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Old 02-25-2012, 02:38 PM   #1
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The post about funeral/thank you cards got me thinking. My father passed away just over 3 weeks ago. I'm devastated. My father was my hero and such an amazing kind, gentle man. I held him as he took his last breath. After his death, I managed to make a simple, somber thank you assembly line type card using the 'oak like' tree from lovely as a tree.

The real point I'm getting to is that I haven't picked up a stamp since, and I have ZERO desire to. I'm a hobbyist demo for a year and a half, and I spend a couple hundred dollars a month on stampin up products. Before this, I HAD to stamp every day, or at least spend a ton of time looking through my catalog, and cards to case. Right now, I don't care if I ever pick up another stamp as long as I live.

I know this is probably just from the depression, but I'm wondering if anyone else has felt this way for a time...and then got that passion back. As if losing my daddy wasn't bad enough, now I've lost the most favorite hobby I've ever had.
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Old 02-25-2012, 04:10 PM   #2
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I have not experienced the emotional termoil you are feeling right now while I have been a stamper. So I can honestly say I have not experienced what you are feeling. But I am sure that it is perfectly normal. Give yourself the break you obviously are needing. It's ok! If you don't feel like stamping, maybe at least pick up your catalog, or magazine, and just sit and browse. It my spark your fire again to pick up a stamp and make a quick card. If not, don't stress over it. Just give it some time. God Bless you.
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Old 02-25-2012, 04:14 PM   #3
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I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Hugs! It sounds like you might just be "burnt out" on stamping. Take a little break like the previous poster said! Try creating just when you feel like it or when you feel inspired and not everyday. In other words, not because you feel like you have to! There was a time when I was on about five design teams. Stamping wasn't fun for me anymore. I felt like I HAD to make cards. I cut back on those responsibilities and now I enjoy stamping again! Best wishes to you, and I hope you find your joy again!
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Old 02-25-2012, 04:19 PM   #4
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I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I'm sending hugs.

It has only been three weeks. Allow yourself some time to grieve. If you still feel the same way in three months--don't worry about that, either. Part of the definition of depression is no longer deriving joy from the things we once enjoyed doing. It is natural to be depressed when you lose a loved one.

Just a year ago I had to help commit my sister to an Alzheimer's care facility (it started in her 60's!). Prior to that, I was involved with trying to protect her from her grown sons who were stealing from her. Even though she is still alive, I have been grieving the slow loss of the person I knew and loved.

My desire to stamp, and my mojo, disappeared for quite awhile. In fact, for a whole year I didn't have anything to upload to my gallery here on SCS. But it is slowly coming back to me. I get frustrated that it is almost like starting over, but I know that the more I make cards, the better I will get (at least I hope so!).

Hang in there--and don't get rid of your stamping stuff. I'm pretty certain that given a little time, you'll be back doing the hobby you love so much. And be sure to continue to read and comment here on SCS, even if you don't feel like stamping right away. The enthusiasm here is infectious and will soon tempt you to come back...
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Old 02-25-2012, 05:45 PM   #5
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Nearly twelve months ago I wrote this post about a natural disaster that affected my region.

A Day (a week) I’ll Never Forget….. « Cards by Misstreez

After that event I would look at all my hobby stuff in puzzlement, wondering would I ever get the desire to make something with any of it. I was under enough stress already and I didn't need to give myself something else to concern myself with so I decided to just leave it alone for the time being. I needed time to get my head together. This is how the next post read, three months later.

100 days later. « Cards by Misstreez



I bought a couple of new things hoping it'd inspire me. I couldn't make a card though. As stange as it seems, it felt really alien to think about getting a piece of cardstock and actually cutting it, and then getting the tape out to put it together. So I made paper flowers instead. Lots and lots of paper flowers. By now Mother's Day was approaching and I made myself make a card. It didn't have to be a great card, it just had to be a card. I just had to get over the hurdle of cutting and adhering the cardstock.

After that I was almost manic for the next six months buying new paper crafting toys and making lots of cards. Now, twelve months on a feel I've got a balance back in my life. But there were moments early on after the event when I seriously doubted I'd ever have the desire to create again.

Maybe you might be able to relate to some of this. I suggest just let yourself be in the present and don't worry too much about things like hobbies. A death of a close loved one can change a lot about the way we view things for a while. Take care of yourself first and the rest will follow in time.
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Old 02-25-2012, 07:26 PM   #6
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I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure what you're feeling is only natural, and since you really loved your hobby, I imagine one day you will feel the desire to stamp again.

Like many others, I've had times when I didn't want to pursue this hobby any longer - and with no discernible, tangible reason. But my interest has renewed every time, as mysteriously as it had left me.

