Does your hubby know how many stamps you have?

[londonrain]

I'm not trying to start anything here, but I read alot on here about hiding how much you spend or how many stamps you own from your hubby. I'm really truely curious of how and/or why?
I know we all joke about it, but do you really hide stuff? If so why did you marry somebody you can't be honest with?
A good reason to be honest? I figure if I get hospitalized or die and he sees the bills and cleans out my stamp room he'll know and be disappointed in me. Is that silly or what?

[stampcrazyjulie]

Does my DH know how many stamps I really have? Probably, but he does not let on & I sure as heck do not offer up the info! My DH does what he wants with his money, so I figure I can do what I want as well! My excuse is that stamps will last forever, & we have 3 children I can pass them on to or I can resell them down the road.

As for the honesty thing....I figure what he doesn't know is best sometimes. As in all marriages there are always a few secrets! :twisted:

I could careless if something happened to me & he had to clean up my stamp room & see what I have. Heck yeah he'd be suprised, but hey I have to put up with alot from him too!

Just my 2 cents worth!!

Julie

[sewscrappy]

I think there are many women who for one reason or another feel guilty enjoying themselves with this type of hobby...

I venture to say, stay at home moms are on the top of that list...

there are just so many things in a family that 'stamping stuff' money could be spent on....

I don't think it is always 'fear of anger' so much as dh's just don't care, in the since that we don't always 'care' about what type of bait they are buying to go fishing.

Most women (not counting those that actively fish alongside their dh) do not go digging around in their dh's tackle box, looking at how many baits they have, what kind they are and how much they cost. And let's face it, tackle boxes are not usually found lying around like stamping stuff is.

many women feel the need to justify what they do and why whereas a man doesn't have that emotional connection to his hobby...it's a logical decision to him....he needs this type of bait for this type of fish, that kind for the other and although he may shop around, he gets what he 'needs' without getting 'worried' about what his wife would say. it goes in the tackle box, and then in the boat or shed and comes out when it's time to go fishing...no attachment.

most stampers buy the stuff, wanting to start using it right away but may have to set it aside until they have 'time' ... yet it may end up on the counter top or desk top or kitchen table in PLAIN site for everyone to see and keep noticing. The stamper feels a need to 'justify' it, while the spouse sees something bought, not used, maybe even not needed - remember, men think logically "couldn't you use something you already have?" may be running though his mind while the women is thinking, "gosh! I hope he doesn't pay attention to that stuff...I don't know how to explain my need for it, my desire, why I bought that instead of some new undies, etc!"

I think many of us shock ourselves when we actually 'go through' what we have! Hasn't everyone, at one time or another, bought something they already had?

We just need to find a hobby our spouse has and relate stamping to it and maybe we could be less emotional about it!

[stamper272001]

yes my DH knows how many stamps and things I have, and I am always so excited to show him anything new I might buy and what it can do! He is so supportive of my stamping hobby and since I am a stay at home mum he loves to see me have something "for me" that I enjoy.

In saying that, I always make sure bills are paid, there is food on the table, and kids are clothed before I go and get something craft related. Sometimes, if there is something in particular I want I will save for it and buy when I can!

All in all, I am honest and upfront with my DH just as he is with me and it works a treat!


Aussie Karen

[jewellz300]

NO he doesn't know how many I REALLY have,But I don't ask my DH how many tools or fishing reels he has either.....it works both ways.
We choose our hobbies, mine is stamps, by choice.

[pinkhedgehog]

I liked the theory about justifying our purchases, and getting emotional about it. You never see guys in the tool department saying, "but it's sooooo cute!"

Also, stamps do cost a lot, and the little extras add up. I used to get angry when DH would spend money on things that I think are stupid, more and more tools, oodles of Pine Wood Derby stuff, scary movies. My vice...stamping and scrapbooking, I spend money on that.

