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I've got stamped sentiments for just about every holiday occasion, sweet, sentimental, snarky...whatever. What I don't have is a sentiment for my brother's card this year - he lost his wife of many years in November, so the usual cheery stuff just isn't appropriate.
Do any of you have an idea of something I can print out for his card? Doesn't have to rhyme and he's not religious; other than that, I'm open to suggestions and would really appreciate them. Thanks!
__________________ Diana B
-We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all. ~John Hughes
I’m following along because I am in this exact situation. I’m concerned about how to best support him in the grief at holiday time after a loved spouse has passed. What behaviors would be most supportive? To add to the whole question of the card, what other tips have been useful to help a grieving loved one deal with Christmas? While everyone experiences grief personally, what have helpers found to support the people grieving? Maybe establish a new tradition?
It seems like I have to send out this type of card every year. The style and wording doesn't matter as much as just getting a card in the mail so they know they have not been forgotten and that their difficult Christmas is being acknowledged. I make a point to omit words like merry, happy and joy and focus on the ideas that they are not alone and that it's OK not to feel Christmas-y. Last year, Stampin' Up! had a set that says "If a hug were a snowflake, I would send you a blizzard" and "Thinking of you with love." I will use it forever and sold quite a few cards as everyone knows someone who is struggling with illness or death.
Mary Beth
I'd agree with Mary Beth. Christmas cards for recent bereavements (or even not so recent), or where there is a known terminal illness, I steer clear of happy and merry and suchlike. My most-used one is simply Peaceful Wishes, with a hand-written note. But I quite like the "may you find peace in your heart and comfort in your soul" in the Unity Poinsettia with Love set.
As a bereaved I can offer you some suggestions:
I would leave off the usual holiday sentiments.
Send a card with a general holiday image...like a tree or winter scene (or landscape for those in warm climates) or paper layers-not one of people playing in the snow, little cute animals...at least the first few years.
It takes time b/c it is one time a year so we have to go thru it a few times vs say going to the supermarket alone which we have to do every week.
With a thinking of you sentiment. It is clear you mean you are thinking of the person during the holidays.
After that I might write a little note saying like...
You are on my mind at this time of year....hoping you have some peaceful, quiet moments. I know it isn't an easy time for you.
Maybe sending a hug thought if appropriate.
And you can leave it there. That says I have remembered you and I acknowledge this is a difficult time. People think they need to say long things...at least for me, you do not. I am grateful to get it and know you are thinking of me because it is a very lonely time, even when you are surrounded by people. Nothing really distracts you. People think you can be, but no.
On the other hand...if you are in person, you don't want to wonk on about it either. Just give them a hug and a little look and talk about stuff.
Thank you so much, Susie, Cook22, and wavejumper. Your suggestions are very helpful and much appreciated. Susie, I'll be thinking about you, too, this holiday season - it's got to be so hard for anyone in your situation.
__________________ Diana B
-We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all. ~John Hughes
Thank you for all of the helpful suggestions and advice!
A good friend lost her husband the night before Thanksgiving and I've held off on sending her a Christmas card until I could figure out what to write inside.
__________________ Lorraine
Wife to an awesome DH, Mommy to an adorable DS who is on the spectrum for autism, and Twin Sister to Linda
Fortunately I never have a problem with words... I usually run out of space when I write in a card!
On the outside of the card I would still acknowledge that it is Christmas. ‘Thinking of you at Christmas’ ‘thoughts of you at Christmas ‘. It isn’t that he doesn’t know it’s Christmas, and you don’t need to pretend. What you are doing is acknowledging the difficulty of this season for him.
On the inside I would write something along these lines, in fact I would probably hand write the message, not type it. But that’s personal preference.
‘ we/I know that this season will bring a flood of memories to your heart and it will be a difficult time for you. _____ was so very special and it won’t be the same without her. Know that we love you and are thinking of you. May the peace of Christmas fill your heart’
Because I am a Christian, I would add that I am praying for him.
No stamped sentiment....just a handwritten note that conveys your love and support at this time...it doesn't have to be long...just a couple of sentences will do. I'm sure you'll find the right words...
I lost my 21-year old son suddenly in June this year, so this is particularly close to my heart. What I would suggest would be something general, not specifically Christmas and maybe "Peaceful Wishes" or something like that on the front. The inside doesn't need to have a stamped sentiment but a hand-written note saying you are thinking of the person as they navigate this difficult season and that you remember their loved one (state their name) with love.
Us bereaved people (especially parents) like it when people say our loved one's name. It helps us to know that they haven't been forgotten.
Wishing you all a peaceful season from the mum of Matthew, forever 21.
Unity Stamp Company came out with a set this year for just these situations called Joyous Comfort. It may be too late to get one to use this year, but it is always a good set to have on hand since there is always someone grieving at Christmas. Joyous Comfort - Unity Stamp Company
I think I know what I'm getting with my Unity credit that I just won in their Instagram Hop...
But I just made a card for my mom to send to her cousin who just lost her husband. She asked me to put this on the outside/inside of the card.
I asked Lydia Fiedler to reach out to the industry a while back on this very subject. There really is a void, and I think it would be a very popular item.
Stacy, Dina, and dsayers, thanks for pointing me (and others who have found this thread and, sadly, have the same need I do this season) to Unity and Impression Obsession. I'm glad some companies are stepping up to fill an obvious gap in sentiment stamps.
Lorraine and Karren, I'll be thinking about you, too, this tough holiday season - I'm sorry we're in the same boat. And thank you to everyone else who weighed in on this discussion. I knew I would find caring and helpful responses in this forum.
