Unappreciated "Homemade" Items

Michelle Z. · 03-23-2005, 06:21 AM

Last week I made some Stamped Post-It notes books for the gals that work with my husband. I put them in cello bags and tied ithem up with ribbon and I was told..."you have way too much time on your hands".
What???

And my mother-in-law has made it known she prefers storebought cards to those "homemade" ones.

At first I thought I was just a crappy stamper, now I think that some people just don't get it.

Has this ever happened to you? What do you say to these people?

~Michelle Z.

Disneywed · 03-23-2005, 06:28 AM

nothing that abd yet....but that would be the last gift the gals from work got from me, store bought or otherwise. I spent some time making a birthday card for a friend a few weeks back and I asked her the other day how she liked it, she said she thought it was good and then threw it out!!! I am still pretty new at this and that *&^%$ card took me 45 minutes!!!! GHRRRR YOur comment from MIL was pretty bad though....I would be thinking of some pretty awful"store bought" item for her <<<picturing the leg lamp from the movie A Christmas Story<<< LOL

jdsgrl97 · 03-23-2005, 06:30 AM

First of all, let me tell you that as soon as I was done reading your post, my heart fell... I am so sorry that in sharing something you love to do, you were met with such ridiculous comments.

"You have too much time on your hands" may have been their awkward way of saying they could never do this. All of us here know that there is not enough time in the day to do all the stamping we'd like to do! :lol:

As for your MIL... well, if Miss Manners caught me posting what I *really* think about that, I'd get a severe tongue lashing. All of her preferred "store bought" cards from here on out would come from a gas station if she were my MIL.

Here, you are among friends and people who appreciate what you do. Pay no attention to those who devalue your creativity.

STAMP ON, STAMPER!

Badger_Hockey · 03-23-2005, 06:32 AM

I know what you mean. At the beginning of March I sent my cousin & her mom birthday cards. I also included a beaded pen for my cousin. This is the first time I've sent cards to them -- and I never heard a word about it. I guess I shouldn't be upset - but wouldn't you take the time to at least type up an email thank you?!?!

So this week was my other cousin (same household) birthday. I sent her something I made for V-Day that I never sent out. I think it's called a door hanger, folded up with candy in it.

I don't see these guys very often - but I think it's kind rude. Maybe I'm asking too much....

Sara

kathynruss · 03-23-2005, 06:37 AM

Michelle, too bad your co-workers don't appreciate your work. I know my own sister doesn't keep my cards very long. She's a neatness fanatic and gets rid of "clutter." I put my best efforts into cards for my stamping friends back in Spokane. They love to see what I've been doing and add the cards to their samples.

ajm · 03-23-2005, 06:39 AM

I have gotten that "you have too much time on your hands comment" also. I just ignore them and do what I want to, making cards and little gift baggies makes me happy. I'm also figuring out who appreciates my efforts the most and concentrating them there. I find that people who don't do any crafts, just don't get it, and I accept that it's just because they are different and try not to take it personally.

You do what makes you happy.

Ann

ScrappinGoodTime · 03-23-2005, 06:41 AM

Keep in mind that the girls at work probably said what they said out of envy that you No 1 take the time to make things from the heart and No 2 that you are more talented than they. And remember its not the getting thats importand its the giving and if taking the time to make something gives you joy then revel in it!!

tickley_toes · 03-23-2005, 06:45 AM

That is so rude. My blood is just boiling reading the "you have too much time on your hands" comment. As for your MIL, I would keep giving her the homemade ones if you enjoy making them for her. If she can't appreciate them and actually is rude enough to comment about them then she can stick it! :( :shock:

mycattracks · 03-23-2005, 06:45 AM

:shock: "NO MORE CARDS FOR YOU" :twisted: :!: :!: :!:
thats what I say, how rude I wouldn't even give a store bought card I would say something like "I stood in the card isle for howers and I couldn't find one that would be good enough [crapy enough] for you"
I think that a hand made one, no matter what it looks like is always better than store bought. It says the person really cares about you that they spent time rather than MONEY which is more valuable IMO.

row4d · 03-23-2005, 06:47 AM

I confess, I've made the "too much time" comment myself, but always in jest and only to those who know I'm joking -- they know what a crafting nut I am, and I've been the target of that line many times myself!

