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I've always had hobbies throughout my life. As a very young child, I taught myself how to knit using twigs from my front yard which watching Morticia Adams on the Adams family. When my mom saw that, she bought knitting needles for me. That led to crochet, macrame, counted cross-stitching, ceramics, sewing, and on and on. Stamping quickly became my favorite of all times, and the $$ I have spent on it (thousands and thousands) tells the tale. I signed up as a hobbyist demo. I had to stamp every single day, even if it was only 5 minutes.
Everything changed when my father died in January. At that time, all of my stamping revolved around thank you notes from acts of sympathy. I just didn't want to stamp anymore. I thought it would get better. There have been a couple of days since then when I have stamped, but not many. I just don't even want to think about it anymore.
I don't do my daily...or more...visit to the galleries. I've unsubscribed to almost every blog emails that I couldn't wait to open every morning. It makes me so sad to have lost something I loved so much, but I just can't go near it anymore.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Will I get my desire back? I will lose my demo status after this quarter if I don't spend my quota. Since January I spent my $300 even though I haven't used any of it. Now I don't even want to open my catalog, and I certainly don't want to waste money that could be spent on things I can/will use. The bottom line is that I want my love back.
My condolences for your loss! I lost my husband in January, so I have an understanding of what you are feeling.
The first few months after his death, I didn't stamp much. Even when I started again, my cards weren't very good. But my family expects handmade cards from me, so that's what they got!
You can always sign up to be a demo again, so losing your demoship shouldn't be a concern. I think you will get your passion back, it's just going to take time.
Are you a member of the WRAK forum? If so, maybe if you grant a few wishes, that will help you regain your passion.
First, I want to let you know I am so sorry for your loss! I am a "fixer" and when we lost a family member, there was no way I could "fix" it. That's a hard thing to resolve, just as I know your loss of your father and your passion is.
For me, I agree that letting a demo status go would be good. As the previous writer mentioned, you can get it back and this might reduce some stress regarding "got to get back to it.". It might also give you a chance to look at some other companies and their designers. A fres perspective?
Apparently, I think the previous writer is a genius because I like the idea of making cards for a RAK. The last memories you have of making cards include grief and obligation. Randomly doing something for others when there are no expectations helps me when I am down and running on low.
Finally, are you OK in other parts of your life? Eating? Day to day routines? Doing things with your children? Seeing friends? If not, perhaps it's time to get help from a grief therapist?
But mostly, I want to say I am sorry for the loss of your dad.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm not an expert in psychology, but I think you're still (understandably) experiencing some depression. I think you're also associating stamping with a task that was very unpleasant, and every time you even think about it, those feelings take over and prevent you from doing something you used to enjoy a great deal. Again, totally understandable.
I would suggest making a "happy" card. Is someone's birthday coming up? Maybe a few gift tags or a friendship card? I would stay away from thank-you cards for awhile, even if they are for happier reasons.
And don't worry about your demoship. Stampin' Up doesn't seem to be going anywhere, so you can always sign up again if you want to. You don't need any added pressure right now, so just relax and use what you WANT to use, and not what you feel you HAVE to use. That can suck the fun right out of the things we enjoy.
I hope you find the joy in stamping again, and that each day finds you closer to happiness. {hugs}
I am so sorry for your loss. I too, lost my Dad, many years ago, and I still understand your pain.
Pick up a stamp that is HAPPY...by that, I mean, one that can make you smile. I have a great stamp of a bicycle with a basket of flowers that I love, and it makes such a pretty card. Make a HAPPY card, even if you struggle with it. Even if you only make 1 card, it's a start. Don't worry about SU! If you want to rejoin at some point in time, it will still be there. It may take you some time to get your mojo back, but eventually, you will. good luck....and take one day at a time, one stamp at a time,,,one card at a time. It will return.
Like everyone else, I am so sorry for your loss, and agree completely with how scrapjanny sees it, you associate stamping now with such a sad time.Seeing your name, are your children a suitable age for you to craft with? Could you maybe get your mojo back, and some happier memory associations from stamping/scrapping/cardmaking with them? Maybe the run up now to Christmas (which will be hard for you) could be helped with teaching/helping them to make cards & decorations? I agree too with the demo advice- nothing is harder to get inspired by than 'having' to do something- I don't think any of us do our best when we are doing something because we 'have to', not because we want to, I know I certainly don't.
Maybe call up some memories of good times with your Dad, every time you get a little down?
