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Hi.
Just wanting to know is anyone has the same experience.
I always give my mum, mother-in-law, grandmother and grandmother a range of cards for them to use as gifts for Christmas, birthdays etc.
I gave the 2 grandmothers a bundle of cards for mother's day on Sunday. They were an assortment of birthday cards that they could use.They didn't even look at each of them.
My mother-in-law is away at the moment, so I gave my father-in-law a homemade card and some gift tags to give to her while they are away. She thanked me for the cards, but made no comment about them.
I gave my mum a handmade box with gift cards in it at Christmas and she didn't even open it.
Does anyone have the same experience?
It doesn't take much for someone to say that the cards are nice!
I have been stamping for a number of years, so I am sure that it isn't the quality of the cards that is the issue!
I'm sorry you're not getting the reaction you're hoping for from your mum & grandmothers.
I'll admit that I'm lucky - as old as I am, my mother still treats my cards like she did my kindergarten art projects. Even though she makes them herself! Other recipients are more hit & miss, but I make the cards because it's something I enjoy, and because I've accumulated enough of a stash that I feel kind of guilty buying them anymore.
Maybe it's a kind of thing like my grandmother's rice pudding? I loved it, but it was something my mother never cooked. When I asked why, she told me she hated the stuff and associated it with something you cook when there's nothing else in the house to cook. Maybe your mom & grandmothers kind of associate "handmade" with "poor food" ? I'm not saying it's right, but it could be a generational kind of thing.
The other possibility is that they wanted to spend their time with you talking to you, and they looked at and oohed and aahed over the individual cards later? I had made up a dozen monogrammed notecards for my mother-in-law a while back - she still loves sending snail mail and has quite a group of friends she corresponds with - and she thanked me for them nicely at the time but certainly didn't gush. It was maybe a month or so later that my husband told me that he found out that after we left, she said to his sister "Can you believe that she did something like that just for me!" So it could be that they just are uncomfortable with showing too much emotion over them?
Sadly, not everyone appreciates the time, effort and love we put into our handcrafted items. Generally it is those that don't have the artistic gene.
I stopped being offended by the "non-response" years ago. I live with 5 men. My husband and 4 sons that are 16+. At first they would give me a thumbs up or a small atta girl, but as time when on they ceased to show any interest in what I do. They're only interested when they need a card for their girlfriends or whatnot!
I do know that there are people out there, like my Mother-In-Law, who express their appreciation of my work. I just take the wins when I can get them and continue to enjoy what I do .
I wish everyone would give you kudos, but it's just not realistic...know what I mean?
I am very fortunate in that most of my family (even the males have the good sense to at least say thank you & acknowledge the effort - though what is actually passing through their brain I'm not sure I want to know!) do appreciate the work that goes into it. I imagine that has something to do with the fact that my mother, myself and all of my sils do some type(s) of craft.
That said, I have just learned that if someone doesn't appreciate my craft work, I just don't give them any more of it. I hate seeing my work go to waste and they don't appreciate it so don't feel like they received anything of value. I just give them store bought cards and everyone is happier.
__________________ "You may not have lost all your marbles, but there's definitely a hole in the bag." Grumpy Cat
Unless you are a stamper/crafter, I don't think you can appreciate the effort that goes into the creative process. Sometimes I have a project that just falls together, but most of the time I really work to get all of the elements just right. I have some folks who just look at a card and say nothing, or the obligatory "That's nice". I confesss that I tend to go to the Dollar Store for those cards. It is my stamper friends who give me the real feedback and kudos. It feels great, and I give my best effort to that group.
I think some people just don't know express themselves that well. I gave handmade note cards to two of the women I work with for Xmas one year. One woman couldn't thank me enough and the other just gave me a simple thank you. Months later however the second woman bragged about what beautiful cards I made. I would have never known it from her original response.
I really like all of the responses to your question and these are some great thoughts about why you didn't get the response you had hoped for. I know I'll keep them in mind, too, when it happens to me - it has and it will again!! And, since I started my own stamp company, the question I hear most often is "Is this one of yours?" :rolleyes: I get a less enthusiastic response from family if it's not. You can't win! ;^)
I was just wondering - are you sure they know that you make them? That may sound silly but in the past I've given cards and gotten a nice thank you and then they realized or someone mentioned that I had made the card. . . .then I heard "You made this?!?"
