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Old 07-07-2006, 05:45 AM   #1  
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I have been cleaning out my stamp room and reorganizing over the last 2 months. A stamping friend came over and bought mountains of it for $80. She got a really good deal and it was stuff too bulky to bother to sell on the internet (heavy cardstock, paper cutter, a very large ink shelf, drawers, etc.) I used the money to buy water color crayons and a few other items. Last night I got a message on my answering machine, now a week later. She said she decided she did not have room for any of the stuff and can she return it to me. Arghh! I cleaned it all out and don't want it back. I can afford to give her money back and she knows that, even though I technically spent it. I just do not want to make room for it all again since I don't want the stuff. There is absolutely no place to put it but right in the middle of my now clean and re-organized stamp room. What would you do? She is the kind of person who buys things at stores all the time and takes things back after a week or 2 just because she wishes she had not bought them.
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Old 07-07-2006, 05:54 AM   #2  
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Ummmmmm....... I personally would say sorry honey, it's a done deal! What is she thinking?
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Old 07-07-2006, 05:55 AM   #3  
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How good a friend is she? Could you say, "I'm sorry you aren't needing those things, but I didn't need them either, which was why I sold them to you at that terrific discount."

Then suggest one of those 'yard sales' that the LSS sometimes have--$10 for your table, and store credit for your sales.

My attitude would be that while Elder-Beerman may take things back, with me ALL SALES FINAL!
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Old 07-07-2006, 05:56 AM   #4  
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Easy call. First - decide what her friendship means to you.

If that's important, take the stuff back, give her $80 bucks, and consider it over with and a lesson learned then donate the product to a good cause.

If her friendship doesn't matter to you, tell her you don't accept returns, you spent the money she gave you on new organizing supplies, and she'll have to figure something else out.
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Old 07-07-2006, 05:59 AM   #5  
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat
Easy call. First - decide what her friendship means to you.

If that's important, take the stuff back, give her $80 bucks, and consider it over with and a lesson learned then donate the product to a good cause.

If her friendship doesn't matter to you, tell her you don't accept returns, you spent the money she gave you on new organizing supplies, and she'll have to figure something else out.
Ditto!
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Old 07-07-2006, 05:59 AM   #6  
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I should have added, regardless of how well she takes the 'no return policy', she will probably always hold a grudge or remember it every time she sees you. So, if you value her friendship, don't make it an issue.

Advice from someone who knows...
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Old 07-07-2006, 05:59 AM   #7  
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No way would I take them back. Just say "Oh, that's too bad, I sure hope you can find someone to buy them from you..."

Personally I think it is rude of her to ask you to take it back. just my 2 cents...
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Old 07-07-2006, 06:01 AM   #8  
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She is an important friend so I guess I will take it back then. I just so hate having to put all that back in my so clean and neat room! I think it is kind of blatant of her though as she knew how delighted I was to get rid of the stuff and she commented on how nice my room was looking.
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Old 07-07-2006, 06:05 AM   #9  
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Since this person has the "nerve" to even ask you for the refund, isnt it ok for you to have the "nerve" to say "no!"? Some people simply are not sensitive to these types of issues and just dont get it unless you spell it out for them. The hard part is wondering what effect it will have on the friendship........is it worth it?
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Old 07-07-2006, 06:05 AM   #10  
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Annabelle - You're right: it is rude of her to ask a friend to refund her money for something she bought. But, it'll be easier for you to forget about it, than to teach her new manners (she's probably past the age of learning anyway -- aren't we all at this point?).

I'm sorry it happened to you.
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Old 07-07-2006, 06:12 AM   #11  
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I disagree that if the friendship matters, you have to take them back.

After all, she bought them from you, and now she's the one being rude. Talk to her about this--tell her that you *really* don't want that stuff back in your house. Maybe you can help her find someone else to buy them from her? If she values *your* friendship, she won't want to do something to make you resent her.

You are equally valuable in this relationship. Don't let yourself be pushed around. It is equally bad on your side as it would be on hers. Talk to her and find a solution that works for *both* of you.

