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Old 10-04-2006, 04:35 AM   #1
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Default signing cards from husband and wife?

Hi all, so my darling husband complained to me last night after I had signed a birthday card to one of our son's bus drivers that I had signed it wrong. I have always been writing,
Lisa and Larry XXXXX
I know when I did my wedding announcements, that my name was suppose to go first. Now, am I suppose to be writing his name first? I put my name first since I made the card. Am I suppose to be signing his name first or does it REALLY matter? Love to hear thoughts on this.
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Old 10-04-2006, 04:45 AM   #2
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When I'm sending cards to family, it gets signed DH, Me, DD. (We each sign our own names when it's family) When I'm sending a card to a friend that is more MINE.....I sign Me, DH, DD. When I'm sending a card to family friends, I sign all names in order of DH, Me, DD. If it was a person like the mailman/bus driver, etc......DH, Me, DD because of the family "hierarchy". JMHO!
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Old 10-04-2006, 04:51 AM   #3
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I am the exact same as DisneyDoll, although I dont think in this day and age its a big deal anymore. My bil HATES when my sister's name goes first on something ... so whenever I make them a card, on the envelope I will address it to "Lori and Greg" instead of "Greg and Lori", just to get his goat!
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Old 10-04-2006, 04:55 AM   #4
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I basically do the same ... however, if the card is someone on hubby's side of the family, I sign DH and me. If it's my side of the family, it's me then DH.
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Old 10-04-2006, 05:25 AM   #5
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I do the same as MrsAngotti--his side, his name first; my side, my name first. If it's out of the family, I usually do his name first, but sometimes slip and put mine first. I never thought about it mattering, except in the case of family.
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Old 10-04-2006, 05:29 AM   #6
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I do the same as MrsAngotti. Then for all other cards the person who is giving the card, signs the card. If my daughter gives a card to the bus driver, teacher, etc... she will sign the card.
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Old 10-04-2006, 05:34 AM   #7
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Wow! It isn't enough that we take our husband's last name...now they are offended if we write our name first!?

deb_loves_stamping, I'd do the same thing!!!
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Old 10-04-2006, 05:38 AM   #8
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I agree with several of the previous posts. If the card is going to someone on DH's side of the family, I put his name first. If it's for my side of the family, I put my name first. If the card is for a friend outside the family, it depends on who knows the recipient better - if it's mainly DH's friend, his name goes first, but if it's someone I know better, my name goes first. And then our boys' names follow in age order.

In the case of the bus driver, however, I'd make the card only from our kids, since they are the ones who actually ride the bus. We do give their bus driver cards during the holiday season and at the end of the school year. I've never thought about including DH and me on a card to her.
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Old 10-04-2006, 05:54 AM   #9
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Quote:

Originally Posted by DisneyDoll
DH, Me, DD because of the family "hierarchy". JMHO!
I sign ME, DH, kids, dogs for the same reason

If my husband complained I'd tell him he's lucky I signed his name at all LOL
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Old 10-04-2006, 05:58 AM   #10
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Well honestly, I figure, I'm the one who remembered the event and took the time to make the card, so MY name goes first, then DH, then DD. Heck, my DH rolls his eyes half the time when I shove a card in his face to sign, so half the time I sign his name.
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Old 10-04-2006, 06:03 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by laurakj
Well honestly, I figure, I'm the one who remembered the event and took the time to make the card.
Seriously! If my DH EVER put up a stink about whether his name went first, that would be the LAST card that I put his name on...at all.
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Old 10-04-2006, 06:08 AM   #12
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Rubbernecker
Seriously! If my DH EVER put up a stink about whether his name went first, that would be the LAST card that I put his name on...at all.
It would also be the last time he ever saw me not just a card! I think that is just a crazy thought that I can't even wrap my brain around. I always sign my name first and then everyone elses, heck sometimes the dogs name comes before the rest of my family .

I work in a law office for a lawyer and all the letters he writes to couples have the womans name first, mans name second. This goes for business letters and personal letters that I write for him.
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Old 10-04-2006, 06:12 AM   #13
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Quote:

Originally Posted by laurakj
Well honestly, I figure, I'm the one who remembered the event and took the time to make the card, so MY name goes first, then DH, then DD. Heck, my DH rolls his eyes half the time when I shove a card in his face to sign, so half the time I sign his name.
I feel the same way... if he wants to make/buy the card, and coordinate it, then his name goes first... otherwise, it's mine. Except for Christmas cards... I always sign DH then Me.
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Old 10-04-2006, 06:17 AM   #14
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[QUOTE=jpmayo]It would also be the last time he ever saw me not just a card! I think that is just a crazy thought that I can't even wrap my brain around.QUOTE]

I tend to agree here. When I was married, he liked to throw hissies about that kind of thing....so did his mother, but she is a WHOLE separate story!

