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Old 01-04-2007, 05:14 PM   #1
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I am so MAD!!!!

I don't usually do this, but if I don't get this off of my chest...I am going to scream.

My DH is now the headcoach of the JV baseball team at our local HS. He took this job mostly because I assured him it was okay with me as long as he came home at a decent hour. We have a 4 yr old DS he needs to come home to. Well, they had "workouts" today and he was supposed to be home around 6. I cooked dinner and had it ready at about 6:05. At 6:15, he called home and told me that he had a booster club meeting at 7 and that he and a friend of his were going to get something to eat. "Is that alright?" Heck no, I have dinner ready...is what I said. He assured me that he would eat dinner for lunch tomorrow and went to eat with his friend. At 9 he came home after the meeting and wants to pretend that nothing is wrong. I am sorry, BUT eating it tomorrow for lunch doesn't justify the time that I spent fixing dinner for HIM. DS and I could have eaten a plain sandwich. And, to call me at 6:15...I find this to be a huge lack of respect for me.

Now, maybe I will not have a huge knock out drag out fight with my husband!

thanks for listening,
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Old 01-04-2007, 05:25 PM   #2
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May I make a suggestion stampin'hokie? Sleep on it before you talk to your DH. If this happened weekly I'd be upset too.

I would wait until tomorrow when you're feeling calmer. Ask him to sit down with you. Explain that you need to know AHEAD of time when he has a booster club meeting... like a day or two ahead.

Every now and then our guys goof up... but I always find it's best to discuss concerns calmly and make suggestions for improvement.

I hope things work out well for you.
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Old 01-04-2007, 06:19 PM   #3
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Definitely vent here and then brush it off. Take Jan's advice and calm down before talking to DH. If possible, have him show you a schedule of meetings and write them on the calendar together.

Believe me - I understand your frustration. When my DH isn't going to be home, it's chicken nugget or frozen pizza night.
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Old 01-04-2007, 07:18 PM   #4
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That's frustrating, but definitely vent here, cool off, and sleep on it.
My husband just came home after three years in the army, so be glad that he comes home at all. It definitley has given me new perspective....Good luck- you know you love him!
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Old 01-04-2007, 07:18 PM   #5
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Gee, around here coaches are not allowed to get together with their teams until the season officially starts (March).

Occasionally things come up, but unless things work differently out there, there really isn't a big need for a JV coach to attend a boosters meeting. I coached Varsity field hockey for 13 years and JV softball for 5-6 and I never attended a boosters meeting.
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Old 01-04-2007, 07:19 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeahsCreations

Believe me - I understand your frustration. When my DH isn't going to be home, it's chicken nugget or frozen pizza night.
We're PB&J here.
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Old 01-04-2007, 07:23 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srogers5
We're PB&J here.
I eat too much PB&J for lunch.
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Old 01-04-2007, 08:34 PM   #8
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Don't cook tomorrow night ... when he comes home wondering where dinner is just smile and say "I'm sorry honey - I didn't know you would be coming home for dinner so I didn't cook ... besides you had a nice lunch, right? (the dinner you made the night before)".

That should help give him a clue that if he needs to work late he also needs to pick up the phone before 6PM to let you know!
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Old 01-04-2007, 09:27 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srogers5
Gee, around here coaches are not allowed to get together with their teams until the season officially starts (March).

Occasionally things come up, but unless things work differently out there, there really isn't a big need for a JV coach to attend a boosters meeting. I coached Varsity field hockey for 13 years and JV softball for 5-6 and I never attended a boosters meeting.
That's the way it was when I lived on the East Coast too. However, on the west coast my son starts conditioning with the team for football (and going to camps, etc.)...the day after school gets out. Basketball starts while football is still going on and baseball starts while basketball is still going on. My son plays all 3 and just got his first break over Christmas.

As far as the OP. I would be upset too. He should be able to tell you well ahead of time regarding meetings. Most booster clubs meetings are set at the beginning of the school year. Ours meets the first Monday of every month.

Be proud of yourself...I probably would have gone ballistic...and then vented to the gals. You did good.
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Old 01-04-2007, 10:34 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeahsCreations
I eat too much PB&J for lunch.
OMG!! Totally off subject here but where did u take ur avatar pic? Do you know these ppl? I love santa playing the basson Wow!! Tell me more, I'm a music major/

SOrry to mess up ur thread...
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Old 01-04-2007, 11:52 PM   #11
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I think you're fully justified in feeling disrespected and your husband needs to apologize. However, I agree with the "sleep on it" advice. I have been known to, on occasion, get annoyed with the DH because he just didn't "get it" when it came to valuing my time and energy. But, it never made the problem any better if I did my "angry Donald Duck" impression. LOL

I would say that, tomorrow morning, you could talk to him or just write him a little note that says, "I know you're trying something new (coaching) and I know you wouldn't dream of intentionally hurting my feelings, but when you called last night and decided to "go out" for dinner, it really hurt my feelings."
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Old 01-05-2007, 04:03 AM   #12
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Thanks ladies for the great advice and for letting me vent. Here's an update. After I put my son to bed, my DH wanted to ask me about my day and what I was working on for school (actually, I was surfing SCS instead of doing plans for today that I had done while he was out. He didn't need to know that though ) When I gave him short and snappy answers, he quickly understood that I was upset. He apologized for not coming home and said that he would try to do better. THis is a big step for him....he is not the apologetic type. God really does answer prayers--I was able to vent here and circumvent a huge fight.

Thanks for listening and for the great advice! YOu ladies are great!

have a blessed day!

teresa
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Old 01-05-2007, 07:51 AM   #13
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[QUOTE=California gal]May I make a suggestion stampin'hokie? Sleep on it before you talk to your DH. QUOTE]

I agree, sleep on it before you talk to him. When I'm angry, my husband knows that he needs to leave me alone for a few hours before trying to talk.

My husband used to have to work late and not come home until after 7 and I would get sooooo mad at him for it. Hopefully this won't have to happen very often!
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