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The original poster was describing me to a "T"....until she mentioned divorce. I'm so sorry for her! But I don't even have that going on in my life. I just simply have no mojo, no motivation, and like she said - struggle to come up with anything original.
I don't have an overabundance of supplies so that's definitely not an issue for me either! I have a small craft space and keep my stock of stamps down to two drawers, refuse to buy any more patterned papers (have two 12x12 stacks that I use from for the most part), etc. So I'm certainly not overwhelmed with choices when I sit down to create.
My mojo has been dwindling for a year though. I finished my last TAC hostess club a year ago, quit TAC, but promised my ladies I would still do classes for them. One year later, I still haven't. The mood has came and gone over this past year and I've still posted on my blog but it seems every card I make just takes soooo long because there's no mojo flowing. I try to force it. Sometimes I like the results, sometimes not. I like to make nicer cards with stitching, layers, coordinate the inside, etc. I've been wondering if I should try to make a stash of clean-and-simple cards for a break from my norm, but so far I just haven't had the true desire.
I even applied for a 3 month stint on a design team (love their stamps!) hoping that would get me excited about it again, but I didn't make it. I'm ok with that though, not meant to be and probably for the best right now.
I too have thought about packing everything up because it makes me feel guilty having my supplies out here in plain site unloved and unused. But then I think if I pack it away I'll NEVER use it again because it will be too much work to get it all out and organized. I also think that with Summer approaching quickly, I definitely will not want to sit in here stamping. Too many other fun things to do!
I don't mean to take away from the original post here. I was just SOOOO glad to see this thread because I'm definitely mojo-less right now and confused because I'm not so sure I miss it. :(
Certainly going to read back through all the replies here!
My stamping habit is on hold at the moment. Matter of fact I have had numerous "no time to stamp sessions" over the past 5 years and I do get very frustrated when I see a new product or stamp that I want to try but won't buy them because I haven't used the other items I purchased the time before when I didn't have time to stamp! I feel as though I am heading towards that "oh well I better get rid of all this stamping stuff because I don't have time to stamp" but I live in a small town and hobbies are not a priority. I do love to stamp and scrap but it seems as though when I'm away from it for long periods of time I loose more interest.
This is an interesting thread, and to the OP, for what it's worth, I agree about declutter the trendy stuff and pack away the favorites/expensive to replace stuff. It's okay to say "Not Now". It's okay to veg on the couch for a while. Maybe pick up some knitting or crochet needles or a camera as a change of tune. Revisit in a year. or two. Get yourself through this difficult time w/out guilt about this.
A year or so ago, I posted on my blog about how much STUFF is involved and how we spend so much energy on accumulating, storing, organizing it all and most of us acquire more than we can possibly use. And being innundated daily with beautiful creations, design teams, new products. Women (and men) who post a fantastic creation daily who seem to never run out of steam. It slowly drained my mojo and it's been gone for about a year now. Until Vicki posted, I was sure that was why so many of us lose our mojo (in addition to obvious life stresses & situations). Vicki says she doesn't have an overabundance, and she's lost hers? Aggh! There goes my theory!
So maybe it's just the nature of creativity- high & low tides, like with life. So that must mean NO GUILT and it could come back and if it doesn't in a couple years- then decide! Really, there is no rush. Why do we pressure ourselves?
To the OP - I truly am sorry for what you are going through. Please take everyone's advise and put it aside for a year or two. If you don't want it then sell your stamps, etc. I went through a divorce many years ago and had two small children when he walked out. My life was so busy with the kids then I probably could have used a hobby where you could just put your problems aside and stamp. I've only been doing this a couple of years and while I am not creative, I do get my ideas from all you wonderful creative people and still love the fact I can loose myself in stamping for several hours and have something to send to someone I care about.
This is an interesting thread, and to the OP, for what it's worth, I agree about declutter the trendy stuff and pack away the favorites/expensive to replace stuff. It's okay to say "Not Now". It's okay to veg on the couch for a while. Maybe pick up some knitting or crochet needles or a camera as a change of tune. Revisit in a year. or two. Get yourself through this difficult time w/out guilt about this.
