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-   -   unappreciative receivers (https://www.splitcoaststampers.com/forums/general-stamping-talk-17/unappreciative-receivers-355677/)

sowaller 06-15-2008 03:18 AM

unappreciative receivers
 
I made FIL a birthday card. He never looked at the front only opened it and commented on the gift card inside. Guess he won't get another handmade card! Has this happened to anyone else?

harley91 06-15-2008 03:26 AM

Yes, and it drives me just as nuts! My family knows the time and effort that go into the cards. They don't all do it, just a "choosen few"!

lutheran 06-15-2008 03:52 AM

All the time and it doesn't bother me. Some people love handmade cards and some people don't. Still love making them and giving them, though.
Mary Beth

LeahsCreations 06-15-2008 04:23 AM

Yeah, I've decided that I don't need people to ooh and ahh. The real joy for me is making them. I like to pray for the person I'm making the card for while I make it, but I don't always do that.

sowaller 06-15-2008 04:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeahsCreations (Post 10169006)
Yeah, I've decided that I don't need people to ooh and ahh. The real joy for me is making them. I like to pray for the person I'm making the card for while I make it, but I don't always do that.

That is a wonderful suggestion. I pray a lot, but have never thought about praying for the person receiving the card. Love it!!!

pjw2855 06-15-2008 05:00 AM

The enjoyment is in the creativity in making the card. My thoughts and care for that person are shared in the card. I don't need a 'nice job on the card' praise from them.

Please don't let the lack of a verbal praise from the person stop you from continuing to create cards for anybody. If you enjoy creating the cards, that's the most important thing.

Patti

LateBlossom 06-15-2008 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lutheran (Post 10168892)
All the time and it doesn't bother me. Some people love handmade cards and some people don't. Still love making them and giving them, though.
Mary Beth

ITA

cat_woman 06-15-2008 06:05 AM

Most of the people (adults) I make cards for know how much effort goes into it, so they usually express some kind of gratitude. However, my little niece is usually only interested in the $5 I usually put inside her cards. :lol:

LeahsCreations 06-15-2008 06:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cat_woman (Post 10169733)
Most of the people (adults) I make cards for know how much effort goes into it, so they usually express some kind of gratitude. However, my little niece is usually only interested in the $5 I usually put inside her cards. :lol:

It really is a bummer when adults act like kids though. :)

StampBug72 06-15-2008 07:05 AM

LOL
 
I say NO MORE HANDMADE CARDS for that person!.. LOL j/k

That's the Sassy in me speaking out loud...

But I know what you mean.

I have an opposite problem myself... If I procrastinate too long (has happened) and I end up picking up a store bought card and sending money or gift card or something... I get that OMG you sent me a store bought card... but we LOVE your handmade cards... and they make me feel bad.

This year one of my goals is to have all special occasion cards made 2 mos in advance.... So far So good.

Happy Stamping Ladies ;)
~Jaime

ellepaul 06-15-2008 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeahsCreations (Post 10169006)
Yeah, I've decided that I don't need people to ooh and ahh. The real joy for me is making them. I like to pray for the person I'm making the card for while I make it, but I don't always do that.

Awesome! I do that as well!

MaryAnnK 06-15-2008 08:16 AM

The friends that I make cards for always comment on them. Family - sometimes. My brother called me last month to thank me for the birthday card I made for him. MY SIL makes cards now, so he is more aware.

Like most of the other posters, the joy is in the making and having an excuse to indulge my passion (and justify all the money I've spent over the years).

stampwithjoanne 06-15-2008 08:35 AM

You can find great store-bought cards for .25 at most thrift stores. That's what this person would get from me in the future (stock up on those thrift store cards!!!)

Luciesfloozies 06-15-2008 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sowaller (Post 10168796)
I made FIL a birthday card. He never looked at the front only opened it and commented on the gift card inside. Guess he won't get another handmade card! Has this happened to anyone else?

I don't want to sound like a "man basher", but isn't that just like a man to not notice?? Some men are more sensitive to those things, and they DO notice.

I made my dad a Shirt card, and he said "it was cute, the one with the bottons?" The buttons were purple, because it's my favorite color!

My Mom absolutely loves my handmade cards. She saves them all.

I was recently at a baby shower and me and another person gave handmade cards, and everyone commented on them!!
No one commented on the store bought ones!!;)

buggainok 06-15-2008 09:10 AM

Well, here's my take on this: I like making cards. I don't like buying cards, even cheap ones. So I make cards for people in my family when there is an occasion to do so.