Hi, Deborah. I wanted to say how sorry I am to know that you've lost your father. Time will help you but I'm sure he will remain in your heart forever. When I lost a younger sister to cancer last fall I was just devastated. I thought I would never feel normal again. I sat down right away to make simple thank you cards and they are still sitting there. I was totally unable to write out a single one it was so painful for me. I threw myself into the challenge cards for MD Anderson breast cancer patients upon my return so I was able to create those as a tribute to my sister. Otherwise I would not have picked up a stamp. Mourning has no normal timeline and the creative process may not work well during this time. Give yourself the gift of compassion and allow the process to continue at the pace that is right for you. If you are able to handle the necessary parts of your life with your family you are doing great. The stamping will come when it is right for you. I always CASE someone I admire when I get stuck so you can give that a try if you want to make some birthdays. Hugs and prayers coming your way.
Grief affects everyone so differently. The best piece of advice I got was just to be patient with myself. I love stamping and when I lost my three month old daughter, I got back on the horse and just continued stamping as best I could. I could not make baby cards and now five years later, I can almost do it but not quite. I did lose one of my hobbies for about a year. I could no longer sing without breaking down. It took me a long while to love it again. Because I could not sing, I filled that void with playing the piano. You just have to figure it out. I am sad that stamping is not an outlet. My guess is that over time, your love for it will come back especially if you can separate it from your grief. I have found that certain things can trigger loss, so you find out what those things are and try to avoid it...although the triggers may change. Good luck and just be patient with yourself.
Thanks to everyone. I really appreciate it. I made a similar post a couple of months after my father died in regards to losing my desire to stamp. I just kept hoping and hoping that it would return by now. If anything I feel farther away from it than ever. It just "bumfuzzles" me that I could go from absolutely, totally loving stamping more than anything, and now I can't even look in the catalog anymore.
I know that in the beginning it was because my stamping centered around the thank yous to those who expressed sympathy for my family. It's just seems like I will never get past that association. I've tried making birthday cards, but it hasn't helped. It feels as though I will never get past that association. Maybe some Christmas projects will help.
Thanks again. I'm also so very sorry for those who have lost someone so close to them. It's just so all encompassing, that it's hard to believe sometimes.
First, let me also say how sorry I am for your loss. Second...have you considered stamping something besides cards? I'm thinking along the lines of a journal (where the stamping doesn't have to be the main focus, but just adds to the page), maybe a home decor project, or maybe some type of holiday gift bags? Maye if the stamping isn't cards, you can find "joy" in a new form of art that has some stamping in it, without the stamping being the focus.
Give yourself time. Every heart heals differently.
I have thought about gift bags of some sort. I'm a teacher, and I've thought about doing something for or with my class. Of my three children, only one of them is interested in stamping. She is 10. I have helped her if she needs it, but most of the time she wants to do it by herself to surprise me. I think a class project might be a place to start. Thanks.
I am so sorry for your loss! I too love my hobby so much and would be at a loss if I thought I may feel different about it in the future, it is just part of what makes me me. Life sure throws some curve balls at us, but without my stamping friends I wouldn't have pulled through so well. Do you have a group you like to stamp with? Maybe just getting into a swap or something that wouldn't have a commitment.
Also, maybe using your supplies for mixed media would help.....maybe you just need a different use/function for your things. I have been so inspired by Donna Downey's blog. She has many online courses that she offers and it is such a new and fresh way to use our stamping supplies.
Your passion will return, it has just taken a detour. (((((((Hugs)))))))
I am sorry for your loss; I lost my father many years ago and I still miss him. Time will help heal your heart. I understand your loss of passion for card making. Last weekend I spent 7 hours in the ER with my husband before he was admitted to the hospital for 3 days to stop a GI bleed. Since then I keep saying I want to make a card but I haven't had the energy or desire to even go into my craft room. And for me, this was a hospitalization not a death in the family. For now, browse the gallery and maybe there will be a card that will inspire you to CASE it.
So sorry for the loss of your father. I understand the lack of 'desire' to craft while you are still grieving. I lost my hubby and for awhile I couldn't craft like I used to. He built my stamping space, and was my biggest "supporter" of my hobby. I did go to the SU convention that year and tried to continue as I was. I had to stop. I just wasn't "happy". I found crafting helped me during his illness to distract me, and I think I was tying the two together in my head. Eventually, I started out of the blue, took to it again without realizing the joy was "back". Now, I do it for the love of the hobby, and while I have sad moments thinking back, I do find enjoyment again. I remarried and am blessed to have someone who also encourages me and he is moving my space from the basement to my own room to make new memories. I say, just keep browsing and maybe do some cards for NO reason, other than for fun. Don't pressure yourself. It will come back when you are ready. Hugs to you.
