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Old 07-16-2007, 12:45 PM   #241
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So I just sat here for the better part of an hour and read all 6 pages...

Now I have some great inspiration!!

Thanks!
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Old 07-16-2007, 12:48 PM   #242
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These are great....Subscribing
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Old 07-16-2007, 07:45 PM   #243
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Just found this thread, and I love it!! So far, there is only one I can think of:

Everyone's doin' it doin' it
Pickin' their nose and
Chewin' it chewin' it
(ya gotta sing that one


You can pick your friends
You can pick your nose
You CAN'T pick your firend's nose

HA!! I guess that was two
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Old 07-18-2007, 03:10 PM   #244
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With five pages so far, I'll just put this one down and hope it hasn't been entered. I saw this at Wally world and knew it would be good with any of our car or truck stamps on the front (good for Mom or Dad)

outside:
You drove me everywhere
I drove you crazy

inside:
Does that make us even?
Happy Mother's Day (or Father's Day or Birthday)
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Old 07-18-2007, 03:19 PM   #245
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Oops - here is how the "car" card was really worded:

Outside:
“If I have to stop this car...”

Inside:
You drove me everywhere and I drove you crazy.
Does that mean we’re even?
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"I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans to prosper and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future!" Jeremiah 29:11

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Old 07-18-2007, 09:30 PM   #246
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Just found this thread. These are both inspirational and hysterical. I have sat and read all 7 pages. Now I must copy and paste to add to my arsenal.

Thanks everyone!

Lisa aka Scraptigerlily
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Old 07-18-2007, 11:14 PM   #247
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Love all these card sayings and quotes!
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Old 07-19-2007, 11:05 AM   #248
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* Motherhood ~ If it was going to be easy, it never would have
started with something called labor!

* Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to
steer your car, and you get about the same results.

* To be in your children's memories tomorrow,
you have to be in their lives today.

* The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.

* The best way to keep kids at home
is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere ...
and to let the air out of the tires.

* The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts, not by hot heads.

* Raising a teenager is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

* Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

* The joy of motherhood: the time when all the children are finally in bed.

* Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need
baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car.

* Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is
so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

* Grandparents are similar to a piece of string ~ handy to have
around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.

* A child outgrows your lap, but never outgrows your heart.

* God gave you two ears and one mouth.... so you should listen
twice as much as you talk.

* Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.

* You know the only people in this world who are always sure about
the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

* Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to
shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.

~or more poetically ~
Cleaning the house while the kids are still growing
Is like shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing!

* Oh to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he
was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

* There are only two things a child will share willingly,
communicable diseases and his mother's age.

* Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions
because they know all the answers.

* An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.

* No wonder kids are confused today.
Half the adults tell them to find themselves;
the other half tell them to get lost.

* Kids really brighten a household; they never turn off any lights.
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Old 09-11-2007, 05:16 AM   #249
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All of these were so funny....thanks for making my day!
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Old 09-13-2007, 12:34 PM   #250
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Here's some "ponderisims" I got today

Ponderisms
>
> I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
> people die of natural causes.
>
>
> Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
> removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out
of the
> ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
>
>
> The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy
> a replacement.
>
>
> Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
>
>
> Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one
> talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
>
>
> In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
> world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
>
>
> How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes
> a whole box to start a campfire?
>
>
> Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
> squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
>
>
> Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm
> gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
>
>
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
> him?
>
>
> Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
> are going to look up there anyway?
>
>
> Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
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Old 09-18-2007, 12:36 AM   #251
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Oh my, Oh my!! I think they should be called "Spinemark" cuz its the way we'd mark the occasion if we had a spine!!!!
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Old 09-18-2007, 01:34 AM   #252
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subscribing
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Old 09-18-2007, 01:56 AM   #253
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great girls always looking for quirky
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Old 09-18-2007, 08:27 AM   #254
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Michele, I LOVE the ponderisms! I can't even choose one they are all so good! Now to figure out the right stamps!
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Old 09-18-2007, 09:24 AM   #255
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I've only read the first two pages of this thread so far so, I don't know if this has been added yet or not...

A friend knows how you take your coffee
a Best friend adds the booze...

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Old 09-29-2007, 08:37 PM   #256
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This has been lots of fun, you guys crack me up!
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Old 10-11-2007, 05:14 PM   #257
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Hey everybody. This is my first post. I am wondering you anyone can recommend any good quote books, websites, etc. I am looking especially for like holidays.

Thanks in advance.
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Old 10-11-2007, 05:47 PM   #258
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subscribing -- this is GREAT material!
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Old 10-31-2007, 11:36 AM   #259
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Here is one for the old ladies in the car: "I want to die like my grandmother did, peacefully and in her sleep, not screaming like the other passengers in her car."
Rhonda


Quote:
Originally Posted by purplewinkle View Post
There is a saying and I don't know it but I have seen it on a signature line that says something like I want to crash through life and say "Woah! what a ride" I am waaay off, so someone help me!
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Old 11-08-2007, 05:18 PM   #260
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Some of these are so funny…I’ve had to keep a running list.
This is a little off but how about this card I saw in a store.