Chillin · 03-23-2005, 06:49 AM

I really feel for you. Last month I made a card and some gifts for my DH's cousin's baby shower. Everyone "ohh"'d and "aaahh"'d, then later I over heard the mother of the girl (DH's aunt) telling one of her friends that my DH and I must be in real financial trouble because I had to make all my gifts and cards. She went on to tell the friend how all she got for a Christmas gift was a bag of 24 handmade cards - which was the gift I gave to all the ladies on both sides WHEN we don't ever exchange gifts except for the kids. And no, we are not in financial trouble, I was simply being nice. Never again for that aunt.

Needless to say, they will never get another thing from my, handmade or otherwise. In fact, I may not even offer to bring a dish for Easter.

I am sorry that this happened to you.

Faryprincess · 03-23-2005, 06:52 AM

When people in the past have told me I have to much time I tell them oh no this is so easy you should stamp with me sometimes and I will show you that anyone can do it.

I was trying a new technique once and asked DH how the card looked. He said honestly it looks like something a 10 year old did. I said thank you for your honest input and that is the card we are sending to your parents! Since I had my practice card done the ones for my family looked better.

And for those people who would prefer store bought cards, they can keep buying them! You enjoy making cards so keep making them. Don't stop to please anyone else.

stamper-c · 03-23-2005, 06:54 AM

oh, yes...I've heard things like that many times! Family can be the worst! I used to offer to make my mom note cards, occasion cards, etc...and she would say, "oh, I have so many that I get in the mail (Paralyzed Vets cards, etc)...I don't need anything else like that"... :shock: You would rather have a mass produced card to send than one made by your own daughter!!!??? :shock:
I just offered to make bridal shower favors for my soon to be SIL shower, that my MIL is hosting...we'll see what she says!! My dh's family is the type that doesn't understand why you would spend your time and money doing something creative...it is not productive in their eyes...
I have done several craft fairs...and people there make comments like the too much time one! I did a fair at my dd's school and my neighbor stopped by, her daughter asked to buy a magnet or something small that I was selling...the mom said, "Explain to me why we need something like that in our house!" In front of me! Hello!!!!!! :shock:

Bottom line...if you like what you do and it makes you happy, stick with it...eventually (hopefully) they will realize what a great thing you are doing and they will come around...if not, it's their loss!!!

mamakimberly · 03-23-2005, 06:55 AM

A piece of folded toilet paper would make a great gift for MIL next year

Or perhaps a card from Dollar Tree? You could even cut it in half to save $!

mamakimberly · 03-23-2005, 06:58 AM

oh, and Emily (as in, emilymomto3boys) once told me "That's what Hallmark is for" ;)

She is now eating her words (for life).

Georgia Evenson · 03-23-2005, 06:59 AM

People are so funny when it comes to getting our cards - my sister's reaction was "what, are you back in school playing with paper and crayons" - while my sister-in-law just loves them all and puts them on her mantel every holiday. People are funny! I guess that's what makes the world go around!

mom2kjs · 03-23-2005, 07:01 AM

I'm so afraid that my family will throw away the cards that I'm sending my husbands deployment address in that I'm going to use labels and stick them inside...that way they can't throw away all the work that went into them...isn't that terrible? I haven't had anyone say that "I must have a lot of time on my hands" yet. If they did I would probably respond with the...it's really easy and doesn't take long, I could teach you! comment. Anyway, keep stamping...most people appreciate it! ~Lorie

cindy_canada · 03-23-2005, 07:03 AM

The "You have too much time on your hand" comment was rude and tactless. You had absolutely no obligation towards them, you just made a little something out of generosity and they should have been grateful for that.
And if someone can't appreciate a hand-made card, maybe that person doesn't deserve to receive a card at all. A gift is a gift and the person who receives it should be able to appreciate the gesture.
I hope you don't stop making cards and gifts because of those bad comments. Just find other persons to give them to. I'm sure others will be more appreciative.

