anyone need some humour?

[shirlb19]

I just saw this saying on a canvas frame, and wanted to share:

"Relax, we're all crazy, it's not a competition"

(didn't know where to post this and since I think most go to general stamping first, I put it here. Feel free to move it to a more appropriate thread if you want.)

Okay, anyone else got a funny statement?

Shirl

[wavejumper]

Great idea Shirl! Always up for a laugh!

I like my friend's sig on another forum:

What would the world be like if liars' pants really did catch on fire?

[shirlb19]

Ha, ha, ha..........Reminds me of an OPI nail polish I have called: "Friar, friar, pants on fire"

Shirl

[melissa59]

The lady walking in front of me sped up, so I did.
Then she went faster, so I did.
She began running, so I did.
She started screaming, so I did, too.
I don't know what we were running from, but I was terrified.

Favorite OPI nail polish: More Time in My Day (color & saying)

[Dorie95]

I have mixed drinks about feelings.

What do you call a fake noodle? IMPASTA

:grin:

[gothchic]

People say laughter is the best medicine, but I like to think a big bottle of wine is the way to go.

Barb

[uncbballfan]

I don't go crazy. I just go normal from time to time.


One martini, two martini, three martini, floor.

And I put this on a shirt for my sister's birthday last year (with glitter vinyl):

Fifty - the Ultimate F-word

[shirlb19]

Quote:

Originally Posted by uncbballfan

I don't go crazy. I just go normal from time to time.


One martini, two martini, three martini, floor.

And I put this on a shirt for my sister's birthday last year (with glitter vinyl):

Fifty - the Ultimate F-word

Oh that first one is a good one. But then all the rest are too.

Shirl

[MissyO]

Quote:

Originally Posted by gothchic

People say laughter is the best medicine, but I like to think a big bottle of wine is the way to go.

Barb

Amen Barb! Me likie

[harvestmoon]

"A clean house is the sign of a wasted life."
I could also insert 'clean craft room.'

[gregzgurl]

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..."

"Stupid autocorrect - I always wind up sending some thong I didn't Nintendo."

"I'm just going to put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day..."

[sprtchick]

My fav OPI: Im not a waitress.

Great thread

[gothchic]

Quote:

Originally Posted by gregzgurl

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..."

"Stupid autocorrect - I always wind up sending some thong I didn't Nintendo."

"I'm just going to put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day..."

The last one slays me! I've had those days and can relate.

Barb

[Mrs Noofy]

Ha ha..these are so funny..what a great idea! These come to mind -

Don't take life too seriously...you will never get out alive!!

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought...the wheel is turning but the hamster is dead!

and from my favourite personality Maxine - I couldn't care less..but I am working on it!

[basketdiva]

Silence is golden
Duct tape is silver

[fionna51]

Some of my faves:

They ask me why I don't have tattoos, so I asked them, 'Do you ever see a Ferrari with bumper stickers?'

Instead of a sign that says 'Do Not Disturb', I need one that says, 'Already disturbed. Proceed with Caution.'

I'm not weird. I'm a limited edition.

My idea of a Super Bowl? A toilet that cleans itself.

My craft room is not messy. It's an obstacle course to keep me fit.

The top ten reasons I procrastinate:
1.

[wavejumper]

Here's one for us as we always commiserate about losing little bits:

The comic David Brenner (who passed last year sadly) had a line I always remember:

"That saying 'It'll be in the last place I look'...well of course it is. Who keeps looking after you find it?" That might be a little nicer/cleaner but's it's the idea.

Maxine rocks. LOL. I always wanted to see what would happen if you put her and George Carlin in a room together!

[sprtchick]

My hubby gave me one Im going to use on some cards:

FRONT: This is way more than just a birthday card......

INSIDE: Its also your gift!

cracked me up!

[shirlb19]

One of my favourite quotes: "Housework, when done correctly, can kill ya."

Shirl

[QueenOfInkland]

"It seemed like a good idea at the time...."

Fun thread, Shirl!

[gregzgurl]

Saw this on a nightshirt today (bought it, actually): "IT'S TOO AM FOR ME"

[Metalcharm]

"Every now and then I open my mouth and my mother comes out"

[uncbballfan]

There's a fine line between genius and crazy... I like to use that line as a jump rope.


Turns out I am not an afternoon person either.


A friend told me I was delusional. I almost fell off my unicorn.


I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow. I don't even know what I'm doing right now!

[gregzgurl]

Sometimes I like to tuck my knees under my chin and lean forward. That's just how I roll...

[gregzgurl]

My husband told me to quit imitating a flamingo, so I put my foot down...

[buggainok]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shirlb19

One of my favourite quotes: "Housework, when done correctly, can kill ya."

Shirl

Ha ha! I have a fridge magnet that says: "Housework won't kill you - but why take a chance!"

[uncbballfan]

I want you to know someone cares.
Not me, but someone.

[gregzgurl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs Noofy

Ha ha..these are so funny..what a great idea! These come to mind -

Don't take life too seriously...you will never get out alive!!

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought...the wheel is turning but the hamster is dead!

and from my favourite personality Maxine - I couldn't care less..but I am working on it!

Cute! The one I saw was "Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought...that can't be accurate..."

[Dorie95]

Exercise? I thought you said Extra Fries!

And then...

I have Booty Do. It's when my stomach sticks out further than my booty do!

[gothchic]

Coffee, because I can count the number of hours I slept on one hand.

I have lost my mind and I am making no effort to look for it.

Barb

[fionna51]

Here's some I heard this morning...

Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

Flashlight: a case for storing dead batteries.

Half the people you know are below average.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

[Kate Stamps]

These are all great.