Like others have said, the fun for me is in the process of creating the card.

My sweet departed dad had a wonderful saying: "It takes all kinds, and they're all here." That is really the truth, especially when it comes to family members, lol.

For the most part, the gals that I give cards to really like them and appreciate the work that goes into them. The guys - not so much. But I make cards for the guys anyway. I know their wives will enjoy looking at them, and I know I have fun making them.

MaryAnnK 06-15-2008 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buggainok (Post 10171159)
My sweet departed dad had a wonderful saying: "It takes all kinds, and they're all here." That is really the truth, especially when it comes to family members, lol.

So true.

ebethneu 06-15-2008 09:25 AM

My sister never shows any appreciation for something handmade, so I know going into it she probably won't care about it.

But I like making cards and gifts so I do it for myself as well as the receiver.

Crafter 4 Life 06-15-2008 09:36 AM

I just started in the papercrafting hobby. As long as I can remember, I have enjoyed working with my hands-sewing, crocheting, knitting, etc. I have 4 sisters and I am the only one who really is 'in' to handmade gifts. My family and friends are my biggest supporters. (My in-laws not so much.)

I went to a class where we made small books for journals/photos. Gave one to my niece which she saved to scrapbook her daughter's 2nd grade year. I got a thank you from Nina-thank you for the butterfly book (a butterfly was stamped on c/s and matted to the front of the book), the frog magnets (she loves frog-don't know why), etc. The thank you ended with, " I love them all!!!"

If some recipients don't appreciate your personal thought-out efforts, others will and they balance out. Don't let the ones who don't know how much more personal that handmade card/gifts is spoil you enjoyment of the process.

gargyrle55 06-15-2008 09:44 AM

Most people really appreciate that I take the time to make them a handmade card. I LOVE the OOOHH's and AAAHH's. If I didn't get that reaction most of time it wouldn't be near as much fun making them!!

bonnieb 06-15-2008 11:12 AM

My husband says guys (generally speaking) don't really care about cards. I don't really hear very often from people I send cards to. I try to do my best work on my fellow stampers. They get the more expensive embellishments, because I know they won't just get thrown away. If they did throw it away they would try to reuse the embellishments and it wouldn't be a waste. Spend more time on the ladies. They like the cards more often. If they don't, it's not worth thinking about someone that doesn't appreciate the time and effort you spent to make it. Just enjoy the process for your self.

LaurieR 06-15-2008 11:25 AM

DH doesn't say much about the cards I make, and that is fine because I don't ooh and ahh over the fish he catches when out fishing. That's his thing and the cards are mine.

My uncle LOVES the cards I make.

My Grandmas, Mom and MIL save my cards, and when I give cards at showers they are ALWAYS passed around and commented on. Makes me feel great! Honestly, women are more sensitive, and men, well, they're men!

pidgesmom 06-15-2008 11:33 AM

I have two SIL's - one doesn't acknowledge anything handmade and the other has commented "You made this? You must have too much time on your hands." I have deemed them both not cardworthy. They usually get whatever $store notecard I have on hand now. I don't need to be complimented - all I would expect is a thank you.

mungojerry 06-15-2008 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bonnieb (Post 10171996)
My husband says guys (generally speaking) don't really care about cards...

Yes, my husband said that as well and it was further confirmed by my boss. From time to time, I give one that a man is impressed by and keeps. But, either way, it doesn't really bother me. Some women don't care about cards either. I make cards because it makes ME happy. If it makes some of the recipients happy, that's great too. :) Even if someone doesn't comment on the card, somewhere, possibly very deep inside, he (or she) probably appreciates that you've remembered them. In the end, that's was really important, in my opinion anyway. :)

scrapamiga 06-15-2008 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pidgesmom (Post 10172100)
one doesn't acknowledge anything handmade and the other has commented "You made this? You must have too much time on your hands."

This seems so rude. Maybe there's a little bit of jealousy going on here! Perhaps they wish they had the time and talent you possess! I don't blame you for not deeming them cardworthy!

MaryEileen 06-15-2008 01:29 PM

I enjoy making cards for people. It's surprising sometimes who appreciates and saves the cards. Both my brothers and both my sons have told me they have every card I ever made them. I get many appreciative comments, and sometimes just a quick glance.

