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Old 03-01-2011, 09:35 PM   #1
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The other night while at dinner with another couple, the subject of my love for all things paper and ink came up. The wife said to me, "I just don't see how you have the time to do that." The way it was said made me feel like something was 'wrong' with me, according to her I guess
Then, a few minutes later she proceeded to tell me about all the TV shows she likes to watch. I just wanted to say, "I don't know how you have the time to watch all that TV," but I didn't
I was just curious if the rest of you get to endure comments from people about what we all love to do? Pretty much everyone else loves and appreciates getting my projects so I'm not really worried about it. I just found it a bit amusing
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Old 03-01-2011, 10:11 PM   #2
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I hear comments like that a lot. Everybody has their hobbies and I choose to create instead of watch tv. I think people who make comments like that don't appreciate what goes into making something by hand. I don't necessarily care for all types of handwork but I do appreciate the thought, time, care, and effort that went into making a project. Really, I think people who say things like that are missing something really awesome and worthwhile in their lives and they may look at us with just a twinge of envy. At least that's what I like to tell myself!
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Old 03-01-2011, 10:26 PM   #3
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oh yes I hear it all the night, especially when they make comments on how can i spend my money on stamps or paper, they just don't get it, but if I like than it dont matter haha
they will never understand how we feel with a new pack of paper or new stamps. its our joy
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Old 03-02-2011, 01:41 AM   #4
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It's the same logic as I don't understand why some people can be couch potatoes or like to buy branded. It's just meaningless to me. The former being aimless and the later is having an identity crisis.
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Old 03-02-2011, 01:50 AM   #5
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I don't mind admitting that it bothers me that some my "friends" make fun of my hobby. Then I remember that there are friends, and then there are friends, if you know what I mean.

Real friends are supportive. My real friends may not understand my hobby and may think I've taken leave of my senses, but they ask me about it, save the cards I send them and take a real interest. Just I like do about their book writing, running, and egg decorating!

Everyone else is background!! I don't mind spending time with the background friends. We have fun, etc but I know that they aren't the "real" friends.
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Old 03-02-2011, 02:31 AM   #6
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We all have our addictions! Some have TV, shopping, alcohol!
That's what I say, when i am feeling particularly snarky...
I probably would have said something to the "wife" who said that, but hey that's me

And yes, obviously, it does bother me!
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Old 03-02-2011, 03:51 AM   #7
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The vast majority of my friends and family members have creative/artistic hobbies themselves, so I rarely hear negative or snarky comments. The ones who don't have those types of hobbies are usually appreciative of the things I make, especially if I make them something that relates to their hobbies, e.g. a "way to go" card for finishing their first triathlon or a cute card with a friend's favorite breed of dog. I make a conscious effort to be encouraging and supportive, and for the most part, that's the kind of attitude I get from other people.
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Old 03-02-2011, 04:35 AM   #8
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I hear comments like that all the time. My own daughter included. I gave her a tumble tile coaster in her stocking at Christmas, and she gave it back! Everyone else loved theirs. It does bother me when I hear negative comments about my crafting and how I could better spend the money on more meaningful things, but gosh, HELLO! This is meaningful! Oh man . . . I could so rant LOL
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Old 03-02-2011, 05:28 AM   #9
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I have been pretty lucky, most of the people that I know have not had negative comments about what I do, in fact when some of the ladies at Church seen some of my cards they were amazed at what I do and they complement me or let others know about my talent every chance that they get. The only negative comments that I have had have been from my mom who loves my cards but can't understand how I can spend so much money on my hobby. I just tell her that one stamp cost about the same amount as her smokes do, the only difference is that I can use my stamp thousands of times where her smokes once she has used them they are gone. We all have our vices and habits, mine just happens to be healthy and relaxing for me.
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Old 03-02-2011, 06:06 AM   #10
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Pfft. I'm a cyclist. I'm used to getting all sorts of derogatory comments about how I choose to spend my free time. I'm really good at biting my tongue, but every once in a while something snarky slips out.
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Old 03-02-2011, 06:24 AM   #11
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Pfft. I'm a cyclist. I'm used to getting all sorts of derogatory comments about how I choose to spend my free time. I'm really good at biting my tongue, but every once in a while something snarky slips out.
Following up to add my "snarky response" is usually something like "I don't watch TV." That's not exactly true, I do watch TV shows but I watch them on-line when I can, and often watch them as I'm riding my bicycle indoors in the dark winter months.