The people who thinks that handmade cards are a way to save on money have obviously no idea how much art supplies cost!

Cindy

LadyDye · 03-23-2005, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Faryprincess

I was trying a new technique once and asked DH how the card looked. He said honestly it looks like something a 10 year old did. I said thank you for your honest input and that is the card we are sending to your parents! Since I had my practice card done the ones for my family looked better.

Thanks for the laugh girl!

kzimbie · 03-23-2005, 07:07 AM

Sorry your MIL is so insensitive, Maybe just send her an email card in the future - it's generic and easy. It's true that many people think we spend hours and hours on one project and just don't get stamping in general. I once stamped a gift bag and matching tissue paper (in about 3 minutes) and a few ladies thought I had colored each stamp with a marker, huffed and stamped it. (they didn't know about 2 step stamping)

It used to bother me if people threw away the card I lovingly made for them, but I came to realize my gift to them is the love and energy I put into the card and if they felt that love, and appreciated the card then my gift was accepted. If they choose not to keep the card and enjoy the gift again and again - well, that is their choice. I still felt that the card had value even if it was just enjoied once. Besides, I can't keep track of those who keep my cards and those who don't - I'm too busy stamping!

karen

MaryEileen · 03-23-2005, 07:08 AM

When you give anything that you make yourself, whether it be cards or baked goods, it is special and from the heart. There are people who really appreciate the effort, and especially your time. What is more valuable to give, than your time?

Unless the person is a stamper, they have no idea what it costs to make cards. My husband frequently jokes that I have my cost per card down to $42.00.

Making cards gives me pleasure. When I find someone who seems indifferent, they get a purchased card from my drawer full of leftovers from before stamping.

One year, I sent store-bought Christmas cards. I got many comments, asking if my family and friends were "off the A list".

Always take the high road. Don't let your feelings be hurt by insensitive people. Maybe they don't know any better.

My family and friends appreciate the homemade cards. They even appreciated them when I was just beginning. Many of them tell me they have saved them all. Even my 37 year old son told me he keeps all my cards. I was amazed.

Eileen

lindalee · 03-23-2005, 07:10 AM

I used to quilt--those 'too much time on your hands' and 'financial trouble' comments really sting when you've taken 3 MONTHS to make a gift :shock: Some people just don't get it--only give hand work to people who have admired your work in the past or because you just love to play with paper!

mar · 03-23-2005, 07:11 AM

Just had to say, if I do not take the time to make homemade cards for my family, they wonder why. Last year my MIL was offended that I did not make her card. ( did not have time). So now I try to have some made up ahead.

tmcooper · 03-23-2005, 07:14 AM

Ladies, I must agree with those who no longer make "homemade" gifts for those who don't appreciate them. I spent hours one year making gift baskets for Christmas for each household in both sides of our family (homemade jellys and jams, vinegars, cookie mixes, soup mixes, gel sachets). Those who asked "what am I supposed to do with this" now get a gift certificate to a local establishment. Lucky for those who appreciated my work, for they have greatly benefited - I have more time to "waste" on them.

Of course, this can't hold a candle to the year I stitched a 12x18 sampler for my m-i-l (who repeatedly fussed b/c I didn't craft for her), presented it to her and took her to have it framed (she picked out expensive frame and matting which DH and I paid for). The next time we visited I found the sampler behind her sofa. DH offered to hang it for her - her reply: I really don't like it - why don't you take it home. It is now hanging in my home - and she is on the gift cert. list.

