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Old 08-14-2006, 05:09 AM   #1  
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Default fustrated with stamping

did ever happen something to you like this?

last weekend i gave my mother-in-law a lunch-tin with lots of cards inside as a gift. i really thought the tin turned out well (i even uploaded the pics in my gallery..... what i usually dont do when i think it is not good)

i have made cards with several different sets, i even bought specially to make her cards longtime friend because it thought she is a gardener and she might like it.

when she recieved the tin, she almost did not open it. when i asked her if she looked inside, she opened it and said: ooh, cards thats nice.. but she did not even looked at the cards. i was not expecting that she freaks out about it but at least looking or a nice word would have been good.

my husband said later to me that some people just dont like handmade stuff. well but she does sewing and knitting and i have to like the stuff she makes for my kids. i dont know.. she must know how that feels?

iam really thinking now... why do i even buy stampsets and all that stuff if iam spending time to make something to give to people they dont even like.

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Old 08-14-2006, 05:14 AM   #2  
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I hear ya!!!! I feel the same way sometimes...it can be frustrating, but don't lose hope! Someday someone will be thrilled/amazed that you made something for them or just in general and that will make it all worthwhile! I have made tons of gifts, tons of things for my dd's school, classmates...rarely do I get a comment...sometimes not even a thank you! But I love what I do, I feel good when I am making something (I like all kinds of crafts :0 ) and that makes it all worthwhile!
Join the challenges...I have found that a great inspiration...
Keep stamping, have fun!!
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:16 AM   #3  
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BTW - I just took a look at your gallery - awesome!!!! Your MIL is very lucky to receive a tin of cards from you!!!!! Keep it up!!!
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:17 AM   #4  
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Claudia,
Don't be discouraged. As long as you enjoy making your creations that is what counts, and giving them away as gifts is a bonus. Some people just don't acknowledge like we'd expect them to. No biggie. Her handcrafts are with needle and yarn and yours is a different craft. Maybe have her come over sometime and show her just how you create your cards, you might end up having a staming buddy.
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:17 AM   #5  
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I've been there. I no longer give handmade stuff to folks who don't appreciate it. Too time consuming and expensive. But, I have enough folks who either like it or say they do!! Do what you love for yourself first!
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:19 AM   #6  
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Here has been my experience. Before I started stamping I would have looked at a card and thought it was cute. Would have said so too. But, now that I have been stamping and scrapping for the last couple of years, if I do receive a handmade card, I look at it in more detail and really try to figure out what they used and how they made it, and I believe I have more appreciation for the card because I know all the work that goes into one. What I would do in the future is still make some cute cards for her but don't do anything elaborate. You will still have fun making it and coming up with ideas of what you will do with the card, and you will know that you have made something special for her from the heart.
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:21 AM   #7  
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Went to your gallery, love your cards! Those square cards are a delight and I love your Juggler...gotta case that one. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:21 AM   #8  
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Dear Claudia,

I am so sorry this happened to you. I had a similar experience when I gave a set of cards to my grandmother, who sounds a lot like your MIL. I know how much it hurts, even when we try to rationalize it. I hope your MIL will realize the treasure she has been given - that the work of your hands is a reflection of your esteem for her.

I looked at the gift in your gallery and it is lovely. In fact, all the work you have posted is quite beautiful. I think you might need to put your MIL on the "unworthy of stamped gifts" list. Consider the time spent as an investment in your own satisfaction. Next time you could give her a bag of potting soil!
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:23 AM   #9  
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I just looked at the tin in your gallery and it is great! I would be very happy to get a gift like that. There are some people, however, that don't appreciate handmade gifts and don't realize the thought, time and money that goes into them. Also, there are some people who just don't have good manners or are rude. You have two options...shower them with handmade stuff and enjoy watching them squirm or turn your attentions to others who will appreciate your art. Not everyone "gets" what we enjoy doing so don't let it get you down. Stamp because you love it and it makes you happy...who cares what others think. Personally, I think your creations are great and you should really just keep stamping!
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:27 AM   #10  
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I thought my MIL felt the same way about cards I gave her until one of her friends told me she had them all displayed in her room at the retirement center where she lives. So even though she didn't swoon over them like I had hoped, she did enjoy them and that is really what counts.
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:30 AM   #11  
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I had almost the same thing happen to me. I made a card box like the one on the front of the SU catalog but full size. Filled it with all occasion cards and gave it to my sister-in-law as a thank you for some salsa she gave us at our daughters graduation and also for staying with her on another occasion. She thought it was just a box of envelopes at first and then realized it was cards. Thanked me but weakly. I don't think that people sometimes realize how much time goes into making even just one card.