It's rare that I respond with something truly mean. I just don't understand why people are so judgemental about everything. Seriously? People make comments about card making as a hobby? It's like no matter what hobby you choose, if it's not how they spend their free time they are going to be negative.
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Old 03-02-2011, 06:41 AM   #12
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I get appreciative remarks and compliments on my cards, scrapbooks, and other projects. No one's ever said anything snarky to me about it. BUT I get LOTS of comments about the time I spend working out. I LOVE to move, so I've been getting up at 5am since the day I left college 13 years ago and working out for about 2 hours. I mostly run long distances during that time and I've been a runner for 21 years so it's very much in my blood. But people - all the time - say, "How do you have time for that? You're nuts!" Well, that's why I get up at 5am, before everyone else does, and it's also why I feel so amazingly healthy!

I'm with those who have said they feel like saying, "How much TV do you watch? Because that's probably where all your time is going." I can't stand TV (goes back to the liking to move thing).
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Old 03-02-2011, 07:07 AM   #13
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I guess i am one of the lucky ones who has had NO bad coments...infact people seem to be interested in my hobby and my hubby by the way is a crafter too!!! xx jo xx
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Old 03-02-2011, 07:13 AM   #14
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I get this all the time. I've started to just smile and say "I've found that people make time for something they enjoy" and leave it at that. It usually starts them thinking and they either agree or change the subject. It might be kind of snarky, but I figure they started it.
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Old 03-02-2011, 07:15 AM   #15
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I don't think it would have been mean or snarky for you to comment on her TV watching habit EXACTLY as she commented on your crafting. Seriously. What a perfect opening. And I'm not saying it to be mean, but it's a great way to get a point across.

You can spend time saying things like, "we all make time for what's important to us"...but then that begs an argument regarding "importance" of paper crafts, and things could turn ugly. But to give back her same comment, with a smile on your face of course, might give her a "lightbulb moment" as Oprah says.
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Old 03-02-2011, 07:19 AM   #16
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I am somewhat surprised that so many of you are getting negative comments??!! How sad...people obviously feel the need to be judgemental over things they don't understand.
I have heard a few questions along the lines of why I spend that much money on stuff, but really nothing truly negative. In fact one of my closest friends thought it was truly rediculous that someone would spend so much money on PAPER CRAFTS...and made light of it quite often, UNTIL she saw exactly what I do. Now she has me make her stuff all the time...and has been overheard telling other people that I pulled her into the DARK SIDE...LOL
It's all relative...if someone wonders WHY, HOW, or WHAT THE HECK...I would be thinking *right back atcha* over whatever it is they do for enjoyment or relaxation.
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Old 03-02-2011, 07:34 AM   #17
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I've definitely heard some negative offhand comments about my use of my time and so on, my personal favorite: "Making cards must save you so much money". If they only knew. BUT, positive comments I've accidentally overheard (I seriously think I was blessed to hear them, because I had been backing off from stamping & cardmaking due to feeling like people were insulting me for it) so far outweighed the negative that I don't even think about them anymore! I had been making birthday cards for my "team" at work and was starting to feel badly about due to the occasional jerk and was considering stopping after I made a card for the last member of the team to get one. He was in his early/mid-20s and a partying/barhopping type so I figured he wouldn't even care if I made him one. But I made it for him and he was EXCITED by it and hung it up on his cubicle wall! I was near his desk and heard him on the phone with a vendor telling them about the card I had made and how that was what he had looked forward to the most on his birthday because it was so cool that I made them myself! I found out later he even stuck up for me when someone else said something about me wasting my time! He kept that up on his wall along with the one from the next year, and put them back on the wall any time he had to move cubicles. I quit working there, but I still make him cards (which reminds me, I really think his birthday is tomorrow!) because I think of his reaction any time I get a "negative" comment.
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Old 03-02-2011, 07:42 AM   #18
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I've definitely heard some negative offhand comments about my use of my time and so on, my personal favorite: "Making cards must save you so much money". If they only knew. BUT, positive comments I've accidentally overheard (I seriously think I was blessed to hear them, because I had been backing off from stamping & cardmaking due to feeling like people were insulting me for it) so far outweighed the negative that I don't even think about them anymore! I had been making birthday cards for my "team" at work and was starting to feel badly about due to the occasional jerk and was considering stopping after I made a card for the last member of the team to get one. He was in his early/mid-20s and a partying/barhopping type so I figured he wouldn't even care if I made him one. But I made it for him and he was EXCITED by it and hung it up on his cubicle wall! I was near his desk and heard him on the phone with a vendor telling them about the card I had made and how that was what he had looked forward to the most on his birthday because it was so cool that I made them myself! I found out later he even stuck up for me when someone else said something about me wasting my time! He kept that up on his wall along with the one from the next year, and put them back on the wall any time he had to move cubicles. I quit working there, but I still make him cards (which reminds me, I really think his birthday is tomorrow!) because I think of his reaction any time I get a "negative" comment.
That's so cute - his mama must have raised him right!
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Old 03-02-2011, 09:18 AM   #19
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If anyone comments on the money I spend on my hobby (usually a guy) I just smile and say, 'It's my snowmobile'. Silence!
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Old 03-02-2011, 09:49 AM   #20
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I don't know why but I have endured all kinds of comments about every hobby or thing I did. I am now hitting 50 and I just don't give a sh*t anymore, LOL I have learned to laugh at myself and my weaknesses (notice how I did not say faults) and if I am insulted by someone I let them know now. I have had more positives about my cards and scrapbooks so I remember them. I am not a cook, well I can cook, I don't enjoy it anymore. I spot clean mostly now. I watch alot of TV and sometimes while scrapping or card making.