My advice - keep crafting only for those who appreciate your hard work.

ellena · 03-23-2005, 07:17 AM

So sorry to hear about the envious and rude comments you received. You obviously have a big heart and sharing something you made is giving part of yourself. Don't take it too personally, do what makes you happy. (If it makes you happy to just tell your MIL Happy Birthday next time, rather than making her a card, then go for it.) Fill your "well" with what makes you happy, for others will always be drawing from you anyway. My family and my DH's family all appreciate, love and kindly compliment me on my "handcrafted" items. My DH's aun't even framed a water color painting I did while learning in a class (that probably a "10 year old could do---"). Anyway, final words, fill your well with what makes you happy. Have a nice day, too!

kzimbie · 03-23-2005, 07:19 AM

Sorry your MIL is so insensitive, Maybe just send her an email card in the future - it's generic and easy. It's true that many people think we spend hours and hours on one project and just don't get stamping in general. I once stamped a gift bag and matching tissue paper (in about 3 minutes) and a few ladies thought I had colored each image with a marker (3colors), huffed and stamped it. (they didn't know about 2 step stamping)

It used to bother me if people threw away the card I lovingly made for them, but I came to realize my gift to them is the love and energy I put into the card and if they felt that love, and appreciated the card then my gift was accepted. If they choose not to keep the card and enjoy the gift again and again - well, that is their choice. I still felt that the card had value even if it was just enjoied once. Besides, I can't keep track of those who keep my cards and those who don't - I'm too busy stamping!

My elderly neighbor recently passed away and as I sat with her and her daugher in law I noticed the valentine card I had made for her sitting on her dresser. That was an awesome feeling. Maybe not all appreciate it but it's worth it for those who do.

karen

ellena · 03-23-2005, 07:20 AM

So sorry to hear about the envious and rude comments you received. You obviously have a big heart and sharing something you made is giving part of yourself. Don't take it too personally, do what makes you happy. (If it makes you happy to just tell your MIL Happy Birthday next time, rather than making her a card, then go for it.) Fill your "well" with what makes you happy, for others will always be drawing from you anyway. My family and my DH's family all appreciate, love and kindly compliment me on my "handcrafted" items. My DH's aun't even framed a water color painting I did while learning in a class (that probably a "10 year old could do---"). Anyway, final words, fill your well with what makes you happy. Have a nice day, too!

Vintage Redhead · 03-23-2005, 07:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamakimberly

A piece of folded toilet paper would make a great gift for MIL next year

Would that be to make her better understand that she treats people like sh#t?

So sorry...that was my out-loud voice...couldn't help myself...

I have a great snark for the "...too much time on your hands..." remark. I just look at them with a big ole smile on my face and say: Yes. I *do* have too much time on my hands. That's the great thing about *MY* life! Those who mean it in a nasty way don't make those comments ever again to my face! The ones who are being nice ask more questions about what it takes to do it - and they get an invite over to play with my stamping toys.

Michelle: So sorry that happened to you. They are not worthy, they are not worthy, they are not worthy.....

kzimbie · 03-23-2005, 07:26 AM

Sorry your MIL is so insensitive, Maybe just send her an email card in the future - it's generic and easy. It's true that many people think we spend hours and hours on one project and just don't get stamping in general. I once stamped a gift bag and matching tissue paper (in about 3 minutes) and a few ladies thought I had colored each image with a marker (3colors), huffed and stamped it. (they didn't know about 2 step stamping)

It used to bother me if people threw away the card I lovingly made for them, but I came to realize my gift to them is the love and energy I put into the card and if they felt that love, and appreciated the card then my gift was accepted. If they choose not to keep the card and enjoy the gift again and again - well, that is their choice. I still felt that the card had value even if it was just enjoied once. Besides, I can't keep track of those who keep my cards and those who don't - I'm too busy stamping!