I told him that if he didn't want to buy, write, or even sign the card, he shouldn't have a fit about whose name is first. He wouldn't even buy his own mother a birthday card....he always told me to do it. (This was pre stamping of course....not that I would waste a gorgeous handmade card on her....who wouldn't appreciate it, lol!)
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Old 10-04-2006, 06:19 AM   #15
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LOL, I love the dogs might go first!, jpmayo, at our house they usually do as it is expected by friends and family to see "the four-legged kids, Cindy, and Jeff. Also if I did not send the card, the card would not go out. My DH does not care one way or the other. He says go for it!
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Old 10-04-2006, 06:27 AM   #16
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I didn't take anyone elses last name when I married. I do the same for family and friends as others said here. I would not put my first name on a card for bus drivers anyway. I don't kow them personally so I would just sign our family name or maybe Krista and the Brandts.
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Old 10-04-2006, 07:29 AM   #17
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So.....you can't just hand him a pen?
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Old 10-04-2006, 07:35 AM   #18
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MY DH could care less if his name is first, second or last. Just so we send a card and someone signs it. I used to have him sign his own name, but it was quicker and more effective for me to just sign all names. I usually follow everyone else here it depends on who the card is going to.
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Old 10-04-2006, 07:36 AM   #19
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I always sign me first, since I made and wrote the dang thing! If my BF wants to sign first, he can make and write the card! (and, he has no objection to me signing first; I don't think he even notices)
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Old 10-04-2006, 07:47 AM   #20
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Well, another wonderful *modern day* how!

According to Emily Post, it goes just like the marriage vows, husband, wife, family.

But who cares? Sign them anyway you like!
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Old 10-04-2006, 07:58 AM   #21
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I sign our cards Jay & Linda, Owen & Zach. Linda and Jay just sounds funny to me. If they're close friends, I'll sign it 'jloz' and get them to think for a minute!
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Old 10-04-2006, 08:11 AM   #22
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I only put hubby's name first if the card is to one of his friends or family members...and even then, I don't think it matters.
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Old 10-04-2006, 08:41 AM   #23
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Rubbernecker
Seriously! If my DH EVER put up a stink about whether his name went first, that would be the LAST card that I put his name on...at all.
Exactly!!!
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Old 10-04-2006, 08:55 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by myhappyplace
I sign ME, DH, kids, dogs for the same reason
My sentiments exactly! When I make a card for somebody for both of us to sign, the first words outta my DH's mouth about it had better NOT be about how I filled it in wrong. But, one of the many reasons I married DH is because he doesn't buy into the whole subservience of women to men tripe. (He's slowly coming around to the truth about the subservience of humans to cats, though. )
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Old 10-04-2006, 08:55 AM   #25
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Quote:

Originally Posted by deb_loves_stamping
I am the exact same as DisneyDoll, although I dont think in this day and age its a big deal anymore. My bil HATES when my sister's name goes first on something ... so whenever I make them a card, on the envelope I will address it to "Lori and Greg" instead of "Greg and Lori", just to get his goat!

Very funny.
I sign cards to DH's family DH, me, DD. Everyone else I sign me DH, DD. I figure I'm the one signing it, I can put myself first. If DH wants his name first he can sign his own card. Oh yes, there were a few times that I made cards for work for OUR bosses and asked him to sign them for us ALL. He signed his full name, nothing else. I just added my first name and "and" before it and NEVER asked him to sign anything again. I suspect this it why he did it in the first place. He's no dufus. He did our wedding thank yous faster and nicer than I could have done.
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Old 10-04-2006, 08:58 AM   #26
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Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsAngotti
I basically do the same ... however, if the card is someone on hubby's side of the family, I sign DH and me. If it's my side of the family, it's me then DH.
This is what I do also. Especially on tags for Christmas presents ... multiple "Mom" or "Dad" presents can get confusing. I know whose parent it should go to simply by looking at which of our names comes first.
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Old 10-04-2006, 09:27 AM   #27
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thanks for the lively discussion on this. First off, I know these bus drivers very well, and feel they are close friends. this card was not *from* my son to give to her, it was from ME..lol. But since she knows DH too, I signed his name as well. I tend to agree that since I am making the card, my name goes first..lol. I am going to talk with him more about this. He was making a joke out of it, but we all know that when a joke is made, most of the time there is more behind it then the other person is saying. He is not a woman hater, or even one of those guys that think guys rule the world. This man spoils me rotten, so I just wanted to get opinions on this.. LOL. It was really not a big deal, was just wondering how others felt about this. I hope that everyone has these great husbands that support them and want them to enjoy thier hobby, like mine does, just was curious as to opinions.
Thanks!
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Old 10-04-2006, 09:59 AM   #28
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This is a very interesting and fun thread. When I was picking out address labels at a local stationary store, I was told that you should not separate your husband from his last name...meaning, if you are taking his last name your name would come first...for example: Cindy and John Smith. If you have not taken his last name, then his name would come first. I personally do the same as most others, if it is to his family his name comes first, if it to my family I put myself first. I did my address labels the "correct way" with my name first, he commented "hey they screwed up and put you first" I said well why shouldnt I come first? Are you more important than me? He said "No its supposed to be alphabetical". LOL. He didnt know and really didnt care either. I say "do it any way you want". Most husbands probably wouldnt even care. I know my hubby is just happy he doesnt have to shop or send cards himself. Just my 2 cents!
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Old 10-04-2006, 10:25 AM   #29
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Like most posters have said, I usually sign me, DH, and then DD (IF she hasn't made her own card). When he takes the time to make the card, he can sign it in whichever order he pleases.