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Old 03-02-2011, 09:54 AM   #21
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Oh, I get comments like that too I usually I get something like- 'Well, I could do that too if I had the time, but I'm just so busy'.

Everyone seems to think that just because I don't work (and I play with my stamps) that I'm not busy. Heck, I have three kids, a husband who is never home anymore (his new job is very demanding and he works 55-60 hours a week), plus I cook, clean, do laundry, run errands, do all the yard work...etc.

I figure, it's no one's business what I choose to do in my free time and I don't say how much money I spend, because I figure it's none of 'their' business. That's my feeling on the subject and if I'm ever asked again about how do I have time to make cards or how much does something cost....I'm just going to reply "Why do you want to know?"
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Old 03-02-2011, 10:03 AM   #22
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What an interesting thread! I was just re-kindling a friendship with my college roommate when she muttered those exact words: "Oh, I wish I had time to make cards or do all those things you do, but I'm so busy working and with my kids, etc."

I was very tempted to say something back! Like all the above commenters, I don't watch TV at all. In fact, we don't have cable, just an antennae! Instead of melting the hours away in front of the boob tube I make cards, read, cycle, garden, etc! If everyone just unplugged some of the technology in their lives they would end up with so much more free time to do what they've always wanted!
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Old 03-02-2011, 10:06 AM   #23
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If anyone comments on the money I spend on my hobby (usually a guy) I just smile and say, 'It's my snowmobile'. Silence!
I have used that comment too. And my hobby is cheaper. For example, my boss bought a new snowmobile last month for $12,000. 2 weeks later, he drove it into a tree, and it will cost him over $3,000 to fix it. He spent $15,000 on his hobby in 2 months. (can you imagine if we could do that) My boss does not comment on my hobby, but if he ever did, boy do I have a comeback for him!!! LOL


I look at it as it is something that makes me happy and that is all that matters. Yes, the negative comments can hurt, but I get past them and make a card!!

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Old 03-02-2011, 10:20 AM   #24
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I don't understand the negative comments either. It makes me sad. Usually my so called friends with children will say, "Well, if I didn't have kids I'd have time to do things like that but I am just way too busy." I just smile and say it makes me happy being creative. What they just don't get is that I would trade all the stamps, ink, paper and ribbon to be in their shoes and have the children I long for. Well, maybe not all of it...lol but some people can be so inconsiderate when it comes to others feelings.
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Old 03-02-2011, 10:34 AM   #25
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Quote:
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What an interesting thread! I was just re-kindling a friendship with my college roommate when she muttered those exact words: "Oh, I wish I had time to make cards or do all those things you do, but I'm so busy working and with my kids, etc."

I was very tempted to say something back! Like all the above commenters, I don't watch TV at all. In fact, we don't have cable, just an antennae! Instead of melting the hours away in front of the boob tube I make cards, read, cycle, garden, etc! If everyone just unplugged some of the technology in their lives they would end up with so much more free time to do what they've always wanted!


AAaahhhhh.....I thought WE were the LAST people on Earth with only an antennae!!!

Yep agree w/ all the others.....those type of comments just roll off me anymore!!


My responce is usually "people make time for what is truely important to them"

Just keep on stamping and creating!!
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Old 03-02-2011, 10:41 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by LaLatty View Post
Everyone seems to think that just because I don't work (and I play with my stamps) that I'm not busy. Heck, I have three kids, a husband who is never home anymore (his new job is very demanding and he works 55-60 hours a week), plus I cook, clean, do laundry, run errands, do all the yard work...etc.
So why is it that everyone assumes that because you work full time (whether inside or outside the home), have a family to take care and other responsibilities that you no longer have the right to do something for yourself?