Sometimes people have told me they looked at the cards later, and realized the detail or work that went into them. If people don't appreciate it, that's ok with me. The pleasure is in the making and giving. If I get a snarky comment like, "you have too much time on your hands", then they get a simple basic card the next time. Eileen

kmccullo 06-15-2008 03:20 PM

I had the same issue with my brother who does like your FIL. I made him a card this year. It was a black happy birthday stamped on a piece of folded notebook paper. He actually called me to ask what was up. I said the effort in making it was equal to the amount of time and appreciation he had for the last card I gave him. His wife, a cardmaker, was cracking up in the background and told him that it serves him right. She hate it when he ignores her work too.

sparksdm 06-15-2008 05:06 PM

My son appreciates the cards I make him, but he tells me that the "glitter stuff" I put on them make them harder to shred. Hmmmmm. I still make them for him. If he happens to be home when he gets one he gives it back after he is through looking at it.

GardenB 06-15-2008 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kmccullo (Post 10173617)
I had the same issue with my brother who does like your FIL. I made him a card this year. It was a black happy birthday stamped on a piece of folded notebook paper. He actually called me to ask what was up. I said the effort in making it was equal to the amount of time and appreciation he had for the last card I gave him.

I was just thinking along these same lines. For those folks in your life who don't appreciate your handmade cards, I wonder if they'd notice a simple happy birthday stamped on folded notepaper.

Good for you, kmccullo!

barb

Stampin' Annie 06-15-2008 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cat_woman (Post 10169733)
Most of the people (adults) I make cards for know how much effort goes into it, so they usually express some kind of gratitude. However, my little niece is usually only interested in the $5 I usually put inside her cards. :lol:

My young niece adores any card I make for her. She loves it when I send her hand-made cards! :D

SophieLaFontaine 06-15-2008 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buggainok (Post 10171159)
For the most part, the gals that I give cards to really like them and appreciate the work that goes into them. The guys - not so much. But I make cards for the guys anyway. I know their wives will enjoy looking at them, and I know I have fun making them.

This had me cracking up! I have a co-worker whose wife is a card-maker. When his birthday came around, I made him a card, but the whole time I was making it, secretly I was making it for his wife (because she is a card-maker) rather than for him.

Stampin SandyH 06-15-2008 06:09 PM

I made my granddaughter a birthday card using a hippo stamp. I thought the card was really cute, but what made my day was how my granddaughter (7 years old) just kept commenting on how cute the card was and how she really loved it, then her sister reminded me of the birthday card I made her a year ago and what it was. Now that is neat when they can tell you what the card was you made a year ago. I sure couldn't remember. Not everybody looks at the outside of my cards either, but I enjoy making them and I will continue to give them for different occasions. My dh this morning opened his Fathers Day card I made and he said it was the best one he had seen. That made me feel good.

stampingPaige 06-15-2008 06:46 PM

One trick I do to let people know that I made the card is that I stamp a tiny hedgehog from SU that says "handstamped" on the envelope and I place the card in the envelope so that when the receiver removes it they see "Handstamped by Paige" first thing. Because I talk so much about how I love to stamp, most people ooh and ahh, if the receiver doesn't know that I stamp, I might say that I made the card especially for him/her. I told my DBF today how much joy it brings me knowing that I am sharing something I love to do with those I love! That's what matters the most to me in the end.

Doris 06-15-2008 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeahsCreations (Post 10169006)
Yeah, I've decided that I don't need people to ooh and ahh. The real joy for me is making them. I like to pray for the person I'm making the card for while I make it, but I don't always do that.

You know, I really love this idea. It is that added bit of love and care that really makes a card special....but a prayer, gosh that brings it over the top. Thanks for the lovely suggestion.

I always hope that they love the card, and appreciate it, but if they don't that is Ok too. It is a joy to make the card itself...and giving a bit of myself and my creativity. If they don't appeciate it, that is their loss. I still had fun.

nicksmom917 06-15-2008 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doris (Post 10176073)
I always hope that they love the card, and appreciate it, but if they don't that is Ok too. It is a joy to make the card itself...and giving a bit of myself and my creativity. If they don't appeciate it, that is their loss. I still had fun.

I don't know who wouldn't love one of your cards Doris!

<--- Proud recipient of a Doris original. Thanks Doris!

jazzytobi 06-15-2008 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pidgesmom (Post 10172100)
I have two SIL's - one doesn't acknowledge anything handmade and the other has commented "You made this? You must have too much time on your hands." I have deemed them both not cardworthy. They usually get whatever $store notecard I have on hand now. I don't need to be complimented - all I would expect is a thank you.