This kind of goes hand-in-hand with a comment I heard the other day - that our hobby has affected the style of mass-produced cards sold in stores. Apparently there is a lot more dimension and embellishment than there used to be - of course that could just be so that they can raise the prices, LOL! I don't know personally because I don't look at them anymore ;^) .
I have to say most of my card recipients are very appreciative and some even comment that they save them all. I do have "A" and "B" lists. : )
I do have one friend though that did not respond with as much as a thank you after I gave her two separate sets of cards. She is the glue that keeps a small group of us together and sends a reminder note each month for our monthly luncheon. I thought for sure, here was a gift she could use....never did. Needless to say, she gets a fancy flameless candle or bar of the "rock" soap...both nice gifts, but not with my love and energy put into them!
Maybe if you DON'T make these gift cards for your relatives, they will sit up and take notice and ask for them!
There is very good advice found in these post replies! Keep stampin' because you love it. Maybe Sallie, hobbydujour, is right. Stop giving your cards as gifts and see if they miss them. In the meantime keep stampin' and send your cards to friends, neighbors, and family who need encouragement. Write a few personal notes on those beautiful handmade cards and drop them in the mail. See what happens if you change it up a bit.
I'm very lucky to have gotten rave reviews from everyone I give handmade cards to except for my sister. I know she likes them, but its just not her thing I guess. While I think it is a little deflating that the recipient doesn't express their thanks with gushing remarks, I'm pretty sure most people appreciate the effort and sentiment that goes into handmade gifts.
Interesting answers here. I have always been a 'crafter' and learned long ago which family members and friends really appreciate a hand-made gift. For people who have never enjoyed making things, I don't think they realize all that goes into something created for them. So, I give these people something that makes them happy that is not hand-made. I come here to get kudos for my paper creations and thank goodness everyone on SCS is appreciative and generous with their comments. Anyone who wants to send me a hand-made card will get a GREAT response. :-)
I once gave my son's babysitter a set of 3x3 notecards in a little box holder that was monogrammed with her initial as a Christmas gift. I had planned on getting her a gift card to go with it. However she dropped by unexpectedly to give my son his Xmas gift, so instead of waiting I decided to give her the notecards then. She knew I scrapbooked so I'm sure she knew that I made the gift set. She was sitting on the floor with the kids and my 2 year old son handed it to her in the middle of all the activity, she looked at it, made a strange face, put it down on the floor and THERE IT SAT the rest of her visit! Not a word from her. They then proceeded to go home about a half hour later and the box set STILL SAT ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!! She simply LEFT IT THERE!
I was APPALLED and decided at that moment to forego the gift card and shortly after that found a new babysitter!
I've gone to parties/baby showers where the recipient passes my card around the whole room and makes a big deal of it too. I guess every person is different and appreciates different things! We just have to try to not take it personal, hard as it may be sometimes!
I usually get nice comments when I make a card for someone, but after nearly 5 years it's expected from me. If there's a holiday Tobi's gonna make some cards and they'll be nice! I don't really expect the validation, and that probably comes from my career as a musician.. It is kind of expected that I'm a good singer/pianist if I'm teaching high school and gigging regularly! A long time ago I came to terms with the fact that if I am going to be a professional at something (and I consider myself a professional musician as well as a card-maker) it should be a given that the product I sell/give is good. I don't need someone telling me it's nice, or thanks, or whatever because I know that they are thankful, it's just past the point where they've said "nice cards" or "pretty." I don't know... just my thoughts..
__________________
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Loved the comment someone made about the males in the family only coming and being supportive when they need a card LOL! Unfortunately, hubby has had the need for quite a few sympathy cards for relatives of his coworkers so I've been working on them a lot. He now asks for thank you and birthday cards and Christmas cards. His female coworkers are usually quite impressed, and ask when they can expect to get their Christmas card LOL! My favourite is when my son wanted a Valentine's Day card for a relatively new girlfriend. He wanted to make the card himself and I helped with suggesting colours and stamps, and he made all the choices. It was fun teaching him how to use the cutter and the punch and how to stamp. He'd never admit it to his male friends but he was quite proud to tell the girlfriend that HE created this masterpiece LOL! It's nice when a mom can still teach a 21 year old something.
