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Old 06-21-2007, 07:57 AM   #201
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Front:
Sorry to hear you're not feeling well...

Inside:
...dibs on your organs!
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Old 06-21-2007, 09:10 AM   #202
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My brother gave me a card a couple of years ago . . .

Outside: I hope to see you pretty soon.
Inside: You've been ugly for so long!

You know you only get a card like that when someone REALLY loves you!
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Old 06-21-2007, 09:58 AM   #203
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these are my two trademark sayings..... gray hairs are just brain cells escaping...and...my mind left me for a younger woman...
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Old 06-21-2007, 10:03 AM   #204
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"Front:
Sorry to hear you're not feeling well...

Inside:
...dibs on your organs!"



*snort* That was funny!
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Old 06-21-2007, 12:28 PM   #205
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Has some sweet heart compiled all these into one document?
Thanks for all the great ideas!
K
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Old 06-21-2007, 02:06 PM   #206
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Smile More?

Don't know if these have been seen here or not.


--Always remember you're unique... Just like everyone else.

--I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.

--Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!

--Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

--Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!

--I'm not getting smaller I'm backing away from you.

--Rehab Is for Quitters

--My Dog Can Lick Anyone

--Computer programmers don't byte They nibble a bit.

--I(nternal) R(evenue) S(ervice) We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

--Out of my mind... Back in five minutes.

--Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

--People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

--Oh crap! You're going to try and cheer me up, aren't you?

--Do not disturb I'm disturbed enough already.

--Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?
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Old 06-21-2007, 02:10 PM   #207
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StampinKris View Post
Has some sweet heart compiled all these into one document?
Thanks for all the great ideas!
K
Just what I was thinking! Thought I might update the list that was way back on page two or so.... But I haven't yet!
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Old 06-21-2007, 02:10 PM   #208
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Talking QUIRKY Card Saying LISTINGs

I think I got most of them, perhaps some duplicates, I didn't check real thoroughly. New to attaching a file so crossing my fingers that it works. Thanks for all the inspiration ladies....
Attached Files
File Type: doc QUIRKY CARD SAYINGS.doc (92.5 KB, 410 views)
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Old 06-21-2007, 02:34 PM   #209
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Just got these in an e-mail: Don't know if they are already here or not.

--Every time I hear the dirty word "EXERCISE", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

--I'm still HOT...It just comes out in FLASHES.

--Life is SHORT. Make FUN of it.

--Keep STARING...I may do a trick.

--I'm not 50. I'm 49.95 + tax.

--At my age getting "LUCKY" means finding my car in a parking lot!

I can so relate to the last one. My kids laugh at me when I have to use the PANIC button on my car keys to find my car in a crowded lot. Hey...it works, so build a bridge and get over it.
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Old 06-21-2007, 03:21 PM   #210
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mom5boys,...thanks so much for doing the list update.
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Old 06-21-2007, 09:56 PM   #211
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Thanks mom! Keeping the list in my "I need inspiration" folder!
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Old 06-21-2007, 11:50 PM   #212
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Subscribing
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Old 06-22-2007, 07:24 AM   #213
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A friend just sent me this - "True Friendship"
(With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-
just the stone cold truth of our friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ***.
9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask ?, "Because you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to "all 10" of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!! (don't send it back to me...I don't want to hear it!!!)

And remember....when life hands you Lemons, get some tequila and salt and call me
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Old 06-22-2007, 09:03 AM   #214
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ellesart - thanks for the laugh!
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Old 06-22-2007, 09:30 AM   #215
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Default Thanks you did a great job-

Quote:
Originally Posted by mom5boys View Post
I think I got most of them, perhaps some duplicates, I didn't check real thoroughly. New to attaching a file so crossing my fingers that it works. Thanks for all the inspiration ladies....
I'm gonna print this for my notebook I plan on making someday for techniques and sketches and color combos-Could you help me out??
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Old 06-22-2007, 10:08 AM   #216
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Diane - can you open the Word document that mom5boys created?
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Old 06-22-2007, 05:56 PM   #217
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These are too funny! I will try to get some myself to post. TFS!
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Old 06-22-2007, 07:36 PM   #218
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so many great sayings! I have to come back and get some more after I finish a few cards!!
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Old 06-22-2007, 08:28 PM   #219
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I love all these sayings. I have been sitting here laughing out loud..only my little dogs to look at me and wonder what the heck I am laughing at.

