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Old 07-25-2006, 03:06 PM   #1  
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Question Need some advice- demo issue (kinda long)

I was introduced to SU a year ago by a co-worker (I had just started a new job and met her). I went to a workshop at her house and bought the starter kit not to be a demo but to get everything I needed to start stamping and her demo was also offering a payment plan on it so it was a great deal. I didn't know much about stamping yet so I didn't want to be a demo and let the membership part of it go. I am now an ADDICT!!!!

Then my co-worker decided to become a hobby demo, she holds a monthly workshop at her house where we complete a few projects and eat some light dinner for $10 and then we can place an order. Attendance has dropped dramatically, there used to be about 10 of us and last month there was only 2! I think it has a lot to go with how she goes about things and has made some people mad.

She's very hot headed and very much an "I have to be in charge" kind of person and loves a confrontation. Another girl got into it with her over something very petty and later signed up to be a demo under someone else. This made her hit the roof but I can see why the other girl decided to go elsewhere. She has also been very wishy washy with me on things, first telling me one thing and then changing her mind on it.

I am her number one customer, spending at least $200 a month with her. She doesn't really try to get other business and none of our other friends are interested in stamping. She would also never have the money to go to convention. I am wanting to be a demo to make a little extra money, save money on what I spend on stamps, make new friends with similar interests, get involved with the company, and I really want to go to convention next year.

I want to do this with a fun, active group who participates in things, gets together, does swaps, etc. and I want to be able to have someone (or a lot of someones) to go to convention with next year. I really want to sign up outside of her but I am afraid of the outcome and afraid to tell her this. I am very non-confrontational and very anxious when it comes to things like that.

Problem is, she's my friend and she's also someone I have to work with. (not in my actual dept but I do have to occasionally go to her for business related things) So if I make her mad, which I am sure I will, things could be ugly.

Does anyone have any suggestions on this?
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Old 07-25-2006, 03:29 PM   #2  
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EmmeLou - I was in a similar situation when I signed up to be a demo in October, 2003. The gal I had been dealing with was extremely flaky, unorganized, and had not a great deal of business sense. She was extremely creative, yet I always felt that there was something missing. KWIM? After discussing my options with family and friends, I decided to sign up under another gal who I met at a free workshop she was demo'ing at. For me, it came down to who I thought would help me along the way, be supportive, offer quarterly meetings, etc. Since I didn't agree with my original demo's business savvy at all, it felt more comfortable to go with someone who was more like me and who I knew would be available to answer my questions when I needed them answered. I chickened out and sent my original demo an e-mail telling her of my decision to join SU and sign up under someone else...she actually called me to confront me about my decision - ugh, what a horrible phone call that was! How do you tell someone you think they're not business oriented?!?! All in all, look within your heart and do what is right for you. If this gal cannot accept that, then she is obviously not someone you'd want for an upline. If you're on friendly terms, perhaps broach the subject with her in a round about way and see what her initial thoughts are...I know I'm the type that always makes things much worse and dreads things before they even happen - who knows, maybe she'll be better with it than you think!! Good luck and let us know what you decide...I'm sure the more seasoned gals on this site will have wonderful advice - I just wanted to let you know you're not alone!!
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Old 07-25-2006, 03:42 PM   #3  
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Quote:

Originally Posted by EmmeLou
I was introduced to SU a year ago by a co-worker (I had just started a new job and met her). I went to a workshop at her house and bought the starter kit not to be a demo but to get everything I needed to start stamping and her demo was also offering a payment plan on it so it was a great deal. I didn't know much about stamping yet so I didn't want to be a demo and let the membership part of it go. I am now an ADDICT!!!!

Then my co-worker decided to become a hobby demo, she holds a monthly workshop at her house where we complete a few projects and eat some light dinner for $10 and then we can place an order. Attendance has dropped dramatically, there used to be about 10 of us and last month there was only 2! I think it has a lot to go with how she goes about things and has made some people mad.

She's very hot headed and very much an "I have to be in charge" kind of person and loves a confrontation. Another girl got into it with her over something very petty and later signed up to be a demo under someone else. This made her hit the roof but I can see why the other girl decided to go elsewhere. She has also been very wishy washy with me on things, first telling me one thing and then changing her mind on it.