Again, like most, the only exception to this rule is on cards to HIS family, I'll acquiesce, and put his name first...

I must admit that when it comes to the *TO* portion when addressing a couple, if we are equally close to both parties, there is usually a way that sounds "better". Otherwise, the one we know the best gets pride of place!

I play this game everyday at work. Some clients need to see Dr. & Mrs. John Brown, others want to see Susan and John Brown, still others want to see Mrs. Susan Brown (as opposed to MRS John Brown...). If I'm not sure of where they stand, they get the *proper* Dr. and Mrs... (and that's before you take into account the Margaret's that want to be addressed in the familiar "Peggy", etc. etc.)

We all should have just stayed single - LOL!
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Old 10-04-2006, 10:26 AM   #30
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I forgot to add, next time - make him make the card (and see how willing he is to put his name on it at all *snort*)
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Old 10-04-2006, 11:02 AM   #31
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technically, I thought the gal's name went first, because the husband is the original owner of the "name", ie John Smith. Joan Smith was not the original "owner" of the Smith name, thus her name is separated from the last name by her husband's name. Now, I just remember this from years ago, and I have no idea where I heard or read it, or for that matter, if it's even true. I don't even know if you get what I'm trying to say here because it is rather confusing!!!!!
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Old 10-04-2006, 11:15 AM   #32
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Quote:

Originally Posted by westy04
technically, I thought the gal's name went first, because the husband is the original owner of the "name", ie John Smith. Joan Smith was not the original "owner" of the Smith name, thus her name is separated from the last name by her husband's name. Now, I just remember this from years ago, and I have no idea where I heard or read it, or for that matter, if it's even true. I don't even know if you get what I'm trying to say here because it is rather confusing!!!!!
This is technically the way I thought it should be, too.
Funny observation about this thread is that some are saying when it goes to "his" family or "my" family you sign differently. We both think of both families as "our" family so that is a little wierd to me. We have so many grandparents and great-granparents and moms and step-moms and dads that they all just go in one big pile. But it does make sense so that you will know who's gift is who's if they are wrapped and you can't tell. We seperate the gifts all under the tree at Christmas time by who they belong to so they don't get messed up.
Just my observation...
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Old 10-04-2006, 11:24 AM   #33
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Alphabetical ..... which means his name goes first. If/when we have kids, then the kids will go after us in alpha order.

Keeps it simple

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Old 10-04-2006, 11:29 AM   #34
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Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsAngotti
I basically do the same ... however, if the card is someone on hubby's side of the family, I sign DH and me. If it's my side of the family, it's me then DH.
I sign it this way too!
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Old 10-04-2006, 11:34 AM   #35
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I always sign Me, hubby, kids. Most of the times, DH doesn't even know that there is a card. If he complained, he would be in charge of taking care of all the card responsibilities.
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Old 10-06-2006, 07:33 AM   #36
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I sign cards DH, me, DD. I've always put his name first and I haven't the slightest idea why. LOL I know that he doesn't care who's name goes first. I think my SIL signs the cards the same way, too.
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Old 10-06-2006, 07:53 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by nmslmomto3
Hi all, so my darling husband complained to me last night after I had signed a birthday card to one of our son's bus drivers that I had signed it wrong. I have always been writing,
Lisa and Larry XXXXX
I know when I did my wedding announcements, that my name was suppose to go first. Now, am I suppose to be writing his name first? I put my name first since I made the card. Am I suppose to be signing his name first or does it REALLY matter? Love to hear thoughts on this.
Regardless of what etiquette dictates, simply because I'm feelin' naughty right now , I figure if *I* made the card, and I'm the one signing 'em all, then by golly, I'm putting my name first.

I would tell hubby:

And, then give him a loving smooch, along with the suggestion that he is welcome to make and sign all the cards, leaving him free to do as he wishes . . .
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Old 10-06-2006, 08:14 AM   #38
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Quote:

Originally Posted by PolarBear
Wow! It isn't enough that we take our husband's last name...now they are offended if we write our name first!?

My thoughts exactly!! Although I can't even complain about that since I didn't take my husband's last name.

My other thought is to tell your husband that he is truly blessed if the most important thing he can find wrong with your ways is the order of names! Heck, my husband has a long list of things that aggravate him about me and that one wouldn't even make the top 500! But I'm a pain so go figure.....
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Old 10-06-2006, 08:50 AM   #39
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Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsAngotti
I basically do the same ... however, if the card is someone on hubby's side of the family, I sign DH and me. If it's my side of the family, it's me then DH.

Ditto!
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Old 10-06-2006, 11:09 AM   #40
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I think I would just ask why it bothers him....
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