I'm sure your mind and your heart have simply shifted their priorities with such a monumental change in your life and that's only natural. All in good time. I hope your hobby brings you joy again one day.
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Old 02-25-2012, 08:06 PM   #7
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I too recently lost my Daddy, 4 weeks ago today. It has been very hard on me, adjusting to an empty house. My daughter is a college freshman 1500 miles away and my son moved 800 miles away the day before my dad died. My husband is gone 12 hours a day, so it is just me at home. Thank God for my puppy Stella, she is my constant companion. I have had no motivation to go anywhere or do anything, but I did start stamping again this week. The one thing that helps me get back into the swing of stamping is the daily challenges. Even if you don't feel like stamping, looking at the daily challenge threads and galleries will keep you in touch. And one day you will be inspired to stamp again. Just give it time, this is all very new, for both of us. Blessings to you.
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Old 02-25-2012, 08:23 PM   #8
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't have as devastating a loss as yours, but I feel like I can relate a little.
Six years ago my husband walked out on me and our two children, leaving me with a mortgage and no job. I was a stay at home mom for many years, so I was totally unprepared for it. At that time, I did very well with decorative folk art painting. I loved it, my customers loved my work and it made me happy. I dropped everything and never picked up a paintbrush to do that kind of painting again. I longed for it, missed painting so much, but just couldn't get back into it. It might have been the bad memories associated with it that kept me from starting up again.
FF several years, and I tried a few other crafts as a creative outlet. For a while I did jewelry, then polymer clay and then stamping/card making. I've been stamping ever since and I still love it.
I guess my advice to you would be to leave it alone for a while. Don't worry about it, don't sell anything off, just let it sit. If you feel like doing something, try another craft for a while. If after a while you feel the desire to stamp again, at least you will still have all your stuff, ready to go.
Take care of yourself. {HUGS}
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Old 02-25-2012, 09:57 PM   #9
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My sympathies to you in your loss. I didn't experience this when I lost my father as I was only 19 at the time. But I lost my mother 9 years later, and I was devastated. For many months, I didn't have any interests in creative endeavors. What got me going again was an invitation from a friend to have a crop night (I was a scrapbooker first). It got just the tiniest of creative juices flowing again, and I started out scrapbooking my mother's early life. I ended up making a tribute album of her, and then went on to do one for my father.

Give it time. It has been 18 years since I lost my mom, and some days it still hurts to know she is gone. Someday, sooner than you think, your desire will return. Perhaps not as a stamper, but in some other creative outlet. Don't give up your supplies yet. Also, you indicate you are a hobbyist demo - is there the ability to take a leave of absence where your status is "suspended" so that you don't have to make minimums just now? If yes, you might want to do that so that it takes pressure off you from "having" to stamp.
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Old 02-25-2012, 09:58 PM   #10
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Maybe leave it alone for a little while but then come back to it again with a new sense of purpose.

I experienced something similar when my Dad passed away three years ago. To get back into it, I decided to make 5 cards a month and send them to people I knew "just because." (Not necessarily friends but all kinds of people.) I sent them to people like the mail lady, a coach and teacher, even the doctor who treated my Dad. It actually really helped me feel happy again because I was sending cards out to people just to brighten their day. And seeing them surprised and happy made me happy.

Now isn't the time to decide. I posted on facebook not too long ago- Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling. Don't get me wrong, your feelings about your Dad are not temporary. You will always love him and ALWAYS miss him. But as time goes on, you learn a new sense of normal and eventually want to do things again. You might be glad your crafty stuff is still there waiting for you. If not, you can always decide then to try something different.

My deepest sympathy to you and your family during this time.
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Old 02-25-2012, 10:25 PM   #11
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Great words by some really great ladies!! Just want to send my sympathies and Big {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} I agree with candylou, don't do it because you feel you have to, your creativity will come back, let it come naturally. I also really liked what Gina K. Designs said about sending several cards to strangers because it made them happy, it also made her happy. Maybe that's how you can look at making a couple of your first cards to get back into it when your ready!!

Much love to you, Belle Donne (Italian for Beautiful Women) one of my clients tells me that everytime she has an appt.

XXX-OOO
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Old 02-25-2012, 11:07 PM   #12
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I am so very sorry for your loss. I just want to encourage you to give yourself some time to grieve and let your heart lead you.