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Old 08-14-2006, 05:41 AM   #12  
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hmmm....
isnt it bad that thing like that happen to so many of us?
thanks for all your encouragement.
i think i will take the advice that i just dont give her the very nice cards or the one who are expensiver because of embellishments.

like melindas idea with the bag of potting soil... made me smile"!

thank you guys
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:44 AM   #13  
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Joan B
I've been there. I no longer give handmade stuff to folks who don't appreciate it. Too time consuming and expensive. But, I have enough folks who either like it or say they do!! Do what you love for yourself first!
This is what I do as well. The Dollar Store sells cheap cards and so if I'm dealing with someone who doesn't appreciate a handmade card (or, in my case, my SFIL stood there criticizing a card I was in the process of making ), I just buy one and send it off.

Please don't think that nobody will care about your cards, Claudia! Many people absolutely love getting handmade cards and will be delighted. My MIL saves the cards I send to her and has had some that she showed to others because she liked them so much. Don't let one bad experience ruin it for you!
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:48 AM   #14  
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Here is my experience with giving handmade cards. I've taken the time and effort to create something special and unique for people. They may not make a fuss over them because they don't realize how much time and effort we put into our "art." But, if I buy them a card for the next occasion, they say something like, "Oh, I was so looking forward to a homemade card." Or, "Don't I count enough for one of your cards." When those sort of things were said to me the first time, I realized that even though they may not oooh and aaaah the way I hoped they would, they still enjoy receiving them even though that might not have been conveyed. Keep doing what you love. I think it's appreciated more than you know.

Keep stamping and creating your beautiful work!
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:55 AM   #15  
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Your lunch box tin was beautiful. I am sorry she didn't appreciate it, her loss though. So many people love handmade gifts, don't give up because of one persons lack of appreciation.
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Old 08-14-2006, 06:02 AM   #16  
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First of all, your cards and tin are great. I too, had a former boss who told me "storebought is better", so I bought a box of Christmas cards a couple of years ago and every year she gets one of the storebought cards and I send the GOOD cards to family and friends who appreciate. I give packs of cards as gifts and get praise because the people I give them to know they are special and I care enough to send them the very best!

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Old 08-14-2006, 06:18 AM   #17  
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I made a pack of cards for my grandma one Christmas not too long ago. She appreciated them but didn't gaga over them like we like people to do.

UNTIL

A week or so later, when my dad was visiting her, he mentioned to her something like "well, she MADE those, you know!" which my grandmother had NOT realized. THEN she started oogling over them!

So maybe when people don't go crazy for our handmade stuff, it's actually a bit of a compliment - it's so good and professional, they don't think it's handmade so they don't give it a second glance. Maybe we should start tooting our own horns a bit and POINT OUT to people who open our gifts that we actually MADE them...

Just a ramblin' thought...
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Old 08-14-2006, 07:08 AM   #18  
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Don't be discouraged! Next time you need to get her a gift, get her a gift card so that she can buy something store bought and boring. The benefit to you is that you can save your awesome handmade gifts for friends and family that truly appreciate what goes in to it. A gift card takes 5 minutes to purchase and about 5 minutes to stick in the mail and you'll have leftover time to make awesome gifts for other people.

I think this has happened to all of us. My neice got married in June. I made her this card (see link) framed it in a nice silver frame and included it with their wedding gift. She has yet to say a single word about it, no thanks, no nothing. I am sure it is stuck somewhere in her house, she will probably never even hang it up. I should have know when I offered to make all of her wedding invitations and she said she wasn't interested. It hurts....but I have lots of friends who appreciate the things I made and send their way!

