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Old 02-11-2008, 05:41 PM   #1
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Default Need funny saying

A friend of mine is finally having her divorce come through, after almost 10 years of fighting, harassment, and anything else you can think of. What can I say, the guy is a shmuck.

Anyway, the day it happens, she wants to send out cards making the announcement, sort of tongue in cheek celebrating. Anyone have any ideas for what to write inside??
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Old 02-11-2008, 05:52 PM   #2
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Emancipation Day (probably spelled wrong, but you get the idea)?
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Old 02-11-2008, 06:01 PM   #3
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Husbands are like guns...

Keep one around long enough & you're going to want to shoot it!

Just letting you know I divorced mine instead.

Or, just make it look like an un-wedding invitiation...

Friend A. Smith & Ex-hubby A. Brown would like to announce the courts have granted their divorce on DATE, 00, 2008. Ms. Smith will be resuming the use of her maiden name.

Personally, I think doing something like a gate card...but with a heart that "breaks" apart instead of the straight cut that opens to the un-wedding announcement would be cute.
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Old 02-11-2008, 06:14 PM   #4
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just a note to let you know that the ball & chain is finally gone!


Pam
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Old 02-11-2008, 06:16 PM   #5
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How about a weight loss card? Something like

"Please congratulate me on my sudden weight loss. As of *3/1/08 I've lost **250 lbs, and I look and feel great!

My divorce has been finalized, and the weight has been lifted from soul, join me as I begin my new life."

*(insert date of divorce)
**(insert his estimated weight)
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Old 02-11-2008, 07:12 PM   #6
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They were having A half off sale at the court house, I just couldn't resist!
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Old 02-11-2008, 07:24 PM   #7
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I really like both Arinka's and ctorina's suggestions! Those are just toooo funny!
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Old 02-11-2008, 07:59 PM   #8
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Quote:

Originally Posted by ArinkaView Post
How about a weight loss card? Something like

"Please congratulate me on my sudden weight loss. As of *3/1/08 I've lost **250 lbs, and I look and feel great!

My divorce has been finalized, and the weight has been lifted from soul, join me as I begin my new life."

*(insert date of divorce)
**(insert his estimated weight)
OMG, I love it!!
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Old 02-12-2008, 01:04 AM   #9
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Quote:

Originally Posted by ctorinaView Post
They were having A half off sale at the court house, I just couldn't resist!


i laughed out loud at this one!! thanks for the chuckle!
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Old 02-12-2008, 03:22 AM   #10
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I have a stamp from www.Sparklensprinkle.com "it is better to have loved and lost than to live with that Psycho for the rest of your life" It's part of the sassy girls set ("don't make me get the flying monkeys" "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it"etc) love that set!
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Old 02-12-2008, 03:32 AM   #11
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Quote:

Originally Posted by ArinkaView Post
How about a weight loss card? Something like

"Please congratulate me on my sudden weight loss. As of *3/1/08 I've lost **250 lbs, and I look and feel great!

My divorce has been finalized, and the weight has been lifted from soul, join me as I begin my new life."

*(insert date of divorce)
**(insert his estimated weight)
I received one of those, thought it was hilarious!
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Old 02-12-2008, 03:47 AM   #12
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can't helpI have only had a couple of friends go through divorceand there was nothing funny about their's
I would love to receive any of these cards they really break the tension some may feel the first time they see someone after hearing of their divorce.
these are really funny
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Old 02-12-2008, 04:07 AM   #13
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How about "I finally gave him the boot" with a boot-shaped card or boot stamp?
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Old 02-12-2008, 04:28 AM   #14
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Badger53186View Post
I have a stamp from www.Sparklensprinkle.com "it is better to have loved and lost than to live with that Psycho for the rest of your life" It's part of the sassy girls set ("don't make me get the flying monkeys" "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it"etc) love that set!
Love this!
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Old 02-12-2008, 05:22 AM   #15
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Quote:

Originally Posted by ArinkaView Post
How about a weight loss card? Something like

"Please congratulate me on my sudden weight loss. As of *3/1/08 I've lost **250 lbs, and I look and feel great!

My divorce has been finalized, and the weight has been lifted from soul, join me as I begin my new life."

