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Old 02-16-2009, 10:26 AM   #161
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Quote:
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When they say "my other ride is a pole" does that mean a pole that strippers dance around or....( muttering to self - how can I get this old and not know this stuff.....) ahem, a much shorter object?

Jutta
ROFLMAO!!
You know, a "pole" on this thread could be so many things:
  • Stripper's pole
  • NASCAR references to pole position (Definition: The number one starting position. Usually earned by being the fastest during qualifying.)
  • And, you know, a "much shorter object" as quoted above!
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Old 02-16-2009, 11:13 AM   #162
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I bet we could come up with more ways to use "pole" in a sentence...

Wanna visit my south pole?
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Old 02-16-2009, 12:29 PM   #163
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I thought of another one as I was looking through my stamps. I don't know if it was mentioned before, but here it is.

A hummingbird image with "Would you like a hummer on _______?" Fill in the blank with "your Birthday", "Valentine's Day", or whatever the occasion.
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Old 02-16-2009, 12:35 PM   #164
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you guts are CRACKIN' me up!

who knows what someone might think if they stumbled onto this on my computer!
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Old 02-16-2009, 03:39 PM   #165
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So now, I want to know how everyone's hubbys liked their Valentine cards!
My hubby LOVED his naughty Valentine! He laughed when he read the title (Do you wanna get LUCKY tonight?!). I'm much more forward in my advances than he is

I put a lotto scratch ticket inside and it was a dud

This thread is hilarious!!
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Old 02-16-2009, 03:43 PM   #166
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I thought of another one as I was looking through my stamps. I don't know if it was mentioned before, but here it is.

A hummingbird image with "Would you like a hummer on _______?" Fill in the blank with "your Birthday", "Valentine's Day", or whatever the occasion.
I wonder if there's actually a Hummer vehicle stamp? What guy wouldn't like a card with that saying?!?
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Old 02-16-2009, 04:55 PM   #167
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I thought of another one as I was looking through my stamps. I don't know if it was mentioned before, but here it is.

A hummingbird image with "Would you like a hummer on _______?" Fill in the blank with "your Birthday", "Valentine's Day", or whatever the occasion.
That would be a great card for the March 14th holiday! (Men's holiday--not sure if I'm allowed to say it here!)
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Old 02-16-2009, 05:02 PM   #168
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I'm not familiar with a men's holiday on the 14th - you're gonna have to give me a hint?!?
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Old 02-16-2009, 05:09 PM   #169
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I'm not familiar with a men's holiday on the 14th - you're gonna have to give me a hint?!?
Try Googling "March 14 holiday." It's the first result--from Urban Dictionary.

(hope this doesn't get me in trouble...and please don't Google this if you're easily offended!!)
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Old 02-16-2009, 05:39 PM   #170
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You learn something new every day!
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Old 02-16-2009, 05:44 PM   #171
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Try Googling "March 14 holiday." It's the first result--from Urban Dictionary.

(hope this doesn't get me in trouble...and please don't Google this if you're easily offended!!)
LOL - obviously a holiday dreamed up by a man! PLEASE don't tell my DH this day exists
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Old 02-16-2009, 06:17 PM   #172
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LOL - obviously a holiday dreamed up by a man! PLEASE don't tell my DH this day exists
You must be a vegetarian?

I'm sure it was invented by a man! But then, it's only ONE day a year, right?
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Old 02-16-2009, 06:19 PM   #173
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Well, at least there's one holiday that hasn't been over-commercialized!!!

I used quite a few of the suggestions on here to make little 3x3 cards that I stuck all over the house for DH to find on Friday & Saturday. He especially liked the one in his wallet that he found when he went to pay the dinner check...and it explained what was planned for "dessert". I never would have thought of half of these sayings on my own, so a big thanks to this thread!
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Old 02-16-2009, 07:01 PM   #174
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This thread is hilarious and FABulous!! Y'all are sooo creative and witty I love all your ideas. I just googled 14 March - who'da thunk? Bet DH doesn't even know about that one. Yet! Since I stumbled upon this thread too late for V-Day, I'm thinking I just might have to introduce DH to the 14 March "holiday" and make him a card using one of these ideas mentioned in this thread. Now to figure out which one to use.........!
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Old 02-16-2009, 08:24 PM   #175
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Heehee. In my life before kids, I taught high school math. March 14th was always PI Day (3.14, get it?) I'm pretty sure the 'new' holiday wasn't around then or I would have heard the guys snickering!!!