__________________ Leslie Harnish
Sambro, Nova Scotia
Canada
When my daughter in law first told me she was pregnant with my first grand child, I was over the moon and used all my best dressmaking skills to make loads of new baby clothes and a few things for as it grew older. When baby was born, I did the grandmother thing and took it all over wrapped in a beautiful hand crocheted blanket.
Well, you would have thought I had slapped her silly or something. She was downright insulted that I had not used actual money to go buy stuff for my first grandchild. I was just being a cheapskate, blah, blah, blah. My poor son was mortified because he knew I had spent lots of money buying top quality fabrics and accessories to make the stuff and he had been quite excited by the prospect. He did not understand his wife's reaction.
She had been raised in a very poor family where making things was considered cheap and buying things meant that you had money and therefore probably employment etc. It was just a difference in upbringing. My children appreciated all the hard work I put into learning and sewing for them, whereas she saw it simply as a "class" difference. I felt sorry for her. My son explained it all to her, and later she apologised for her behaviour. She is basically a very nice person and has been a good mother.
So sometimes people don't appreciate all the hard work and love that goes into a project for them, because they do not understand the story behind the project. If you take a bit of time to explain, perhaps more appreciation can be given for your work. You CANNOT ASSUME they understand your love if you don't tell them.
Most of the people I make cards for are thrilled that I spent time making something special for them and often ask how a card was done. My sister and her children save all my cards, use them as seasonal decorations and wait for the next one. My brother and sister-in-law have never once commented on them, but then he never sends me a birthday or anniversary card; I'm lucky if I get a generic type Christmas card from him! His grown children and his grandchildren usually email, phone or drop a note telling me how much my cards mean to them - same family, go figure!
When my daughter in law first told me she was pregnant with my first grand child, I was over the moon and used all my best dressmaking skills to make loads of new baby clothes and a few things for as it grew older. When baby was born, I did the grandmother thing and took it all over wrapped in a beautiful hand crocheted blanket.
Well, you would have thought I had slapped her silly or something. She was downright insulted that I had not used actual money to go buy stuff for my first grandchild. I was just being a cheapskate, blah, blah, blah. My poor son was mortified because he knew I had spent lots of money buying top quality fabrics and accessories to make the stuff and he had been quite excited by the prospect. He did not understand his wife's reaction.
She had been raised in a very poor family where making things was considered cheap and buying things meant that you had money and therefore probably employment etc. It was just a difference in upbringing. My children appreciated all the hard work I put into learning and sewing for them, whereas she saw it simply as a "class" difference. I felt sorry for her. My son explained it all to her, and later she apologised for her behaviour. She is basically a very nice person and has been a good mother.
So sometimes people don't appreciate all the hard work and love that goes into a project for them, because they do not understand the story behind the project. If you take a bit of time to explain, perhaps more appreciation can be given for your work. You CANNOT ASSUME they understand your love if you don't tell them.
I'm sorry, but I don't care how she was brought up or "her" misunderstanding of hademade being cheap, etc. There is NO excuse for her bad behavior. If someone gives you a gift you say thank you and try to act happy about it. Even if inside you think it is crap.
I hope she does a better job of teaching your grandchildren how to accept a gift they aren't happy with.
(If not, I'm sure you will. Being the awesome Grandmother that you are).
I'm sorry, but I don't care how she was brought up or "her" misunderstanding of hademade being cheap, etc. There is NO excuse for her bad behavior. If someone gives you a gift you say thank you and try to act happy about it. Even if inside you think it is crap.
I hope she does a better job of teaching your grandchildren how to accept a gift they aren't happy with.
(If not, I'm sure you will. Being the awesome Grandmother that you are).
