NEED ADVICE....DOG QUESTION FOR NAVY GIRL!!!

[Sweetsouthrngal]

Ok here is my predicament. I have been sea duty forever....and finally getting ready to go to shore duty. I only have a total of 4 more days at sea between now and when I go to shore duty. SO I figured that I would get my puppy now (cocker spaniel) when I take 14 days of leave to adjust her to the crate training and all. That way I've had her for a little while before I go back to work. My question is being single, who do I get to take care of her when vacation comes or etc? I know there are places...I'm just trying to weigh this decision before going through. My parents already said that they will not have any more pets in their house. I think this is due to the fact that our family cocker spaniel has cancerous tumors right now and is not doing too well so they are safe guarding themselves from the pain of losing any more. The thing is I've dreamed and wanted a puppy forever and here I am 29 and this is the closest I can get to having a kid right now. I really want to get it. Especially since I found one that I absolutely adore. She is an absolute cutie pie!!!! But planning on visiting the family also during the leave time...and they don't want the dog there...so I can't visit my family because I got a dog that I've wanted my whole life?!?!?! I'm just so hurt and confused right now. I know that this lil darling can give me so much unconditional love and make my life a lil happier coming home from the navy....but then how do I deal with the family and visiting? I need advice ladies and I need it soon....because I have to give my answer to the guy with the dog soon. THANKS IN ADVANCE!!! Trusting you all to help me out on a very difficult decision. God bless.

[PaperKat]

Hi Navy Girl,

It seems to me that maybe you are looking more for love then for a puppy. You need something to give you some unconditional love and something that will be there when you get home and can spend it's days with you. I know you are thinking of a dog right now, but maybe it isn't the right time for something that will need so much care and attention from a caregiver. Have you thought of a parrot or bird? Some types are so absolutely dedicated to their owners and will give you as much love and affection as a dog will (plus it can sit on your shoulder as you walk around the house!) I'm just thinking that a bird can be cared for so much easier when you are away. It isn't too hard to find a friend who will love your bird and take care of it, but it IS hard to find someone to do this for a dog.

Just a thought....maybe it isn't the dog itself that you are in need of right now, but what the dog can give to you.....

Good luck with your decision.

Hugs~ Kathy

[MonTigg]

I just got a puppy 2 days ago and they have been the worst two days ever- he pee's everywhere- cries all night and I just read somewhere that they are untrainable till 12 weeks then it should take about 3 weeks of steady training to get the job done! I don't regret getting the dog I am newly married just moved to Hawaii and haven't found a job yet (well I am not quite looking for a job yet ;) ) so I have nothing better to do then love and clean up after the little guy but IT IS SO MUCH HARDER THEN I EVER THOUGHT IT COULD BE- this is coming from someone that ran a daycare with 11 kids for 12 hours a day! Good luck- they are loveable let us know what you deside!

[stampysister]

It sounds like you've really thought this out. It is good to have time to crate train a puppy before you leave it. Once we began leaving out puppies, we had a small fenced enclosure to keep them in while we were gone, but then we had 2 dogs, so they kept each other company. As far as leaving it once you return to work, I'm not sure. Doggy Daycare? If you can afford it, it may be a good option.

I think you should talk to your family a bit more and tell them that a little dog is really important to you right now but you want to be able to visit them during this time.

Do you have any friends who can watch your puppy? It is important to spend as much time as possible with them between 7-11 weeks because that is when they bond the best. Another thing to consider is parvo shots. If you have to take puppy to doggy day care, it would be best if it is after first parvo shot.

Finally, if you decide to do a small fenced enclosure when gone (something under cover with a dog house and water, etc-- we put it in our garage), be sure it is extremely secure. We had this situation. We thought out little fence was very secure. Our puppy had never chewed on the things that bound our fence panels together, but one day they did. They escaped. One managed to crawl up several boxes onto a table where awaited and empty goldfish cracker bag. It was TRAGIC. He didn't survive. You can't be too careful.

Good Luck

[wereids]

Puppies are a big committment. It sounds like you won't have a lot of time to devote to an animal that will be totally devoted to you and totally dependant upon you. Until you have a place and time to be with your new puppy most of the time it would be better to wait. Give a puppy want you need to keep you happy; a safe and stable place, plenty of love, food and exercise and most importantly your time. Until you can do that you won't be a very good puppy parent. Sounds like you would be a great puppy parent when you in a more stable lifestyle. A puppy would be lucky to have you.
Wendy

[Jami]

Tough question, but I tend to agree that this may not be the right time to get a dog. PLEASE do not get a bird! No offense meant to the previosu poster but, having had both in my life (currently mom to 3 birds) I can say without hesitation that proper care of a bird (especailly any type of parrot) is far more than care of a dog - and most breeds live much much longer.