My elderly neighbor recently passed away and as I sat with her and her daugher in law I noticed the valentine card I had made for her sitting on her dresser. That was an awesome feeling. Maybe not all appreciate it but it's worth it for those who do.

karen

kzimbie · 03-23-2005, 07:27 AM

Sorry your MIL is so insensitive, Maybe just send her an email card in the future - it's generic and easy. It's true that many people think we spend hours and hours on one project and just don't get stamping in general. I once stamped a gift bag and matching tissue paper (in about 3 minutes) and a few ladies thought I had colored each image with a marker (3colors), huffed and stamped it. (they didn't know about 2 step stamping)

It used to bother me if people threw away the card I lovingly made for them, but I came to realize my gift to them is the love and energy I put into the card and if they felt that love, and appreciated the card then my gift was accepted. If they choose not to keep the card and enjoy the gift again and again - well, that is their choice. I still felt that the card had value even if it was just enjoied once. Besides, I can't keep track of those who keep my cards and those who don't - I'm too busy stamping!

My elderly neighbor recently passed away and as I sat with her and her daugher in law I noticed the valentine card I had made for her sitting on her dresser. That was an awesome feeling. Maybe not all appreciate it but it's worth it for those who do.

karen

mooshie_stamps · 03-23-2005, 07:35 AM

I would be so insulted if my MIL said something like that to me! luckily even though she drives me nuts I did get her addicted to stamping, so now we have at least one thing in common. but I tell you anyone that ever said something like that to me would never get another card from me again! I wouldn't even buy an ugly one for them. I know I'm mean, but it's really mean to say something so insulting about what you love to do, and something you've put your time and heart into. jsut my 2 cents
Michelle

prbloom · 03-23-2005, 07:41 AM

Gosh, I'm sorry to hear that your work is not VERY much valued! Sometimes I wish my family WOULD under value my cards! Everytime there is a need for a card, they tap me for the job! And my MIL is the worst. I love her and don't want to say NO, but how many cards can one woman use!!!!
I would pick someone else to give my very special cards to if that's the way "those" people feel!!!

LET THEM BUY HALLMARK! :lol: :lol: :lol:

wright1 · 03-23-2005, 07:44 AM

I've heard the "to much time on your hands" so many times. And this is from the other women at stamp camp. :shock:

I think this comment is ridiculous. Stamping is a hobby, that's what people do, is spend time on it. If it's something you love you will MAKE the time. And who in their right mind is going to spend all this money on stamping and not find the time to do it.

Some of the women at my stamp camp talk about all the things they have to do and they haven't even opened their stamps from 2 months ago and I think "why are you here"? My own mother has made this comment, which made me mad because my mom at my age with the same number of children, was a stay at home mom. At least I don't make my kids do all the housework.

She should be glad that God has blessed my family, to where I am able to be home with her grandchildren.

I really hate that comment because we all choose to do what we want with our time and its like someone is putting down stamping. Nobody says that to me when I spend all day doing 4 to 5 loads of laundry.

Okay, I have vented enough. I say take these people off the list of who you give your creations to.

stampysister · 03-23-2005, 07:46 AM

Go down to the local thrift store and find a pile of old cards for MIL. In-Laws are an awkward situation at best. If she makes a comment, say, "oh, yah, I bought that at a store...." and end with that.

I would have to say I'd take the other ladies comments with a grain of salt. People who work full time seem to think that Mom's who don't work full time just sit around and eat bonbons all day. If they have nothing fulfilling to do with their spare time then shame on them.

I have a customer who works full time and is a full time soccer mom and still has time to get published regularly in rubber stamper magazine (like 5-6 times a year!), so even full time working people have time to stamp. People who don't think they have enough time to express their creative side are just jealous of others who are taking the time.

I limit my homemade gift giving. Actually, this is part of why I spend more time on scrapbooking. My family appreciates the books I make and I get to keep them, ALL TO MYSELF.

Good Luck.

MICHELLE WOODERSON · 03-23-2005, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamakimberly

A piece of folded toilet paper would make a great gift for MIL next year

Or perhaps a card from Dollar Tree? You could even cut it in half to save $!

Kimberly, you devilish little thing you!! So true though.

When I hear people say "you've got wayyyy too much spare time on your hands".....I think like this: You know, there is no such thing as spare time. We're all given the same 24 hours in a day and how you choose to use it is up to you. Maybe you choose to watch soap operas or gossip on the phone or read magazines or hang out in a bar. I choose to do a hobby that I love, have met tons of good friends because of it, and get a wonderful feeling when I do something nice for others. So bite me, babe!

