well... you have a job...
 

Not sure if this is where I post this, but... I have been trying to get a stamp club together for sometime and finally was able to get everyone in the same room. We are talking about the minimum, which is going back and forth between $40-$50/month. I don't think that is unreasonable to spend on stamps. We want the 400 buck hostess benni and that is what we have to spend to get that. Well, one of the ladies said to me "it's easy for you, you have a job." I'm so sick of hearing that. Yes, I do have a job, but you can get a job too! Don't use that lame *** excuse and don't put *your* money issues back on me because you choose not to work! And... if this was such a problem for her, why on earth did she show up for the meeting?? I just don't understand some people.... She did join, but I don't know why.

ok- so I'm done, flame me if you must. :???:

j

She must not have that much of a problem if she joined. People can say nasty things unintentionally.

I have a job, but I couldn't afford a $40-50 commitment every month.

Personally, I think that's a high commitment EVERY month whether you have a job or not.

Did you see the Friends episode in Season 2(?) where Rachel, Joey and Phoebe don't have as much money as the other three? The Haves forget what it's like to be the Have-Nots; meanwhile, the Have-Nots hate not being able to do stuff so they do it and suffer the consquences.

I'm not justifying what she said, but I think she was just tying to say that it's going to be a stretch for her but she does want to play.

Does she have another friend not in the group that would like to split the $ amount with her. Yes she would have to share her bennies with them but she could play without breaking her bank. I work, and for our area I have a pretty good paying job, however even as a demo I don't have an extra $40/mo the spend on stuff. If I weren't a demo I couldn't justify spending $ on that to my fiance, and I do work full time! Did she know the $ requirement when she signed up?

Have job...Couldn't afford $40-50 a month. Sorry, it's too steep for me.

NO way could I afford $50 every single month...too much for me!

I don't think it's too much. If she's that interested in stamping she probably pays that much for stamps every month anyway.

I don't really know what kind of stamp club you're talking about, but I'm gathering that every month a different member is the hostess. So if she leaves, does the price go up for everyone?

Also, if she can't afford it, then oh well - she can't join. If she really wants to, you're right, she can get a job.

I have friends that don't have any money, or a desire to work, and it irks me!!!!!! It wouldn't bother me, except when they complain about money problems or how they can't do anything fun. Um hello? Get money like everybody else? We're aren't heiresses!

It isn't that we don't have any money or no desire to work ...it's that I don't think $50 a month is a very reasonable request for a stamp club. I never spend that much on supplies every single month! I usually make one or two large orders ($150) a YEAR...big difference there.

But, if she knew that ahead of the meeting, and still showed up, then why would she bother. BUT, if the amount was sprung on her at the meeting, then I think she had every right to not join.

$40 bucks a month is very reasonable, IMO. That will buy someone 2-3 stamp sets a month from the cattie. This is something that we (all the potential members) discussed 2 months in ADVANCE. We all want the $400 benefit, and we are all willing to pay $40/month to get that. So... $40/month is a non issue, or should be at least.

I guess I needed to add some history, she has been telling me for a month that she just can't find $40 worth of stuff to buy. So... where does the "you have a job" comment come in? If the problem is that she doesn't want anything in the cattie, then she shouldn't join the club. If it's that she doesn't have the money to spend, then she should get a job or shouldn't join the club. But... she shouldn't make me look like the bad guy because I have a job and can easily spend $40 a month of stamps. My budget is actually more and I'm sure it will net her a nice little hostess beni.

So the point is if she wishes to join or not. what she chooses to spend her forty dollars per month on is her business (stamps. groceries. child care. alcohol. vacations. rent. manicures. cigarettes. clothes, tuition, gas,,_)
Just as your CHOICE to COMMIT forty dollars each month to stamp club is YOUR decision. But she could gracefully bow out as "not able to join at this time" without making a big deal in front of the other players who have already decided they want the four hundred dollar benefits (and not the one fifty bennies)

Good luck. hope she follows thru..

betsy

Based on what you've written, it sounds like this woman caved to peer pressure because she wants to be in the club. Also, based on what you've said, I would fully expect her to flake out in the near future.

If she can't afford the $40, then she shouldn't join but she shouldn't make you feel bad because you can afford the money. I also agree that she should "bow out". Maybe you can find someone else to take her place.

