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She is due to deliver any day now and I would like to make her a card. I know she is giving the baby up and has picked out the family for open adoption. Any way has anyone done this before? I was thinking of buying her a pamper yourself gift set from Bath and Body. Any thoughts/sayings would be greatly appreciated.
I've never known anyone going through this difficult situation, but what you suggested, sounds like a wonderful idea... Are there other people that would be willing to donate $$ ?? If there are, perhaps a spa day or something like that would be affordable. If not, I'm sure the gift set would be just fine.
That is such a nice thing you want to do!!
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I can help! I am actually a birth mom. My daughter will be 10 years old this summer and we have an open adoption.
Something to pamper her would be awesome. She will also probably have treasured pictures (one of the amazing benefits of open adoption) that she will want to put in an album. Not necessarily a baby book, but a pretty album or something. Those pictures (especially the first year) will be very, very important to her.
You're such a sweet friend to think of her and be so sensitive about this. If you have any questions or need any more help, feel free to PM me.
I have a very close friend who also gave up her baby. I definitely think that a photo album is a nice gift or maybe a stuffed animal as a rememberence. I know that sounds weird but it worked for her.
Maybe even a journal type book so she can write to the baby and give him/her the journal at a later time. Maybe that would help her get her feeling out and explain why she chose the family she did for the baby to go to and all that.
Thanks for all the ideas. I asked a few gals at work and they told me it would be too hard for her to accept gifts so they don't want to give anything :(
Oh for goodness sake - just because she is giving the greatest gift a person can give to another couple doesn't mean she wouldn't want a gift. I have friends who have adopted and my cousin and his wife are on a waiting list and we are just so excited for them. Don't second guess yourself - when the hormones drop your gift and card may just be what helps her get through that time. What she is doing is not an easy thing to do - but obviously a realistic one for her. Maybe also say about having lunch together when she is back at work or before she gets back if you are that close just to get her back into a groove.
I agree with RiverIsis. If she chose an open adoption, this will be an emotional time for her, but in a good way..... Not only is she giving this baby a life that many women wouldn't have, she is giving it a better life than she feels she can give it. AND she'll get to be a part of her baby's life, just not in a way that many people think of. Open adoptions are a wonderful thing! Here's the blog of a woman who is raising a child from an open adoption - http://gotchababy.blogspot.com/. She's a great woman and I bet she'd be MORE than happy to let you know about the other side.
Don't let those close-minded ladies at your office tell you she won't want anything! Sometimes the birth mom feels left out - no baby shower, no pampering, no baby to cuddle afterwards! This will help her feel like what she did was appreciated.
Shoot! I want to pamper her! PM me her address (or your work address is fine) I'll send her some goodies!
Sorry! I'm irritated at the ladies who are trying to talk you out of this!
Of course she wants gifts! I simply can't imagine not wanting to give her something.
that being said, who cares what your coworkers say, you do what you think is right. I agree with everyone here that the pampering type gift is perfect. Maybe a gift certificate for a pedicure? Although I know not everyone is into that, so maybe the pampering products are a better choice.
If you got a lovely journal that would be super touching.
I'm glad you are thinking of her. I'm sure it's hard, even if she knows it's right and it is SUCH a wonderful thing in so many ways, I'm sure it's still emotional and difficult.
hugs,
e
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Your instinct is right on, don't let anyone tell you she won't enjoy something just for her. I would love to send her a card if you'll PM me her address.
Just wanted to say how thoughtful it is for you to be thinking of her...she will probably find out who her true friends are during this whole process, and you undoubtedly will be high on her list!
Oh my co-workers will never talk me out of it. I think it's great what she is doing and know at some point it will be very tough for her. I'm going to work on my card and gift basket this weekend.
I'm not so sure how she would feel about me talking to others about her and suddenly she gets cards from folks she doesn't know. You are all so wonderful. I know her agency she went through offers her support groups and stuff with others going through the same thing.
I think you are doing a wonderful thing. The other day I recieved a card from Mari Lynn on SCS that says "You make God smile" and that made me smile!! I would say that you also make God smile. Your coworker will undoubtedly have many emotional ups and downs, since doing the best and right thing doesn't always feel so good. I also really respect you for saying she might not like it that her story is shared and to recieve cards from strangers - we all wanna chip in and help out but sometimes it is better to sit back and let things flow. God has it all planned. Hugs to you and to her, and the baby and the adoption family.
ooooh ooooh ooooooh what about altering a journal into a birth mother's journey or birth mother's messages and cover it with paper and maybe inside put a few uplifting images or sentiments??? just a thought.
These are all excellent ideas. I was adopted and have memories of my biological mother. A special journal and/or photo book is a great idea. My orphanage report is the only thing I have to "remind" me her and it is in a special memory box. Blessings to you, your friend and the family involved!
I know that this is probably too close to the due date to be of any help, but my idea was to knit or crochet a baby blanket for her to give to the baby with a matching scarf for herself. It is sort of a baby version of those necklaces that are for two people...each has one half.
I know that this is probably too close to the due date to be of any help, but my idea was to knit or crochet a baby blanket for her to give to the baby with a matching scarf for herself. It is sort of a baby version of those necklaces that are for two people...each has one half.
Wow! This is a really great idea! A scarf that matches the blanket is something she can have forever! I think that anything that you do for your co-worker and friend will be greatly appreciated. I think that also just calling her to talk or go out to lunch while she is on leave from work will be a tremendous help. She will probably need lots of TLC once she is home. Just sending her a card once a week to let her know you are thinking of her would be fabulous!
Help for co-worker giving baby up for adoption
