreciated.
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