I am her number one customer, spending at least $200 a month with her. She doesn't really try to get other business and none of our other friends are interested in stamping. She would also never have the money to go to convention. I am wanting to be a demo to make a little extra money, save money on what I spend on stamps, make new friends with similar interests, get involved with the company, and I really want to go to convention next year.

I want to do this with a fun, active group who participates in things, gets together, does swaps, etc. and I want to be able to have someone (or a lot of someones) to go to convention with next year. I really want to sign up outside of her but I am afraid of the outcome and afraid to tell her this. I am very non-confrontational and very anxious when it comes to things like that.

Problem is, she's my friend and she's also someone I have to work with. (not in my actual dept but I do have to occasionally go to her for business related things) So if I make her mad, which I am sure I will, things could be ugly.

Does anyone have any suggestions on this?
Wait...so you already have the starter kit to be a demo? Then you're signed up under the demo that sold it to you, correct??

Am I missing something? She would be your upline.
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Old 07-25-2006, 04:03 PM   #4  
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Quote:

Originally Posted by EmmeLou
I was introduced to SU a year ago by a co-worker (I had just started a new job and met her). I went to a workshop at her house and bought the starter kit not to be a demo but to get everything I needed to start stamping and her demo was also offering a payment plan on it so it was a great deal. I didn't know much about stamping yet so I didn't want to be a demo and let the membership part of it go. I am now an ADDICT!!!!
I'm guessing that means she declined to keep up with the sales minumums allowed herself to be dropped?
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Old 07-25-2006, 04:04 PM   #5  
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That would be "AND allowed herself to be dropped."
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Old 07-25-2006, 04:09 PM   #6  
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This is really a difficult situation - I would be feeling just like you are! As hard as I would find it to do, I think it would be better to be up front with her about it before hand, rather than having her find out after the fact. I think I would try to explain that I want to do this as a business venture and feel that I really need to sign up with someone who is experienced in that. Someone with other downlines and who holds regular meetings etc, for support. Someone with an active group. I think all you can do is explain, let her try to convince you otherwise, and then respectfully disagree with her. Easier said than done, I know!
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Old 07-25-2006, 05:10 PM   #7  
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It would be best to sign up under a demo that will give you the support you want/need but....just a thought- do you know who her upline is? If her upline is active & holds meetings etc you could talk w/her 1st about the situation, then sign up under your friend (so no hard feelings there) then have the support of her upline. I know the demo I signed up under is EXTREMELY active & supportive. She holds meetings & get togethers for all of her downline even if they're not in her 1st level.
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Old 07-25-2006, 05:20 PM   #8  
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Quote:

Originally Posted by row4d
That would be "AND allowed herself to be dropped."
yes, you are right...I bought it last year when I first started stamping so I could get a lot of the basic stuff I needed but never sold anything and was dropped...I knew I would be, I was just getting started in stamping
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Old 07-25-2006, 07:04 PM   #9  
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I am a totally non-confrontational person as well. While it would be easiest to just sign up under her to be non-confrontational, just think of all the little things you could be confronted with over time if right now you aren't comfortable with her business style. Although it would initially be harder to deal with her "wrath" after sighing under someone else. It might be better for you in the long run if you find someone whose style appeals to you and you know you will get support and guidance from. There's just no point trying wo get guidance from someone whose style you already aren't comfortable with. Just my 2 cents. Good luck with you decision
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Old 07-25-2006, 07:32 PM   #10  
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There is no shame in wanting what's best for the future of your business! Find a demo who you respect, and who is able to provide you with what you need. Do not worry about this other person... in a few months you will be having too much fun with your new stamping friends to care about her crabby stamping ways!!

Good luck with your new business!
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Old 07-25-2006, 07:41 PM   #11  
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I just signed up this month. I had a friend I had been buying from, and I know she expected me to sign up under her. I had no intention of doing so, for a variety of reasons. Anyway, I had picked out a different friend to sign up under. Her upline was great, etc. Then my dh pointed out that it would be hard to be signed up under someone with whom I had a personal relationship. He was right. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted an upline who was a business associate, not a buddy. Fewer obligations, cleaner relationship. If one of us gets mad, it's only a business thing.