I disagree. It is probably better that the daughter-in-law expressed her disappointment (be it misguided) or it could have been swept under the rug and possibly festered with the daughter-in-law. She was thinking her mother-in-law did not care enough for her to spend money on her and her baby. There is a stigma with many people about hand-made, hand-me-downs, etc. Having something bought brand new from a real store is not an experience every child gets. Growing up in poverty can scar people in many ways, especially when they grow up amongst a lot of affluent people. Once everyone knew each others frame of reference, the family moved forward in a positive way.
__________________ Leslie Harnish
Sambro, Nova Scotia
Canada
I think if someone gives you a gift, be it handmade or store bought, you say thank you. Even if it's the ugliest thing you've ever seen...you say thank you. If somebody makes you something, whether it's a card or another handmade item, the recipient should be honored. I don't say drop to your knees and cry tears of happiness - lol - but at least show some gratitude that someone cared enough about you to make you something.
I make them and send them out because there are people who have done wonderful things and I thank them (coordinating school events, sending my family a gift)....
That being said, my DS who is 18 calls my craft room "the crapping room" and my husband doesn't understand this hobby but had our dining room converted into a crafting room on our 13th wedding anniversary (I love telling that story). Go figure.
Last, my DH's family live over on the East Coast and my MIL loves them. She likes correspondence the old fashioned way so I enjoy sending them. I guess since I am older it doesn't bother me what people think. I know this hobby isn't for everyone.
Sorry about all the rude people who don't appreciate this art form!
I've only gotten very positive comments for my handmade cards from three people in my life. My husband, who is a trained artist and appreciates the act of "creating" something, a girlfriend who is also a crafter so she admires and appreciates the supplies, techniques, color choices etc...; and another girlfriend who does not craft AT ALL but knows how much I LOVE this hobby so she is always thrilled to get something handmade from me. In fact if I send her a store bought card she asks if I'm feeling alright!! LOL
My husband's family as received handmade cards, mostly at his urging for me to make them. At family events when my card is opened I usually get a "did you make this"? comment....but that's it. Very neutral. Meh....I don't let it bother me.
Yes & No I go through this. My Mother was one of the stars in the crafting world back in the 70's & 80's. Now, she doesn't really craft in that capacity any more. Every time I give her a card she just like "Yes, ok, whatever!" attitude. It really started to bother and hurt me. Yes, Mom sorry I am not a star. I don't want to be. Mother's Day I bought her cards, take them over and what does she say? "You didn't make me a card?" She was really upset. She has saved every single one of my cards because she thinks they are works of art. Trust me this is not a Mom saying this. This is my Mom saying this. Could have floored me! My Mom is one of those ladies if she does not think your work is up to the par in the trash it goes. My Mom is highly critical and very elitist. You know one of those crafters, lol. Making my Mom a card is a nerve wracking event that leaves me stressed out and nervous. I made her a beautiful latch hook pillow one time. It was stunning! I have really great latch hooking skills and can design my own patterns. My Mom used it to prop up a fan. All my needlework pieces I have made for her are hung up in her home though. She drives me batty.
My friends I could make them anything and they love it. Ooh's and Aah's. I wish I was as talented as you comments. Most of my friends are not crafty but the ones that are keep telling me I need to stop hiding and start shining since my work is out of this world. I love that support group.
I guess I have been lucky to receive very nice comments on my cards. Even had nice feedback on eBay for what I've sold. I did take alot of cards into my work for Mother's Day and was sold out pretty quickly. Everyone said they were so unique and lovely - which was very nice to hear. I've been asked to keep a basket full of cards for sale in the office!
It is a shame to hear that people's crafting work is not appreciated :( So much time goes into these creations.
I found this thread amazing, it brought back a memory of making a card for my sister for her wedding, she said thanks at the time, then later I was in the kitchen and found my card in the garbage bin. I rescued it and gave it back to her thinking it had accidently fallen in, no, she had put it in there. "I don't keep rubbish" she said. Take of that what you will, I still send cards but cheap store ones. I only send those cards I make to people I know enjoy them.... keep on with the card making! Card makers rule!