I have been married to the same wonderful guy for over 25 years. I rarely drink. I don't gamble. I don't buy designer labels and seriously, to this day, it never ceases to amaze me when I hear people toss out comments like "How do you find the time & money?" They make it seem like I am ignoring my family and spending the grocery money on frivolities.
I have always worked outside the home, raising 2 kids, a husband and various pets. I am, as they say, the head housekeeper, chief cook, bottle washer and accountant and I am always reading or doing something crafty.

I found out a long time ago that I need "ME" time or I'd go insane (I am rather hyper and find it difficult to even sit and watch a movie with my family without having my hands busy so I keep a basket of crochet next to the couch). Over time I have learned how to allow myself some time during the week to do nothing but play with my toys and hobbies (and not feel guilty about it). As for what my hobbies cost - I've learned to budget for what I want or ask for gift cards for birthday or Christmas to help pay for them and really - at the end of the day, it's no ones business but yours what you spend.

I just tell myself those same people would crumble under what we crafters are capable of accomplishing!
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Old 03-02-2011, 11:43 AM   #27
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Like this thread and I'm lucky, no one has been mean to me about my "crafting hobbies". This is my form of recreation and heck when I get tired of my older supplies, at least I can sell them or donate them, can they do that with their form of recreations? My oldest daughter's comment is, "why didn't I inherit some of your talent", which to me is the highest form of a praise! My youngest this past Christmas season, hung up the Christmas cards that I've mailed to her in her cubicle as Christmas decoration, wow, that means she has been saving them and really enjoyed receiving them!
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Old 03-02-2011, 12:21 PM   #28
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You are a lot nicer than me, I would have said that out loud

That being said...I used to watch television, now I make cards.
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Old 03-02-2011, 12:29 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrellyshirley View Post
AAaahhhhh.....I thought WE were the LAST people on Earth with only an antennae!!!

Yep agree w/ all the others.....those type of comments just roll off me anymore!!


My responce is usually "people make time for what is truely important to them"

Just keep on stamping and creating!!
No TV at all here, not even an antenna. And every time the cable and satellite guys call to the door, I say we don't have time for television . They find that hard to believe, but it's true.

I must say most comments I get are supportive; I find it sad that people can be so judgemental about other people's hobbies and have a blind spot when it comes to what they do with their own time and money.
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Old 03-02-2011, 12:35 PM   #30
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We are antenna-only, too! And I thought we were the only ones, too.

There are always people who just want to rain on everybody's parade - no matter the hobby. I wish I understood why, maybe it makes them feel more important to be 'too busy'. But I'd have a hard time being civil to somebody who was rude right to my face.
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Old 03-02-2011, 12:41 PM   #31
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I've been really lucky that all my relatives and friends appreciate my cards. My best friend sometimes teases me about my lack of will power when it comes to buying crafty things, but she more than makes up for it in the appreciation of my cards. Whenever she needs a card, she doesn't buy one, she asks me to make one. I'd say that's one of the strongest compliments she could give. Even my DH is very supportive, though I have been in trouble a couple times with overspending. But everyone who knows me knows that I never put cardmaking ahead of the important things, family and taking care of the house always come first.

I'm sorry some of you have encountered negativity, I honestly do not understand why anyone would have a problem with this hobby, it's not like we're making a bunch of noise and disturbing the peace, like some peoples' hobbies I could mention.
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Old 03-02-2011, 01:46 PM   #32
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Sometimes, I just don't think people realize the weight of their words. Some people really don't think they are being impolite. They just don't have a filter on their brain that tells them they may be offending someone else.

My family actually loves that I have a hobby I really enjoy. I get requests all the time to send cards to this person or that person. People I don't even know, enjoy getting my cards.

I have noticed that the people who say they are the busiest are usually the ones who have the most time on their hands. Plus, who cares how I spend my time, I'm not asking them to crop with me!!!
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Old 03-02-2011, 03:42 PM   #33
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Most of the comments I get are positive, but when I mention my friends who are on design teams or who post a challenge card 5 days a week, people think they are crazy, and wonder if I'm headed down the same path! LOL

While it is true many people are very busy, much of that busyness is caught up in TV, reading emails, playing stupid games on FB, or, dare I say, surfing SCS!! It's all about choices. And, as someone has said, technology has done a lot to mess up our priorities.