I'm thinking about incorporating a cow and a whale (or trumpet?) onto a card to introduce hubby to the 'new' holiday. I just bought Porterhouse Steaks the other day at 3.99/lb and threw them in the freezer. Now I know why!!!
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Old 02-17-2009, 12:29 AM   #176
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I picked up the Twisted Sentiments set offered by MFT awhile back. My sister and I sat down one night going through our stamps and matching the sentiments, what a hoot! Best one we came up with was using Loads of Love with the sentiment Size Matters. One truck image was overflowing with presents, the other not....inside card....Size Matters. Love this thread ladies!
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Old 02-17-2009, 05:16 AM   #177
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This thread is hilarious and FABulous!! Y'all are sooo creative and witty I love all your ideas. I just googled 14 March - who'da thunk? Bet DH doesn't even know about that one. Yet! Since I stumbled upon this thread too late for V-Day, I'm thinking I just might have to introduce DH to the 14 March "holiday" and make him a card using one of these ideas mentioned in this thread. Now to figure out which one to use.........!
Here's one that I just tripped over:
Something on a Stick Day
When : Always March 28th
Something on a Stick Day celebrates things on a stick. Isn't this just a neat day? We thought you'd agree.
So what comes on a stick? Practically anything. The first thing that comes to mind is popsicles and fudgecicles. Hotdogs are poplar on a stick at campfires. There's also corndogs, and shrimp and many chinese treats. Cocktail wieners and cheese are picked and eaten on a stick(a toothpick).
You can also get just about anything on a stick when receiving food samples at a store or festival.
Celebrate this fun day by serving food for meals and snacks on a stick. The kids will love it. So will you!
BTW: We are glad that today is Something on a Stick Day and not "Something on a Shingle Day!
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Old 02-17-2009, 05:23 AM   #178
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You must be a vegetarian?

I'm sure it was invented by a man! But then, it's only ONE day a year, right?
LOL - somethin' like that
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Old 02-17-2009, 06:17 AM   #179
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OMG, My husband is gonna love the March 14 holiday (I am astonished he doesn't already know about it). He is always complaining that he never gets enough "steak"
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Old 02-17-2009, 06:33 AM   #180
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Yes, I did see the March 14 one, and here's another one that I just tripped over:

Something on a Stick Day

When : Always March 28th
Something on a Stick Day celebrates things on a stick. Isn't this just a neat day? We thought you'd agree.
So what comes on a stick? Practically anything. The first thing that comes to mind is popsicles and fudgecicles. Hotdogs are poplar on a stick at campfires. There's also corndogs, and shrimp and many chinese treats. Cocktail wieners and cheese are picked and eaten on a stick(a toothpick).
You can also get just about anything on a stick when receiving food samples at a store or festival.
Celebrate this fun day by serving food for meals and snacks on a stick. The kids will love it. So will you!
BTW: We are glad that today is Something on a Stick Day and not "Something on a Shingle Day!
I edited it but couldn't find an edit button--where'd it go??
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Old 02-17-2009, 06:35 AM   #181
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This one is not near as good as many others on this thread and I have no idea what stamp you would use for this, but what about:
"Wanna do the Hokey Pokey? "
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Old 02-17-2009, 07:34 AM   #182
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OMG, My husband is gonna love the March 14 holiday (I am astonished he doesn't already know about it). He is always complaining that he never gets enough "steak"
Last night as we fell asleep we were listening to some sports radio show. This girl called in asking the host for ideas for her anniversary/Valentine's Day, which were two weeks apart. The hosts (both male) said that she didn't need to get him a gift, because "Valentine's Day is a day for the man to lavish the woman in gifts--men aren't supposed to get anything." I'd *never* heard that before!

But I'm willing to take Feb. 14th as the "girl day," if he wants to take Mar. 14th as the "boy day."
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Old 02-17-2009, 07:39 AM   #183
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Last night as we fell asleep we were listening to some sports radio show. This girl called in asking the host for ideas for her anniversary/Valentine's Day, which were two weeks apart. The hosts (both male) said that she didn't need to get him a gift, because "Valentine's Day is a day for the man to lavish the woman in gifts--men aren't supposed to get anything." I'd *never* heard that before!

But I'm willing to take Feb. 14th as the "girl day," if he wants to take Mar. 14th as the "boy day."
This is totally off-topic, but I was listening to one of our local country stations yesterday morning. This guy's roommate called in to "bust him out". Apparently "this guy" has a girlfriend of 2 months. He forgot about Valentine's Day! So in about 2 hours time, he organizes (get this) a trip to New York City! Picked her up in a limo, flew to NYC and spent 15 hours! Cost of about $1400!! Here's the kicker. He was trying to keep it a secret from her that he forgot..now she's ticked and won't talk to him because she heard about it on the radio! The talk show hosts tried to get her to call in and she turned her phone off! Geez. I don't care much for Valentine's Day myself, but let me tell you....I think it showed a LOT what he was willing to do for her and after only 2 months!! I say he should dump her sorry butt!!
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Old 02-17-2009, 07:42 AM   #184
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This is totally off-topic, but I was listening to one of our local country stations yesterday morning. This guy's roommate called in to "bust him out". Apparently "this guy" has a girlfriend of 2 months. He forgot about Valentine's Day! So in about 2 hours time, he organizes (get this) a trip to New York City! Picked her up in a limo, flew to NYC and spent 15 hours! Cost of about $1400!! Here's the kicker. He was trying to keep it a secret from her that he forgot..now she's ticked and won't talk to him because she heard about it on the radio! The talk show hosts tried to get her to call in and she turned her phone off! Geez. I don't care much for Valentine's Day myself, but let me tell you....I think it showed a LOT what he was willing to do for her and after only 2 months!! I say he should dump her sorry butt!!
Wow, that's a great story! What an ungrateful b! I hate girls like that...ugh.
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Old 02-17-2009, 07:44 AM   #185
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This is totally off-topic, but I was listening to one of our local country stations yesterday morning. This guy's roommate called in to "bust him out". Apparently "this guy" has a girlfriend of 2 months. He forgot about Valentine's Day! So in about 2 hours time, he organizes (get this) a trip to New York City! Picked her up in a limo, flew to NYC and spent 15 hours! Cost of about $1400!! Here's the kicker. He was trying to keep it a secret from her that he forgot..now she's ticked and won't talk to him because she heard about it on the radio! The talk show hosts tried to get her to call in and she turned her phone off! Geez. I don't care much for Valentine's Day myself, but let me tell you....I think it showed a LOT what he was willing to do for her and after only 2 months!! I say he should dump her sorry butt!!
He goes to all that trouble to make it up, and she's being a boob about it? He should dump her in a NY minute!!
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Old 02-17-2009, 07:54 AM   #186
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That would be a great card for the March 14th holiday! (Men's holiday--not sure if I'm allowed to say it here!)
I've never heard about this!! Too funny!!!!!

