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Today is my Birthday
I used to send Birthday cards to all the Girls I used to work with and all my Family and Friends. It was 4 or 5 a month. Each card was designed for the person I was sending it to. ( Lulu loves yellow and roses Etc) It would be a labor of love and might take me all day to make a card. I enjoyed thinking of that person and imagined their reaction when they opened it. Then that got to be too much time and effort so I started making multiples. I got the stuff out to make Lulu a yellow Rose card, might as well make 4 cards so I have a stash. That has helped a lot!
I am retired now and seem to have less time then ever. My Husband and I do a lot together and there’s my two darling Grandsons. We winter in Florida and have Disney annual passes and a pool. I would rather go to the parks or pool then be cooped up making cards. I don’t have a designated craft room in Florida So my messy hobby is kind of a pain.
My Birthday gift to myself is, I have decided that if I don’t get a card from you for my Birthday you won’t get one from me. It will be liberating not to worry about making Lulu (who stopped sending me a card several years ago) another variation of a yellow rose card.
Facebook is wonderful and I know I will get plenty of wonderful Birthday wishes
So from now on it’s Facebook BD wishes for those that don’t send me a card.
( They have until Thanksgiving haha!!)
__________________ Bev
Organized People are just too lazy to hunt for things!!!
Your post will validate how many people are feeling. There is a universal feeling of "why should I do all this work if they don't care about the card or if they can't send one back?"
I still send b'day cards to about a dozen people even though I only get one back. I would feel badly if I stopped and they thought I had forgotten or just didn't care about their special day. One is month is very manageable, maybe pick one friend or relative and do a special card of the month that will make the recipient feel extra-special. BTW, your life in Florida sound wonderful! I froze yesterday in Northern Colorado.
Mary Beth
my husband and I are happy we decided to live in Florida for the winter. Only down side is our Kids and Grands are in Michigan. I hope I didn’t sound bitter in my post, I’m not.
It’s more about giving myself permission not to make a card if I don’t feel like it.
I stress about forgetting a BD even if it’s someone who hasn’t sent a card to me in years.
I’m like you, I want these friends to know I’m thinking of them. Family will always get cards. But old co workers Etc probably won’t. My hobby should be fun and I’ve decided to take the pressure off. I’m going to make any type of card I want and stop feeling like I can only make a card that only contains images and colors that are the recipients favorites.
Lutheran go somewhere warm in the winter if you can... you will enjoy the break from the cold!!
__________________ Bev
Organized People are just too lazy to hunt for things!!!
A very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you to-day....and I agree with you...I only send handmade cards to those who send me one too! That goes for Christmas cards also. Maybe I am just getting lazy or need more time to create other things .. like quilting and watercolouring......
You are validating my feelings!
I have a list of 65 people I send to...... birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines Day, Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. I got 4 cards for my birthday.
I have also had issues with mail not being delivered so I started last month enclosing a tag that says "Because I have had issues with the USPS delivery recently, I would appreciate it if you let me know that you received it. I don't need much. Just a text or an email is fine" I still haven't heard from some people.
Here is my decision: I am now logging when I send cards so I am sure I send them. I mark if there is an acknowledgement. If they have not acknowledged anything in the last quarter of this year, I am taking them off my list.
Yes, I know some people just can't. Oh well. This hobby is expensive and time-intensive. Postage is going up in January. If people can't appreciate what you do, just move on.
I trimmed my lists a few years ago, it seemed as if people were waiting to see if I'd send them a card, then I'd get one.
When I decided not to send certain people a card I did not receive one either. Like maybe they were relieved I wasn't sending one, now they weren't obligated to send me one.
I love making cards and sending them so now I mostly donate my cards to different places. Family still gets them, a few friends also. But I've found that my cards are very much appreciated and sometimes, a note or a stock letter finds it's way to my mailbox thanking me.