So, I saw an idea somewhere years and years ago when we were still in college. Give yourselves an allowance. Both of you agree on the amount Each of you gets money to spend on whatever you want...no questions asked. Plus sometimes I sell stuff on ebay or sell my old stamps, and I use that $ also. My hubby can see everything I have, I'm not hiding, but neither do I keep a running tally of what I've spent. I'd rather not know.

It's not a matter so much of hiding what I have, just not telling. Plus most of the stamps actually hold their value, so they're an investment....right....?

[MGM Grand]

This is so funny since I am reorganizing my scraproom and have discovered once and for all all the stamps that I do own! I even surprised myself!! I used to have them in several spots but I can tell you now that all my stamps are in one spot my DH would probably gasp. He has never asked what I spent and to honest I don't even want to know the total either! I can tell you I will sewing adorable little curtains to cover up the stamp sets this weekend while he out paying $75 to play golf!!!!

[Candykane]

To be honest my hubby could care less on how many stamps I have and he never questions how much I spend since I am the one who does the checkbook. It's like he makes the money and I hand him allowance, I pay the bills and take care of everything else and as long as I am reasonable he doesn't say anything about me buying stamps or anything else. So if I do want something though his famous quote is, "If you want something get it" so yes I am a little spoilt by him, but hey I am a stay at home mom and college student so I work hard and I deserve what I want I think a stay at home mom doesn't make enough, just think of all the jobs I do, I am a full-time maid, babysitter, secretary, lawn care service, car maintenance, mom, student, wife, cook, chauffer and I could probably go on. I do everything so therefore I deserve my stamps that make me happy. And yes it's always good to keep the wife happy I don't see the point in hiding anything and if it is your hobby, then what's the big deal. My hubby seems to do his own thing while I do my own thing. We get along pretty good.

[londonrain]

Its fun to think what we all stash away so we don't scare our hubbies. I don't keep a running tally either, but was more referring to those that deliberatly "hide" things.
I have my own stamp room and just tell my DH not to look, he'd faint I think, but at least bills are paid, etc.

[TamIAm]

You know, even when we first got married, were poor as church mice, working full time and barely making the rent, we each still found enough money to put aside for a cheapie date and our personal hobby. We agreed that we needed special treats to make life worth living and having our own hobbies helped keep us sane, lol.

I was reading the "justification" post a moment ago and flashbacked on about a year ago when I lost my job to cut-backs and we decided that I would become a SAHM. From that moment on I had a hard time justifying anything for myself. But it was DH who sat me down one day when I was fried from not doing anything for me and talked to me. We talked about what I liked to do and why I didn't want to spend the money. He made me see the light, that yes, I do way more now than I did when I worked full-time. So, he said I deserved to have something to keep me happy too.

Granted, that was before I discovered stamping (I was in a scrapping dry spell at the time). LOL. I do show him almost everything that comes in, but it's not hidden either so he can see it all the time. I did get raised eyebrows a while back when six packages were sitting on our doorstep via mail service, haha--all stamps sets. But he knows I take care of the groceries and school stuff, clothing and whatnot first so he's fine with it.

Thank goodness!

Tam

[baronsmom]

Mine walks by my "wall of rubber" at least 4 times a day, so yes, he knows how many stamps I have, BUT he doesn't know the total worth of them......yet. I'm thinking I better call our insurance agent soon.

[Vee]

we need to call our insurance agent anyway due to the new digital camera equipment and computer to do the photo stuff on so I should probably add the stamps and the kiteboard gear......You think stamping is expensive try kite boarding! 800$ for a new board, $1200 for the new kite, new wetsuit $200,.........Speaking of wetsuit! HE has about a ton of diving stuff too! We tried finding hobbies we could enjoy together and only found gardening and fixing up old houses, we can't do wither out here on this tropical island so we have taken up new hobbies! Power to hobbies!

[Stampin Wrose]

Some marriages deteriorate over time and then spending can be seen as revenge.... but if I were going to do that, it wouldn't be with stamps. LOL

My stamps are all out in the open in the dining room.