I've been pondering on this since yesterday morning - while I wouldn't complain if every person who received one of my cards thanked me profusely and declared me a true ARTISTE, that's not why I make them. I just enjoy the process; it takes me back to kindergarten, when all I had to worry about was cutting straight and coloring in the lines (and how I was going to convince my mom that I really needed all 64 crayolas - that part hasn't changed much ).
And if everyone gushed about them, I think I'd become jaded and appreciate the good comments less. When I found out that the other ladies on my bowling team wait to see what my Christmas card looks like each year (and that one of them doesn't throw them out, but keeps them to display the next year), that gave me warm fuzzies. And when my BIL, who was the last person I'd ever expect to comment, made a point of thanking my husband & I for the card, and then went on and on about what a great card it was and that he was just floored when he found out I made it, because who could ever make something like that themselves . . .well, that made my whole year. And he gets special cards for Christmas & birthdays forevermore.
But, if I make them because I get enjoyment from it, and I decided to give them as gifts because it's something I enjoy doing, but I don't take into consideration whether the person I'm giving them to would like a gift of that sort, wouldn't that be selfish? I'm not saying that's the case with anyone who has posted here! It's just that I've gotten gifts that make me think "what in the world were they thinking" because they're so out of the realm of anything I am interested in. Now, I wouldn't ever let on that I felt that way, and I thank them very nicely. But I could see where, if I gave my mother sets of monogrammed notecards like I gave my MIL, my mom would appreciate the first set and then kind of start internally rolling her eyes - she really doesn't send those kind of notes.
Side note about the daughter-in-law: While I think her reaction was insufferably rude, I'll cut her a little slack because of the out-of-whack hormones. And huge, HUGE kudos to Karen & her son, that he was able to talk to his wife about what had happened, and that Karen was able to get past it. That was a bad situation that with other people could have led to miserable holidays for years.
Beaglelover -- your husband did such a sweet thing for you for your anniversary. That was a big "I love you".
ert - the comment your sister made was totally insensitive and you're a better person than I am because that would have been the last card, handmade or store bought, she would have ever received from me. I see you've only made 32 posts so welcome to Splitcoast where we appreciate everyone's work and say so.
The year I went over to drop off some things at my MIL house and found the Christmas card DD and I had made in the trash was the last time I felt any desire to put any effort into making cards or anything for HER. Now if I do make cards the desire and effort is on MY part for the fun of it and I don't attach any feelings to it whatsoever. I use that time to try out something new or challenge myself somehow whether it is a color challenge or new technique, etc. I take a photo of it and/or do a 2nd one for my "portfiolo" book and move on.
It's unfathomable to me how rude some people can be, but I have learned yes, there are people that can be that rude when it comes to stamped cards/items.
But yes, I do have unappreciative people of my craft. I am just now learning how to deal. So far I feel like the last run-through of Mother's Day and birthdays has worked well in the not-letting-it-bother-me department since I have started doing this.
I've had comments that range from, "Well, it's not a Hallmark", to, "I don't get it...why do you like to do this?".
My number one supporter is a male friend who is thrilled when I send him a homemade card. He encourages me to do what I love.
I guess I am very lucky. I actually have people "request" their gift be a set of hand made cards when I ask "what do you want for your fill-in-the-blank" occasion. I can't believe some of the responses I've read on this thread. Sorry for what many of you have experienced.
Oh and as for Hallmark? I have a stamp that says "If it was a Hallmark it wouldn't look this good". I don't put it on every card but when I do it gets a giggle.
__________________ Margaret "All the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single, lovely action." James Russell Lowell
I make greeting cards for the pleasure I get from creating them. I take the time to personalize each card or set for the particular person.
I can't control what the receiver thinks or does with the cards once I give them. I don't really care. I've gotten the pleasure of creating them for them. That's enough for me.
I would never lessen the quality of the card I made for someone just because they may not say thank you.
I don't expect people to keep my hand made cards for ever. Most people are not a pack-rat like I am.
When my daughter in law first told me she was pregnant with my first grand child, I was over the moon and used all my best dressmaking skills to make loads of new baby clothes and a few things for as it grew older. When baby was born, I did the grandmother thing and took it all over wrapped in a beautiful hand crocheted blanket.