You asked if anyone else had ever lost their passion for stamping and then gotten it back. My answer is YES. Over the past two years I've had two pregnancy losses, one in second trimester in late 2010 and one in first trimester in early 2011. During that time there was no way I was going to do anything creative (it was all I could do to just function and take care of our toddler son). When I got pregnant again, I was petrified and I knew I needed a positive outlet to help me through the emotions, and that's when I really started stamping again. In December 2011 I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. I really think stamping helped me get through those emotional highs and lows during pregnancy, but it was certainly something I could not do in the midst of my grief prior to that. Now my toddler son and my infant daughter keep me so busy that I don't get to stamp as much as I'd like to, but I don't mind!!

I think it's very normal to feel the way you do right now, and I don't think it's a permanent situation at all. Just know that you're not alone and you will enjoy your hobby again sometime, but for now you just need to get through this difficult time.

Hugs to you!
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Old 02-25-2012, 11:46 PM   #13
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Wow, this is so striking similar to what I am going through! My step-Mom died on Dec 30th and I have not stamped since. I have absolutely no desire...and it feels like a chore if I try to make myself do it. I used to keep my blog updated weekly...now only 2 posts since then (and only because I had to).

While I don't necessarily think I am depressed, I think I am stressed and by the time I can stamp each day, I am just ready to veg out on the couch, which is a bit unlike me.

I think at some point we will feel like getting back to something we loved so much prior but before that time comes...the rubber will sit patiently waiting! And that gives me some hope...nothing in my stash has an expiration date...and it is OK for it to sit and wait for me to come back to it!
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Old 02-26-2012, 07:25 AM   #14
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Thanks so much for your condolences and your advice. I have thought a lot about what each of you said. I'm going to follow it and not worry about taking some time off. I love stamping so much that my love for it will come back show how some way. I know it will in time. Thanks again
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Old 02-26-2012, 07:45 AM   #15
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I am sorry for your loss. it is such a hard time for you now to feel like you have to be "creative" etc. I loss my hubby who made my stamp corner and I recall sitting there and not being able to create a thing. It was a hard point in my life... Eventually though, I found that my card making saved me.. It might sound "dramatic'' to some, but it really was soothing to make cards just for "me" and not worry about what they looked like etc. I found it gave me some joy and eventually it got easier and easier to do it again with PURE JOY.
Everyone grieves differently, so just put your stuff away for awhile and you may be surprised that you pick it up when you are ready.

Hugs to you...
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Old 02-26-2012, 08:47 AM   #16
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Don't rush back into anything, I just suffered the loss of my step-mother, and because of the situation it was extremely traumatic, am still dealing with what happened after four months.

Having said that, and remembering that everyone is different, I have found great relief by doing an art journal, just putting things together without any thought to a project, rather, playing with color, tools, products and writing, lots and lots of writing.

The art journal has helped me to explore not just my creative side, but also my inner spiritual side....I know that sounds weird, but somehow just putting pages together with all sorts of colors, techniques and what have you, and writing, has been a great help.

Am so sorry for your loss and hope that slowly things get better, just don't force yourself to get back to much yet, and try something new as well, sometimes that helps bring about other healings. By new, try sewing, cooking, gardening....other things that you like but maybe have not done before or haven't done for a while.

Take care.
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Old 02-26-2012, 09:42 AM   #17
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So sorry for your loss and agree with what everyone has told you, just take your time and you will know when that time is too start again, even if it means taking baby steps.
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Old 02-26-2012, 11:27 AM   #18
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May you be comforted by all the kindness here and when the day comes that you pick up a stamp, ink it, and put it to paper, remember all your friends here, and feel surrounded with comfort and creativity to heal your heart's sorrow. Jeanne
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Old 02-26-2012, 11:29 AM   #19
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I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. Just wanted to send you some
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
In time you will get that creative bug back, for now just take care of yourself.
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Old 02-26-2012, 11:55 AM   #20
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I had the same thing happen when my daughter passed away. You just feel like you can't get anything done, it's Totally a normal part of the grieving process. At first I started making crocheted hats for the sick kids hospital she was at b/c they didn't have a hat her size when she was there. They had to go out and buy one for her. I made all the hats in her memory and pray over each one that goes to the hospital. It has helped tremendously in the grieving process. It's been 5 years since she passed away and I'm still making them. I've just recently started to make cards for the nurses to hand out to the children who have to spend their birthdays in the hospital. I have a blog that the parents can go to for support and to see the little girl who is my motivation to make these thing in memory of.

