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We have a don't ask, don't tell policy at our house. He did ask me once "How much all this costs." And I had to say I didn't know, did he REALLY want me to add it up? He thought about it and decided he didn't want to know, but does tell me once in awhile I should add it all up and call the insurance guy someday.
He probably doesn't care. I figure I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't bar hop...this is my vice.
Actually, I don't know how many sets I have nor how much I've spent or I would probably go into shock. It's just better that we close our eyes and let me get what I want. I consider myself fortunate enough to be able to do that.....and...he knows it makes me happy and that I have a lot of friends because of my "little" hobby. How could he deny me happiness <g>
if I'm asked - I tell him, if he doesn't ask.... I also don't ask how much his old car cost to fix. He sees the piles of stamps, he's just glad when I get it all organized!
__________________ As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way!
I don't hide it but I don't volunteer what things cost. But I have a funny story related to this. Last June my sister and I attended the Heirloom Pro Rubber Stamp Convention in Springfield Massachusetts (HUGE). We spent like the best of them and dropped a lot of cash. My sis kept paying for her stamps using varying methods to "hide" the total cost. She used cash, check, credit card, etc. She said repeatedly that her husband would give her a hard time about how much she spent so she didn't want him to know. She said he would ask to see everything she bought so she'd have to hide some of it. Bear in mind they can afford whatever they want, they are very comfortable. I'm not crazy about her husband but that's another story.
That evening we sat in our hotel room peeling the prices off of the stamps so she could hide the evidence. I peeled the prices off of mine too. (all $500 worth). I told her that my husband would never ask to see everything I bought and that he was happy that I was attending the convention and getting away for a weekend. And in truth, DH has never questioned me or "inspected" my packages from any shopping spree.
Well, I arrive home on Sunday afternoon, loaded down with bags. I start to bring them in and DH says "did you get great stuff, let me see!!" He was genuinely interested. I thought, "oh boy he's gonna die when he sees all this stuff." One by one I showed him everything which he looked at with sincere interest. Then he turned to me and said "so how much did you spend, about $700?" I said "well no it was more like $500" His response? "wow you got some great bargains!" I thought I was going to die of laughter - I had been feeling guilty about spending so much on myself and he just thought it was great.
My DH knows , but all has been purchased with my comission and sets i've earned free or been bought as gifts. The way I look at it is I'm building my business and you have to spend money to make it. I Try to buy a wide range of accessories, stamps,and what not .I can't show how great our products are if I don't have them to show. All my supplies are in my corner in the bedroom right where he can see them. For years he collected sport memoribilia and we invested tons into it but he made money in return. Now he sells a wide range of stuff on e-bay (nothing stamping related i'd have to have it first.) He has found me some really good deals on a few stamp sets. (water color garden for 2.00) . So he has his pile of stuff and I have mine. I'm a sahm of 5 ranging from 3-17 do tons for all of them and this is the only thing i do for myself. We have a wonderful marriage and He only wants what's best for me the same as I do for him.
Re: some women don't have understanding/supportive dh's
Quote:
Originally Posted by londonrain
...if I get hospitalized or die and he sees the bills and cleans out my stamp room he'll know and be disappointed in me. Is that silly or what?
I can't wait until I get a chance to clean out my husband's piles and piles of junk. He has our garage stacked floor to ceiling on three walls and there is barely enough room for me to pull my car in there. His "cave" is also floor to ceiling JUNK that he won't let me go through and organize. He has way more junk than I have stamps and supplies. AND I keep mine organized.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sewscrappy
I think there are many women who for one reason or another feel guilty enjoying themselves with this type of hobby... I venture to say, stay at home moms are on the top of that list...
SAHM. I definitely feel guilty about spending money on myself.
My husband leaves EVERYTHING up to me, all the housework inside & out, taking care of the kids and paying the bills. The ONLY thing he does around here besides make piles of dirty dishes is to iron his own shirts.
I made up the budget for the next two months, making sure all the bills were paid on time, plenty of money for groceries and a "lunch and fun allowance" for him and his comment was, "I see you've spent my money. What have you done with yours? How much did you make this month?" I get very mixed signals from him. He says that he likes to keep me happy and is glad that I can stamp, but he seems resentful of the time I spend away doing workshops and very often implies that I don't spend enough time taking care of the kids or cleaning the house. Issues . . .
