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Old 05-06-2007, 05:48 PM   #1
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Default mother's day!!!

Does your husband buy you a Mother's Day gift? The first year that I was a mom, my DH didn't buy me a thing. (DS is 4) When he found me crying, his justification was that I wasn't his mother. Since then, he does something small (out to dinner--but we eat out a lot!!!). I usually end up getting my feelings hurt because I want him to do something special. How about you? Does your dh have the same theory mine does, or does he go all out?
Just curious....
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Old 05-06-2007, 05:50 PM   #2
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I have certainly found that Mother's day gets better when the kids get older. I should not be surprised as my husband did not buy for his mum when she was alive so why would he buy for me? We definitely make a bigger deal over Father's Day.
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Old 05-06-2007, 07:36 PM   #3
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My ex-husband also used the "but you're not my mother" line.

Technically true. But I would arrange to have the kids do something special for him on Father's Day, so it kinda hurt that he didn't do anything. So I know how you feel.
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Old 05-06-2007, 08:25 PM   #4
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I have been spoiled (mama taught him well!). For my first Mother's Day I recieved a ring with DS1 birthstones. Then something small the next year. Then after DS2 I got another ring with his birthstones too. And last year again something small but nice. This year I am recieving the other half of my digital camera (It was a huge gift I had to split between Valentines & Mother's Day). Good thing too - I'm running out of fingers!
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Old 05-06-2007, 09:17 PM   #5
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My DH would buy me something or do something to make me feel special but I've asked him not to bother. He treats me so well during the year, I don't need a day that says I'm special.
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Old 05-06-2007, 09:40 PM   #6
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This is my first year as a mom - - - so we'll see how my hubby compares!!! He is usually EXTREMELY thoughtful and romantic - - - so I think he'll do something incredible sappy and sentimental
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Old 05-06-2007, 11:26 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stampin'hokie
Does your husband buy you a Mother's Day gift? The first year that I was a mom, my DH didn't buy me a thing. (DS is 4) When he found me crying, his justification was that I wasn't his mother. Since then, he does something small (out to dinner--but we eat out a lot!!!). I usually end up getting my feelings hurt because I want him to do something special. How about you? Does your dh have the same theory mine does, or does he go all out?
Just curious....
I generally ask for the day off...get to go where I want and do what I want. And I'll probably buy myself an outfit.

You might not be your DH's mother, but you are the mother of his child and since his child is too young to go out and do something on his own, it is your DH's responsibility to help him. All part of parenthood.
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Old 05-07-2007, 04:13 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srogers5
You might not be your DH's mother, but you are the mother of his child and since his child is too young to go out and do something on his own, it is your DH's responsibility to help him. All part of parenthood.
I'm with Sharon on this one! While his mother was alive, I took the back seat, but it was a "nice" back seat. He ALWAYS made sure he took the kids to get cards and pick out something small. We usually would go out to eat also. He's like that for my birthday & Valentines Day also.

This year, I showed him a diamond necklace I wanted. I'm not into jewelry usually, so he was determined to get that for me. I also told him I'd rather NOT go out to eat, but grill some nice steaks, have CotC and baked potatoes.

For Father's Day, we do similar and he picks what he wants to do--usually a nice long nap
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Old 05-07-2007, 04:24 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stampin'hokie
Does your husband buy you a Mother's Day gift? The first year that I was a mom, my DH didn't buy me a thing. (DS is 4) When he found me crying, his justification was that I wasn't his mother. Since then, he does something small (out to dinner--but we eat out a lot!!!). I usually end up getting my feelings hurt because I want him to do something special. How about you? Does your dh have the same theory mine does, or does he go all out?
Just curious....
The first year or so my dh had the same attitude but he's changed his tune over the years. My dh learns best by my "reciprocating" his behavior, kwim? The past few years he's been pretty awesome. He'll cook something on the grill and give me some sort of gift (and flowers). It's never anything too overboard but he also surprises me throughout the year on other non-occasions so I don't expect a lot either. My favorite gift is usually un-interrupted "me" time.
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Old 05-07-2007, 05:55 AM   #10
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My DH usually buys me a rather nice gift for Mother's Day. I end up having to buy his mother her Mother's Day gift, though...
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Old 05-07-2007, 01:24 PM   #11
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I told DH today that I had seen some really pretty baking dishes at Sam's that I wanted for Mother's Day. He startes complaining about not having the space to put them, so I don't think I will be getting those. It would be like him to get me something that he wants as well as something that I "might" like. Maybe he will let my DD pick it out.