Hang in there, quit sending them homemade stuff and send it all to your SCS friends. Do you need my address?

justheather · 03-23-2005, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michelle Z.

Last week I made some Stamped Post-It notes books for the gals that work with my husband. I put them in cello bags and tied ithem up with ribbon and I was told..."you have way too much time on your hands".
What???

And my mother-in-law has made it known she prefers storebought cards to those "homemade" ones.

At first I thought I was just a crappy stamper, now I think that some people just don't get it.

Has this ever happened to you? What do you say to these people?

~Michelle Z.

Some people just don't get it. It's as simple as that.

I wouldn't worry about it. If you need to give one of these people a card, make it a quick and simple one and know that they're going to throw it away. You're still going to be saving money over buying a $3.85 card from the gold crown store.

ellena · 03-23-2005, 07:49 AM

So sorry to hear about the envious and rude comments you received. You obviously have a big heart and sharing something you made is giving part of yourself. Don't take it too personally, do what makes you happy. (If it makes you happy to just tell your MIL Happy Birthday next time, rather than making her a card, then go for it.) Fill your "well" with what makes you happy, for others will always be drawing from you anyway. My family and my DH's family all appreciate, love and kindly compliment me on my "handcrafted" items. My DH's aun't even framed a water color painting I did while learning in a class (that probably a "10 year old could do---"). Anyway, final words, fill your well with what makes you happy. Have a nice day, too!

TammyJo · 03-23-2005, 07:51 AM

I had a similar experience this weekend. I made my niece a card as well as one of the paper bag books for her cat pictures. It took me 2-3 hours to make that book (my first one) and I was proud of it. I gave it to her on Saturday and she looked at each page, said 'cool' put it on the counter and it was still there when I left. There were other family members over that day and she didn't show anyone. I was really disappointed in her reaction and left thinking I'll never make one of those again. Then I decided that her reaction shouldn't stop me from doing something that I enjoy.

Maricela · 03-23-2005, 07:52 AM

If people would just stop and think what they're about to say, feelings wouldn't be hurt. Weather they say it directly to the person or not. I haven't heard anything that rude yet, and I hope I never do. I put my heart into what I make the person. It made me feel good when my mom called saying she received my "can of goodies" for her birthday and it made her cry cause I was thinking about her while I was making those things. But I have heard the "too much time" thing. My SIL said that I had time to stamp and she doesn't cause I stay home with my kids. I immediately corrected her. She doesn't have any kids, so I don't expect her to understand that ALL of my time is THEIR time.

jmscoping · 03-23-2005, 07:53 AM

I made my mother in law a birthday card. I wish I had kept a picture of it, because it was one of my absolute best. I struggled and struggled and struggled with it. I wanted it to be absolute perfect.

Well, her birthday happened to be during Regionals and she came to spend the weekend that I was in SA and my DH gave it to her along with her present on Saturday night. When I came home Sunday I asked during supper, did you get your card and present yet?? She said, well, I got my present but not a card. So I give DH a nasty look, be bop up to go get the card from where I put it so that DH wouldn't lose it! And it's not there. So I said, Didn't you give your mom that card that I made for her? And she replied - Oh, yeah, he gave me something, but I didn't know that was my real birthday card. She already had thrown it AWAY!

I've made cards for my girls to send to my mother for various occasions throughout the year - now mind you, before SU and SCS, I didn't send cards for squat. You got an email from me for your birthday and that was it. IF I liked you (a lot) MAYBE an e-card... My mother is the reason Hallmark makes so much money. She sends 2-3 cards for EVERY occasion. (done tried to convert her, it won't work). Well, the other day, she sent my DD a card (thank goodness she can't read cursive yet) with MONEY INCLOSED with a note that said, Get your mom to buy me a real card for Easter. I can't wait to hear from you. :shock: Can we say SLAP! in my face?

Thank goodness for caller ID. I don't have to answer my phone any more.

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