Just my quarter (inflation, ya know?).
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Old 07-07-2006, 06:28 AM   #12  
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Annabelle,
Firstly, I too am sorry to hear that this has happened to you. But I agree with jbrinn "You are equally valuable in this relationship." Surely something could be worked out between you. I would re-emphasize the fact that you just no longer have the space to accommadate these things and don't want them back. I hope it works out for you! Good luck!
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Old 07-07-2006, 06:57 AM   #13  
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Is this a whim on her part, or does she have a grumpy husband? If so, she may have trouble at home, and deserves your sympathy and patience.

On the other hand, some people are "returners", and it is a real headache for the businesses where they shop (and return!). I have heard that some stores now limit how many returns you can make in a given period of time to put the brakes on abuses, and send these characters down the road to another store.

Many of the respondents asked how you value your friendship. If you are comfortable with it, I would ask her why she wishes to return the stuff, rather than sell it or pass it along to someone else - just like you did. If she has a good reason, fine - give her back the money and cut her some slack.

If not, I would make it plain that burden of impulsive behavior weighs on one's personal credibility and reputation. I would gently let her know that if she doesn't have valid reason, then she is a bit of a squirrel.


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Old 07-07-2006, 07:00 AM   #14  
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No husband. She just said she decided she didn't have room for it either.
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Old 07-07-2006, 07:23 AM   #15  
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Gees, she has some nerve. I think she should take it upon herself to sell or give the stuff away, it is hers now! Hey if she put the effort into a yardsale she may make some good money. With that said if you take it back, you should set up a yard sale and see what you can get rid of, instead of moving back into your room.

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Old 07-07-2006, 08:08 AM   #16  
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On the other hand, some people are "returners", and it is a real headache for the businesses where they shop (and return!). I have heard that some stores now limit how many returns you can make in a given period of time to put the brakes on abuses, and send these characters down the road to another store.


AMEN!! I worked as a Customer Service Manager at Wal-Mart for years and that sums it up perfectly!! It's one thing to have the nerve to do it at a business establishment and quite another to do it to a FRIEND!
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Old 07-07-2006, 09:19 AM   #17  
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Hmmmmm....not much of a friend if she is willing to do that to you. If she harbors resentment at you saying no, so be it.
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Old 07-07-2006, 09:34 AM   #18  
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I don't think your friend's fickle attitude towards purchases is your responsibility. I would say no to her, and hope that *she* is the one who will take it as a lesson learned, rather than the other way around.
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Old 07-07-2006, 12:04 PM   #19  
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I think that I would ask her if it was possible for her to try and sell them herself now. She could put an add in the paper for $10 or less or post the items on ebay or a website (and probably make more money that what she paid you) and see if someone else is interested in the products. I think that you could tell her that you really don't want the stuff back and you're sorry that it worked out that way but see if she could try to get rid of it herself.

I would think that she could understand a soft, gentle approach to the situation.
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Old 07-07-2006, 12:09 PM   #20  
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I'd say, "I'll buy it from you for $25." Or maybe $40 at the most. But not the $80 that she was out. You can always re-sell it.

It truly is her responsibility now -- not yours.
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Old 07-07-2006, 12:19 PM   #21  
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Wow, I have to agree with everyone, what nerve of her to ask you to take everything back! It is one thing to return something brand new to a store, but to do this to a friend, I just can't imagine that!

Whatever you decide to do, there are many places here in town that would love to have craft stuff donated! The local shelter for homeless families also has a daycare associated with it, the Women's Resource center, our low income daycare, Head Start, our Co-operative Preschool, my church etc. etc! I have donated paper, stamps, ink, stickers, etc. to all of these organizations and they have all loved getting the supplies! You can get a tax donation receipt and save it to claim on your taxes for 2006, too! I do this all the time, (or you can make these suggestions to your friend as well!)
Good luck!
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Old 07-07-2006, 01:51 PM   #22  
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What an awkward situation. I see "both sides" point of view here.
If you can afford to buy the stuff back even though you spent the $80, then it might be worth it but you could still tell her that it is awkward and rude for her to do that to you. Maybe you can keep it in a pile until you figure out how to get rid of it again. The donation idea is great. Ebay might be good - just fill a priority box and send it off to the winner. Anyway, best wishes whatever you decide - Yuck!
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Old 07-07-2006, 01:58 PM   #23  
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I think it is a good idea to talk things out. Perhaps you could get an ad in a local paper or shopper. I recently purchased a "guaranteed ad" for $10 and the ad runs until my item sells. You might give that a try. Lots of people including myself love to find deals on second hand stamps. One bit of advice though...if you ever are considering selling off your things in the future...do yourself a favor and *forget* to mention it to your friend.
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Old 07-07-2006, 02:03 PM   #24  
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Being a good friend doesn't mean you have to be walked over. She's taking advantage of your good nature and being very selfish. What kind of friend is that? I would tell her very nicely that you are sorry but you really just don't have room to take them back anymore, and suggest some of the options others here have. That's just me though. I'll bend over backwards for a true friend. Someone that thinks they can walk all over me to get what they want does not fall under that category for me. At any rate, you aren't me ... so good luck with whatever you decide!
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Old 07-07-2006, 02:03 PM   #25  
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OK, I'm subscribing to this thread just to see the results. Anabelle, you have to post and tell us what ultimately happened. I'm really curious.