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Old 08-14-2006, 07:34 AM   #19  
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Joan B
I've been there. I no longer give handmade stuff to folks who don't appreciate it. Too time consuming and expensive. But, I have enough folks who either like it or say they do!! Do what you love for yourself first!
Same here! I once made a (what I thought was) beautiful counted cross stitch for a friend. I matte and framed it myself, and coordinated it to her kitchen/hallway colors. Hardly a comment when she opened it. No more handmade stuff for her.

I looked at your gallery and your things are beautiful! Honest! Please don't be discouraged by your MIL. Perhaps it would cheer your spirits if you donated some cards to a charity/church/nursing home where people would truly cherish them?
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Old 08-14-2006, 08:17 AM   #20  
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I guess my attitude about stamping is a selfish one....I stamp to give myself pleasure. If other people don't appreciate my efforts...who cares?! I enjoy stamping so much that to me the costs and time involved is completely worth it! You'll get your validation and praise from other stampers when you do something 'WOW'. As others have said, most people don't realize the amount of creativity that goes into stamping.
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Old 08-14-2006, 08:27 AM   #21  
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As a quilter as well as a stamper, I've learned that there are people who don't understand the effort that goes into handmade items. So I just don't bother to make things for them. On the other hand, I've made cards for people (and mine are not spectacular!) who have told me they've saved the cards. So I guess it all balances out.
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Old 08-14-2006, 08:56 AM   #22  
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I very rarely will go buy a card, I make them and expect that they will be appreciated *at least* as much as a storebought one. If people don't appreciate it, well, they don't know how much love I put into it and therefore are selling themselves short of realizing how much they are cared for.
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Old 08-14-2006, 09:15 AM   #23  
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I won't buy cards either. What I generally do is the ones that just didn't turn out the way I had hoped I give to the underappreciaters! Claudia I think you are very talented and if you would like some one to appreciate your work send it my way!!
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Old 08-14-2006, 09:35 AM   #24  
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I'm so sorry you had that experience - sounds like a lot of us have! I used (past tense is the key word here) to make what I thought were beautiful and detailed counted cross stitch samplers when my siblings had babies. One SIL never took it out of the closet and when she and BIL divorced threw it out..The others d/n really have a clue either.

I learned the hard way that not everyone appreciates homemade stuff...they definately don't have a clue the time and thought that goes in to them. So I'm rather particular about who I give my homemade stuff to. A single card I may not care as much (but still get a bit hurt) when its not acknowledged but I checked out your tin and your cards and let me tell you they are absolutely gorgeous and spectacular and anyone would be very lucky to receive them.

Don't let her attitude take your joy away in making your special cards and art. Its an expression of YOU and you just need to forget about sharing it with clueless people

Andrea

PS This reminded me of a conversation I had w/ my Mom. She always goes to the post office and picks out special postage stamps..like Happy Bday postage stamps for bday cards etc and couldn't believe that not one person noticed. After about a year of bday cards she decided it wasn't worth the extra trip/effort and went to generic stamps...similar lack of focus on the recipients part
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Old 08-14-2006, 09:42 AM   #25  
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The assumption that everyone goes out and buys things is very strong across generations in my experience. DH and I made a digicard for his grandfather's 80th and he asked me afterwards how we managed to find a card with a 1926 Model T coupe on it. He was very surprised to hear we made it specially for him. I made my MIL an acrylic postit note holder with pen and was very excitedly pointing out all the details I was so proud of, but she didn't realise I'd made it until DH later mentioned it.

(I was so surprised because if you know me very much at all, you know I would not go out and buy something like that premade. It didn't occur to me she'd think anything other than I'd made it just for her.)

I'm sorry your MIL was so unappreciative, Claudia! I know we should not be kind to others just in the hopes they will return the favour, but I would still consider toning down your response to her knitted creations in the future. Maybe that is ungraceful of me, but why should you put yourself out there when it is not expected?