Hugs for you. I am so sorry. I lost my Father too many years ago when I was a teenager. Losing a Father is terrible grief.
I was going through a terrible grieving process this past few years when I lost my little girl. It's been a few years back since I lost her. It's not something recent. I am a big into art and crafts like you. I loved your knitting needle story. I lost all interest in crafts when I was going through my grieving process. I had a friend tell me I was depressed. I was so angry with her. I am not a depressed kind of person. I am really happy go lucky and have a huge joy for life.
I was depressed. :( Really, really horrible dark depression. It was due to grief. I associated everything with that grief. Pick up a needlework project I would remember. Pick up a stamp & I couldn't really stamp it. I force myself too and that made it worse. It took many years to get over the grief. I guess I am slow healer. :(
I took some time off last year. I read different kind of blogs, watched You Tube videos and just took time to study and not really create. It was good for me. I am back to crafting. It's not the same. I have learned it will never be again but it's better I think. I grew in a different direction as an artist. I am just not that artist any more. I don't want to be. It's just too painful.
The only thing that made me better was that I finally said I can't do this anymore and I let it go. I let myself grieve. I still have moments. A couple times this Summer I wasn't feeling too good and I just let myself grieve and not create.
What also helped me was finding a creative group of women who inspire me. I belonged to a lot of boards and groups of women who were not inspiring and a few mean girls too. That just does not help at all when you feel down. It's not like I wanted to talk about the loss of my daughter. I don't mean that. I could be in these groups and they were bashing a company for example and it would actually set me off. Isn't that weird? That's grief for you. It's just the weirdest things that trigger you and you don't want to do anything creative ever again. I am around inspiring people now who don't like drama. That has helped a lot.
Hugs to you. Would facing the loss head on be a good thing? You could round up some photos and make a scrapbook/journal about your dad for your eyes only. No rules, SU only, etc., just you and your heart and your memories. If you have any stamps that remind you of your dad (cars or sports, for example), you could start the first page with a simple stamped image and a story.
Mary Beth
My sympathy to you too. I can't really add to what everybody else has said. I'm sure it's part of the grieving process, and I'm pretty sure too that in time you will get your passion back. I stopped playing piano when my mother died, and I don't think I touched it for almost a year till I had to practice for a wedding. It's not something you can hurry, but some day you'll find yourself with an idea for a card and you'll be back there creating again.
Teaching yourself to knit with twigs - wow, I am impressed!
I send my condolences to you, also, as you experience the loss of a loved one. I really do believe you cannot be creative at anything when you are depressed. I would address the problem from that viewpoint and would try to get help from a Dr. I wish you better days in the future.
I know that people work out their grief in different ways and on different schedules. To start, I will tell you that you should NOT listen to those who (after only a few weeks) think you should be getting-over-it. There is a time to to plant and a time to harvest; a time to grieve and a time for joy. Joy will come. That said, instead of just trying to get over it, maybe you could find that joy by doing something crafty for someone else. Making cards for operation blessing or look right here on SCS for SEPTEMBER 2012 MISSION ~ CARDS FOR A CAUSE. I know that for me, my joy after a great loss returned after I started packing shoe shoe boxes for Operation Christmas Child. As I filled those shoe boxes with toothpaste, socks, toys and trinkets, I began to think that maybe I could make small stamped coloring kits for the kids as well. Then I started making fun (but simple) Christmas cards that they could color and packed a few crayons in the box. Find something that allows you to give to someone else and your joy for stamping will naturally return. Don't force it.. just grieve and then grow from it. I imagine it is what your father would want.
__________________ Louise Bergmann DuMontAuthor, Speaker, Serious About Her Coffee, Lover of all that is Chocolate...Worshiper of El Shaddai (The All Sufficient One)
Last edited by Ldumont999; 09-17-2012 at 10:34 AM..
Reason: error
Well, you mentioned that you have always had hobbies that you loved. Everyone hits a plateau and when that happens sometimes it helps to just switch gears.
Don't stamp if you don't want to. But don't get rid of your stuff either. Let it sit. And sit, and sit. If something else peaks your interest take a shot at it - maybe something you haven't done in a long time. It seems that creativity begets even more creativity.
If that doesn't feel right, then just don't do anything for a while. You are probably so emotionally drained that nothing sounds good. So be it.
Some days maybe all you can manage is to watch tv or read a book. Some days you might not want to do a damn thing. Then you might wake up some morning and decide you want to take up pottery. Then it will be time to dump your paper crafting and spend your money on something new.
Try not to fret about it. That's the last thing you need, is to be fretting about a hobby.
__________________ A good dog, a sewing machine, and an old guitar......
I want my passion back!