Good luck with your decision. It's very difficult to make such a long term decision just after having been through so much. Perhaps you could wait awhile until your life stabilizes more. Think about all the many unforseen changes that are very likely in your life over the number of years that would be this puppy's lifespan. If you feel certain that you can commit fully for that length of time, then go ahead and get it.

Please let us know what you decide.

[jdmeeks]

Puppies are a huge commitment and you need to be sure you're really ready for the responsibility before bringing home an adorable ball of fur. They can be frustrating to train (although completely worth it; but you have to be patient, patient and patient!!!). Also, will you have to go back out on assignment? Puppies and dogs like consistency and leaving for an extended period would be confusing and very hard on the dog at a later point - this is something to consider since the dog will hopefully live 15+ years.

If you do get a puppy, you can board them at "pet resorts" and some vet offices or have a local service come in and take care of them in your absence. Personally, I have three dogs and a cat and I just don't take vacations - last one was 1998 as I simply cannot bear to leave them with strangers (I know that's weird, but they are my children!)

[stitchen_tigger]

Heather, it sounds like you're trying to think everything through, but one other question. Are you likely to be deployed again? This would be even a longer separation for you and your puppy and something you would have to work out.

Best wishes with your homecoming and thanks to you and all your shipmates for helping keep us safe.

[Beachbound]

We had to kennel our dogs at the vet's office when we traveled, while it was not the best cost wise, at least I knew they were safe. I agree that a bird is NOT the answer as I now have a parrot & 10 parakeets and no dogs. Love my birds but would give them all up in a heartbeat for a dog. Dh says no more dogs.... we'll see; never is a long time ;) I agree about talking to your parents, maybe they'll change their mind.

[Sweetsouthrngal]

Ok....I'm not going to be deployed any longer... I have 4 days that I will end up going out to sea between the time I get the dog and December. I will not be staying in the Navy. I'm going to finish my shore duty which means no more sea time for 3 years...and then I'm getting out. I'm tired of the unstable life and unsure of when and where I'll be. With that said I plan on spending as much time with the dog as possible. I'd have regular work hours. 7 - 4 and then I'm home with the lil one. I'm totally committed in doing everything for this lil one. I even already have planned having all the supplies shipped to my door so that way all I need to do is pick up puppy at the airport when I get home. I realize that I'm in for a shock with the peeing and pooing all over...but that is to be expected with a lil one. I think the joy and love of the puppy though will outweigh anything I have to do and go through for her. Thanks for the advice....PLEASE keep it coming. I want as much advice and viewpoints as possible before I make this decision. IT IS GREATLY APPRECIATED!!!

[debbiedesigns]

Hi, Heather!

I have a ten month old Boston Terrier. . . I asked advice here, and I ignored about half of it and got her anyway. I'm thinking it was the wrong half to ignore! Who told you that it would take about three steady weeks to train her? I'm just curious because my dog is *still* piddling and pooping wherever she chooses, and she does not in any way let us know that she needs to go outside. I would have found another home for her already except that my five year old says he loves her. It sounds to me like you have already decided to get the puppy. I wish you waaaayyyyy more luck that I have had!

P.S. I just came inside from walking through the woods for a solid hour yelling for the dog. She wasn't finished playing and wasn't ready to come. . . Good luck!

[carpecakem]

Warning, I got a little long here... lol

Well I do agree that it takes longer than 3 weeks to potty train a dog, even if you start at 12 weeks, but start as soon as they come home, there is no reason to wait until 12 weeks. If you are very consistent with crate training, and your dog is an easy dog to train, you might get about 70-80% of pottying outside by 4-5 months, but there will still be accidents. And the accidents they have are usually our fault for not watching them, or forgetting to let them out. My dog didn't ask to go outside until she was 11 months old. Before that she'd sit by the back door and hopefully I'd see her. If I didn't, then she wouldn't always be able to hold it until I noticed her there. Then it will probably take up to a year to be totally reliable with potty training. I know many small dogs though, that take much longer, their bladders just are not large enough to hold it. I'm not sure a cocker spaniel would be like this since they're sort of medium sized.

When my puppy came home I was home for about 2 weeks with her, maybe 10 days actually and then the week I went back to work I was off one day in the middle of the week, so it was a gradual progression to staying home alone. I did also leave her for short times, an hour or two, while I was home for those 2 weeks, in her crate. I did and still do go home everyday for lunch for her to be let out at lunchtime, so she was never left for longer than about 4-5 hours at a time until she was older than a year old. I'd recommend that if you can't get home in the middle of the day have someone go in to let her out. A pet sitter or friend or something. Thankfully my family is very welcoming to my dog because she does go everywhere with me. They have had dogs in their lives but don't currently, and they are very happy to have a "grand-dog" to go and play for the day and then go home with me, and they don't have to do all the work. If my family didn't welcome my dog with me, I'd probably see them a lot less. They live several hours away so I wouldn't be able to leave her home to visit them. I do feel since I've gotten a dog that my friends have changed. I have gotten much closer to my dog friends and less close to my friends who don't like my dog. These are the people that ask me to put her in a room when they come over, I just find myself not inviting them anymore. It's hard to take her to my parents if they're having other people over, because those people may not like dogs. So these are things that I've discovered with having a dog that didn't really occur to me before hand. I don't mind really, I have met a lot more people who love dogs through my dog and they're all very nice people and don't mind a little slobber and hair! lol