Men are definitely logical, at least mine is (engineer), so my best best is truth and sensible purchasing.

Honestly, it's a balancing act - I'm married almost 19 years and still happy and surprised; I think I'm pretty lucky.

I think Candace hit the nail on the head too.

[stampingcaz]

My hubby certainly knows how my stamps I have, I am always excted to get them so show him. I dont say "hey here are all the stamps I just got and they cost me ££" he knows stamps are dear.

Up until a month ago he was smoking 20 a day, he doesnt now, so I dont have that excuse LOL But he does go out to the pub on a friday night and spend just as much as my monthly stamp sprees. But again I really dont have much of a clue how much he does spend on these as he doesnt say "hey I just spent £££ down the pub and the curry house" LOL

Caz

[arcopes]

Nope...but I don't think he could tell one set from another...

But then again, I can't tell one wrench from another...and I don't know how many he has, either.

We both spend on what we love, and give each other the freedom to do so.

Works for us.

A.

[GavynnsMom]

Mine knows and he has absolutely no problem with it. I support his habits and he supports mine :lol:

Joy

[HB]

Like Baronsmom, I too have a "wall of rubber". My DH semi rolls his eyes when I tell him I need another shelf, but I know it's just in jest. My craft room (the family calls it the "crap room") is open for all to see and as long as I don't spend all my waking hours in there, I'm good to go.
I'm truely a lucky girl!
Carol

[pigfingers]

I certainly hope not, LOL! Well to be honest, my DH probably has seen me with my stamp drawers open to see what I have, and he has remarked on more than one occasion that I have too much, but in answer to your question, I don't "flaunt" it to him if that it what you mean --

My DH has a very uncomfortable relationship with money. By that, I mean he freaks out over every penny that is spent on certain things -- i.e. some would consider him cheap, LOL.

He has never had money, while I on the other hand, am used to having money. I don't think twice about grocery shopping, but he actually remembers every price of stuff and will freak if I buy soup when it is not on sale -- ask him, when he gets home from grocery shopping he freakily knows what he spent on everything, it is sad, but his mother is the SAME WAY -- they had this conversation the other day about how expensive cauliflower was -- it was like $2.00 for a head, and I was like WHAT?? Are you kidding me that you are having a fit about buying a freaking head of cauliflower?

Anyway, I digress -- I said he has a fit about CERTAIN things -- food being one of them. Can you imagine what he would do if he added up all the stamps I owned? Mind you I bought them all when I was a demo and i have the paperwork to show that I bought them with commission money, so there wasn't a dime of our money that I spent, but still I can just hear the ranting about hundreds of dollars that we could be spending on something else instead, LOL!

[Joan B]

Yes, he does. However, I was overwhelmed with the amount of stuff I purchased last year and the year before that I never used. So, from Jan - April1, I'm buying nothing, zip, nada.

It has been hard, because this craft spending is a bit of a compulsion -- there is always an amazing sale, new product, etc. that we just HAVE to have. Well, I have ghost charms, dozens of blank cards and oodles of paper, ribbon galore, shrink plastic, UTEE, melting pot, radient pearls, twinkling H2os, die cut cardboard pumpkins, cirlce and oval cutters, sizzix, markers, inks, stamps, all sorts of glues, xyron machine, paints, etc. so I figure it was time to take a break. I found gingham ribbon in my stuff (no memory of buying it!!), embossing supplies, punches, etc. The list is endless.

I highly recommend it. It will help you get back to creating and not shopping and also you will find things that you never knew you had!

[Cat]

Quote:

Originally Posted by londonrain

...if I get hospitalized or die and he sees the bills and cleans out my stamp room he'll know and be disappointed in me. Is that silly or what?