A year or so ago, I posted on my blog about how much STUFF is involved and how we spend so much energy on accumulating, storing, organizing it all and most of us acquire more than we can possibly use. And being innundated daily with beautiful creations, design teams, new products. Women (and men) who post a fantastic creation daily who seem to never run out of steam. It slowly drained my mojo and it's been gone for about a year now. Until Vicki posted, I was sure that was why so many of us lose our mojo (in addition to obvious life stresses & situations). Vicki says she doesn't have an overabundance, and she's lost hers? Aggh! There goes my theory!
So maybe it's just the nature of creativity- high & low tides, like with life. So that must mean NO GUILT and it could come back and if it doesn't in a couple years- then decide! Really, there is no rush. Why do we pressure ourselves?
I'll let you keep your theory, Denise. ;) Leave it to me to be an odd ball, lol!
I like your last paragraph - there's no rush so why do we pressure ourselves. Why do we panic if we haven't stamped for a month or whatever. Good point! Although I'm still guilty. :( LOL
For the original poster - lots of big hugs to you!
I wish we were neighbors so I could give you a hug in person.
Let us know if there is anything we can do for you from afar.
I also want to add that I'm sending good thoughts your way,
I have been going through a little it of what your are going through...but for a different reason. I just lost my Mother a few weeks ago, and she was one of the reasons I started doing crafts in the first place, she seemed to like anything I made whether it was crocheted...sewn, card, etc. She was my biggest fan, I took care of her for a long time (cancer) so my crafting time was very limited...so now I am having trouble getting back into making cards again (something I really enjoy) I finally made two challenge cards this week, but they seemed to take me forever to make...My stuff is so unorganized so I sometimes wonder should I quit the whole thing? Especially now that the one I did most of my crafting for is gone...but it is something I enjoy doing...
I hope this thread has helped you figure out which direction to go...
__________________ Jill
My gallery
My blog
QFTD165
I definitely know the feeling of wanting to give up. It's okay to walk away for a while or forever - when it becomes something you feel guilty about, where's the fun? Our hobbies are for us, and creativity ebbs and flows, especially given this stressful time. It's okay.
Also, I have been through a divorce myself and my heart goes out to you. Just rest assured that you're doing the best that you can for you and for your kids. And know, that it does get better. Hang in there. You're in my prayers.
Bless you! I was not a stamper during my divorce, but I read a lot. I went over a year without reading a new book. Couldn't invest in something that I didn't know for sure how it was going to turn out. I didn't see new movies, either. But, I worked through it all, and will have to say that life on the other side is much, much better. Hang in there, and I would hang on to the basics...but would also sell/donate in an effort to clean out.
My husband passed away 4 years ago. I suffered greatly and at most times I couldn't enjoy the craft anymore. Other times-It was an escape for me. I would suggest packing the older stuff that you don't reach for currently and some of the other non essentials. See if not seeing all the stuff "helps" you create. Give yourself time to get used to the new home situation and think of all the possible great things in store for you. I am at a point now in life that things are going much better and I am able to enjoy my craft table my hubby built for me etc. Guess what...I am getting remarried in Oct! So life just keeps changing... I wish you lots of good things ahead!
Ahhhh kindred spirits! Sending you all giant hugs. I feel like quitting all the time, about once a month, LOL. Could be because I'm in the clinical depression, creating chaos, over-achieving group.
Crafting is quite basically my life, but sometimes it's all too much when "real" life is being especially difficult. I hope things are easier for you very soon. Divorce knocked the wind out of my sails for years longer than I realized it had...
(Slight tangent here: Medication certainly works for some people, but I found medication was not the solution for me & caused major weight gain. Sounds odd maybe, but if you do find your doctor/you thinks it's depression, maybe consider fish oil (krill oil is great, nicer than cod liver oil or fish oils--if you're vegetarian flax is great instead); lots of water, exercise, vitamin D & some sunshine everyday. (I sound like your Mom, sorry..."Eat your veggies Darling" hehehe) It was just such a struggle for me to pull out of my divorce depression (I'm still fighting to) so I thought I'd share what I wish I knew then.