Back to the point, all of my stamps are in a cabinet in the laundry room and he walks past them every morning. He knows that I've paid for all of my stamps with my demonstrator money AND I've paid bills or bought groceries with the extra money.
Do I feel guilty? YES! I wonder if I tend overcompensate on my stamp orders because I feel like I'm left with the major load of work around here, and wondering about that adds to my guilt. I NEVER buy a new stamp set without a specific plan for using it at future workshops and stamp camps. Most of my SU! orders are for supplies for upcoming workshops.
Did I just totally hijack the thread? I've spent the day pouting and lurking about SCS. Comments on this thread seemed to touch on all the things I've been thinking about.
OK, so to more precisely answer the questions, I don't hide anything. It is all in plain sight.
__________________ Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels. -Faith Whittlesey
I haven't read thru all the posts, and have only been stamping for 1 year, so I'm relatively new to all this. HOWEVER, that being said, after my first workshop I signed up to be a demo and haven't looked back!!
My DH said to my Father one time back when I was just starting, that all this "stamping stuff" was driving him crazy. As my Dad pointed out, at least you know where she is - she isn't running around to all the bars or out chasing men - she's at home doing something that she loves. My DH responded, "Yeah, but will she come visit me when I'm in the nut house?" My response was, "Maybe not, but I can send you a really cool card while you're in there!!!"
So, IMHO, I really don't think it matters how many stamps your DH knows about, just that fact that he knows where to find you is what counts!!!
My DH built shelves for my stamps. He definatley knows how many stamps I have. He even helps me pick them out when we go shopping if he's with me. When hes not with me I am excited to show him the new products that I buy when I get home. He supports my many hobbies and sometimes even helps me journal in my scrapbooks. He also helped make our invitations for our wedding and our first childs baby announcements. I am very lucky to have such a supportive DH in my life. Although, I have to say it goes both ways. I completley support him with his hobbies as well (Computer and Biking) neither my hobbies nor his are cheap.
Re: Does your hubby know how many stamps you have?
Quote:
Originally Posted by londonrain
I'm not trying to start anything here, but I read alot on here about hiding how much you spend or how many stamps you own from your hubby. I'm really truely curious of how and/or why?
I know we all joke about it, but do you really hide stuff? If so why did you marry somebody you can't be honest with?
A good reason to be honest? I figure if I get hospitalized or die and he sees the bills and cleans out my stamp room he'll know and be disappointed in me. Is that silly or what?
That is not silly at all. It's best to be honest. My hubby knows I have a lot, he doesn't really care though because I don't spend the household money on it since I am a demo. I don't think he would mind even if I wasn't a demo, as long as I am using it and enjoying it.
He hasn’t counted them and I don’t think he cares to but he has a general idea, after all we live in the same house and I don’t hide anything. He comes in and sits to talk when I’m working (playing) or sometimes uses the computer in this room.
I don’t complain about his power tools and neither of us spends money just to be spending. I do buy a lot of my stamps used or with a sale coupon. I also have a nice supply of Stampin Up sets that I bought or put on my Christmas and birthday list. I have a nice order coming next week and free sets too!
The majority of my supplies used for the charities I send to are donated from a printing shop so I can afford to splurge when I want to. I worked and earned money and now it’s time for me to enjoy myself and I’m going to. I love to do for others and stamping is my way of being able to do so.
Michelle said “Sometimes I think I am married to heaven!�? and I’m wondering what she’s doing with my husband! I got heaven on earth to Michelle. He brings me things he finds in case I can use it for stamping. That reminds me he forgot to show me his drywall tape today! I have to go now.
I have a wonderfully supportive husband, but right in the beginning when I started selling I took $X dollars, started my business and a business bank account, and since then everything has been seperate, so even though I spend a lot of money on stamps and "necessaries", he knows that it all comes out of my SU account, so he couldn't really complain even if he wanted to! I tell him how much I earn from my "hobby" each month, and he almost gets as excited as I do about that ...
