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Old 05-29-2007, 08:44 PM   #41  
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Originally Posted by blueheronView Post
Here's a thought--maybe the recipient hardly ever receives a gift or nice gesture from anyone (how sad that would be) and wouldn't have much opportunity to USE the thank you cards you gave her. She may have been thrilled at the idea of putting one of your cards to good use. Not everyone has people who do nice things for them. How kind of you to do such a nice thing.
That is so sad, but is probably too often true.
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Old 05-29-2007, 10:26 PM   #42  
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I made a set of Thank you cards for each my niece and nephew. They are horrible at not sending thank you cards so I thought this would be a great way to teach them and make it easy for them. I didn't get a thank you card OR a phone call or email that they received them.
Phlpsfamily: I'm just curious - how old are your niece and nephew? I'd been sending mine some cute things and cash for years ... and never, not once, got a thank you. The were b/t the ages of 8-13, I suppose ... so they know how to write ... but I think a HUGE part of that is the parents, you know? It's upbringing and training ... and bugging! I'm tempted to say something to the effect of, "you know, people are more likely to keep sending you treats/gifts/cards if you actually thank them once ina while."
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Old 05-29-2007, 10:35 PM   #43  
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I'd hate it more I think if I made a beautiful set of cards for someone and they went out and bought a Thank You card to send to me.
SharonK
I made a gorgeous ensemble for a friend's wedding. It included: An altered tin wedding journal, handmade guest book, wedding card, place cards, and about 30 Thank You cards ... all 2-step stamped, with glitter applied in each flower, and ribbons, and matching envelopes ... in a PAINT CAN!!! I wanted her to have so many TY cards, I didn't even keep one for myself, and I got a pretty generic thank you back. I'm sorry - I flew myself and 3 kids out, bought the bridesmaids dress, got the hair and makeup, got my daughter all dudded up for the flower girl spot, did ALL this work for hand-made gifts ... NEVER got a pic back with me or my daughter in it ... and a generic Thank You. Worst of all, she dropped me as a friend after the wedding ... won't return my calls or cards. Sorry, I digress.

In this instance, I would have liked one of mine back ... but it's good form that she sent me a card after all, right?!
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Old 05-30-2007, 03:01 AM   #44  
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me too i made this Baby set
http:////www.splitcoaststampers.com/...0&ppuser=77224
paint can filled with baby essentials (little formula can, new pacifiers, etc)
15 thank you notes
13 birth announcements
1 matching baby squash book

and NO THANK you at all. iam still so pissed! my husband said the other day we should invite them over for bbq. i have no intrest what so ever put an nother hour work to prepare food or anything for this family.
OH MY GOODNESS, Claudia! That's horrible! You put so much love into your projects! How incredibly rude and I don't blame you at all!
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Old 05-30-2007, 03:17 AM   #45  
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Originally Posted by laureljeanneView Post
I made a gorgeous ensemble for a friend's wedding. It included: An altered tin wedding journal, handmade guest book, wedding card, place cards, and about 30 Thank You cards ... all 2-step stamped, with glitter applied in each flower, and ribbons, and matching envelopes ... in a PAINT CAN!!! I wanted her to have so many TY cards, I didn't even keep one for myself, and I got a pretty generic thank you back. I'm sorry - I flew myself and 3 kids out, bought the bridesmaids dress, got the hair and makeup, got my daughter all dudded up for the flower girl spot, did ALL this work for hand-made gifts ... NEVER got a pic back with me or my daughter in it ... and a generic Thank You. Worst of all, she dropped me as a friend after the wedding ... won't return my calls or cards. Sorry, I digress.

In this instance, I would have liked one of mine back ... but it's good form that she sent me a card after all, right?!

Okay, my similar happening was before I started paper crafting and the wedding was local, so I didn't have as much into it as you did, but I gave a huge wedding shower! What is up with the dropping friends after a wedding? And I wasn't the only one--another bridesmaid was dropped in this wedding, too. I actually got the bride to meet me for lunch with the wedding pics, but she forgot the name of the photographer (and oddly, it wasn't in the little proof album she had), so she was going to call me with his name. I left three messages on her machine reminding her about it. Nothing.