Not silly. But this is what concerns me: I don't want him looking in my stamp/scrap room and saying "Toss all this junk". I want his to know the value of my craft so he can give it away or sell it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sewscrappy

I think there are many women who for one reason or another feel guilty enjoying themselves with this type of hobby... I venture to say, stay at home moms are on the top of that list...

I agree with a lot of what sewscrappy said - I don't spend a lot of money on myself, and I always consider and reconsider my spending when I do. My husband (I'm sure!) doesn't "worry" about his spending like I do. We have the money (enough so were not scrimpy on the groceries) so I shouldn't worry... but I just do. He knows that I spend money on my craft - he usually doesn't ask me about it because he knows that I'm frugal and buy what I need/want and not just everything.

[Stampinstalker]

My DH sees what I have, don't know if he realizes how many I have. I'm not hiding them. What he doesn't know is how much $$$$ I have involved. Sometimes I feel gulity, but it passes I am a SAHM, but I work hard, the house is always clean, dinner on the table, kids taken care of....you get the point. Anyways, it's something I enjoy doing when I have time :( I figure I dont' smoke drink gamble etc. I also think about what I spent on cards before I stamped. His tools cost more than mine even though he buys them less frequently than I do. He would die if he know what I had invested in them.

[jcrowl50]

Does my husband know? Yes, and when he did the taxes he told me "This is great -- you get a great hobby, you can pay for part of it through you demoing! I really like that and you're having fun."

Talk about supportive. I am truely greatful. We have had issues but this is not one of the them. By the way, he is an engineer, too, and so things are pretty black and white through his eyes. LOL :lol:

[jcrowl50]

Does my husband know? Yes, and when he did the taxes he told me "This is great -- you get a great hobby, you can pay for part of it through you demoing! I really like that and you're having fun."

Talk about supportive. I am truely grateful We have had issues but this is not one of the them. By the way, he is an engineer, too, and so things are pretty black and white through his eyes. LOL :lol:

[Soozie4Him]

Maybe I'm the only one whose DH does *not* spend money on himself! He doesn't have any expensive hobbies - he plays tennis once a week and that costs a little bit, but not much. Before I was buying stamps, I was buying Christian books and Christian music (I still do, but maybe not so much because I haven't read/listened to all that I have! :lol: ). Actually, before I was buying stamps, I bought scrapbooking stuff - I have a lot of letter stickers that I'll probably never use. :oops:

DH is very busy working at his regular job, then spends untold hours making sure his elderly parents' and elderly uncle' affairs are in order. He manages all their financial stuff, after making sure they got into the facility where they can get the care they need. Even though they're settled there, there is still a lot of care from afar that we give them (they live 2 hours away). Our kids are grown now, and we're having a wedding this summer - my #2 DD. We spend a lot of time with the kids and are very thankful that our family continues to love to be together.

Occasionally he buys a book for himself, but I can't say "He has his expensive hobby and I have mine." He is supportive of my stamping and my SU demo'ship, even though I'm not making any money at this point. My "studio" is in my oldest DD's bedroom (she's been married 3 years now) and he's happy for me that I enjoy it so much. I have all my SU stamp sets arranged in bins on my LONG 8' table, and they're all labeled with labels I printed out when I became a demo shortly after I got the new catty. The labels have the set name, catalog number, price, page number, number of stamps, etc. So it would be easy for him (or anyone else) to add up - but I *do* get a discount, of course, and lots of freebies.

He's still amazed at how excited people get when they come to our house for a Stamp Camp - he couldn't believe that I was going to "ask people to buy things", but he didn't know that people would *love* to buy things and have fun.

Anyway, enough rambling for now, but I just wanted to share a different perspective...