Just had a thought; do you have a back stamp? "hand crafted by" or something like that? Not that this has helped anyone in my DH's family notice that I'd made their card, but at least when you've signed your name on the back it is a little more obvious.
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Old 08-14-2006, 09:45 AM   #26  
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Quote:

Originally Posted by ekip2
PS This reminded me of a conversation I had w/ my Mom. She always goes to the post office and picks out special postage stamps..like Happy Bday postage stamps for bday cards etc and couldn't believe that not one person noticed. After about a year of bday cards she decided it wasn't worth the extra trip/effort and went to generic stamps...similar lack of focus on the recipients part

hi andrea...
intresting thought.... i do the same thing. i go extra to the mail office and get the special stamps.

why was i actually still believing that people would notice???

i guess what actually really fustrated me was, that i was hoping she would appreciate it more. if i sent a handmade card to europe they dont say a word eigher. my own mom believes this is a way to save money yeah right! ask my hubby, he was in shock when he saw the other day my wickerbasket with the sets. he said: i thought you are into scrapbooks?

well... i do have 2 more tins at home i was planning to get ready for christmas gifts and a big stamp order is on my way.
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Old 08-14-2006, 09:47 AM   #27  
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mahloumel
The assumption that everyone goes out and buys things is very strong across generations in my experience. DH and I made a digicard for his grandfather's 80th and he asked me afterwards how we managed to find a card with a 1926 Model T coupe on it. He was very surprised to hear we made it specially for him. I made my MIL an acrylic postit note holder with pen and was very excitedly pointing out all the details I was so proud of, but she didn't realise I'd made it until DH later mentioned it.

(I was so surprised because if you know me very much at all, you know I would not go out and buy something like that premade. It didn't occur to me she'd think anything other than I'd made it just for her.)

I'm sorry your MIL was so unappreciative, Claudia! I know we should not be kind to others just in the hopes they will return the favour, but I would still consider toning down your response to her knitted creations in the future. Maybe that is ungraceful of me, but why should you put yourself out there when it is not expected?

Just had a thought; do you have a back stamp? "hand crafted by" or something like that? Not that this has helped anyone in my DH's family notice that I'd made their card, but at least when you've signed your name on the back it is a little more obvious.

ordered one last stamp camp !!! we say in german:
give them a hint with a tree (like with something REALLY big, so they cant avoid noticing!
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Old 08-14-2006, 09:47 AM   #28  
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I'm sorry this happened to you. I looked at your gallery and your cards are awesome. The lunch box tin was beautiful. I agree with the other ladies, people really do not understand the time and effort that goes into a home made gift. If I were you I would continue stamping and enjoying your craft.
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Old 08-14-2006, 10:12 AM   #29  
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I just checked out your gallery. I have one small suggestion for you, go to your MIL's house and get the tin back, send them to me!! No really, I also gave cards as gifts last year for Christmas. I had the same reaction and have been thinking about what to do this year. I decided the direct approach is going to be best. I'm going to flat out ask if they used the cards I gave them. I will mention that I really enjoy making them but would rather the cards go to someone who will put them to good use if they are not interested in using them. I figure if I take the direct approach, the worst they will probably do is tell me the cards weren't their style or something.
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Old 08-14-2006, 10:22 AM   #30  
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Well, I hope you don't let this experience stop you from continuing what you do very well. The tin you gave your mother in law is very nice as is the other creations in your gallery, I really enjoyed looking!
I had this experience when I made a stained glass kaleidoscope for my brother’s family. I was told I have too much time on my hands, I very politely said, “I guess you have to have an artist’s eye for color”. My younger brother took one look at it and wanted one. So some you please the others I wouldn’t fret over!
Your work is very nice Claudia so keep sharing with us!
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Old 08-14-2006, 10:54 AM   #31  
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I just looked at your gallery (again) and you make beautiful creations. Just keep doing what you love and don't fret about the rest.

P.S. I'll take whatever creations anyone wants to send to me - I don't know anyone that makes such great handmade creations.
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