A few months later, I ran into another bridesmaid, who said the same thing happened to her--no calls, no answered messages, no pictures, nothing. She figured we were just in the wedding to make the wedding party bigger. Not sure about that, but it was totally weird!
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Old 05-30-2007, 03:17 AM   #46  
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Originally Posted by ClaudiafromGermanyView Post
me too i made this Baby set
http:////www.splitcoaststampers.com/...0&ppuser=77224
paint can filled with baby essentials (little formula can, new pacifiers, etc)
15 thank you notes
13 birth announcements
1 matching baby squash book

and NO THANK you at all. iam still so pissed! my husband said the other day we should invite them over for bbq. i have no intrest what so ever put an nother hour work to prepare food or anything for this family.

Ya know, I think there are just some people that were never taught how to send thank you notes by their parents. (and btw, Claudia, I have a package on my desk waiting to go out to you. )

My mother was VERY insistent, as we grew up, that we wrote thank you notes to anyone that gave us a gift. She drilled the importance of that into us, just like she drilled the importance of an RSVP (no matter WHAT it's for) into us.

It used to REALLY irk me when people didn't send thank you notes or RSVP, but the more time goes on, I'm realizing that the social art of thank you notes and RSVPs is dying out. People just aren't teaching this to their children any more. Those children will grow up and not teach their children either.

About 6 or so years back, a friend got married. I bought a beautiful candle holder for her (since it was something she really wanted). I never got a thank you note. A year later, that same girl had a baby and another friend got married. My mom, sister and I went in on the baby gift and bought her a $150 gift. I also made a HUGE $75 dinner basket for the other friend. 8 months went by. Nothing. From either one of them. That was also the same year that I made that box of 25 thank you cards for the OTHER friend that got married.

It really bothered me.

So, I went online and found some really good sites on how to write thank you notes, the etiquette behind them, etc. The sites weren't abrasive, but informational. I printed them out, put them in a few envelopes, addressed them (but left off my return address) and popped them in the mail. The friend that got married that year hand delivered thank you notes to my mom, my sister and I.

The one that got the wedding gift and the big baby gift? Nothing.

The one that I made the huge box of thank you notes for? Nothing.

I figured that perhaps their parents didn't teach them to send thank you notes, but after getting a prompt like the one I sent them and not doing anything about it? I figured they were pretty dense not to get the hint.

These days, it doesn't get my blood boiling as much as it used to, but it still bothers me. Even without having your parents teach you, it's just common sense. (then again, perhaps their parents didn't teach them common sense then, and therefore, the parents should be slapped, too! )
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Old 05-30-2007, 03:20 AM   #47  
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Originally Posted by ClaudiafromGermanyView Post
me too i made this Baby set
http:////www.splitcoaststampers.com/...0&ppuser=77224
paint can filled with baby essentials (little formula can, new pacifiers, etc)
15 thank you notes
13 birth announcements
1 matching baby squash book

and NO THANK you at all. iam still so pissed! my husband said the other day we should invite them over for bbq. i have no intrest what so ever put an nother hour work to prepare food or anything for this family.
What a gorgeous set Claudia
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Old 05-30-2007, 03:53 AM   #48  
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Okay, my similar happening was before I started paper crafting and the wedding was local, so I didn't have as much into it as you did, but I gave a huge wedding shower! What is up with the dropping friends after a wedding? And I wasn't the only one--another bridesmaid was dropped in this wedding, too. I actually got the bride to meet me for lunch with the wedding pics, but she forgot the name of the photographer (and oddly, it wasn't in the little proof album she had), so she was going to call me with his name. I left three messages on her machine reminding her about it. Nothing.

A few months later, I ran into another bridesmaid, who said the same thing happened to her--no calls, no answered messages, no pictures, nothing. She figured we were just in the wedding to make the wedding party bigger. Not sure about that, but it was totally weird!
OH MY GOODNESS.....I could have written both of these!