*(insert date of divorce)
**(insert his estimated weight)
I did something similar to this for a friend whose divorce was final last summer - I used the Barbella image (the exercising bella - very cute!) on the front, with the sentiment reading "Losing Weight Is Never Easy"; the inside said "But shedding that unwanted 250lb really makes a big difference!". Everyone loved the card.
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Old 02-12-2008, 06:44 AM   #16
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These ideas are so cute, almost make me wish I knew someone going through a divorce. (okay, maybe not, but close!!! not me though, of course!!!)
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Old 02-12-2008, 05:50 PM   #17
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Sorry I didn't pop in to say thank you for all of the suggestions; I was out and about all day. I love all of these ideas! You have come through, and I can't wait to show these to my friend.
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Old 02-12-2008, 06:00 PM   #18
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Badger53186View Post
I have a stamp from www.Sparklensprinkle.com "it is better to have loved and lost than to live with that Psycho for the rest of your life" It's part of the sassy girls set ("don't make me get the flying monkeys" "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it"etc) love that set!
Thank you for the link... I am on the site, but having trouble finding the set you mentioned... any help ~ please send my way. thanks, Pam
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Old 02-12-2008, 07:01 PM   #19
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Oh my gosh! Some great suggestions! Y'all are great!
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Old 02-13-2008, 04:00 AM   #20
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Quote:

Originally Posted by airbornewifeView Post
Thank you for the link... I am on the site, but having trouble finding the set you mentioned... any help ~ please send my way. thanks, Pam
"Originally Posted by Badger53186
I have a stamp from www.Sparklensprinkle.com "it is better to have loved and lost than to live with that Psycho for the rest of your life" It's part of the sassy girls set ("don't make me get the flying monkeys" "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it"etc) love that set!"

YIKES!!! I gave credit to the wrong company. Although I do love sparklensprinkle, this set is from missybdesigns. http://www.missybdesigns.com/sassyandfun.html Sorry for the confusion!
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Old 02-13-2008, 04:49 AM   #21
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Badger53186View Post
"Originally Posted by Badger53186
I have a stamp from www.Sparklensprinkle.com "it is better to have loved and lost than to live with that Psycho for the rest of your life" It's part of the sassy girls set ("don't make me get the flying monkeys" "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it"etc) love that set!"

YIKES!!! I gave credit to the wrong company. Although I do love sparklensprinkle, this set is from missybdesigns. http://www.missybdesigns.com/sassyandfun.html Sorry for the confusion!
Thanks for posting the link. I was going crazy trying to find it at sparklenshine! I am definitely going to be checking out some of the sassy girls!!! TFS
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Old 02-13-2008, 06:01 AM   #22
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Quote:

Originally Posted by ArinkaView Post
How about a weight loss card? Something like

"Please congratulate me on my sudden weight loss. As of *3/1/08 I've lost **250 lbs, and I look and feel great!

My divorce has been finalized, and the weight has been lifted from soul, join me as I begin my new life."

*(insert date of divorce)
**(insert his estimated weight)
OMG!!!!!!! That is absolutely HILARIOUS!! I'm saving that one for future reference. TFS!!!!
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Old 02-13-2008, 06:16 AM   #23
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How about

Brides are beautiful...........but divorces are delicious, white was never my color anyway.

or


picked the wrong guy and gave him the wrong finger
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Old 02-13-2008, 07:35 AM   #24
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Default Mellie! Good ones!

Those two are pretty darn funny! I especially like the wrong guy/wrong finger! I might make that for a friend - if she can ever get this done!
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Old 02-13-2008, 07:52 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by TigerLily2713View Post


picked the wrong guy and gave him the wrong finger
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I'm on the floor!
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Old 02-13-2008, 08:07 AM   #26
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Thank you~ got it now.. those are cool. Pam
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Old 02-14-2008, 11:17 AM   #27
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What a great thread! I had to laugh out loud several times! I have to save these for future reference...not for me though! Divorce is never something to laugh at, but when it's finally over you have to look forward and smile!
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Old 02-14-2008, 11:53 AM   #28
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Badger53186View Post
I have a stamp from www.Sparklensprinkle.com "it is better to have loved and lost than to live with that Psycho for the rest of your life" It's part of the sassy girls set ("don't make me get the flying monkeys" "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it"etc) love that set!
I saw that quote on a T-shirt & had to make it into a card for my b-i-l:
front
inside
He absolutely LOVED it (but hid it in his sock drawer because she was still in the house ( don't ask). Funny thing is one day he mentioned my name & she blew a gasket & forbade him to mention my name in her presence ever again. Hmmm, methinks someone was snooping (& I was glad )
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