Well, you would have thought I had slapped her silly or something. She was downright insulted that I had not used actual money to go buy stuff for my first grandchild. I was just being a cheapskate, blah, blah, blah. My poor son was mortified because he knew I had spent lots of money buying top quality fabrics and accessories to make the stuff and he had been quite excited by the prospect. He did not understand his wife's reaction.
She had been raised in a very poor family where making things was considered cheap and buying things meant that you had money and therefore probably employment etc. It was just a difference in upbringing. My children appreciated all the hard work I put into learning and sewing for them, whereas she saw it simply as a "class" difference. I felt sorry for her. My son explained it all to her, and later she apologised for her behaviour. She is basically a very nice person and has been a good mother.
This was my thought when I read the OP. The people I know from poor families spend much more on presents than anyone else I know. Even knowing the effort put into handmade gifts may not compensate for their long standing issues, and they may feel slighted. The important thing to understand is that it's about THEM, not you or your work. I'm more careful now than ever about who receives my handmade gifts or cards. Knowing not to take things personally doesn't keep me from wanting to be appreciated.
I think if someone gives you a gift, be it handmade or store bought, you say thank you. Even if it's the ugliest thing you've ever seen...you say thank you. If somebody makes you something, whether it's a card or another handmade item, the recipient should be honored. I don't say drop to your knees and cry tears of happiness - lol - but at least show some gratitude that someone cared enough about you to make you something.
Oh Lorraine, this line really made me laugh. I'm adding it to my life script! When someone is rude and doesn't thank me for something nice, I'm always saying to my hubby afterward, "I'm not going to summon them to the First District Court of Thank You and make them get down on their knees...."
Reading all these posts, I'm reminded that my dear departed dad had a saying, "It takes all kinds, and they're all here." Ain't it the truth?
__________________ Bugga in OK
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." Dalai Lama
When my daughter in law first told me she was pregnant with my first grand child, I was over the moon and used all my best dressmaking skills to make loads of new baby clothes and a few things for as it grew older. When baby was born, I did the grandmother thing and took it all over wrapped in a beautiful hand crocheted blanket.
Well, you would have thought I had slapped her silly or something. She was downright insulted that I had not used actual money to go buy stuff for my first grandchild. I was just being a cheapskate, blah, blah, blah. My poor son was mortified because he knew I had spent lots of money buying top quality fabrics and accessories to make the stuff and he had been quite excited by the prospect. He did not understand his wife's reaction.
She had been raised in a very poor family where making things was considered cheap and buying things meant that you had money and therefore probably employment etc. It was just a difference in upbringing. My children appreciated all the hard work I put into learning and sewing for them, whereas she saw it simply as a "class" difference. I felt sorry for her. My son explained it all to her, and later she apologised for her behaviour. She is basically a very nice person and has been a good mother.
So sometimes people don't appreciate all the hard work and love that goes into a project for them, because they do not understand the story behind the project. If you take a bit of time to explain, perhaps more appreciation can be given for your work. You CANNOT ASSUME they understand your love if you don't tell them.
This is a touching post, Karen. You are a very wise woman, and your son and DIL are lucky to have you.
__________________ Bugga in OK
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." Dalai Lama
Karen White - I crochet so I know how much work goes into a project but even if I didn't know, I would appreciate the effort. My aunt made my daughters knitted sweaters when they were babies. They're in their 30's now. I still have those sweaters because I couldn't bring myself to give them away. Your DIL, coming from a different upbringing, needed it explained to her. I totally agree with Bugga's comment.
I have an aunt (my mom's sis-in-law) who is difficult to deal with (not in person- kind of passive-aggressive). I used to do goodie baskets for Chirstmas. I would find a nice basket (part of the gift), cute cocktail napkins, coffee or cocoa, and 2 sweet treats and 1 savory treat. She suggested to my mom that we (including my sister) not exchange gifts anymore, because "I hate for me to do all that cooking". (one year, she gave it to my aunt, saying "we don't need any cookies"). I really like to cook, and enjoyed doing the gift baskets. I'm also told I'm an excellent baker. It's her loss, I guess!