Ok, here come the flames----JUST KIDDING! I do think she was out of line with her comment and should not have called you out like that in front of everyone. She could've just said "We are only on one income right now and I am not sure I can afford to be in the group at this point in time". Better yet, she could've just told you this in private.
I am not quite sure why she has chosen not to work. Does she sit around all day eating bon bons or is she a stay at home mom? Yes, it is a choice. In my case, it is a choice because I choose not to put my child in daycare. I don't feel like it is a lame $%& excuse. It is a sacrifice I have decided to make in the best interest of my child. Although I am proud of my choice, I must admit that sometimes doing without gets very old. Sometimes I am excluded from things because we are on one income. If she has a good reason for staying home, then I think a little compassion and understanding on your part would be very considerate.

I do think she was wrong to compare herself to you. Every person's situation is different and it was completely uncalled for.

Having said that, I also think the $40-$50 is steep. I proabably do spend that much every month, but wouldn't want to be held to it by a contract. KWIM?

I don't think I've been inconsiderate in the least. Everyone makes their own decision. If she doesn't want to a job, or can't get a job, or wants to stay home with the kids, that is her perogative. However... she probably should have said, "I just can't afford this." Not "well you have a job." Meaning that I am putting her in this position because I have a job and she doesn't.

I too have the feeling that she will be bowing out at some point. Probably after she gets her benefits. I was astounded that she joined in the first place. I'm glad that she joined, I do like stamping with her and she truly is a very nice person. That comment just pissed me off.

I am currently in a stamp club where the minimum purchase is $15, which on my budget is all I am willing to commit to at this point.

A $40 a month club, IMO is very steep for a few reasons. The order is never $40. There's what you choose to purchase and it never comes out even, it could come to $40, $43, $47 and that's without any taxes, shipping and handling. So for me a $40/month club ends up being at least a $50 in reality.

In the end NO ONE should judge any one when it comes to finances. NO ONE ever knows any one's financial situation. It doesn't matter if you stay at home, work a job, work two jobs... you never know what people can/cannot afford.

This is a very interesting thread! There are so many things involved - the job vs. no job; dollar amount of the stamp club; why did she say what she did in front of everyone, then go ahead and join anyway. Try not to let her make you feel bad - she does have a choice, and didn't HAVE to join. I'm thinking that she really WANTS to be a part of it, really WANTS to spend the $40 per month - but perhaps was having an argument with herself about spending the money when they are living on one income, and it came out at you. Good luck with whatever happens, and I hope you still remain friends!
(Take a deep breath . . . !)

I totally agree with you there.

I don't think it really matters why she doesn't work.

I didn't really mean that you were inconsiderate to her, per se. I just think you need to keep in mind that she may be struggling with not being able to participate. Also, I may have taken what you said about it "being her own choice, and lame #$% excuse" a little personally because I am a sahm. Personal feelings aside, I agree that it was wrong for her to front you out like that. It was actually pretty tactless on her part.

Point taken, Consuelo. I was getting all caught up with my emotions. You are correct, it doesn't matter why she's not working.

Oh I see! I totally don't think she meant it that way. More of a defensive response, I think. I'm a SAHM, too. And I know for a fact that WE ROCK! ;)

{{{{Hugs Brenda}}}}

I wasn't there and didn't hear the tone in her voice when she said it to you, so please take that into consideration as you read my response.

I have sort of been in her shoes. I was a sahm mom by choice, along with that choice came the choice to live a less expensive life style. A similar situation arose with me and a girl friend at the time. She called me one day to see if I wanted to go to lunch. Sounded great, we always went to someplace like Don P'ablos (and I always had all kinds of coupons to make it cheaper for both of us). Well this one day on the way to the restaurant she decides that she would rather eat at this expensive steak place. So instead of it costing me around $10-15 (which I could barely afford) it was going to be more like $25. It was very difficult for me to tell her that I couldn't afford to eat there. It was difficult for her to understand that we didn't have the money for everything. I probably shouldn't have even done the cheaper restaurants, but I so enjoyed the opportunity to get out and spend the time with her. I am guessing that your friend has the same problem. Shouldn't spend the $40 a month (maybe even $20), but really likes stamping and really wants to be a part of the group. (There was a member in my first stamping club that we found out later never even took her orders out of the bags. She only came to stamping club for the friendship. She liked making the cards, but had no interest in stamping on her own.) Please consider whether her comment was one of spite or one of frustration. And being frustrated because you want her to spend $40 a month to play with you and think it should be no big deal, is different then her thinking that she should get a job, maybe she wants you to be more understanding of her choice not to work and to spend less.