Guess we'd all better get out our FAN stamps
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Old 02-17-2009, 07:59 AM   #187
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I've never heard about this!! Too funny!!!!!

Guess we'd all better get out our FAN stamps
Or the vacuum stamp!
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Old 02-17-2009, 09:02 AM   #188
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I have been loving this thread and just wanted to add some sentiments, sorry if they have already been posted

You’re on my “TO DO” list

I need a good screw ; pic of screw or Wanna screw (pic) ?

Doctors say-- "Take off your clothes."; Belladoctor

Hunters say -- "I love going deep in the bush." ; reword to say ‘how about my bush?’

Hairdressers say -- "Do you want it teased or blown?"; Bella hairdresser

Naughty conversation hearts, use heart stamp or punch (http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love...y-candy-hearts)
TAKE IT OFF
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Old 02-17-2009, 07:32 PM   #189
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oh and

for a Hawaiian girl stamp--Komoniwannalayya

from the movie Grumpier Old Men
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Old 02-17-2009, 07:50 PM   #190
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oh and

for a Hawaiian girl stamp--Komoniwannalayya

from the movie Grumpier Old Men
And her sister, Ikinnawannapokeya!
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Old 02-17-2009, 08:37 PM   #191
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Originally Posted by tulpen View Post
I have been loving this thread and just wanted to add some sentiments, sorry if they have already been posted

You’re on my “TO DO” list

I need a good screw ; pic of screw or Wanna screw (pic) ?

Doctors say-- "Take off your clothes."; Belladoctor

Hunters say -- "I love going deep in the bush." ; reword to say ‘how about my bush?’

Hairdressers say -- "Do you want it teased or blown?"; Bella hairdresser

Naughty conversation hearts, use heart stamp or punch (http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love...y-candy-hearts)
TAKE IT OFF
GR8 PKG
IM HOT 4 U
UR *** IS PERF
DO ME NOW
WANT U NOW
OMFG UR HOT
UR SO SEXY
NICE ***
SPANK ME
This one made me spew my sipping chocolate!!! Way too funny!!!!
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Old 02-18-2009, 03:41 AM   #192
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I made a bikini card in stars and stripes for a patriotic challenge but would like to spice it up inside. any suggestions???
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Old 02-18-2009, 05:24 AM   #193
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What about something about 'standing at attention'? Or his special soldier standing at attention? Or "Oh say can you see.....oh I SEE you standing at attention...let's do something about THAT." I don't know...but maybe that's a starting point.

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Old 02-18-2009, 07:28 AM   #194
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How about some reference to his "flag pole"?
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Old 02-18-2009, 08:41 AM   #195
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Loving this thread. I have never heard of the March 14th holiday but I think it sounds like a fun thing! They deserve a little fun.. right?
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Old 02-18-2009, 12:36 PM   #196
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you are making *me* blush!
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Old 02-18-2009, 03:07 PM   #197
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Subscribing...this is a great thread...wonderful ideas.
I might have to see if I can come up with any ideas.
I didn't know about the March 14 Holiday either....
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Old 02-19-2009, 09:09 AM   #198
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Does anyone have any great ideas for a birthday card for DH with a cake or present on it?
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Old 02-19-2009, 09:19 AM   #199
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Does anyone have any great ideas for a birthday card for DH with a cake or present on it?

LOL...

just thinking about the SNL skit about 'my **** in a box'

WARNING... very suggestive!
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Old 02-19-2009, 09:40 AM   #200
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Does anyone have any great ideas for a birthday card for DH with a cake or present on it?
The saying "Nice Package" from the Twisted Sentiments Set is what pops into my mind...

Or how about "it's your birthday" on the outside and on in inside "so today you can have my cake and eat it too!"
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