My least favorite remark who came from an elderly woman whose husband died. I made her a very nice, detailed sympathy card. A few days after the funeral she called me to thank me for the card. She went into a very long conversation with me asking "now how did you do this part" and "what did you use to create this part of the card." I told her exactly how I put the card together, and her response was "Well, thanks. I was just curious so I thought I'd ask before I throw it away." Hmm.
1. I'm thinking that many of the people who have received rude and unappreciative comments would have gotten a similar response with any craft or any attempt of kindness made -it sounds like the nature of the person to begin with.
2. Those that don't do any type of crafts or hobbies don't comprehend how much work and thought goes into them because it is simply outside their frame of reference.
3. There's a group of uninformed people that think a greeting card is just a piece of paper ... whether it is purchased or handcrafted. They just don't know the error of their ways LOL! (I make this point in jest just in case that wasn't clear).
4. It is unfortunate that some had no empathy for the DIL that grew up in poverty and was hurt by the good intentions of her MIL. I'm glad the MIL and the husband were able to deal with this, figure out what the issue was and rise above a very unfortunate situation.
4. There were some priceless funnies on this thread:
I don't say drop to your knees and cry tears of happiness ...
I'm not going to summon them to the First District Court of Thank You and make them get down on their knees...
It takes all kinds, and they're all here.
__________________ Leslie Harnish
Sambro, Nova Scotia
Canada
Originally Posted by not2shabbydesigns
I'm sorry, but I don't care how she was brought up or "her" misunderstanding of hademade being cheap, etc. There is NO excuse for her bad behavior. If someone gives you a gift you say thank you and try to act happy about it. Even if inside you think it is crap.
I hope she does a better job of teaching your grandchildren how to accept a gift they aren't happy with.
(If not, I'm sure you will. Being the awesome Grandmother that you are).
Quote:
Originally Posted by lharnish
I disagree. It is probably better that the daughter-in-law expressed her disappointment (be it misguided) or it could have been swept under the rug and possibly festered with the daughter-in-law. She was thinking her mother-in-law did not care enough for her to spend money on her and her baby. There is a stigma with many people about hand-made, hand-me-downs, etc. Having something bought brand new from a real store is not an experience every child gets. Growing up in poverty can scar people in many ways, especially when they grow up amongst a lot of affluent people. Once everyone knew each others frame of reference, the family moved forward in a positive way.
I'm afraid I have to disagree with your response to this. My thoughts are, it doesn't matter how affluent your family is while growing up or not . . . . it's a matter of misplaced values and a failure to learn the valuable lessons in life. I grew up with very little and I learned to appreciate home made things and understand that they were made with love. To associate "love" and "value" with a dollar value is just simply wrong. Anyone with half a brain would stop to think about the love and care and time and cost and effort that went into the making of anything and they aught to be appreciative of those things. I would be over the moon happy if someone thought and cared enough about me to invest the time and money to make something from the heart.
To say that "oh, I grew up poor, and everyone around me was better off" is a complete cop out and one I don't buy.
I would have liked to be the fly on the wall when this all came out. I think it's unlikely that, in most cases, this sort of experience results in a positive outcome. For me the message would be "don't do that again!. Don't bother making anything special because it's going to go unappreciated again." Most people don't respond well when met with this sort of criticism and most people are so taken aback that they don't think to challenge it in the moment and given a few days to cool off, it gets laid to rest and is never resolved.
Anyways, to get back on topic, my fellow crafters fully appreciate the things I make. They understand what it takes to make something and the time and thought required. If I look outside that realm, very few people "get it". They have no concept of the cost of materials, tools, time and thought that goes into a project. I don't expect them to. They're not crafters. So, I deliberately pick and choose who I give my things to. Some people will get a handmade card, but most get a dollar store variety. It is what it is. I am happy and comfortable with that.
Sorry to have gone on a bit of a rant there.
__________________ �:*�*:�My next house won't have a kitchen. Just a bunch of vending machines and garbage cans.�:*�*:�
Is your craft unappreciated?
