need help fast !!!!!
 

Hi All
I need help with how to word an invitation to a party for a friend's son. He is graduating from college and they want to throw a party for him. The only catch is it is at nice restaurant. How do they word it on the invitations to let everyone know everyone is to pay for their own meal. I don't know what to put on the invitations without it sounding harsh.
Thank you for any advice. The invitations need to be mailed Sat.
bye
Pam

We had a party for Mom's 70th birthday and we worded it this way:

We will be ordering off the menu (Dutch Treat)

Nancy...

Oh, I like Nancy's suggestion, but you could also say "Meet us for dinner* at Wherever Restaurant..." and put the "*Dutch Treat" at the bottom of the invitation.

why not say

.......... is graduating on date.

We will be going to ..... restaruant

and dinning at 7.00pm.

We can't buy you dinner, but if your there we will buy you a drink.

Julie's answer is what is considered 'appropriate' for this type of thing. HTH

I would go with Julie's wording too. "No Host" says it all, and politely at that.

Thanks everyone for your help

All of the above suggestions are great, and beautifully worded and hopefully, the recipients of the invitations will understand "no host", "Dutch Treat"......however.......

In my opinion, if you're inviting someone to celebrate a special occasion where they're expected to bring a gift ..... I just think it's tacky beyond belief to expect them to pay for their own food. To me, it's a fundraiser. The "hosts" are just looking for gifts. It's an obvious attempt to throw a big party for the guest of honor without "the hosts" actually having to pay for a party.

I don't care about "their" financial obligations and the state of the economy......"they're" throwing a party at a nice restaurant.......and asking the guests to pay for their own food in addition to bringing a gift.

I know you're not involved in this, but this type of thing is becoming all too frequent and it really saddens me to think that people think it's okay to beg for gifts for their loved ones and not even take the time to do a little work, supply food or favors to say thanks to the kind and generous people who are attending their "celebrations" and bringing gifts.

I hope this "trend"dies quickly. It's horrible and selfish.

I apologize for ranting and raving but this seems to be the time of year when these situations arise.

e.

I think your friend should consult an etiquette guide. It is not good manners to issue written invitations to a "party" and expect the guests to pay for it. I realize that times are tough but it would be better to host a brunch or have a more casual event at home, IMO. There is no good way to word this because it isn't proper. If I had received an invitation that said "no host" I would not have understood what it meant (until now). Whoever issues the invitation is the host and should provide refreshments appropriate for the occasion. A backyard picnic with hot dogs and hamburgers is inexpensive and fun and has more class than inviting guests to an expensive restaurant and telling them they have to pay for their own food.

This is just my honest opinion, for what it's worth, and I don't mean to offend anyone.

Glitterati - you expressed my sentiments so eloquently! Thank you. I hope people take note of this. I agree - a backyard picnic with burgers and dogs is so much fun and casual and a thousand times better than "meet ya at the restaurant; bring money" (sorry, sarcasm is reeling its ugly head.........).

e.

I don't think there is any nice, polite way to say "we're having a party but pay your own way."

The ladies who threw my SIL's shower at a restaurant did the "pay your own way" and I think they called it a "no host shower."

But still, I think it's rude.

I'd go with dutch treat. I hadn't heard of a no-host party before. However, it might be a regional thing.

You're having trouble finding a good way to word the invitations because there simply ISN'T one. Etiquette-wise, if your friends can't afford to foot the bill for their venue of choice, they need to rethink the party plans or simply limit it to immediate family only -- themselves, their child(ren), and maybe grandparents. It's considered rude and incredibly tacky to invite a group of friends to a dinner celebration at a restaurant and expect them to pay for themselves, and folks have been venting to Dear Abby about it for years.