I have gone on vacation a couple times since my dog came home. I also have 4 cats as well, and if I'm going away overnight, my sister will usually come down and stay in my house, especially if it's in the summer. I live only about 10 minutes from the beach so she uses my house as a mini vacation. I have also left her at my parents once and she was fine there. They made it like dog camp for her and had a whole itinerary of things for her to do! lol She came home totally exhausted, and very happy. I feel very relieved that I can leave her there. I would feel very uncomfortable leaving her in a kennel. Although I know a lot of people that do and their dogs are fine while they're gone.

I would never say don't get a puppy because I'm also single and wanted a dog for a long time and when I bought my house it was the first thing I did! lol I have never regretted it. It is a lot more work than you think it's going to be. My stepmother says it's easier to have a kid, I don't know about that, but it is very hard when they're puppies and not potty trained yet. I love her to death though and she has opened a whole world to me that I didn't know about. I would make sure that you know the background of the breeder you're getting her from. Many cockers from bad breeders can have dangerous temperments, so make sure they are good breeders. Find out if they know about the health problems in the breed and talk to them about the temperment issues in cockers, because even if your family eventually welcomes your dog, if she bites or is mean, the welcome will be gone. I have a newfoundland and I researched and learned about the health tests that good breeders do, for example this breed is tested for hip displasia, elbow displasia and cysturnia which is a genetic disease. So I made sure my breeder tested for those things, and asked for the certifications. I researched breeders for 9 months before I found my dog and made sure they did all the right things. So if you haven't done this, you may want to step back for a little while and find a breeder that will support you, gives you a health contract for the first year or two, does the health checks, etc. A good place to find that out is from the Cocker Spaniel Club of America, they probably have a list of breeders that are involved in the club and this is usually a good sign.

Anyway, good luck. I was right where you were about 2 years ago and I adore my puppy! Just today we went to a water rescue training with the local newfoundland club. So much fun! It's seriously a lot of work and a ton of commitment, but so worth it!!

[Sweetsouthrngal]

Ladies,
Yet again thank you for all your advice....besides asking all of you ....I also asked for GOD's advice too. Hehe I asked HIM that if it wasn't the right time for me to get the dog that the owner would not sell it to me. I received an email today from the owner saying that he did not want to hold onto the puppy for 6 more weeks...he didn't think it was good for the puppy and me for missing that initial bonding time at 8 weeks. SO GOD answered the question in timing and told me not right now. SIGH....a little sad on the decision...but won't give up...just know that RIGHT NOW isn't the time and in a couple of months it may be better. I'll just starting building up my doggy box for when I do get her...everything will be ready. Plus can do some studying on training...and maybe even find a breeder or kennel nearby where I live and decide to get one there instead. THANK YOU ALL FOR ALL THE HARD THOUGHT OUT ADVICE...AND KNOW THAT IT DID HELP AND GAVE ME GOOD DIRECTION FOR WHEN I DO FINALLY GET HER.

[carpecakem]

I think that's a great attitude to have, to ask for guidance and it seems to have been given! Definitely take a look at the Cocker Spaniel Club of America's site. There's a lot of info on there, I looked briefly yesterday after responding to you. Also see if there is a local cocker spaniel club in your area and maybe attend some events. Dog shows are great places to meet breeders too, just make sure to talk to them after they've shown, they're not stressed about showing then and have more time to talk! Good luck, it's really great to do the research before you get your dog, I know many people who've said they wish they knew then what they know now. I made sure I knew everything before I made a mistake with a dog that would be living with me for 10+ years! Keep us posted!

[Jami]

Heather - I'm sure you're feeling disappointed right now, but obviously you already know that the Lord's answer is always the best one. Good for you for seeking Him in this. I'm sure it will work for the best in the long run. In the meantime - study up!

[photocropper]

Oh Heather,

I am not sure that I can add too much more to what everyone else has said but I must say that you did the right thing by thinking it out....If this dog came along I am sure that another one will too....
Also it is a huge committment to have an animal of any kind. Being in the military as well I know that it is tough when you want to go on vacation and you have pets to make arrangements for....the mail can be held, the grass can wait or be mowed by the boy down the street but a pet you must have full time care for. Sometimes you can rely on another singe person in the unit to house and pet sit for you but sometimes it just does not work out that you trust anyone so you have to find a kennel and the good ones tend to be expensive....
So think long and hard before you decide to find another pet.


Shelley