I also have a couple of questions for you. You said that you talked a couple of months ago about having a $40 min so that the parties were $400. Well, did you talk about it or were comments made like "you know if we all commited to $40 then we could all get the benefits of a $400 party", but not really said "we are going to have a $40 min."

If you really think that she might flake out or have to quit the group, maybe you should consider helping her find a person to split her min order and her hostess benefits with. Another person where they could both spend $20 and when it was their turn to be hostess they would each get a hostess set and split the dollars. If possible may be a great solution.

Beth

Could she not just come to this stamp club just to stamp? Like the above poster said... she may just want to be there for the friendship.

I think that is very steep. I belong to 2 and spend $15 at each. In our group are teacher's aides who make $800 a month total, nurses aide's who make less than that. We have mothers who only work part time if at all to tend to their children. I wonder why you cannot set a reasonable minimum and if others want to bump it up they can for themselves. Those that do $15 a month get Level One when it is their turn. Those who order $40 a month can have the Level 3 when it is their turn.

I think as long as you were up front with the costs per month, go for it. I think many would be happy to get $400 worth of benefits (I know I would) over $150. I have belonged to stamp clubs as well with the $15 and I always spent more. I agree that $40 a month would be hard for some people, but obviously not for the other 9 people that signed up. I also don't like when people make comments like that to me. I think it is great that friends of mine stay at home with their children and I really try to be considerate of their financial situation (ex. I cook dinner at my house instead of going out) but I don't want to hear how you have no money all the time. We all make choices and you need to live with the consequences but I won't feel quilty about what I spend either.

What would be cool would be for demos to offer Level 1,2, and 3 clubs and you could join the one you could afford OR the one where you loved the hostess set. I actually love the Level 1's more than any others this year!

We all made the decision together about the $40. We talked about it and went back and forth about which benni we wanted, etc. She was hmming and haaing at that point. We decided as a group on the $40/month thing. This was not a surprise, to anyone. I'm not about to help her find someone else to split her min. order, she can locate that person herself - I don't have time for that (I have a job :p ). I agree with you though, that would be a great solution for her.

craftygirl04 - yes, she absolutely could come and only stamp and pay a workshop fee, rather than join the club.

The lame *** excuse has nothing to do with whether or not she is a SAHM. In fact, I work from home, with my two kids, 3x a week. I didn't like her using my job as an excuse for me to be able to spend $40. Like another poster said, she doesn't know my situation. Maybe I am up to my eyeballs in credit card debt (I'm not, but she doesn't know that).

I think SAHM have the toughest job there is. They are the most underappreciated workers in the US and it's pathetic.
We are responsible for raising future presidents, humanitarians, etc. and we get little to no respect (I'm on my soapbox, but I'm off now).

I'd be a little worried that she's not going to stick to her commitment. That's she's stretching herself in order to join the club but it may not work out in the end, KWIM? But there's no way to know that for sure.

I agree with the people who said that $40 a month, every month, is pretty steep for many people. Why don't you make it $40 every other month. Granted, you wouldn't get your benefits as often -- but you would eventually get them. If, on the other hand, everyone agrees -- with that one exception -- that $40 a month is how you want to go, she needs to bow out. . . which is probably what she's going to do in the long run.

This comment was totally out of line. She should not have made that comment in front of the group. I have a long time friend who refuses to work very much. She is single, no kids, no husband, 1 dog, no health issues preventing her from working. No reason not to work. She is always putting her money issues on me. I quit a good job to go back to school, went into student loan debt, lived on next to nothing for 2 years, worked my @ss off, and am now enjoying my success.

I, in no way, rub it into her face, but when we go shopping, always her idea BTW, she makes comments like "Like you need to look at the sale rack" and if I pick a few things to buy "why don't you just buy the whole store?" She also gripes to her family, whom I was close with, that I "am on a name brand store kick". Hello, I got a few nice summer dresses at a high end store ON CLEARANCE. I was excited that I got a $100.00 dress for $19.99.

I had to finally tell her that I am tired of apologizing for success that I worked very hard for and if anyone doesn't like it, they can do exactly what I did, make the sacrifice and go back to school (which she also has 10 reasons why she can't).

Oh, another bit of history, she has had a boob job, LASIK for her eyes, and laser hair removal that she is still paying on. Her choices on how to spend the little money she does earn, but don't put your wowes on me.