The mojo always seems to come back eventually though. You have to go with your heart, of course, but I would suggest thinking it over before you let go of everything; I have to agree with Michelle & others... maybe store things somewhere if you need the space badly. That way you can decide later when there aren't so many things pressuring you. I know how you feel, though, and I'm sure you're not alone in wanting to quit it all some days. Hope you're feeling much much better soon!
P.s. sorry for the rant & thank you for being so honest and open! :o)
I felt that way when my Grandmother died. I just did not have it in me. I did not realize how depressed I was until I could not stamp. I kept plugging along though and boy am I glad I did not sell all my stuff!!!
Yeah, I thought of getting rid of everything as well when I moved two months ago. I packed it all up and then, looking at the empty shelves, thought maybe I should just get rid of it all and then I'd have more room. But I just didn't have the energy to sell it on ebay or craigslist and nowhere to store. So I moved it all and it all fits. I do have some stuff I weeded out and I haven't bought any new supplies in about six months. Mojo not there yet, but I'm hoping it will come back soon. I'm glad I kept it all.
OK declutter but don't give it all away!!!!!!!!! I am recently divorced too, and when i am alone and not knowing what to do I scrap!!!!!!!!!!! I say keep what is your favorite things you will put it back up soon. It is toooo expensive to start completely over.
Oh, I've felt this way a few times. SO MUCH STUFF.
If I did decided to really do it, I think I'd hang on to many of my stamp sets, probably a few favorite inks, SU cardstock, basic punches, and a stash of ribbon. There's a lot of embellishments and patterned paper that I could easily walk away from.
Maybe just box it up for a while and come back in 6 months and see if you missed it. Maybe you won't and you can sell it off and get a nice stash of cash from it!
If stamping was a really important activity to you, the mojo will return. Gardening is my other big passion in life and when I got divorced several years ago (pre-stamping), I couldn't do a thing in the yard for about a year - I just wasn't inspired or motivated. Julie is right - see a doctor. I finally did and medication helped me get through the worst of it. And then a year and a half after the divorce, my love of gardening came back and I've enjoyed it ever since. So, don't get rid of your stuff till you're sure you won't use it anymore. Life will get easier and better.
__________________ Susan
My SCS gallery is here should you care to look! Or please visit my blog, Cardmaker's Garret.
I just posted something similar and long in another thread.
You are going through a divorce, huge change in your life and lifestyle. You are also trying to mourn. My gosh no you don't feel like crafting, thinking or even dealing with anything.
You are really in that place right now your just finding the moments to breathe and go "I am going to be ok."
Box it up and get it out of your mind. When you come to that turn in your life when everything is clearer then you can decide if you want to paw through it or just get rid of it. You did it the right way and not the emotional way.
I teach decluttering. People come to me from all over the world to help them with decluttering. I will be the first to admit I am an emotional declutter. I can't even tell you the expensive horrible mistakes I made.
This has helped me teach my students not to do that. I still have trouble with it. DH was the one that said "Pack it away!" I did and I don't miss it and then again I have gotten things out again.
My divorce was finalized 4 months ago & my x moved out (of our marital home) 3 months ago. Yep, he stayed & was horrible the entire process & right in my face the entire time. Anyway, you can imagine how I couldn't be creative at all. My S-I-L told me to "do the first thing in front of you". Only do the one thing at a time & the rest will follow. You have been getting some great advice from everyone but, I don't expect you to follow anything other than your own heart. You do what you can to survive this period in your life. It is almost spring & the flowers are blooming & I am reminded everyday that the universe is much greater than my front door. Breathe slowly & deeply. Mojo is unstable & a great force when it is available to us. Take your time & you will get through all this mess before you know it. A great man told me,
"By this time next year, all of this won't matter." You'll see.
Take care
I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough time.
I know when I went through my divorce I lost all of my creative mojo for something like two years and when it came back finally it was in a different form, I don't do the crafts now that I did before that time period.
