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Whenever I participate in a challenge here on SCS, I try to take the time to comment on as many other cards in the challenge gallery as I can. I try to say more than "nice" or "pretty" often commenting on aspects of the card I liked. I have never once, intentionally or un-intentionally made a negative comment.
Apparently today though someone took offense to a comment I made in the color challenge gallery. Instead of pm'ing me to let me know what she thought the problem was, she left a comment on my blog saying:
"What is it with you and your backhanded compliments you leave people on SCS? If you have nothing positive to say about someone's creations, maybe you shouldn't say anything at all. You're quite rude. :( "
I was completely taken aback. I have never left a negative comment for anyone and I have never had anyone accuse me of being rude. I deleted the comment on my blog but she left another one later on saying the same thing. Reading that comment really brought down my mood on what was an already bad day in my life.
I wanted to write to her to let her know that I'm sorry if she took any comment I made as offensive as it was certainly not my intention, but her blogger profile was not available. I went back through all the comments I had made today to see if any of the card posts matched her first name (the only thing listed in her blog comment) or to see if I could find any post that didn't come out as I had intended, and honestly, I can't find anything that I wrote that anyone would take offense at.
I won't mention this person's name because I wouldn't want to embarrass her - even though she quite embarrassed me having her comment be public to all my blog viewers. All I want to say to her is that I am truly sorry if I offended you. It certainly wasn't intentional. And if you would like to let me know what it is that you think I posted that was offensive, you can pm me.
I hope that anyone else who feels that they were offended by any comment from anyone will assume that it was un-intentional and pm the person rather than make anonymous comments.
Has anyone else received such comments either on their blog or on a post or a pm? How have you handled it?
I can't imagine ever leaving someone a rude comment like that! I'm so sorry that someone felt that they needed to deal with an issue in that way. A pm or e-mail would have been more appropriate.
FWIW, you've commented on some of my cards and have never been anything other than pleasant. I'm sorry you're having a bad day. ((hugs))
Splitcoast Dirty Dozen Alumni Creative Crew SU Design Team Alumni
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I just wanted to say I'm sorry this happened to you! She definitely shouldn't have left it on your blog! I know how you feel though...I had someone get really upset with me about comments during the color renovation.
I was trying to be upbeat and positive about the whole thing and would never say anything to hurt or upset anyone but someone took great offense at my comments (although they never could quote exactly what upset them) and I try to be helpful around here. I got an email from them after they looked up my blog..so at least it was private. And I'm pretty sure the sad person created a fake email address just for that, silly! It really upset me though so I feel for you...try not to worry about it and just be who you are. Some people have issues...or too much time on their hands..or are just mean...or all of the above:-)
I emailed her back very politely (at least as polite as I could muster) and never heard back...hence the fake email address. It made me mad that she didn't at least "man up" to her comments and tell me who she was and what I had said that made her so mad.
So cheer up buttercup and keep doin what you're doin!!!! HUGS!
I'm so sorry, I think it's awful that someone left a negative comment on your blog. Obviously they're not brave enough to confront you through a PM where you could both discuss things privately, choosing instead to humiliate you to your blog readers. People are very brave when they are sure they're anonymous but face to face (or even PM to PM!) are too cowardly to speak their mind.
Cheer up, most likely no one read the comment on your blog and you can proudly hold your head high knowing you did nothing wrong.
__________________ The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. Practice safe eating always use condiments
WOW! And what was that about having something nice to say! By the way, I love your gallery! Was that a backhand compliment!? I hope not! lol
If you know yourself, then let's give them the benefit of the doubt, and say they simply misunderstood.
: )
So sorry that happened to you. I will never understand people who go on the attack instead of sending a polite PM.
I have a friend and coworker who is a newbie here on SCS and also a new stamper. She uploaded a card and identified the stamps as being from Joann's. Someone commented on her card saying "I didn't know Joann's had their own line of stamps. Wait, they don't! You need to go back and properly credit the actual manufacturer for these stamps!" My friend doesn't hardly ever get comments on her cards and getting a mean one left her almost in tears. The thing is, she always goes out of her way to do everything right and help everyone. If the person had pm'ed her and asked her to give the manufacturer, she would have been glad to do it.
I know getting a mean comment can really bring you down. But don't forget that almost all of us here love your comments (and your artwork)!
Just visited your blog! Love it! I will make sure NOT to leave backhanded comments! See, you gotta laugh about stuff like that. Don't let it get you down. Now smile! I insist!
: )
Susan, I have never, ever seen a comment from you that was anything other than encouraging, complimentary and kind. I am so sorry that you were subjected to something like this.