I have a colleague that said this when i used to give her cards... note i said USED to..

i do not pray (i don't believe in god) but when i'm making a card, it's my art, my heart, and my thought that goes into it. if you can't respect me, and my time, you don't deserve it, period. i do agree with the point that i do this craft for ME, but i (and all of you) deserve the thanx and respect from recipients of our treasures..

inkaddict 06-15-2008 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pidgesmom (Post 10172100)
I have two SIL's - one doesn't acknowledge anything handmade and the other has commented "You made this? You must have too much time on your hands." I have deemed them both not cardworthy. They usually get whatever $store notecard I have on hand now. I don't need to be complimented - all I would expect is a thank you.


ooh i hate this my dh has a friend when we get invited to their kids birthday parties I always make a card. Well the guys wife always has to announce real loud oh look she made this I sure wish I had that kind of time to do nothing all day and color cards. Then one of her friends said something to me like wow it must really be nice to have nothing to do all day. well after about an hour of these type of rude comments I snapped. And I look right at the woman and said you know it is nice not to have to go to work everyday and its nice not to have a worthless husband who sits at the bar all day and wont find a job. And because I have made better choices in my life then you I can sit down and make a card for someone that I care about. Now dont get me wrong there is nothing wrong with wives and mothers who work. I have gone back to work for some extra spending cash. And just because women work does not mean their husbands are worthless. So please if you are a working woman please dont take offense to this she just really made me mad.

tnclone 06-16-2008 04:49 AM

I make cards because *I* enjoy it. I'm fairly new at this and when someone appreciates my card, I love it. BUT, I also know that to some people it will just be something to throw in the trash. That's ok, too, since I enjoyed the process. I have heard the "I don't have time" comments many times in both stamping and scrapping. I just privately roll my eyes and think to myself, having time and making time are two different things.

I made my nephew a graduation card in his school colors knowing full well that he probably wouldn't even notice (or care). He has yet to acknowledge either the card or money enclosed. I had fun making it so that's what is important to me.

stampin'hokie 06-16-2008 05:10 AM

I make cards because I enjoy it. However, a little oohing and ahhing over what I have made would make me sooooo happy too. My FIL just opens the card and says "thanks for the gift card inside" no one on DH side of the family EVER comments on the card. I have quit showing my scrapbooks to my MIL because all she does is look at the pics (and very quickly, I might add) and never takes time to look at what I have done. Now, my father yesterday actually commented on how cute he thought my card was. It was very manly.

I can count on my mom and grandma to oohhh and ahhh. They always get my best efforts. (and of course, the ladies in the CGGW group :) )

boonstoon 06-16-2008 06:09 AM

Great suggestion to pray for the recipient as you make a card! I'll remember that. (I had also heard years ago - and I try to remember to do this - whenever you see an emergency vehicle in route to a call - to pray for the responders and the person(s) they're going to help.
Also - my son (who's 28 today) loves my cards. For my b.d. a couple of weeks ago, he didn't buy me a card - he says the store bought ones don't cut it anymore. Most men aren't as appreciative, but some are.
I agree with the posters that said they just like making cards and realize that some people don't realize how much work they are!

stamper1996 06-16-2008 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pidgesmom (Post 10172100)
I have two SIL's - one doesn't acknowledge anything handmade and the other has commented "You made this? You must have too much time on your hands." I have deemed them both not cardworthy. They usually get whatever $store notecard I have on hand now. I don't need to be complimented - all I would expect is a thank you.

Yep, have a couple of friends like that, and I not only cut back on what I've given them, but they get the cheap-o cards or a stamped card "dud" I don't care much for.

shirolives 06-16-2008 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kmccullo (Post 10173617)
. I made him a card this year. It was a black happy birthday stamped on a piece of folded notebook paper. He actually called me to ask what was up. I said the effort in making it was equal to the amount of time and appreciation he had for the last card I gave him. His wife, a cardmaker, was cracking up in the background and told him that it serves him right. She hate it when he ignores her work too.