All that being said, please save your craft stuff. Everyone comes through rough patches like that in their own unique, individual way. You just might want it again some day. Now is not the time to decide to ditch all your stuff.
Great advice from all the ladies and I agree with pretty much all of it.
I suffer from clinical depression that has driven me almost to the point of suicide more than once. I've admitted myself to the psych ward, taken a month long mental health program at the hospital, and taken three different anti-depressants. The first two medications, while successful for many people, didn't work for me and had drastic side effects when coming off of them. I was terrified to try another drug so I went with one-on-one therapy with the local mental health nurse (which is free in my province) off and on for over three years. I got another consult with a different psychiatrist when the depression hit an extreme low, but was still too afraid to try another med. Over Christmas I hit my biggest low yet and nearly didn't make it out; I probably wouldn't have if people I know hadn't seen me struggling and stepped in to be supportive. I figured I couldn't get any lower by trying the new medication suggestion, but was worried because many people did not have success with that drug and nearly chickened out. I took the leap of faith in the end and was blown off my feet. I took those other meds for FIVE years and was depressed the entire time. Once I detoxed from them I had good and bad days but was still not quite normal and "crashed" on a regular basis, deeper every time. This "new" drug was supposed to start working in 1-2 weeks and I felt better the very next day. In a week, I was a whole new woman and INCREDIBLY happy. Once or twice I've had a bad day in the two months I've been on it. The first time it happened, I cried because I realized how bad I had really been for YEARS! I also panicked because I realized I could not go back to the way I was and was hugely relieved when I felt better again the next day.
Every person is different in that what works for one, does not always work for everyone, so I strongly urge you to explore your options. Many people go to therapy or support groups for reassurance that they are not crazy or they are not the only ones that are dealing with the same issues. Try some group or individual therapy; there are many options available that are low cost or free. Talk to a women's shelter or help center to get pointed in the right direction. Talk to your doctor, if for no other reason than to have him/her know how you are doing so they can keep an eye on you or suggest some options. I tried several different methods before I was finally correctly diagnosed as suffering from chronic clinical depression. Most thought I was suffering from PMS even after I showed them a daily charting of my emotions and was told that you can suffer from PMS pretty much every day that you don't have your period. If you don't think you agree with an opinion, get a second one or a third or however many it takes to get the help you need. Different medications work differently on everyone. If you do decide to try one and are not seeing improvement, ask to try something else. Sometimes you have to be proactive which is really hard to do if you are depressed. If you don't feel comfortable with some of these ideas, consider something that gets you out of the house and doing something fun or positive: volunteering, going a book club, season tickets to the theatre, anything that gets you out being social that makes you happy for a few hours and helps you to forget all the stressful stuff.
During the toughest times, I used similar variations of one theme "one step/day at a time". At night, when I was crawling in bed and tempted to slit my wrist and bleed out into a garbage can I would say to myself "just go to bed now and you can always do that tomorrow". (How sad that my life has come to that more times than I care to count.) Flylady, a organization/cleaning support woman I found on the internet, has a favourite saying, "You can do anything for 15 minutes." She has awesome advice starting from helping you to get out of bed to face the day to breaking things down into manageable bits. She teaches you to slowly get your life back together in a way that is manageable and sustainable. She even tells you that if you can't do 15 minutes, do 5 or 10 and then give yourself permission to stop. She is an incredible woman who's survived an abusive relationship, divorce, and I think depression, and has learned how to love herself. It's been years since I followed her online, but I still keep my zone reminders in my Outlook calendar to remind me that she and her system are there for me if I ever need them.
Exercise is a great mood stabilizer and actually causes a chemical response in your body that's an additional bonus besides better physical fitness and possible weight loss.
Eat healthy. While healthy food choices are always a good thing, what I really mean is eat actual meals. Don't skip them because you can't be bothered to take care of yourself.
Try to keep up on chores etc so you don't become overwhelmed, but also make sure you take some time for yourself. If it can't be cardmaking or scrapping right now, then something else: do a crossword, take a bath, read a book or magazine, keep up on SCS threads. Whatever it is, make sure it makes you happy, not guilty or stressed.