I have a wrist injury (a permanent impairment) if I take the time to write "Nice card" I mean it. I don't mean to offend anyone by my short comments, but I like to acknowledge their creativity. Sometimes I am in too much pain to write more. I peeked at your gallery and your cards are delightful!
illegitimi non carborundum=don't let the ___ grind you down.
__________________ Fran aka the Fairydogmother
Last edited by UnderstandBlue; 11-16-2010 at 06:08 PM..
It is truly a shame that one person can cause so much hurt! I am sorry this happened to you! Hopefully all of the other positive comments, and support here will encourage you and brighten your day!
This is shocking. I totally agree that if you play the challenges, part of the deal of receiving comments is to give comments too. When I do play, like you, I try to leave as many positive comments as I can.
Do you think that this person mistook "interesting" as a sarcastic comment? I think the true meaning is that it got you thinking and was something that you would have never done. It doesn't mean that it is bad. There is all kinds of art out in the world that I find interesting and who knows, maybe it will give me the inspiration to try something different in the future.
Its a shame this person couldn't have handled it privately. From your explanation, no doubt this person misunderstood the intent of your comment. I rarely get more than 1 comment on any of my cards, so I always take them as a compliment. At least someone found it interesting enough to look and comment.
I wanted to write to her to let her know that I'm sorry if she took any comment I made as offensive as it was certainly not my intention, but her blogger profile was not available.
I, for the life of me, cannot understand why YOU are apologizing to HER!! She's the one who went out of her way to seek you out in anonymity in a really childish and spiteful way for something you had no idea you did!!! (if you even did it.. I don't think you did, BTW) Don't give HER the satisfaction of a second thought.
To the random mean girl: deal with this in a more ADULT manner next time will you?? Don't go around insulting random good people needlessly.. Thanx.
{hugs}
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SRM Stickers and Deconstructed Sketches.
I, for the life of me, cannot understand why YOU are apologizing to HER!! She's the one who went out of her way to seek you out in anonymity in a really childish and spiteful way for something you had no idea you did!!! (if you even did it.. I don't think you did, BTW) Don't give HER the satisfaction of a second thought.
To the random mean girl: deal with this in a more ADULT manner next time will you?? Don't go around insulting random good people needlessly.. Thanx.
Susan, I'm so sorry someone left such a mean spirited and hurtful comment. You are so generous with your positive comments and didn't deserve that. {{{hugs}}}
...I have a friend and coworker who is a newbie here on SCS and also a new stamper. She uploaded a card and identified the stamps as being from Joann's. Someone commented on her card saying "I didn't know Joann's had their own line of stamps. Wait, they don't! You need to go back and properly credit the actual manufacturer for these stamps!" My friend doesn't hardly ever get comments on her cards and getting a mean one left her almost in tears. ...
Trina: I'm sorry your friend and new SCSer felt her by that comment. I hope it won't spoil her fun here and that she still feels welcome.
Just an FYI to all: if you do see disparaging or rude comments in the Galleries, please report it and the Gallery Mods will take a look into it. The "report" button is that asterisk * that you see on the right hand side in the Gallery comments section.
Quote:
Originally Posted by peebsmama
Has anyone else received such comments either on their blog or on a post or a pm? How have you handled it?
Great questions, Susan! This hasn't happened to me (yet?), but I would probably take it slightly personally. On the one hand, I would like to open up a dialogue and find out what I may have said that offended someone, when that was never my intention. On the other hand, I may just have to take a deep breath, try not to take it personally and let it go.
Sometimes tone can be so hard to come across in writing and often we sounds curt or rude, when really that's not our tone at all!
I hope sharing & reading others' experiences has helped you feel better, Susan.
Susan, I don't even know what to say......I find it very hard to believe that you said something inappropriate. You always leave such nice comments on my projects here. Don't give this person another thought. It's just someone trying to stir up trouble ----so don't let her!
Hi, (((((Susan)))), Susan here! I can't even begin to imagine someone 'acting' in that way, but from all the kind responses to your post, I hope those bad feelings are chased away.
I agree with all those posts above me about your encouraging words. I tend to ramble with my thoughts and try to type with expression!!! If you know what I mean. I am blessed when someone takes the time to comment.
And to philsmom, thank you for the reminder that there are issues in leaving more than a wow, or nice. Thank you for your efforts, Fran.
Since SCS is our arty family, I try to write out my 'personality'. Sometimes I wonder if 'they' didn't get my humor or whatever and have I offended them. It's hard to be yourself for others in the cyberworld. I am much funnier here than in my real environment...if that makes sense. So I'll close by sending gentle thoughts to you and thank you for being the sweet peebsmama I 'know'.
hugs,
Susan
__________________ Susan~~~One4Joydaily I'm a FAN CLUB member, U? MY GALLERYof visual Delights MY BLOG
I think it's terrible that she did that. Now THAT was rude! Is there any way you can set up your blog to accept comments only when you approve them? That's what I do with my blog. If she is a member here at SCS (and, if I'm understanding correctly, she is), then I would notify a moderator.