And for the record, I'm with the rest of the folks here. Your friend is rude and showing bad manners in asking to "return" the items. I'd be inclined to point out that you used the money to buy organizational stuff or Stampin' stuff or whatever...that you counted on both the money and the items being gone.

Good luck to you. I know... it IS a sticky situation.

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Old 07-07-2006, 02:05 PM   #26  
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If you really don't want it, I would put as much of it as possible into a flat rate priority box on ebay and take a picture of all the stuff that fits. Then you can list on ebay as a "lot" of stuff. You won't lose anything on shipping charges this way, and you can get rid of it while earning a little extra cash. Its amazing how much lots go for sometimes because people really want a deal. You can do this as many times as you have stuff to fit into the boxes. Then you won't lose your friendship and you won't have it back in your stamp room either.
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Old 07-07-2006, 02:26 PM   #27  
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My response to her would be: "Please, just take all the stuff to the goodwill, or local daycare, (or whereever you can donate it), and stop by here on your way home, I will write you a check for your $80 bucks."

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Old 07-07-2006, 03:32 PM   #28  
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Good advice so far and I am torn. I kind of like the idea of having HER take it to Goodwill. I just, so far, have not answered the message on the machine. I am thinking I am going to ignore it unless she has the nerve to ask again. I know--chicken little here!
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Old 07-07-2006, 04:55 PM   #29  
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Not answering her message is a little passive aggressive, but considering she's being aggressive aggressive, it may balance out. Maybe she felt like a jerk bringing it up the first time and won't do it the same way again.
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Old 07-07-2006, 05:07 PM   #30  
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I guess I am hoping that when I don't answer she will have second thoughts and we can just both let it go. If she brings it up again I will probably take it back but it will leave me with a bad taste. She is such a great person in every other way, I just don't want to risk a friend who has always been there for me.
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Old 07-07-2006, 07:48 PM   #31  
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My craft room is all reorganized and sorry, NO, I do not want the things I sold you, back. Why don't you try an ad on SCS, or even ebay, if no luck there are many places they would love a donation....nursing homes, community centers....Good luck, hope something works out.

She is asking too much of you, especially at this late date, and the room all redone. Her purchase, is not your problem. She needs to figure out what to do about her decision changes.
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Old 07-07-2006, 07:57 PM   #32  
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One more thought along the chicken-little line... You could email her? That way, you can really carefully say what you need to say as you can spend time crafting a well-worded message. And you're not dealing with direct confrontation, which sounds like something you'd rather avoid.
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Old 07-08-2006, 03:41 AM   #33  
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It is rude of her to ask you to take it back, but the question - as others have asked - is if it's worth losing the friendship over. Guess if it were me, I'd call her back (avoiding isn't going to solve anything) and nicely question what she requested with little light-heartedness. "I got your call. I was surprised to hear that you want me to take back the craft stuff. I guess I can do that but I really have NO IDEA where I'm going to put it now since I completely reorganized. Are you SURE you don't want to keep it." And if she insists, just find another place to take it - don't even take it out of the container she returns it in.

Maybe you could donate it to a club that serves the needy, disabled or elderly. Then you'd know that someone is REALLY using it and you can take a tax write-off on top of it.
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