Remember the important things like you family, your health, etc. Ask yourself if this (whatever is upsetting you) will matter in another hour, day, week, year. My therapist, the mental health nurse, says "is this the hill you want to die on?"
Obviously, I have some pretty strong feelings based on my vast experience with turmoil in my life to go on so. There is still so much more I wish I could say, but I've gone on long enough. I really hope that you can find something from what I or others have said that will help you through this ordeal and make it easier. Time eventually heals, but it doesn't hurt to do what you can to shorten the process. Best wishes to you and your family.
Thanks everyone. I feel much less alone now! I know very few people who have gone through this. My parents were married forever. All of my siblings have been married forever. They all support my decision because they know it's the right decision. But they can't relate. And I think sometimes people think if you are the initiator then you don't have the same feelings (or at least similar feelings) as the 'dumped' person. For now I try to take it one day at a time. I am trying to make sure I build in time with friends. And I am trying to declutter to take control of my life a little. I've also upped my counseling from 1 time a month to 2 times a month just to make sure I stay on top of it a little more. I just wish some of my family lived closer because sometimes I feel awful alone.
WOW. Is the best I can say. I never realized before how much the same we all are, in different states, countries, backgrounds and life curcumstances. I share many of the same stories - not divorce, but severe depression and loss of loved ones, suicidal thoughts and actions. I didn't know that "Sisters Under the Skin" is more that just something peole say that sounds cute. It's really true. And the best and only support we have is each other.
My psychiatrist is a man; I need him because of his knowledge of the brain and chemistry. As a person I can barely tolerate him. But I don't have to - I can use him for what I need - knowledge about medications - and find all other forms of support from women friends, my sister, my (female, of course) counselor and all of you. This has been a really emotional journey for me - hearing all of your life experiences, and learning that we are really all we have, and we are here for each other. None of us are really alone, and I never knew that before. It has always seemed like I am the only one... and I dare not reach out because it would be so odd. I sincerely thank all of you for that knowledge!! Heartfelt hugs and love for all... THANKS
SQ
I am grateful I have family, I actually moved back in with my parents just after my 39th birthday. My husband was a verbally abusive drunk and I was terrified of him near the end. I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't taken me back in. The arrangement works well for us, so I have no plans to move out (and I don't make enough to support myself solo anyway).
It is difficult sometimes since they can't relate to depression. My mom thinks you just need to give yourself a kick in the butt and get over it and that everyone feels blue sometimes. Even if she doesn't really understand, I know she loves me and, in the end, that's what counts.
We have good long distance plans that we used a lot when I lived a province away. We'd talk for hours during the "free" time. If you are chatty like we are, perhaps you could look into something similar, so they don't feel so far away.
Best wishes to you.
SQ - almost every human shares the same basic needs and desires. We all want a roof over our head, some basic comforts, people to care about who care about us, and if we have children, we want better for them. Our circumstances are not identical, but often there are many similarities, sometimes eerily so. It helps to know you are not the only one to have faced something similar.
I'm glad to hear that you are getting the help and support you need. Best wishes to you too.
If this thread has shown us anything it's that.......We are not alone!!! Someone, somewhere is feeling those same feelings we are, and we will get through it...oddly enough...together!!! We've had the courage to share our stories, and there is "hope"....
I have sick family members I take care of so my stamping time is very limited. I do have everything set up in one of our bedrooms but when you work 40 hours a week, cook, laundry,grocery shopping, taking care of an old much loved dog, I don't have much time to sit and enjoy making a card or scrap page. I realize my husband and daughter can't help their health issues (both are insulin dependent - him 45 yrs., daughter 16 years - because of their health issues but it does take a tole on a care giver. I took care of my mother and after she died, when I would sit down to create something, I would start to shake and felt so guilty that she was gone. We took care of my husband's 80 year old cousin for 2 years (out of town) and I did most of his cleaning and guiding my husband on settling his estate. He just didn't want to take the time to do it and do things and I had to keep after him every day to get paperwork completed for the attorney and so on. Our daughter is currently staying with us due to her having major back surgery. Our plan was she would be well enough to go back to her house in 3 weeks but her surgery was extensive so now she will be staying through our kitchen renovation!!!! Hopefully after the kitchen is completed, our daughter is well enough to go to her house I can sneek in "her" bedroom and stamp.After these "down time" episodes I feel so stale that my brain can't get into gear to design a card. I use to get on SCS website every night and look at the newly posted cards but I don't even have time for that at the moment, maybe once a week. This link caught my eye the other day and thought it would be interesting to see how other stampers/scrappers handle this dilemna. Don't get me wrong, I love my family more than anything and would go to the the end of the earth for them but care givers get the bum wrap and it does effect your own health and attitude. How does the saying go "all work and no play makes Sally depressed."