I used my free tickets to fly my husband and myself out west, took time off of work, brought catering equipment with me as luggage, brought camping gear with me as the hubby and I were told that we'd have to camp out in the yard, held the bridal shower when we got there, had our luggage lost, catered the entire freakin' wedding, decorated the cake and was then dropped after the wedding, as well.

Only to find out from someone else that I was being used all along. (I was told that the bride thought I wasn't spiritual enough and a sinner, but I was willing to do the catering without getting paid, "as a friend," so she intended to get me there, do the job and then drop me.) I did get a group picture, but no thank you note.

One of the other girls at the wedding sent me CDs of all the pictures taken of the time we all spent there, as well as a video of girly-ness.

I've since burnt the picture, used the CDs as stamping projects and taped episodes of The Amazing Race over the video.
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Old 05-30-2007, 04:03 AM   #49  
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Originally Posted by blueheronView Post
Here's a thought--maybe the recipient hardly ever receives a gift or nice gesture from anyone (how sad that would be) and wouldn't have much opportunity to USE the thank you cards you gave her. She may have been thrilled at the idea of putting one of your cards to good use. Not everyone has people who do nice things for them. How kind of you to do such a nice thing.
In this case, the recipient is the Pre-K director at my son's school, so I think she has ample opportunity to send thank you notes, which is why I made those for her.

All I'm saying is I would prefer no note at all -- I'd rather have a verbal thank you when I handed her the gift (which she did, too, but she sends out notes as well.) I don't think for one second that she did anything "wrong" or upsetting to me by sending me one. I just think it's kind of funny to get one of your own cards back.
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Old 05-30-2007, 04:08 AM   #50  
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I'm with those who think it must be a dilemma for the recipient...to send or not to send? Here's a story for you - a couple years ago, I made some cards for my niece as part of her birthday gift. Just recently - two years later, mind you - we got one of them from her mom as the family's thank you note for the Christmas gifts we gave them. If a couple years have passed, and there's still one of the original 5 or 6 cards sitting around, I'm thinkin' they didn't like the cards well enough to send them out to other people!!
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Old 05-30-2007, 04:32 AM   #51  
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She probably thought that sending you a card was showing you that she liked them and was using them.
My thoughts exactly... Honestly, I'd be more ticked if she sent me a thank you for the cards that was STORE BOUGHT after I made them for her!
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Old 05-30-2007, 04:40 AM   #52  
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hello michelle,
i thought about this too.
the present was for her 3 child the baby was not born at the time.
i know how busy things can be have two little children myself.
however... iam upset - i can not describe it any different. i gave it to her close to christmas- was swinging quick by her house and gave it to her personally. she wouldnt even open the gift bag and peecked inside and said thanks a the door.



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Claudia, what a beautiful set! You put so much time and love into it. I am sure your friend loved it. You know her better than us, but maybe she is having a hard time adjusting with the new baby? After I had my second baby, it took me MONTHS to get out any thank yous of any kind. I had so much trouble with nursing, sleeping, post partum issues, etc. I never even sent out an announcement for him (gasp!). It seriously took me forever to get on the path of any kind of normalcy! Or maybe she has *new mom* head and thought she already thanked you!
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Old 05-30-2007, 04:41 AM   #53  
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What a gorgeous set Claudia


thanks girls
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Old 05-30-2007, 05:15 AM   #54  
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I'm thinking about how many times I've really put my heart into creating something for someone else and how a handful of those times, I was totally... underwhelmed by the response I received from this gift/labor of love. It took me a while to finally realize that for me, the joy needed to come from the act of creating itself, and not be burdened by the expectation that it would be as appreciated as I felt it should be. It's a little like raising children -- if you expect your kids to be routinely grateful for all that you do for them, you will find yourself frustrated a good deal of the time! Now, if someone is truly appreciative of what I've made, then that's simply the cherry on top -- it's great, don't get me wrong, but I've already let go of that project and moved on to my next one by that time. This has saved me a lot of consternation. The energy that I used to spend wondering what was wrong with that person is now put into something more useful.

I hope this doesn't sound preach-y, or come as unwanted advice -- it's just something this thread has caused me to think about and help me articulate for myself.

HTH someone!
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