It better be good this year since I am preggers with #2!!!
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Old 05-07-2007, 01:29 PM   #12
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My DH asked what I wanted for Mother's Day. I told him not to get me anything. There's nothing I want or need and I'm on bedrest so I can't go anywhere. What I really want him to do is take the kids to the pool for the day and so the things with them that I would do, if I could leave the house. Then I'd like him to get some Chili's Carside To Go for dinner, since it's my favorite place!

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Old 05-07-2007, 09:14 PM   #13
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My dh always made sure to have flowers or dinner or something for Mother's Day until last year when he asked if it was ok not to since I wasn't his mother.... and ds is in college. I think it kind of hurt my feelings since I felt like I was the most important Mother inthe family. Both of ours are gone. But I know that DS has something planned this year for Mother's Day since we will be down to see him for graduation the day before. So I guess we will see. I always make sure to have dinner and a card if nothing else for Father's day- sometimes DS and I go together to get him somehting he wants. My thought is that he will always be the father of my favorite (and only) child and for that I will always be grateful.
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Old 05-07-2007, 10:28 PM   #14
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He'd better get me something if he knows what side his bread is buttered on!

Actually, he does pretty well. And May is a bad month for him - he gets slammed - Mother's Day, our anniversary, and my birthday all fall within a less than two week period! And, no, combo gifts are NOT allowed! Unless it has diamonds.
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Old 05-08-2007, 03:11 PM   #15
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I usually get flowers and a card. Flowers are pretty, but I'm not really a "flower" person. This year, I circled some jewellery items (all under $200) and gave him the advertisement. We'll see how he does. I would be happy with a gift cert. from the LSS, but want jewellery this year!!
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Old 05-09-2007, 10:20 AM   #16
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we are hosting brunch here for my sister and my mom..he claims he is making it..but come on, who is going to clean the house, buy the food, plan the food and eventually make it or at least help?? ME! So, he thought it would be better since the cousins havent seen each other they would want to play here than go to a restaurant...so as far as a gift, I just bought my moms and his moms and he keeps asking me what I want and honestly I have no clue...just a day of peace would be the best!
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Old 05-09-2007, 10:40 AM   #17
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I won't get anything. My DH is an exH and my child is too young to get the concept. *sigh* She'll probably give the usual.....messes to clean up, spills to wipe up, laundry to wash up......and I'm totally okay with that.
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Old 05-09-2007, 05:12 PM   #18
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you know...My dh is a baseball coach...so for the last 6-7 months our lives have been turned upside down so that he can do something that "he thoroughly enjoys". Honestly, I am exhausted... Ihave only missed 3 games of the 18 we have played. I just want him to think about all the hours I have spent at the field, all the meals I have cooked at 8 o'clock, all the gatorade and ice I have bought, and coolers I have carried, plus pizza bought, and times that I have had to tell my son that I am sorry, but he has to go to bed without seeing dad, and turn that into a nice gift. BUT, as of yet, he has purchased nothing...and I can tell you, if he tells me he didn't have time to at least get me card, you ladies in California will hear me screaming.
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Old 05-09-2007, 05:42 PM   #19
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I get the "You're not my mother line," too. He's really hit and mostly miss. One year when DS#1 was almost 1 I got a dooney purse and wallet. Since then it's been mostly nothing. (DS will be ten this year.) A couple of years we went to a Mother's Day luncheon. Some years the kids make him take them shopping, I get beautiful colors of nail polish or lipstick. Once in awhile they'll got to the craft dept and pick out a stamp or two. It's always from Wal-Mart. This also holds true for my birthday. This year I flat out told him I wanted a new purse, that I've looked all over town and I needed to go to a MALL, (aren't any in our town.) Sunday he told me he'd give me $75 to go towards my purse. I want a Coach so that's a good place to start. Tonight, after he put $49 in the gas tank he got in the car and said that was my Mother's Day present, truth is I don't think he was joking. Last year the kids all made something at school, he said that was enough.

Either way, I hope y 'all have a great Mother's day.