Teresa
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Old 06-22-2007, 09:58 PM   #220
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kmk24 View Post
ellesart - thanks for the laugh!
Amen.

I sent it to all my 'friends.'

LOL
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Old 06-24-2007, 10:17 AM   #221
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Hi, Jane Doe asking you to keep me in mind when you have your list ready. I will think about what I like and will send you some sayings asap! Thanks for your great idea.
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Old 06-24-2007, 09:01 PM   #222
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ellesart View Post
A friend just sent me this - "True Friendship"
(With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

These are awesome! Could definitely use these...
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Old 06-25-2007, 07:51 AM   #223
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thank you for compiling these into a document!
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Old 06-25-2007, 08:39 AM   #224
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Great thread! I plan to use a bunch of them!
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Old 06-25-2007, 02:13 PM   #225
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Great thread! Thanks for putting them all in one place.
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Old 06-27-2007, 10:20 AM   #226
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Made a Card using a quote in the list from lazylizard. I couldn't resist to make this for a friend who doesn't always remember to buckle up.

here's the link: http:////www.splitcoaststampers.com/...49?limit=last1
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Old 06-27-2007, 11:26 AM   #227
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SkisInOkinawa View Post
OMG! I've been ROFLMAO! Too funny! Keep 'em coming!

What about something for this stamp?? I haven't used it yet because I didn't know what to do with it.
"If Thelma & Louise hadn't jumped..."

"On the road of life, if you feel like you're under control, you're just not going fast enough!"

"Walmart, here we come!" or
"Bingo, here we come!"
etc...
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Old 06-27-2007, 11:47 AM   #228
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(for 50th Bday - adjust for milestone in question)

Front:
Congratulations on your 1st Anniversary...

Inside:
Of your 49'th Birthday
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Old 06-30-2007, 02:12 PM   #229
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If you didn't check out the link with the PMS - I laughed so hard I cried. Shared it with my teenage daughters!
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Old 07-01-2007, 03:21 PM   #230
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MilwaukeeMommy View Post
It's so funny that I found this thread (glad I went to page 2)

My aunt had breast reduction surgery today. No card in Hallmark for that occasion. So I went to the stamp store to browse, hoping something clever would come to me. Nothing did. I was thinking, too, that I can't make her anything sweet or cute. We've always sent over-the-top funny or even nasty cards to each other. Can't find stamps like that anywhere!

I'll be saving this thread as well!!

Michelle
How nice! Now you and your boobs can share the same zip code!
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Old 07-02-2007, 11:04 AM   #231
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For a catholic school friend

cover: three nuns laughing
...she said, 'Sister, please pray for me.'
inside:
Honey, I'm a nun not a miracle worker!
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Old 07-05-2007, 03:37 PM   #232
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WOO HOO my quirky cards arrived!! Thank you so much Sara, for hostessing!! I see someone else is a fan of Rivercity Rubber Works!
ALL LADIES, you did a BEE-YOU-TEA-FULL job on the cards! they are so funny!


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Old 07-05-2007, 03:53 PM   #233
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You're very welcome, StampBee! Start making more for the Autumn swap now....hehehe....
Sara
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Old 07-06-2007, 11:32 AM   #234
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This thread is a keeper! So helpful when you just can't think of the right words. I'll be printing off bits and pieces of it. Thanks.
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Old 07-06-2007, 09:56 PM   #235
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These are great!! Thanks for sharing! Gosh a couple I could Totally use...but shouldn't *grin*
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Old 07-10-2007, 05:30 PM   #236
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I've got one, from an American Greetings card my friend rec'd for her 50th bday.....It has a pink lady on it and it says "She rarely had gas, but when she did, it came out all pink and glittery and smelled like candy, and people cried when it was gone" then just said Happy Birthday inside.....

I just posted an ISO for some images stamped with Fairy nice so I can re-create it!!
hehehe

It's also going to be my next Twisted and Demented swap
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Old 07-12-2007, 08:23 AM   #237
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Oh my gosh too funny I have saved these all
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Old 07-12-2007, 09:28 AM   #238
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Subscribing
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Old 07-12-2007, 10:04 AM   #239
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One that I have seen recently:
OUTSIDE:"Daughter in law, you have always fit in so well with our family!"
INSIDE:"We mean that as a compliment! No really! Happy Birthday!"
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Old 07-16-2007, 11:55 AM   #240
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These are GREAT!! Subscribin'
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