I always let people know that my hobby is a great outlet for me,but I share it by sending cards or donating them. It feels great to do that...and worth every penny (dollar) I spend.
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Old 03-02-2011, 03:53 PM   #34
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Luckily, almost all my friends stamp! My family doesn't, but they seem to love the cards.
I did have a co-worker/good friend say something like, "I can see old people doing it who have nothing else to do." YIKES! She's only about four years younger than me and also takes the time to scrapbook. Go figure!
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Old 03-02-2011, 04:05 PM   #35
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I would love to get rid of our TV and technology! Oh wait, no, no I guess I wouldn't. I wouldn't have this forum. OK. I would love to get rid of SOME of my technology!

When someone says something like, "Wow, better you than me!" I always, say, "Yeah, you're right. It is better for me." And just smile. It gives me about 5 mins of them backtracking their comments before I kindly say "Of course I understand. It must be hard to not have any down time. I'm just lucky that's all."

Kill them with kindness always works for me!
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Old 03-02-2011, 04:32 PM   #36
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I also think that intent is important to consider. Sometimes a comment of "how do you find the time?" is really just that person acknowledging that they wish they were better at using their own time more wisely. I have experienced the entire spectrum of comments from truly complimentary to insulting but I think most people who's comment seem careless are really more clueless than mean. I do what I do and that's all that really matters.
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Old 03-02-2011, 05:13 PM   #37
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I have had 2 different people tell me that they envied me because of my hobby....they see how much joy I get out of it and they wish they had something that they felt passionate about!
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Old 03-02-2011, 05:24 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cara Denise View Post
So why is it that everyone assumes that because you work full time (whether inside or outside the home), have a family to take care and other responsibilities that you no longer have the right to do something for yourself?


I have been married to the same wonderful guy for over 25 years. I rarely drink. I don't gamble. I don't buy designer labels and seriously, to this day, it never ceases to amaze me when I hear people toss out comments like "How do you find the time & money?" They make it seem like I am ignoring my family and spending the grocery money on frivolities.
I have always worked outside the home, raising 2 kids, a husband and various pets. I am, as they say, the head housekeeper, chief cook, bottle washer and accountant and I am always reading or doing something crafty.

I found out a long time ago that I need "ME" time or I'd go insane (I am rather hyper and find it difficult to even sit and watch a movie with my family without having my hands busy so I keep a basket of crochet next to the couch). Over time I have learned how to allow myself some time during the week to do nothing but play with my toys and hobbies (and not feel guilty about it). As for what my hobbies cost - I've learned to budget for what I want or ask for gift cards for birthday or Christmas to help pay for them and really - at the end of the day, it's no ones business but yours what you spend.

I just tell myself those same people would crumble under what we crafters are capable of accomplishing!

OMG.....I found my TWIN!!!

AMEN (esp the part about going insane just doing laundry/dishes/housework everyday)!!
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Old 03-02-2011, 05:57 PM   #39
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Yes I'm another one who has been hurt by words of others about my craft/hobby. I've heard it all from ....where do you find the time to..........wow you spend alot of money on that hobby......and another one is ...you are on the computer alot...!!! Over the years I have to admit those comments and words have hurt.........I have several hobbies actually and all have been commented on by others.......and I've learned that it doesn't really matter because I'm going to continue to work on my hobbies and enjoy them.
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Old 03-02-2011, 08:16 PM   #40
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Without hearing her tone, I can't really judge if it was snarky or not... but perhaps she was envious of not only your finding a hobby you love, but the time you have to do it.

The way I see it:
I earn the paycheck. Nobody else does.
I have no wife, nor girlfriend.
I have no kids (except the 34 I teach daily!)
I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or party.
If this is my diversion, then it's my diversion.

One of my favorite all-time quotes comes from Shakespeare:
"To thine own self be true."

As a guy I struggled with even GETTING into the hobby... worrying about what my buddies may think... even questioning my ahem... manhood. But then I stopped and thought... at the end of my life do I want to look back and say I didn't do something I love because I was worried about what others may (or do) say?

As long as I please God and please myself (in that order)... I really couldn't care less what others think/say about me or my hobby.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Q View Post
The other night while at dinner with another couple, the subject of my love for all things paper and ink came up. The wife said to me, "I just don't see how you have the time to do that." The way it was said made me feel like something was 'wrong' with me, according to her I guess
Then, a few minutes later she proceeded to tell me about all the TV shows she likes to watch. I just wanted to say, "I don't know how you have the time to watch all that TV," but I didn't
I was just curious if the rest of you get to endure comments from people about what we all love to do? Pretty much everyone else loves and appreciates getting my projects so I'm not really worried about it. I just found it a bit amusing
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