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Old 05-09-2007, 05:43 PM   #20
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My Dh cooks me breakfast in bed every Mother's Day. Sometimes the kids help (they are older now, ages 14 and 12) and sometimes he just does it. I love it as he NEVER cooks and this is all I want .
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Old 05-10-2007, 07:03 AM   #21
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my dh usually cooks me breakfast with our son... and lets me sleep in . I dont always get a card but somewhere in our busy schedules he gets our children to color or draw me a picture...
however this year if i want to spend time with him I will have to go to the restaurant he covers shifts at, because they have him on the schedule from 12 to 8 pm... blah but its not about him anyway- just i usually get a break on Mother's day - not this year... although we may go to my moms house instead and spend some time with her... do breakfast or dinner out with her instead of our usual routine ( we being me and my kids )
But yes Dh usually does something - i even got a rose when i was pregnant on mother's day. but that was just him and I am pretty positive his mom had something to do with it, cause i was down a lot when I was preggers with DS ( he's 5 now)
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Old 05-10-2007, 10:59 AM   #22
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Well, my DH is always been really good at Mother's Day and this year wasn't any different. Oh your saying it isn't Mother's day yet - for me this will the Happy Mother's week as he gave me my present on 4 days ago. A spankin' new camera to drive everyone crazy with. His reasoning for the early gift was that our DD had a talent show last night and he knew I would be taking pictures....

AND he will be making rotisserie chicken on actual Mother's day. MMM.

Of course, I made DIL, MIL & my Mom cards and sent them off.

Now if we could get the kids (who are old enough) to understand the idea of Mothers day and maybe clean up the house or something so I can play with my toys. :P
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Old 05-10-2007, 11:50 AM   #23
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Let's see......

We've been married five years, and he hasn't so much as written a nice "love note" or given me one single card in at least the last four years - not for birthdays, anniversaries, nothing. So last night he asked me if I had made any Mothers Day cards, and if he could have one to send to his mom. Even if I HAD made a card that he could use for M's Day, my answer would have had to be, "No" - 'cause I guess I'm feeling petty that way!

And I have really bad allergies, so the huge bouquets of flowers he's sent in the last few weeks for my birthday, anniversary, and valentine's day haven't exactly been a hit for me. Seriously, shouldn't he have this figured out by now?! Hopefully flowers won't be anywhere in sight, but I'm not counting on it.

Anyway, I have absolutely no expectations of a gift or card of any variety. I do fully expect that he'll sleep at least an hour later than me and my daughter, get up just as breakfast hits the table, and that he'll want to sneak out for a motorcycle ride by himself if the weather's nice. Nice, huh?!

Wow, I sound bitter today.... Can you tell it's been a very long week?!
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Old 05-11-2007, 03:24 AM   #24
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I don't want a mother's day gift from my DH -- what I usually ask for is for him to take his mother out without me, LOL. That is gift enough in itself and it makes her happy!

Last year he had the kids do handprints in stones from them. This year I just asked for time to spend with the kids - in the afternoon I am going to craft and I want him to spend time with DS. It will be a true Mother's Day miracle if he can just pull that off!!
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Old 05-11-2007, 08:02 AM   #25
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For me, DH thinks the same as many...I'm not his mother... Even though we have Abby now, I will not be getting anything, yet he wants something for Father's Day (needless to say, I think that bubble is going to bust big this year!)

Even before Abby, he always got a Father's Day gift from me...

I do the shopping for both his mom and my mom for Mother's day so it of course doesn't bother me that my mom gets more!
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Old 05-11-2007, 09:28 AM   #26
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If I don't specifically request something, I don't get anything. Last year on MD when everyone else was passing out cards at lunch, he felt pretty schmucky and wanted to take me to the mall to buy a bottle of perfume (something I'd gotten a sample of and liked), but when that didn't work out because of kids' naps, he just let it drop.

This year, I told him that I wanted a weeknd without the kids so I could do my stamping. It took some convincing and I did all the planning to make it happen, but I did get it (end of April since May is SOO busy). It was wonderful. I think I will be requesting something similar for my birthday and next mother's day and the birthday after that...
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Old 05-11-2007, 01:14 PM   #27
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I've told my DH not to get me anything - I'm his wife after all, and not his mother. As my kids get older I get really sweet gifts from them and they mean the world to me.

My DH does make the day and `special' family day, and I wouldn't want him to do more. I feel that the time for him to tell me he appreciates me is every single time he comes home from work and the children are not ducktaped to the banister. Also, we've got Valentine's, birthdays, Christmas and anniversary if we really need a special excuse- I don't need Mother's Day as well (except from my kids).
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