I did a little research and found the perfect person. She's a lot more rah-rah than I am, but she is a fantastic resource, and really, rah-rah is what makes her great. We have become friends somewhat already, and I have been to one stamping event at her home. It has been very freeing for me to know that there are no strings!

I guess my point, if I actually have one, is that if you pick an entirely unrelated person to sign up under, you can say, "I needed to sign up with someone I didn't already have a relationship with. It's the only way I'm comfortable. Thanks for everything I've learned from you--it helped me pick just the right upline for me." And smile, girl, smile!

It took a few weeks for my original demo to come to terms with my decision, but now she's fine. Above all, don't choose your upline out of guilt! An upline can be a fantastic resource, and even if you only want to do this as a hobby--resources are a wonderful thing. Make a break; set a boundary; and be happy! It's very exciting to become a demo! Feel free to pm me if you like.
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Old 07-25-2006, 09:36 PM   #12  
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If she is just a hobby demo, she probably does not want a downline anyway. Use that as your key point...you want an upline that is a business demo and offers meetings and incentives. If she gets upset, you can use her "outburst" as a direct example of why you would prefer to sign up with someone else.

Good luck,
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Old 07-26-2006, 03:46 AM   #13  
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Your going to have to weigh how conflicts with her will affect you at work. It's no good to sign up under her if you're not going to get the support you need. However, the job you have now. How important is that to you? Will conflicts with your co-worker make the workplace unbearable? You need to keep in mind if the friction at the workplace is worth it. I would sign under someone else unless you job is your dreamjob and you'll be there until you retire. SU/stamping/scrapbooking, while a priority in mine, does come and do for many.
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Old 07-26-2006, 04:01 AM   #14  
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I like that idea of researching the demos on your demo locator and choosing the best one from there. That way you can say you did not want to sign up under a friend or coworker because you want to maintain your relationships seperate from your business. Of course you will have to acknowladge (sp) that she will loose your sales, but this will give her a chance to get out there and practice growing her business.
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Old 07-26-2006, 04:14 AM   #15  
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Quote:

Originally Posted by amysings
I guess my point, if I actually have one, is that if you pick an entirely unrelated person to sign up under, you can say, "I needed to sign up with someone I didn't already have a relationship with. It's the only way I'm comfortable. Thanks for everything I've learned from you--it helped me pick just the right upline for me." And smile, girl, smile!
This is an extremly graceful way of confronting this issue. Make this a "you" thing, rather than a "her" thing. Afterall, this is all about you and what you want and need, right?

GL - it's a very delicate situation.
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Old 07-26-2006, 04:17 AM   #16  
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Wow a lot of this sounds just like me! I am currently preparing to sign up as a demo by September. My current demo is a friend (wife of one of DH's childhood friends) and I feel obligated to sign up under her. But not sure that is what I want to do. Tough decisions.

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Old 07-26-2006, 04:29 AM   #17  
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I am in the same boat. My best friend is my demo and I keep her going with my orders and I really want to be a demo. I don't have a problem signing up under her but I know without me she won't have her quota for the 3 months. Most of my friends are the ones that order from her and of course they are loyal to me and are really hoping I sign up. I just moved my salon out of my house and have turned my salon into my stamping area and it is large and great for parties and workshops and I don't have a problem spending the money to sign up when I spend so much already. I just want the benefits for being a demo. I feel I do all the work and get nothing for it. I don't know how to approach it with her because we are such good friends and I don't want to loose that. Ugh!!!!!
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Old 07-26-2006, 06:07 AM   #18  
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Vee
I like that idea of researching the demos on your demo locator and choosing the best one from there. That way you can say you did not want to sign up under a friend or coworker because you want to maintain your relationships seperate from your business. Of course you will have to acknowladge (sp) that she will loose your sales, but this will give her a chance to get out there and practice growing her business.
What she said. I don't think it would be a good idea to sign up under a co-worker. What if she became your boss or vice-versa someday? That could be a very difficult situation!
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Old 07-26-2006, 06:13 AM   #19  
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A related question: If you are a hobby demo and people sign up under you do you have to do all the support stuff with them? What if you signed up only for the discount and not to add work to your life?
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Old 07-26-2006, 06:20 AM   #20  
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Quote:

Originally Posted by annabelle1974
A related question: If you are a hobby demo and people sign up under you do you have to do all the support stuff with them? What if you signed up only for the discount and not to add work to your life?
I would say if you didn't really want to support a downline, then maybe refer that person to someone who would want to......maybe your upline.
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Old 07-26-2006, 10:42 AM   #21  
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Quote:

Originally Posted by annabelle1974
A related question: If you are a hobby demo and people sign up under you do you have to do all the support stuff with them? What if you signed up only for the discount and not to add work to your life?