Susan

[Siberian Stamper]

Hello all,
it was fun reading on this topic :o) I moved to the States from Russia where craft supplies don't exist and almost passed out on my first visit to Michael's... I started to buy all kinds of stationery, cards, punches and so on... Then came my stamping craze :o) I work, therefore I deserve to spend on myself - especially if it's something I like :o)
My husband has his own hobby and we always encourage each other to add to our collections when money permits :o) We have a very happy relationship and support each other as much as we can... After all, who needs 6 TVs or 3 PCs when you can buy a new stamp set or a new Star Trek book??? There is always a choice of saving, too :o) I am saving for my SU starter kit as I decided to be a demo...
Oh, did I ever mention I can't stand cheap people??? I'm from a very generous background, so...

[chef2die4]

My DH and I have an agreement--he has his "allowance" and I have mine, and we don't ask how we spend it--if he spends his on books or beer, and I spend mine on stamps or housepaint (I am a compulsive painter--can't stand to have a room the same color for more than a year or so...), then as long as we don't go over budget, who cares? Works for us, unless I go over budget :oops:

As far as him knowing how much I have tied up in stamps and supplies, he doesn't really care, as long as --repeat after me-- I DON'T GO OVER BUDGET!!!!! (do you hear a marital issue here )

[rachelbenj]

My husband is pretty good about it. A couple of months ago we went to another couple's house from church. I was talking about my love for scrapbooking and stamping. The other husband piped up and said that his wife wasn't going to spend money on that "stuff". He said something to my husband about realizing how much that stuff costs. My husband told him to lighten up. He said that I love what I do and that I have something to show for my hobby when I am done. This other guy (let's call him "Jerk" for fun) just bought a $6,000 snow mobile and sees nothing wrong with that. He also has hunting gadget upon hunting gadget and fishing gadget upon fishing gadget, but won't let his wife scrapbook or stamp. I'm just thankful that my guy is so good about it. He sees how much I have, but he probably doesn't realize how much $$$ is involved :P . I don't think he would care if he did. It is all there in the open for him to see. No hiding going on here. By the way, he has a couple of expensive hobbies too.

Everybody "needs" a hobby. That is my philosophy.

[busystampinjen]

My husband "knows" but has never counted. (Me either for that matter.) Can I count that high? LOL When I do earn free stuff, and get excited about free stamp set - his comment, "Oh good, another stamp! When do we get to go to Maui." Ha!

[bacline2]

NO! He doesn't want to know how many I really have. He knows that I have a lot and that is good enough for him!!!

Bobbie

[Lorstamps]

Confession time for me...I am a "hider" - right now my Xyron and Longaberger hat box are in the bottom of my closet. My husband flips everytime a box comes to the house.

Problem is, he has NO hobbies that cost money. He finds things that people throw out and brings them home. I WISH I could get him interested in some type of a hobby (like golf) where he could get out and enjoy something. His father was very much the same way - he ended up old and alone and all he did was think 24 hours a day about stuff.

My husband did buy some woodworking tools (cheap) from a friend about 12 years ago. They've been in our garage or basement, but are hidden by so much other stuff, that he has never used them. I need to get him going on that hobby (maybe he can make me some storage shelves!) - then we can work on something together.

For the record - I hate having to keep things from my husband, but I know that if he really knew what I was spending, he'd make my life miserable. I work and make more $ than he does, our kids are grown - only one in college now, so I feel that I have a right to my "habits". I really need to get my business (I'm a demo) off the ground. Then maybe he would be a little more understanding.

[Erin in Okc]

I believe in complete honesty. I wouldn't ever want to try to hide anything from my dh. We have an monthly allowance with which we spend on whatever we like. Dh usually saves his for something huge. I usually spend mine on stamps/scrapbooking items.
I like our arrangement, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

[Jenmouer]

ha ha ha - he knows how much stuff I have...in fact I pushed him into getting a hobby himself so he wouldn't grumble about how much I spent on my hobby...

We each get an "allowance" each month and we have no say is now we each spend it...

On the flip side I made all the gifts for his co-workers (he supervises 8 women - they each got a stamped candle and a ornament and DH gave them a gift certificate to a local sandwich shop for lunch on him one day) and I have to whip up cards for him at a moments (ok a day) notice when he needs one...just the other day he asked me when i was going to make our Easter cards for him to send to his family....

so even though I spend the money - he gets something out of it...so he supports me..