__________________ School days are the happiest days of your life, provided of course, your kids are old enough to go!!
My husband certainly knows I have a ton of stamps and the stuff that goes along. He may not know the exact number of stamp sets...but hey, I don't know that number either. We have been married 26 years, both have full-time jobs, and seperate checking accounts. We each pay a portion of our household expenses which leaves any remainder to our individual discretion. This arrangement has helped to keep money a non-issue in our marriage....whether it's buying stamps, tools, beanie babies, antique radios (he has over 100 now) or whatever. I'm a firm believer that, when it comes to marriage, it's whatever works.
__________________ -- Susy V
Beginning the journey...4.8 lbs down
He better know - they are on the long counter between the kitchen and the dining room! If he can't see them, he needs his eyes checked!
I don't hid things from my husband, financial or otherwise. I would not want him to hid anything from me.
My SIL, however, will hold back cash from her job and she will write a check for one amount, usually about $30, and give me $100 in cash for the rest. HER husband is clueless about what she spends, but not about how many sets she has. He has no idea what all this stuff costs.
I think my hubby knows...they are kind of out in plain view...he periodically threatens to dump them all together in one big box and laugh as I spend days sorting them out....but then he owns every Civil War book published since....well...since the Civil War....the books have their own room just like the Stamps...but then we don't have kids...we also have separate checking accounts, and divide up the bills....but each couple has to do what works for them...I think people in relationships should have money that they are not held accountable for to their partner... now I don't mean spend huge $$$ at the bar or on illegal activities...but be able to shop Iwithin reason} or have a hobby...but again..couples need to work out what works best for them.
Yes, my DH knows, they are all out for him to see if he chooses. I don't really hide things. But, I do put a bag in a corner, or beside my desk that may stay there for a while before it gets put it away.
He's now, finally, past the point of you have too many stamps. Just last week he said that I can do what I want, stamping, swapping, etc. as long as I make 1 extra card for him to put in a box. Then whenever he wants to send a card, he can choose one from the box.
On the other hand, I go to work and make the money and support the family. He stays home and cleans, cooks, does the laundry, home schools our children, etc. He's very supportive of me having a creative outlet for stress.
As far as the "hiding is bad" feeling, we are all in a different situation and no two are alike. What's bordering on dishonesty in one relationship is a lifeline in another. Thankfully, this forum is here for us to all support each other.
Since we are presently living in a tiny rental cabin, my whole family knows how many stamps and accessaries I have. Just before we moved, I was having "premature separation anxiety" from my toys. I could not decide what to take with us and what to put in storage. My DH told me to bring it all!!! I brought most of it. Now my son says that the best thing about moving is that Mom will have her own stamping room and we will again have a kitchen counter! I am very fortunate to have such a great husband. Maybe he had he knew what he was doing when he insisted that in our new house I have my own room. We should move in sometime in March. I am so excited.
My husband certainly knows I have a ton of stamps and the stuff that goes along. He may not know the exact number of stamp sets...but hey, I don't know that number either. We have been married 26 years, both have full-time jobs, and seperate checking accounts. We each pay a portion of our household expenses which leaves any remainder to our individual discretion. This arrangement has helped to keep money a non-issue in our marriage....whether it's buying stamps, tools, beanie babies, antique radios (he has over 100 now) or whatever. I'm a firm believer that, when it comes to marriage, it's whatever works.
This is what my husband and I used to do. We fought from day 1 of our marriage about money until this arrangement. And it worked so beautifully...until we moved and I gave up my job & nice salary. So now, he's the one working full time & I only have a little part-time job which is helping with the bills. So now, we're back to square one, fighting about money again. I'll admit it...I've been sneaky about buying stuff lately, since we've gone from living very comfortably with our big northeast salaries, to living in the south with beautiful weather, more house for your buck, but very meager paychecks.
Looks like its time to get out the want-ads to shut him up & give myself my freedom back.
My DH will occasionally walk into my Scrapbook/Stamping room and shake his head and say "LOOK at all of this STUFF"! LOL I recently signed up to be a demo and he said I would be bringing truckloads of more stuff in here!
Actually, he doesn't give me a hard time about it. He doesn't quite understand it, but he always compliments if I show him a card I made.
I quit my job of 26 years last August to stay home and I have to be a little more selective than I used to be which made signing up all that more important!