Some communities have respite care workers. Our niece works for an agency that provides in-home care to elderly and persons with disabilities. I believe they are located in most states and many countries as well, so you might check into that. You REALLY need some respite care - even for an hour a day, once a week! I think you'd have to leave the house, though, cause otherwise you'd feel guilty and end up "helping" the caregiver. Sometimes I've thought of taking some stamping stuff and going to the food court at the mall. There would always be some really important something you left at home, but you could manage, if you see what I mean. Or, you could do anything that appeals to you at that particular moment. But respite care is absolutely CRITICAL!!! and I mean ESSENTIAL for you to continue being an effective caregiver.
My Mom had dementia, and I am a member of the Alzheimer's Assn. in our city. If they can't provide you with direct care, they can certainly tell you who to call to get in touch with someone. (I realize you are not caring for a person with dementia at this time, but as we've all come to realize here, that's not really the important thing, so much. Send me a PM, or, if it's allowed, I'll tell you in this forum the Company my niece works for. I don't want it to seem like I'm giving free advertising, so I don't just want to put it online.
But you HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO get some help. If you don't, there is a very good chance you will become ill yourself, and then what? I'm very serious - it is IMPERATIVE!!!. Counseling and support groups are great, but somehow you HAVE TO get some respite care for yourself. So keep in touch, PLEASE!!
sq
OMG!! I can totally relate to this part of your comment. It made me chuckle! I was. . note "was". . . into exercising. . .really into it and for some reason, my creative mojo went on a vacation. . .I think there's a correlation between being sedentary and lots of creative mojo.
For about a month, I stopped exercising and my creative mojo is in full swing. . big time. I'm afraid to start exercising again because I'm worried my creative mojo will go MIA. . .
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joan B
Now I do know 2 former stampers who walked away -- literally -- from stamping. In both cases they told me that they left stamping and took up exercise in a serious way and lost and kept off significant amounts of weight. They are quite happy.
Well, I WISH my exercise increased with the loss of my mojo...but nope! ;-P I have been trying to go for walks more. I've started taking vitamins. I'm trying to do activities with friends. Etc.
troopersma - Sounds great! You don't need to worry about your "mojo" right now; it's so much more important to spend time with your friends, doing things that you like and want to do right now. The rest will come with time. Or not. Either way, IT'S OKAY!!!
I hope you don't give up on stamping for good. I've never been divorced, so maybe this advice is hopelessly out-of-touch with your situation. I did stop stamping for several years, mainly due to the expense, lack of time, and no local store for supplies. Kept all my stuff--what little there was.
A few years ago, I started stamping again, and was so glad that I hadn't chucked everything. Although I'm embarrassed that the dining room table is currently covered with stamping supplies, I do enjoy this hobby again. I started trading ATCs with a church friend last year, take pride in creating handmade cards for family and friends, and have even taken the huge step of submitting to a magazine. (Prolly won't be published, but that was a major step for me.)
I've had a lot of changes in my life the last few years, some of them not so good, but stamping has helped build my confidence as well as being an enjoyable hobby. One of the last things I gave to my dad in the last year of his life was a handmade card that he loved. If I'd chucked everything several years ago, I wouldn't have that wonderful memory now.
There are days when I can't seem to get anything done at work, can't write to save my life, and can't seem to do anything right. But even on those days, I know I can make a card or an ATC or just play around with ink, paper and stamps.