I am cracking up over this too! You rock--so funny. Thanks for making my day lol.

cntrymom4 06-18-2008 09:07 AM

Actually, I give handmade cards for the Joy it gives me to give it. And of course the fun of making it. I know I gave them a little piece of me and it was special and from the heart, even if they through it away. Of course it breaks your heart to see someone just toss you aside, but I'll still keep giving.
Sandee

susansews2 06-18-2008 09:26 AM

I've been making cards for a LONG, long time, (I'm nearly 60), and I've found that if I make the card unique to the person receiving it, it means a lot more to them, (ie... golf theme for golfers, cooking/sewing theme for susie-homemakeer, etc.). But... if I make a fancy, involved card that is more about ME and my fun, it doesn't go over as well. If I keep the project about the person receiving it, and not about myself, I feel better, too. Praying for them while creating the card is a wonderful idea!

cycworker 06-18-2008 09:30 AM

I just make cards because I love it. I don't care whether people ooh and ahh over them.

Snellybelle 06-18-2008 09:31 AM

I learned a lesson, my dh's old 85 year old aunt got a set of my handmade cards for her birthday. She said "Oh, thanks" and put 'em back in the bag they came in. I thought she really didn't care or didn't want them or hated them. The next week I found out she spread them out on her coffee table and showed family members that came to visit her later. She told them she could never use them because they were "so special" and thought they were the prettiest cards she ever has seen. Some people just can't show appreciation even when they do appreciate.

wickedaunt 06-18-2008 09:34 AM

I am always amazed at the number of people who actually look forward to receiving one of my cards. I have a male friend who puts them all in a lucite display case (they are themed around his prize TravelAll). I think he's secretly in love with me (don't tell my husband, wink, wink). Every Halloween I stamp take-out boxes, fill them with candy, and give them to the people at work. Last year I found my boss's in his garbage can, so I grabbed it and took it home. Guess what he's getting next Halloween? When I kidded him about it later, he said he didn't know it was something I had made, it was that good (nice recovery). So ... I like to think that if someone doesn't appreciate a handstamped card, then maybe they don't know any better (hello, it's stamped "hand made by Diana" on the back.) The joy in making the cards, and especially with someone in mind is what it's all about. Also, man bashing aside, the men in my life really appreciate the hand made cards.

tchk 06-18-2008 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeahsCreations (Post 10169006)
Yeah, I've decided that I don't need people to ooh and ahh. The real joy for me is making them. I like to pray for the person I'm making the card for while I make it, but I don't always do that.

The nuns in grade school taught us about "making an intention" out of an action. This is, in fact, a form of prayer.

I always make an intention when I crochet a baby blanket for a newborn, for example. Each stitch then becomes a prayer for the expected child.

Using card making as a form of prayer is a wonderful idea! While I have used it for years in my needlework, I never thought of doing it while making a special card- thanks so much for the reminder!

ShariW 06-18-2008 09:40 AM

I've kinda stopped paying attention. My mom never commented on the cards I made, except the one I made for her and forgot to put "mom" or "mother' on it. However, when she passed away almost 4 years ago I was in for a surprise. I found every card I made for her tucked away in drawers. I've been doing this for years and didn't know my mom did it as well. When I opened some of these drawers, there was a card that could be seen immediately. I never stopped making her cards because my husband told me that since I have more invested in my card making than Hallmark everyone gets a handmade card. :) :) I also realize that when I make my CHRISTmas cards, that some of them will just plain go in the circular file. I'm with all of you who love to make cards and let the joy go to those who find joy in them and the rest of them are missing out! :)

swimmermama 06-18-2008 09:40 AM

Hmmmm...
 
When I have time, I love to make wrapping paper for gifts. Sometimes I stamp the gift when it's already wrapped - there is so much less stamping that way. But that causes everyone to realize that it's handstamped, and I get uncomfortable that it takes the attention away from the person receiving the gift.

I actually like to see them just say "Thanks!" and then treat it like everything else. I figure I do it for them, so taking away from their moment is just the opposite of my intention, even if they are just trying to be nice.

MiamiKel4 06-18-2008 09:43 AM

Ohhhhhhh yes, it has. In fact, one family member (shall remane nameless!) said "um, what's with the card - are we trying to save some trees?" >:( I was floored! I spent HOURS on it! Yes, that's hours, lol. But, I didn't take it personally, I just learned from it and didn't make the same mistake twice with her :)
I think one of the nicest gifts you can give is something from the heart. It only takes a second to buy a card in the store, but its something really joyous to know that you can give or receive something so unique and personalized, created in the heart and mind of a friend just for you! That really says a lot. I have cards sitting in my craft room that are one of a kind - made just for me. They aren't in any store :*)


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