Cathy
I have a funny story about this. My very first Stampin' Up party was at one of his work friend's house. Before the party, he told me to enjoy myself and buy whatever I wanted. Although I didn't know it, he had also told his friend that he didn't have to worry much because I was cheap! Of course women talk and the whole conversation came out during the party. Let's just say I may have become a little less cheap that day. :lol: Anyway about a month later I signed up and when the shipments started coming to our house he actually thought for a while they were all for me! We had a good laugh about that one. All in all, he is very supportive of my hobby and likes it that I have something that I enjoy. (Although I always wonder if he does wish he had kept his mouth shut to his friend in the very beginning!)
My DH used to say things like "oh let me guess, more new stamps" when a box came.
He started getting a bit feisty about it, so it was time to pull out the "alternate math skills"......Beer Math and Tool Math.
For those who don't know what this means, here's an example.
Him: "You're spending a lot of money on stamps"
Me: "This entire box was less than your last tool purchase"
Him: "Oh, OK"
OR
Him: "Are those MORE new stamps?"
Me: "I got you beer today. Did you know that this set cost the same amount as your case of beer?"
Him: "Well that's not too much then, is it?" ;)
He has expensive hobbies like woodworking...fishing and hunting.
I have one hobby....crafting. Which, like woodworking, requires a LOT of tools!
He loves that it keeps me happy, and I love that his hobbies keep him happy too.
__________________ ~Debbi~
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. ~Author Unknown
I don't hide anything he can't find.He can see and open cabinets and go through anything at anytime.so Wether I might feel like it's hidden it's not.It's certainly not under lock and key.
He buys what he wants and he's a golfer.and has his own workshop that is full of tools.that of course he doesn't use.the work shop anyway.or put back where they belong.but he does golf a lot.so he spends more than enough money on clothes and golf memberships.
So at least if he ask me about my stamping stuff I can at least say I use it.And I have stuff to show for it.
Julie you were funny I had to LOL.at what you said about If I were to die he would have to go through my stuff and I wouldn't care.Mine would be more than happy to get rid of it.
Don't get me wrong he like the results but still thinks i have way to much.
__________________ WHAT IS A STAMPPIN ADDICT!
It's someone who buys stamps they didn't normally like at first,only to see it in Split Coast Stampers gallery in a different perspective.
A better question would be..."Do I know how many stamps I have?"
My DIL and DD have been the recipients of my purchase doubles in the past and give me quite a hard time about my stash. My DIL got me a "stamp-a-log" to keep track. After I filled that she still talks about the numbers...lol. SOOOOO...I became a SU demo and now I have an excuse to have it all and pay for my addiction with my SU earnings.
My hubby sort of knows and is my first line of " hey, how's this one?"
He actually has a very artistic view of paper arts. And then there's his toys....golf, fly fishing, guitars.......
So, to my DIL, aka "Bob Marley".....yes, my hubby, (your FIL), knows and your DH (my wonderful son with great taste in choosing a wife) knows the sad secret of his mother's addiction. Although now I'm acquiring lots of baby type scrapping stamps so I can do proper justice to that beautiful new granddaughter you and DS gave me.
__________________
Kathy Hill - Stampin' Up! Demonstrator SCS member #549 My Gallery "Let your little light shine...."
Yes my husband knows how many I have. Good grief, we're both tripping all over the stuff throughout the house. Since I've been making cards to send to our nephews unit in Iraq he's been encouraging me to buy stuff!! I do get eyebrows raised when we go to stamp conventions with all the stuff there I want to come home with, but when he mentions that I have to carry it all and push a wheelchair, I kind of settle down.. :oops: There have been times when I've put stuff back on the shelf thinking I'm spending too much, and he picks it off the shelf and puts it in a basket or something saying "he doesn't want to hear all about what I left behind". He loves to look at the new catalog that comes out just to see what's in it, then don't show him the catalog again unless I've given him a wish list for my birthday and anniversary. He lets the kids shop for stamps for mom and then he shops somewhere else.
Since we've been married for 14 yrs, with him disabled 8 of those and me stamping 7 of those 8, were still married and doing ok. He knows when his medical bills start coming in, I stop shopping, so he lets me have some fun while I can. :?
If you asked my DH how many sets I have his answer would be "Too Many". But does he know exactly how many little clear plastic boxes grace my craft closet? No. Does he really care? Not Really. He enjoys the fact that I enjoy myself and that is fine with both of us.