As others have said, please just pack things away and wait. It may be a few years, but you may find renewed joy in stamping again.
I too have been through all of this (divorce, depression etc.). I was the first one in my family to have been divorced. My parents had been married for over 40 years, both sets of grandparents had been married over 50 years. I lived over 300 miles away from family.
In the middle of all this I found a bookmark that had a little poem that helped. The key phrase for me was " I will live my life only for the next 2 hours at a time..." Some days I shortened that to the next 20 minutes and some days it was just the next 5 minutes.
Eventually you will get through this. Keep an eye on your successes, small or large. They will help to fill that reserve of energy that you expended just trying to survive him.
Hugs and keep us updated! You are not alone and you do matter to people whom you have never met!!
I joined a gym last week and have been going whenever I feel down or angry or frustrated. At this rate I should be a stick! LOL.
I wish I knew someone here who would help me declutter and reorganize the house. It just all feels so overwhelming. But I keep attacking it a little at a time. At some point if I declutter enough I'm hoping it'll start looking cleaner.
I did find out last night that my oldest brother (10 years older) might be moving closer to me in the next month or so. He'd still be an hour away but it's closer then the two hours away now.
I bought stuff at Joann's because I wanted to try some cute boxes I saw for Easter. Umm...the stuff is still sitting in the bag. It's the thought that counts...right??? ;-P
I joined a gym last week and have been going whenever I feel down or angry or frustrated. At this rate I should be a stick! LOL.
I wish I knew someone here who would help me declutter and reorganize the house. It just all feels so overwhelming. But I keep attacking it a little at a time. At some point if I declutter enough I'm hoping it'll start looking cleaner.
I did find out last night that my oldest brother (10 years older) might be moving closer to me in the next month or so. He'd still be an hour away but it's closer then the two hours away now.
I bought stuff at Joann's because I wanted to try some cute boxes I saw for Easter. Umm...the stuff is still sitting in the bag. It's the thought that counts...right??? ;-P
Thanks everyone, for your continued support.
Congrats on joining a gym. Exercise is a key factor for physical and mental health.
For the decluttering assistance, go to http://flylady.com/. There is a getting started link and I would start there, then look up some of her fabulous advice on decluttering. It's been a loooong time since I've followed her, so it may have changed a bit, but I am confident she can help get you started and best of all, she's free! Best wishes.
Wow, and here's another hug! For all of us!!!
Been there too, with divorce, depression, life change, and losing the ability to create (though for me it's time not ability, as my new husband is a European Catholic and I'm about to have our 3rd baby and I met him less than 5 years ago, hahah!! OMG!!!)....there is a lot of wonderful ladies on here with a lot in common!
I'm so glad Mel and another poster mentioned that drugs (pardon me, "meds", lol, I used to tease my medical folks) may not be the answer or not the whole answer. I have been on them, and they saved my life - *IN COMBINATION* with talk therapy. You need to talk to someone who is trained to listen and help; also someone who knows the med and what they can do/cannot do, adjust your dosage or med, help you understand how the med is affecting you. I totally am against meds only without a professional to refer to and talk things through with. We lost my little brother that way (Suicide), it happens a lot. Anwyay, what i meant to say, was there is so much good advice already written, and you are hearing a lot of sisters here!! you are NOT alone!!
I want to holler out a "Ditto" on :
living one day or one minute at a time, declutter by small bits(you CAN eat an elephant, ONE BITE at a time!), keep some stamps but pack up most to make it look clean, GO OUTSIDE (even if you just sit in the sunshine on your porch..you are getting Vitamin D which is vital for many things), eat right, get whatever exercise you can, even if that's going around WalMart an extra time on your grocery run ;) (as long as you don't put more stuff in your cart) or dancing during commercials...and you do need to grieve your old life/marriage/home whatever has changed. Don't leave that out.