Some people are just strange and the internet is a playground for them. One reason I switched to typepad is that I can blog certain addresses from commenting on my blog.
Enough said!
__________________ Dear Paperlicious is my blog...with a series on how I'm learning to improve my cardmaking by studying others.
Fair Warning, I'm writing in Caps, but it's just to "highlight" a few words and stress their meaning. I'm really Not conveying yelling
I'm saying this kindly and I mean it as such, but why do some of us get all up in arms about little things? And take everything out of context? It's SCRAPBOOKING People! It's SUPPOSED to be a Hobby and THERAPEUTIC and Relieve Stress!!! Some of us Read in to someone's comments way too much, which is so sad. I have met some Incredible People on here, that are Amazing and have inspired me beyond belief! It's sad that some take our only joy away. I got into scrapping because of a semi-controling relationship and it was my only outlet to be me/creative without anyone critiquing me and my work. It was my therapy session, when I couldn't get real therapy. I have had a few people say some mean things on SCS to me, sure, I learned to dismiss them. It still hurt and I still remember who they are (LOL), but what can you do? I hate that there are a few bad "apples in the barrel", it's sad, but there are many more who are nicer out here!!
Please don't worry about that one spiteful (jealous) person! We understand your hurt and love you!
Susan, you are a very supportive member on SCS. I always appreciate your comments. Sadly if this person didn't have the courage to write and tell you personally in a pm what upset her then she deserves to be ignored. She has caused you stress and that is exactly what she wanted to do. Let it go and don't give her another moment's pleasure.
Everyone has already said what I want to say. So, hugs to you, Susan. You're such a sweet and supportive person, and the REST of us certainly appreciate you!
She has caused you stress and that is exactly what she wanted to do. Let it go and don't give her another moment's pleasure.
I like the way you said that, Kittie! I have had to do the same thing with some comments I have gotten here as well. If you let it go (easier said than done, believe me) then they are the only one with a churning stomach and headache...not you!
I am so sorry Susan... You have always been most positive and encouraging on every comment I have ever seen and everyone so appreciates it!
Don't let it worry you anymore and hope you have a WONDERFUL day!!!
Susan, you are one of the kindest commenters on the challenges that you participate in. I know...I've been the recipient. This person is beyond rude......a very insensitive person. I truly hope this does not deter you from uploading your cards from the daily challenges. This person is "small" in the true sense of the word. The many wonderful gals on this board outweigh her and any others like her.
Like you, I look at challenges as expanding my creativity, but by taking part I know that I should comment on others work as well as receiving comments on mine. It is time-consuming....no getting around it, especially if you leave more than a one or two word comment. I think the word "interesting" means that something made you stop, think and take notice in a good way.
I know this weighs heavy on you, but know you have many supporting you!
So sorry that happened to you. I will never understand people who go on the attack instead of sending a polite PM.
I have a friend and coworker who is a newbie here on SCS and also a new stamper. She uploaded a card and identified the stamps as being from Joann's. Someone commented on her card saying "I didn't know Joann's had their own line of stamps. Wait, they don't! You need to go back and properly credit the actual manufacturer for these stamps!" My friend doesn't hardly ever get comments on her cards and getting a mean one left her almost in tears. The thing is, she always goes out of her way to do everything right and help everyone. If the person had pm'ed her and asked her to give the manufacturer, she would have been glad to do it.
I know getting a mean comment can really bring you down. But don't forget that almost all of us here love your comments (and your artwork)!
I think that people can sometimes lose their tact when behind the safety of a computer monitor! As if this person who left your friend such a snide comment couldn't make it the rest of her day because she stated where she bought stamps versus who they were made by.
Obviously this person must know everything..therefor she would know who made the stamps in question, thus making her comment a moot point! lol
Sorry, but sometimes I tend to make things make better sense by looking at them through the negative persons eyes. lol
I hope you tell your friend to keep on keepin on, and not let some miserable know it all ruin her fun!! It takes a lot of courage to post pictures of your stuff, especially when you are new to doing it. Sometimes people forget that.
"What is it with you and your backhanded compliments you leave people on SCS? If you have nothing positive to say about someone's creations, maybe you shouldn't say anything at all. You're quite rude. "
Wait, let me get this straight. She is reprimanding you for supposedly saying something not positive. And then accusing you of being rude???
Well that's very hypocritical. She needs to take her own advice!!
About Gallery Commenting - Quite Upset