He even wants to try and install some track lighting in my stamp n scrap corner so I have more light - he is a sweetie (of course he has taken over 1/2 of our garage for his hobby - hunting and sport shooting - nothing like pulling into your garage to see turkey butt hanging on the wall)

[catlady1]

Hi everyone, I love this one. My husband sees my stuff all the time but he doesn't know how much is invested. Every time I show him what I've made he says "how nice, I'm glad you enjoy doing your crafts". He has his boat and motor and fishing stuff so I'd have to have a lot of supplies to add up to that. I've worked all my life so I deserve. I have three grandchildren and they love doing all kinds of crafts so I need lots of supplies, right?

[scrapgirl73]

I don't think my hubby knows how much I really have but I don't hide them either. I really don't know how much stuff he has for his hobby even though I am the one who does the bills. Although my stamp collection comes out of my demo account anyway so I really don't think it matters one way or another is he knows. I don't think it's being dishonest if they don't know how much you have, if he does the bills I am sure he knows... if you do the bills and you pay your real bills first and alow him to spend money as well I don't think it's an issue. I do think it is wrong if you are spending money on them and not paying bills when your hubby thinks you are... just my opinion.

by the way.. hello all this is my first post here.. I love it!

[Beetee]

I certainly don't hide my stamping stuff, but I also don't tell him how much everything costs. If he asks, I tell! He just smiles and says he's happy that I'm happy. And then asks me to make a card for him to send to someone at work or a client. He will come in my craft room to talk to me if we haven't seen/talked to each other that day.

[star2shine]

Yes he does and I know how many toys he has so I don't feel the need to hide it from him. Plus he helps me figure out new and better ways to organize them all.

[sillyscrappergirl]

This thread is histerical. Yes, my hubby knows how much "stuff" I have because he encourages me to buy stuff that I want. So long as our bills are paid and all that jazz. I am a SAHM and college student PLUS, I keep my kids and two others during the day. So, getting some new stamps every now and then, is my reward for surviving all that I have to do every week. My DH is the sweetest.

[StamperedChef]

I dont think that mine really cares. He has his hobby, I have mine. I did tell him the other day how much it would cost to have all the big pads, reinkers and the SU storage container. I think that he was shocked, but due to the fact he had just purchased a new motorcycle he kept his mouth shut. I think it would make me sick if I added up how much $$ it would be for all that I have. But it is so much fun to play with!!!!!

[LaurieR]

My DH and I have a great relationship. He has his hunting and fishing that goes on year 'round, and I have my stamping that goes on year 'round. He knows about all of my stamping stuff. I don't think he has any idea how much I spend, but it doesn't matter. Our bills are paid on time, and there is always a little extra for us. He also tells me that if I want it, I should get it. He is so generous that way!

LaurieR

[stampnmom]

Wow - I have read through all of the posts here and it was very interesting - and my response is - my husband knows I spend money on stamps and scrapbooking - but he really has no idea how much it costs. He does however, like to see all the things I make and asks me who I am going to give the cards to and that kind of stuff. He is very supportive of me. I am a SAHM, but I also work at home part-time, and I pay the bills, so he never sees how much I spend, but as long as the bills are paid, he doesn't care. He really doesn't have a hobby that he spends money on - he is such a sweetie, so hard-working and unselfish. I do feel bad sometimes because I spend money on my crafts, and he just keeps working so hard and never buys anything for himself, but that is just the way he is - and he never complains about my craft room. He likes to come in and look around and see what I've been working on.

In my opinion, it is best to be honest if asked, but if they don't care and don't want to know, what they don't know can't hurt them! I'd tell him what I spent in a heartbeat if I could and if he asked (and if I knew!), but he wouldn't care anyway as long as bills were paid.