I went through every stress possible just about in one year, and lived; you can do it too!! YOU WILL MAKE IT. I went from a SAHW (no kids in a 12 year marriage--"kids would cut into my computer gaming and sleeping time too much" he said!) to working full time with OJT after hours; losing most of my friends, support, and community (was military wife); had lies and curses spread about me; living on 40% $$ in the same home (IMPOSSIBLE, don't even try it); losing my home; moving twice; getting separated, divorced, high-risk pregnancy, remarried; there's more, basically, you name it. Anyway, I'm not saying "who's got it worse" AT ALL-- divorce and any major life change stinks and creates all kinds of stress on you. Just saying I'm another sister on SCS who can relate!
I went from a SU! demo/manager with a succesful two state biz and on stage at convention, all that to the point where I had to quit and haven't stamped much since (see the kids note at top! lol!)...but I kept my stuff. Finally sold some last year!
The advice to cull and pack up the remainder is very good. I would keep a little out if I were you, maybe limit yourself to one desk-full or bookshelf just so it's close when you do want to do it. I finally got to join a local stampers group that meets once a month, and that's an amazing blessing. Those ladies are wonderful, funny, supportive friends; and that need to stamp swaps for our meeting, even if it's the only stamping I do all month, is fabulous.
You may or may not be a religious person, but this trial helped me get closer to God again too. Try church for a lift as well as any other community space that interests you (library, scouts, pet shelter, etc.)
The one thing I wanted to mention with "getting your mojo back" that I have not seen advised is limiting yourself/taking a challenge. I was an artist off and on & an art major in college and one thing that we resist but really makes you improve is a challenge/limit. So keep out just your bright inks or vintage themed stuff and make yourself use just that. Join a stamping challenge of some sort, like a sketch or color throwdown, and use the limit to get your mojo back. There's a lot out there in blogs and right here at SCS! It might seem hard at first but it really works to make the creative muse appear!
HTH!!
I knew I was feeling better and getting over my divorce (it does take a long time, years) when I realized I had chosen an Asian stamp. I could not even look at anything Asian for a couple years, at first it would even give me anxiety attacks (~my ex was/is Korean). It all comes in time.
Be nice to yourself you deserve it.
HTH and big hugs to you and all the other posters!!!
Holly
The exercise and going outside is great, however if you are super depressed where a *good* day is one you get off the couch and brush your teeth (I've been there!) you might need some help just to do anything. I had someone honestly physically pull me out the door once, and although I was sobbing, it was a really important step and made me feel much better.
I have done flylady off and on. I think I FINALLY have the cleaning the sink down. LOL. Last night a neighbor stopped by (hardly ever happens) and I hated the way the house looked. So today I spent most the day cleaning and folding laundry. At least the front two rooms are company presentable now. I'll work on the rest of it.
To Bubamara, I'm doing ok. I do see a counselor every 2 weeks. We've decided not to do any meds. As long as I can keep picking myself up she feels it is situational and not true depression. And she knows how I hate taking anything. And I've learned lots of skills over the years to pick myself back up by my bootstraps. I'll do fine. It's just tedious when you want to return to some degree of 'normal' but you can't because of things like your attorney dropping the ball, etc.
Tomorrow I am going to a quilting get together and then a general crafting one after that. I will probably take something stamping related to work on.
I am the type of person who needs to concentrate on "one" thing at a time.
When I enjoy a hobby I go into it full force . After a few years I lose interest in it, but I learned NOT to get rid of the supplies and equipment . In a few years I will get the bug to do it again . I know me. If I dispose of my supplies and equipment I would need to buy them again! Hobby supplies are expensive enough without buying everything twice LOL
I did beading at least 12 years ago. Last night I took my beading stuff out of the closet and started a project.
If you are the type who loses interest in things , but goes back to them at a later date don't get rid of you stamping stuff. You will live to regret it.
if any of you keep a blog and would like to have some supportive comments and encouragement, consider joining my new blog group... no pressure just in case anyone is interested.. i know getting feedback is helpful for me!
Pack it up for a while and when you're ready to get it back out, you'll know. I went through my divorce in '99 with kids that age. You have to take care of yourself and your kids and not sweat little things. You are tempted to clear everything from your life right now. For me, my creative side needed to get my scrap stuff back out.