__________________ Diana B
-We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all. ~John Hughes
I too am in that situation. I lost my beloved niece the eve of Christmas eve last year after losing my mom six months earlier and it still seems like yesterday. Don't know what to say in a card to her husband. These posts are helpful.
I have sent Christmas cards without a sentiment on the front and inside I stamp Thinking of You, then I write a note acknowledging this is a difficult time, but we are there if needed and our thoughts are with them. We have had to deal with bereavement at Christmas, and it is nice to receive the cards from friends and family, it helps us deal with sadness and loss.
I am so sad to hear so many are in this boat. (((((hugs)))))) though of course it makes sense in a way with so many people in the world.
Sort of ironically for years we had friends in who were on their own for whatever reason on Christmas Eve. And now that's me too. Right now I cant do it. I cant cook like DH did, nor am I up to it. But maybe next year we can do a potluck. That idea just came to me sitting here.
So many good ideas and stamp suggestions. That Unity set is pretty good.
Diana B, I am very glad you raised this question. This is real life.... SCS knows how to rock out and have a good time, but imho, we shine esp bright in the support dept. I will always be grateful for all the support I got. It is 14 months now, the second holiday rotation, and what was said is very true. Still seems like yesterday.
Again, sending out hugs and warm vibes to everyone hurting...and those who are not too.
I lost my 21-year old son suddenly in June this year, so this is particularly close to my heart. What I would suggest would be something general, not specifically Christmas and maybe "Peaceful Wishes" or something like that on the front. The inside doesn't need to have a stamped sentiment but a hand-written note saying you are thinking of the person as they navigate this difficult season and that you remember their loved one (state their name) with love.
Us bereaved people (especially parents) like it when people say our loved one's name. It helps us to know that they haven't been forgotten.
Wishing you all a peaceful season from the mum of Matthew, forever 21.
My deepest condolences to you and your family. I hope you do find peace and comfort in the loving wishes and thoughts of your family and friends as you remember Matthew this year. Blessings.
When I lost my husband 3 years ago, my favorite sympathy card inside sentiment, was simply, "Wishing you Peace". It just struck me as a perfect sentiment and was just what I needed. And clearly works in a Christmas card as well....
Contrary to what I'd thought in the past, all those sentiments about memories are not what the newly bereaved need...way too hard to handle for quite a while....at least that's the way I felt.
I didn’t read through all the posts, there were so many but when I have time later I will read them, as I would love to see all the beautiful responses.
When my father passed many years ago, I received a card from a friend, who wrote something short but so sweet, I never forgot those words. She wrote, “May the spirit of Christmas help you through this difficult time”. hope that helps.
Long time friends lost their son a few months ago. No photo but I used a cardinal image (from the older Stampin' Up! set Cardinal Christmas) and a stamped sentiment (unknown source, unmounted red rubber) that says ...
A Cardinal is a symbol
Of a loved one who gas passed.
When you see one,
It means they are visiting you.
A hand-written note was included. I addressed it "To all who love and miss Timmy"
I made a card for a similar situation - kept the colours and theme somewhat Christmas-y but no sentiments like "merry Christmas" as I knew the person wouldn't be feeling merry:
I've got stamped sentiments for just about every holiday occasion, sweet, sentimental, snarky...whatever. What I don't have is a sentiment for my brother's card this year - he lost his wife of many years in November, so the usual cheery stuff just isn't appropriate.
Do any of you have an idea of something I can print out for his card? Doesn't have to rhyme and he's not religious; other than that, I'm open to suggestions and would really appreciate them. Thanks!
I lost my husband of 51 years just 3 years ago at this time. I understand.
A few years ago I bought a book "Say It With Style". Here are a couple of suggestions to get you thinking:
1. May your sorrow be softened by the love that still unites you and by the cherished memories you will always carry in your heart.
2. You know you are not alone at this difficult time, and may you feel the comfort and friendship of those who share your loss. Please join us for Christmas dinner.............
I lost my husband of 51 years just 3 years ago at this time. I understand.
A few years ago I bought a book "Say It With Style". Here are a couple of suggestions to get you thinking:
1. May your sorrow be softened by the love that still unites you and by the cherished memories you will always carry in your heart.
2. You know you are not alone at this difficult time, and may you feel the comfort and friendship of those who share your loss. Please join us for Christmas dinner.............
Your brother may join for dinner but not stay too long. Allow him space to handle this his way. It may be difficult to be around all the happiness of gift giving, etc. One thing that helped me was a set of 5 booklets a friend sent. She sent one a month. Perhaps your pastor can guide you.
I agree with Cardmaker2: the 'at Christmas' sentiment can be paired with 'thinking of you', 'with love', or just left as it is, with your own personal greeting written inside. We can't stop Christmas happening each year, so no way should we avoid sending our love and thoughts to someone who has suffered a loss, or is ill, or maybe has lost their job or some other major trauma in their lives.
To my mind, I appreciate a reason to make contact with that person and to let them know they're in my thoughts.
I have found this thread so helpful and inspiring. Thank you for posting.
While these are not specifically holiday themed, Penny Black has several sympathy sets that may also work in combo with other stamps. I have these two but I think there are also others:
Sadly, I am now of an age where I find myself in this situation much more often than in the past. To each of you who have experienced such a profound lost, I wish you peace and hope you find comfort in the company of family and friends.
It's hard for a lot of people this time of year. Generally I make a landscape kind of card - trees, snow, quiet sky, maybe some snowfall, or a nighttime sky, kind of thing...possibly a deer or two - and just use the word "Peace" - either stamped or die cut. I've also used "Silent Night, Holy Night" for people I know are religious.
__________________ The future is uncertain, because love changes everything!
Holiday sentiment for difficult situation
sympathy and Christmas