HER CHOICES SHOULD NOT MAKE YOU FEEL BAD. Ignore her comment, maybe she just got done paying bills and realized that she couldn't afford it comfortably. Also, make her the hostess last so she won't bail after she gets her bennefits. CYA (cover your assetts). ;O)

Oh, and when I was still a customer, I was in a club where the minimum was $10.00 and I ALWAYS spent over $30.00. I got 3 pads and 3 matching packs of CS a month. Easy way to get all the pads and CS, (she doesn't have to buy stamps) so I don't think $40.00 is unreasonable if it was discussed and the group agreed. Heck, for my $30.00 I only got 1 level 1 set and bennies, I should have taken 3 spots in the club, but it was my choice to spend more. Chin up!!

Well I think her comment was out of line -- just as you might not know her circumstances, she doesn't know yours either. It's always wrong to assume and that's just what she did imo!

I don't think $40 a month is steep at all for a stamp club to get a $400 workshop and those benefits. When I used to have a hostess club that was usually the average a month anyway. I hope your club works out an you have fun!

I'm with those who feel she just should have not joined the club. Everyone has their own budget to deal with and must make choices accordingly. In my stamp club we agree to $25 per month, just to get the minimum hostess benefits and we all agree to that. Along with this, I had signed up for an online stamp kit club (min 3 mnth membership) and while I absolutely loved the kits, it was costing me over $60 per month and I had to cancel. Perhaps you can get together once a month just for fun and stamping with your club so that this person can enjoy the social tilme?

you have a job....
 

First off, I am not a demo, I do have a good paying part time job....

I think if you are a demo, you are a business- you are the face for Stampin Up to all of these ladies. You have an awesome place here on Splitcoast to vent, but to her face, it is all about Customer Service BABY!!! You cannot react to comments like that, or comments made by a customer screaming in your face! You are the face of Stampin Up.......

In my humble opinion- and I am not making an argument for or against, remember that most non-demo's do not work for SU and we have other things to do everyday that Stamping- this caould be easily misunderstood.... Stampin is not how we make $$$, so it is not as high on our priority list is a better way to phrase that. I would love to stamp everyday, but I cannot! I have a hard time using all of the stuff I buy being in a $25.00 per month club!

In the end, if you work her just right, she could be your best customer ever...maybe by your excellent example, she will even sign on to be a demo someday!!!

Good luck with your club!

Shelly

job
 

One more thought- I love the challenges that are posted here on SCS. Maybe you could have a challenge for your club to present one card per month, and people win something if they participate??? It does not have to be a huge prise, but everyone LOVES to get something free or at a reduced price!!! I am going to assume you do a technique or something when the club meets?? That would encourage the ladies to use what they buy....

One of my friends buys with me once every 3 months or so, and I offer to mount her stamps for her....otherwise she will never use them. That is a stretch, but may be wise for your business to keep these ladies with the rubber to the ink!!!

Shelly

I have a friend who works full time and commutes two hours every day, and she thinks my SAHM life is all bon-bons and soap operas and is envious.

I work my backside off with kids underfoot all day every day and I look at her Starbucks & designer clothes lifestyle, free time and spotless house and am envious.

The thing is, we women think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, and it isn't. Her comment just reflects that attitude. It was a little tacky, but I hear similar jealousy all the time from people sighing, "well, YOU have time to stamp." You just have to shrug it off. She doesn't understand that having a job doesn't solve all your financial problems. Just like becoming a SAHm doesn't solve all your family/housework/time issues.

In my case, my friend is seven months pregnant and is quitting her job to become a SAHM. I have been giggling to myself ever since I heard the news! Maybe it's mean spirited a little, but I can't WAIT for her to see what being a SAHM is all about!!! : ) hee hee She is in for a BIG shock.
(and yes, don't worry, I will be there with lots of chocolate and a big shoulder to cry on when she figures out what life is going to be like with a new baby)

Forgot to add I personally could NEVER commit to $40 a month... way too pricey for me. But I wouldn't allow myself to sign a contract because I just know I couldn't do it. This gal needs to be realistic and not be in denial about her finances.

Do you realize that .....that is a huge amount of money! That is $5,100 a year? Sorry I think that is way to much of a committment! I don't care who you are. We have a $25 committment, and most of us spend more than that. Even if you have a job I couldn't find $50 a month times 12 worth of things I have to have in the catalog. I think that just because you can afford this doesn't mean that every one can. Why don't you open the group so that the hostess can invite up to 4 friends to her show. Then those who want a big hostess benefit can achieve that if that is the whole purpose of your group. I am with Sassybee on her thoughts. If it is a club.....every member and their needs should be considered!
You have been torched!
Shelley