The front shows a very prim and proper “church lady” and says
Jesus loves you…
Inside it says
…but the rest of us think you’re a jacka**

or on the darker side
A friend will help you move
A true friend will help you move the body
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Old 11-15-2007, 04:48 AM   #261
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I have just made my first few cards with these funny sentiments! Thanks so much for putting it all together for us. You can check out my cards here (under Nov 14): http://craftingcentral.blogspot.com
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Old 11-18-2007, 11:53 AM   #262
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Default some Friendship sayings

"He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare,
And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"To be your friend was all I ever wanted;
to be your lover was all I ever dreamed."
- Valerie Lombardo

"If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I would not follow,
I would be at the bottom to catch them when they fall."
- Unknown
"A friend in need is a friend indeed."
- Latin Proverb

"A good friend is my nearest relation."

"A hedge between keeps friendship green."

"God defend me from my friends; from my enemies I can defend myself."

"Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes."

"The best of friends must part."

"The death of a friend is equivalent to the loss of a limb."
- German Proverb

"Life without a friend is like death without a witness."
- Spanish Proverb

"The best mirror is an old friend."

"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what is made by the friends whom we choose."
- Tehyi Hsieh

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Old 03-28-2008, 07:12 PM   #263
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linking this post to a recent post with the same theme:

http:////www.splitcoaststampers.com/...d.php?t=333674
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Old 03-31-2008, 07:36 AM   #264
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Default More Quirky Sayings

I found this thread last night and was up waaaayyy too late reading and writing them down. I truly appreciate River City Rubberworks and Art Impressions stamps and have some of my own.

One of my favorites that I use with a ballerina who is slumped to the floor in fatigue is "Pretending to be a normal person day after day is exhausting." I've sold dozens of those. Who knew?

My favorite Irish blessing is:
May those who love us, love us.
And those who don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
If He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles
So we will know them by their limping.

"In one's search for Mr. Right, One must never be fooled by 'Mr. Hasn't Got a Clue'"

Cats know your every thought. They don't care, but they know.

I have an Art Impressions stamp with an older lady with a HUGE hat that I use with: The older we get the more we should accessorize. Or is that exercise?

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Age takes its toll; please have exact change.

For my unsuccessfully dieting friends:
"Who would lose a precious pound
By trading sweets for sours?
It takes a mighty girth indeed
To hold such hearts as ours."

And last, a birthday toast:
May your home be full of love and warmth.
May your cupboards never go empty.
May your birthday candles not melt all over your cake.
May you always have laughter in your life.
May the elastic in your underwear never wear out.
May your health be good, and your boobs never go below your belly button.

Thanks for all the great laughs and fabulous ideas last night.

Cindy/CA who lurks a lot and is just learning to use the forums
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Old 03-31-2008, 07:38 AM   #265
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Default And one more

A quote from Ogden Nash

Advice to Husbands

"To keep your marriage brimming
With love from the loving cup:
Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
Whenever you're right, shut up."

Cindy/CA
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Old 03-31-2008, 11:27 AM   #266
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Just have to subscribe to this.....you never know when you need a real good line......and then can't find them...LOL
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Old 04-01-2008, 03:20 PM   #267
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MOTORMOUTH View Post
Just have to subscribe to this.....you never know when you need a real good line......and then can't find them...LOL
I second this. Subscribing
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Old 04-01-2008, 05:36 PM   #268
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Here's one more for the road, er..card:

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.....

Then find someone whose life handed them vodka, and have a party!
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Old 04-01-2008, 06:16 PM   #269
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I just made a card that had a sick puppy image on the outside (dog with a bag of ice on his head) and it said "Heard you've been one sick puppy" - then on the inside I used my Karen Foster Snap Stamps and I added, "oh, you've been ILL too???"

Jane
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Old 04-01-2008, 06:24 PM   #270
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Read this on a thread here and had to get the stamp from Las Vegas stamps...

We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of smart.

Love it!!
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Old 04-01-2008, 06:29 PM   #271
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subscribing - thanks for the great ideas! Hopefully I'll be able to contribute some also...if I can think of anything original! Have to go referee my lil ones' "argument " now...gotta love having two girls so close in age
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Old 06-07-2008, 03:06 AM   #272
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Bumping - cos these are classics, and it would be a shame to loose them!

Jamey
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Old 06-08-2008, 03:02 PM   #273
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what fun to rediscover this thread!!!!
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Old 06-08-2008, 03:34 PM   #274
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I don't know if this has been posted or if I'm repeating it right. I saw it on a bumper sticker yesterday. Dear Future, Sorry, we tried. Love, Half of Earth
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Old 06-08-2008, 03:57 PM   #275
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subscribing.......this is so great!

don't know if i have this one right but here goes:

Bad hair days are there to remind us that there are some things we cannot control.
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Old 06-08-2008, 04:13 PM   #276
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Default My favorite quirky greetings

You don't have to be crazy to work here, bu it sure helps!

A clean house is a sign of a wasted life!
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:51 PM   #277
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Subscribing...I just can't stop laughing!
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:59 PM   #278
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Default sayings

someone I read today had:

If life gives you limes, rearrange them into smiles............

and you know, I had never noticed that.
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Old 06-18-2008, 08:17 PM   #279
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Subscribing!
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Old 06-19-2008, 08:22 AM   #280
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Great thread!
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