Is there a place your dad was commited to? A cause he really supported? Perhaps you could make cards for them or sell the cards you make and donate the money in his honour. I love that I can keep the memory of my sweet Ruby alive by bringing a smile to a little child's face when they get a hat or a card. Maybe start with one card and talk to your dad while you make it, talk about your feelings, you special memories of him, etc. It will help. (((((hugs)))))

Dee =)
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Old 02-26-2012, 02:37 PM   #21
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Quote:

Originally Posted by jeannemlehrmanView Post
May you be comforted by all the kindness here and when the day comes that you pick up a stamp, ink it, and put it to paper, remember all your friends here, and feel surrounded with comfort and creativity to heal your heart's sorrow. Jeanne
Gosh, I could not say it any better..... I lost my sweet sister a few months ago. I came back and stamped my heart out for breast cancer month as that was how she died. After that, I felt like I couldn't do anything... Now I am finally feeling more like myself and find some comfort in my stamping. We are all here for you in spirit as you take things a day at a time. Let us know how you are doing... Hugs.
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Old 02-26-2012, 03:49 PM   #22
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Please accept my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. It is so devastating to lose someone we love.

Since, Dec. 2003, my Mom passed away at 64, 8-2006 my brother at 42 and 9-2011, my sister at 48. After each death, I spent time away from stamping, crocheting, cooking and just about every other thing I normally enjoyed.

It's exhausting emotionally, physically, mentally to lose someone. In addition, if they have been ill for a period of time (as was the case with my family members) you have already "used up" so much of yourself helping to take care of them that you just don't have much left to give.

Cards do take energy. I'm sure you feel like you're "running on empty", or at least I did for awhile. Please give yourself time to recharge your batteries. You need that. As Gina K. stated above, it does take time to find that "new normal". You'll get back to doing the things you previously enjoyed when the time is right. I hope that right now you'll take time to do things that help fill you back up.

God's blessings to you.
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Old 02-26-2012, 04:36 PM   #23
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So, so sorry for your loss. I agree with the other posters that what you are feeling is normal, and you shouldn't feel bad about not wanting to stamp right now--the feeling may come back in time, and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. Everyone grieves a little differently, and whether this means throwing yourself into a new hobby or just taking some time to take stock of your life and what has happened, get through the days however you need to and be proud of that. I'm glad you shared your feelings here instead of keeping them inside. SCS will be around whenever you need it, whether you're stamping or not! Take care.
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Old 02-26-2012, 05:04 PM   #24
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Hi, please accept my sympathy as well for your loss. I strangely enough went through the very thing you are going through now about 2 yrs ago when I lost my father. I had moved in to take care of him and had set up my craft room in the basement and after his passing I didn't have any desire to go into that room. It took me awhile and the urge to stamp and create came back slowly and now when I create something I think of some of the comments he made when I made things, it was either praise, a joke or 'not another dog!' etc. These are good memories and I enjoy having them when I craft in the basement of our old family house.
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Old 02-26-2012, 05:32 PM   #25
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Dear mommyto3, I know that we all wish we could be with you face to face to put our arms around you. I am so sorry for the loss of your father. To be with someone as they draw their last breath is an experience that will change how you look at life. Add to that the fact that he was your father and that magnifies your experience greatly.

I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. As some others have done, I will relate two instances in my life when I thought I would never stamp again. First, a divorce after 20 years of marriage. I stored my things away for many years. Met a wonderful man and married, but still no stamping. Then we moved into town and I began to stamp again for two years. Then our town was hit by a devastating flood. Firemen rescued us in a pontoon-like boat and took us to a shelter. When we came back I threw out tons of stamping "stuff" that I would never be able to replace. We had to take our house apart to the beams and sub-floor. So, crafting supplies were in a portable storage unit in our driveway through summer and winter months. Once we finally moved back into our house it took a few years for me to begin stamping again.

While neither of these are close to what you are experiencing now, they were for me, very emotional experiences. If you can't even fathom picking up a stamp at this point, my advice is to set them aside as you are going through this journey of grief. As so many have mentioned, you might at some point want to begin stamping for others as an outlet. Please don't get rid of your craft supplies. If you feel the need, box them up and put them in a corner. Someday you will be happy to have them. Maybe there is some characteristic about your father that you inherited from him that caused you to be artistically inclined or that speaks to the reason that you like to stamp. If so, you will be reminded of him each time your create.

God bless and keep you and your family.
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Old 02-26-2012, 05:59 PM   #26
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I just can't tell each of you how much your words of encouragement mean to me. I don't know how long before I will want to stamp again, but I realize that we have all suffered great losses. They take a great emotional toll on us, but we work our way through it. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks again.
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Old 02-27-2012, 02:28 PM   #27
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Hi again, just because you can't bring yourself to stamping right now, does not mean you can't lean on us for support, so stay in contact on the board and we are here to talk if you need us. Lots of Love and Hugs
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Old 02-28-2012, 04:37 AM   #28
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Thank you
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