Your customers usually know what type of demo you are. If they are signing up just for the hobby aspect that is fine, but if they want to "make a go of it", and really push the business of it, they would probably know that you are not oriented that way, and could decide for themselves if they need a stronger business minded upline. Like Jeanne said- refer them to someone who can be there for them.
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Old 07-26-2006, 10:50 AM   #22  
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Keep in mind also that you have to SELL/buy at least 400 a month to make any money off of your first level. I also think it's not a great idea to sign people up under you if you have no intenion of training them or offering them support. I have a lot of adoptees you hang out with my team because their uplines are "duds"... While I don't mind the extra work (I still benefit because these are some great gals) I think it's a bummer because they can't participate in all our group actvities like incentives and contests.

This is one of the reasons I like the new Career plan so much. It really encourages people who have a downline to remain active and supportive to their downline.
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Old 07-26-2006, 11:08 AM   #23  
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To the OP...Sign up with a different company? the co worker can't be your upline if she isn't with the this other company.
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Old 07-26-2006, 11:43 AM   #24  
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First of all, you need to do what YOU want to do, regardless of anyone else! Don't let this person take something from you. If you want to sign up as a demo, do it! Don't give that away to her!

There's NOTHING wrong with signing up under someone else. Signing up under someone is a big committment. There's a lot to consider when choosing an upline. It's not like trying to find a demonstrator to buy from, there's a lot more to consider. You can't change your upline after you sign up, unless you want to quit for 6 months. If I were you, I'd find another demonstrator in your area. There's a demo locator on the SU site that can help. Ask if they have meetings or group events. Find out what they do to help their downline. You may have to talk to more than one demonstrator before finding one you want to sign up under and that's ok.

As far as your current demo goes, well you did say that she's more of a hobbiest demo right? Well first of all she may not even really care that much if you don't sign up under her. If she's just a hobby demo it won't affect her other than losing your sales. So just explain to her that you wanted to sign up under someone that was more active and had more downline. There's nothing wrong with that. Sure, she may be upset, but she'll eventually get over it. She sounds like the kind of person that thrives on anger anyway.

I know this is hard for you. I can understand since I also hate confrontation also. However, I don't think it's fair for you to give up something you want simply because you're afraid of upsetting someone else.
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Old 07-26-2006, 11:59 AM   #25  
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Everyone had such great ideas above! I'm not a demo and don't really plan to be one, but 2 of my good friends became demos (1 quit) and I helped them with their decision at the time. To me a good upline is someone that provides you with help and support in the development of your business. They have great structures in place to help you..the upline for my friends was the same person and she had quarterly demo meetings where she helped her downline develop more business, motivate the business they had and cross sell etc. She had quarterly stamp a stacks, monthly stamp camps, mom and me etc. Lots and lots of workshops. Her "Rah-Rah" attitude helped her downline with ideas and motivation. If you want to make this a business I think you can sit down w/your friend/co-worker and tell her you thought long and hard about what type of business you want. You don't want to be a hobby demo and you've decided that you need an upline that has a well established program and group of demos. tell her it isn't personal but you need that level of support. HTH...good luck and keep us posted

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Old 07-26-2006, 12:08 PM   #26  
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Ok, here is my answer to your problem.

I just recently signed up as a demo. I have several friends who are demos...this is how I handled it. I contacted each of them and simply asked what are the benefits to me of signing up under you. Then I picked the one who provided the most to me. Like, the girl I signed up under holds meetings for her downlines and her upline holds meetings for everyone under her and on down, they provides classes, support and are very knowledgable about Stampin Up!