FYI - the set count is now probably over 30! :lol:
__________________ XOXO- Cyn
"I have dreamed in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind."Emily Bronte
I don't see how he could know how many stamps I have as I don't know how many stamps I have. I started to stamp each one into a three ring binder so that I could sort out duplicates to give to my card exchange group's white elephant exchange but I gave up when I counted 1200 stamped images. That was a couple of years and a lot of purchases ago. All my DH knows is that my crafting has taken over the guest bedroom, the dining room, the living room, the family room and the kitchen :!:
yes my DH knows how many stamps and things I have, and I am always so excited to show him anything new I might buy and what it can do! He is so supportive of my stamping hobby and since I am a stay at home mum he loves to see me have something "for me" that I enjoy.
In saying that, I always make sure bills are paid, there is food on the table, and kids are clothed before I go and get something craft related. Sometimes, if there is something in particular I want I will save for it and buy when I can!
All in all, I am honest and upfront with my DH just as he is with me and it works a treat!
Aussie Karen
Ditto here for me....except the stay at home mom thing. We don't have kids yet. At that time...I'll cut back.
I only read the first page of posts. I have said this before and everyone esle is saying the same thing. I have my hobbies and he has his. I told him that the difference is that I nickel and dime us monthly and he makes LARGE purchases a couple of times a year. His purchases sometimes hurt us because they are so large. Last year he bought a brand new motorcyle. It was a little over 10,000. But of course then he had to get some saddle bags, later came a new seat (oh yeah, I forgot that was for "me"), then new pegs (for me again, I would rather have had stamps), then a new riding jacket, new helmets, and then a light kit. But in his mind it is for "US" so that we can ride together. I have three kids.... who is he kidding. You can't take three kids on a motorcycle. Maybe I should tell him that stamping is for 'US'. That I want him to do it with me. Think that would work? :lol: Ok, then just after Christmas he bought a new cell phone. One of those Treo's that is a PDA as well. After it and all the accessories he spent around $600. Then he added $20 a month for internet services. I'm not anywhere near his spending. And that's just the motorcycle and the phone. That doesn't include tools and other hobbies.
When I was a kid my mom would buy stuff (usually Tupperware) and hide it under my bed for a month. Then she would take it out. When my step dad asked if it was new she could honestly say she had it for a while. I never hide my purchases from my husband. I think hiding it is wrong. But, I don't tell him everything either. I use my own account. We took a class called Financial Peace University a couple of years back. We both have our own blow money that we can 'blow' on anything we want. I put my blow money straight into my SU account usually. Then I use the money that I make from workshops. He can see everything I have but has NO idea how much I've spent. I'm not worried about it though, not until I hit the 10,000 mark.
__________________ Angie
Mother of three wonderful children (Brayton-17 months, Brianna- 5 & Kyle-eight) and one grown man (my DH).
I thought my DH was clueless about it all. Honestly. He has his "things" and stamping is mine.
We were at my downline's house for dinner and my hubby was chit chatting with her fiance and goofing on the two stamping addicts. I wasn't really paying much attention then I hear my DH say, "Yeah, and you know it's a NEW set when she hasn't cut it apart yet."
:shock:
So, he's on to me! But, it's all goodnatured and I'm lucky he is supportive. As long as he hasn't actually counted them......
My husband doesn't know, but he also doesn't care. I think he would be shocked if he did know how many I have, but he still wouldn't care. I'm lucky! I do have a friend who has an entire room and several closets dedicated to storing her stamps, supplies, etc. However, she ALWAYS hides her purchases from her husband. Does she really think that he doesn't know she's buying supplies?????
My DH definetly knows. He brought most of it to me when I was in the nursing home after my stroke. Box upon box. I had a truely horrendous mess when I came home after inpatient physical re-hab. I came home the end of Oct., and I have only seen the table top once since. And most of it was in boxes on the floor.I got some great shelves for Christmas, I'm still figuring out what goes where, so I make a mess everytime I stamp. I sometimes hide purchases from him, until I find a place for it, not because of how much I've spent, but for how much space it takes!
Edited: He just called from town, he's trading in our Explorer on an F-150 pickup! I make a lot of little purchases, he makes just a few HUGE ones!
__________________ Happy Stampin',Charisma
When my children complain, I remind them "If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off!" My itty-bitty SCS Gallery