Anyway, just use this to your advantage and go with the person that will help you grow your business.
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Old 07-26-2006, 12:20 PM   #27  
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I totally understand that you don't want to be confrontational but from a healthy standpoint.. if you want to be happy and have less stress I seriously suggest that you choose an upline that you enjoy and feel "on the same level with" . An upline is there to support you and help you with the things you need to thrive. If you sign up with someone that makes you uncomfortable chances are (unless you are stronger than I) you will just drop again..
That all being said it is possible to make it without an upline. Lots of people do but it just helps so much to start out with great support.
Good luck!! I wish you were closer to me!
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Old 07-27-2006, 02:35 AM   #28  
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Two thoughts EmmaLou: First, as hard as it is, you know you need to deal with this woman sooner than later, because as much as you'd like the problem to just quietly go away, you know that later just means uglier. Some of the above posts have given you some great ways to be upfront, honest, and still gentle. You can do it! (And let us know how it goes, we're all rooting for you!)

Second, are you using your real name? If so, is this "friend" also a SCS fan?
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Old 07-27-2006, 04:39 AM   #29  
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Btt. LEt us know how it goes. seems your experience could be helpful to others.
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Old 07-27-2006, 04:42 AM   #30  
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I agree with everyone else that you need to sign up with someone other than this person, but here's an easy way to break it to her if she gets upset......Tell her that by working with her and being friends with her you wouldn't feel right if your mutual friends decided to work with you vs. her. That way you're not competing with your upline. Just don't mention to her that you'll STILL be taking away her business!! Let her think that you don't want to jeopardize her/your friendship. JMO!! Shelly
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Old 07-30-2006, 05:22 AM   #31  
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Why not sign up under someone else and if (probably I should say "when" instead) your friend asks "why" you signed up under someone else, tell her that you did this to preserve your friendship and feel that it is a conflict of interest to have her as your upline. You could also make reference to the person you sign up under is another resource BOTH of you could draw from---in other words, she could also benefit from the person you sign up under as well if you share strategies, ideas, etc. you gained from her.
I just know from past experience it doesn't benefit anyone if one dwells on the weaknesses of another person. She probably knows her weaknesses already. So, if you focus on the fact that you are concerned about keeping your friendship and work relationship with her healthy, which is what you expressed, instead of her weaknesses in business habits, she may not become so defensive.
Hope this is helpful advice. Good Luck!---Jeannie
Quote:

Originally Posted by EmmeLou
I was introduced to SU a year ago by a co-worker (I had just started a new job and met her). I went to a workshop at her house and bought the starter kit not to be a demo but to get everything I needed to start stamping and her demo was also offering a payment plan on it so it was a great deal. I didn't know much about stamping yet so I didn't want to be a demo and let the membership part of it go. I am now an ADDICT!!!!

Then my co-worker decided to become a hobby demo, she holds a monthly workshop at her house where we complete a few projects and eat some light dinner for $10 and then we can place an order. Attendance has dropped dramatically, there used to be about 10 of us and last month there was only 2! I think it has a lot to go with how she goes about things and has made some people mad.

She's very hot headed and very much an "I have to be in charge" kind of person and loves a confrontation. Another girl got into it with her over something very petty and later signed up to be a demo under someone else. This made her hit the roof but I can see why the other girl decided to go elsewhere. She has also been very wishy washy with me on things, first telling me one thing and then changing her mind on it.

I am her number one customer, spending at least $200 a month with her. She doesn't really try to get other business and none of our other friends are interested in stamping. She would also never have the money to go to convention. I am wanting to be a demo to make a little extra money, save money on what I spend on stamps, make new friends with similar interests, get involved with the company, and I really want to go to convention next year.

I want to do this with a fun, active group who participates in things, gets together, does swaps, etc. and I want to be able to have someone (or a lot of someones) to go to convention with next year. I really want to sign up outside of her but I am afraid of the outcome and afraid to tell her this. I am very non-confrontational and very anxious when it comes to things like that.

Problem is, she's my friend and she's also someone I have to work with. (not in my actual dept but I do have to occasionally go to her for business related things) So if I make her mad, which I am sure I will, things could be ugly.

Does anyone have any suggestions on this?
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