__________________ We can't all be stars but we can all twinkle.
I had to chuckle! We are retiring in January. This year I made note of birthdays and anniversaries I hadn't had on my list before and just added more! I love sending cards and making them even more. I may get to the point where you are and feel there is too much pressure, taking the fun out of it. I used to feel bad if I didn't get a card out. Now I still feel a little pang, but then make a card and send it out anyway. I even have a list and send out RAK's to friends and family throughout the year. . . I'll have to stock up on stamps though!
PS. . . originally from MI and love your "tag" about pointing to where you live using the back of your hand! Only another Michigander would get it! {{{hugs}}} and enjoy your winters in FL.
I think you made the perfect decision. You are doing new things you are enjoying. I think spending time with two little boys at Disney or the pool would be more fun than making cards.
I am sure Lulu will be confused for a while, maybe she will be relieved or maybe she won't care. That's not important. Grandma time with two little boys is the greatest, bestest thing in the world. Card is sweet but going to the pool memories are forever.
I did the same thing a few years back. My friends were relieved. They did love my cards. It was just another added pressure in their life to reciprocate. The last thing I want to do to the people I love. Now, I can do different things that show them love. It feels more beautiful and meaningful to everyone involved. Facebook wishes are beautiful too.
I do still make a card or two for elderly relatives. I don't receive anything back because that would be silly to expect people near and over 90 to send me cards, lol. Last week I had one elderly relative get out her favorite cards of mine and show them to me. I noticed they were all the ones I did before I became a stamper. How cool is that?
I hope you had a great B-day with lots of lovely pool time and Mickey kisses.
There are only a very select few that get birthday cards from me anymore and I never regretted it. I told DH last year that it would be the last time I would be sending out so many Christmas cards as well but due to so many life events last year including the loss of his dad I got most of them made but not sent out.
I mentioned to DH the other day that I needed stamps so I could send out cards and he looked at me and said, "I thought you weren't going to do that anymore". I had to confess that they were made and ready to be addressed and mailed out, he just walked off shaking his head.
I guess I've been in the "sweet spot" all along. I've never had an extensive list to send to - pretty much immediate family, one cousin and one friend - so it's never been a pressure thing or a reciprocal thing or any of that. Any pressure was put on me all by myself, and anyone who gets a card from me actually appreciates it and lets me know. Blessed is what I am, and I can fully recognize and appreciate that! Happy belated birthday, bdeyes9!
I totally hear you on the birthday cards. I send out about 65 a year. Yes we have a big family. I have been doing it for years. And yes I only get maybe 5. And those 5 come from two sisters and 3 friends that I get together with at my home for card making weekends. Makes me want to quit.
Happy belated birthday, Bev! It is heartbreaking to spend hours on a card and then it's tossed aside or destroyed by a child! I make an average of 120 birthday cards a year; most people have a box in which they save them. For those who aren't sentimental and don't save them, I'll still make a card but definitely a CAS design. I receive a few cards in return on my birthday (none are hand made), but I won't quit sending them out since it's just what I do!
I know how you feel. I send out 120+ birthday and anniversary cards a year and get about 30 back. The majority of those are from fellow cardmakers.
The same goes for xmas cards. I make over a hundred and again get about 40 back.
It can get a bit demoralizing, but I do enjoy making them. Just a shame that this hobby costs both in the stash and the ever-increasing postal costs.
I had a very serious illness earlier this year. I belong to a stamping group, ladies I have been friends with for 30 years or more. Guess how many get well cards I received. One. Out of a group of 20 or so, only one person thought of actually sending a card. This is a group who makes cards! They all sent texts, but only one card.
Hi Bev, I hope you had a great birthday. I've only taken up card making recently, and my problem is, I make more than I could possibly send! But when it comes to deciding whether to send a card, I just ask myself: do I want to send a card to this person? If I do, I do; if not, not. I never worry about whether they send a card back, all I want to do is send them my good wishes. Since I started giving handmade cards I've found that most people are really pleased to receive something made especially for them. But I'm just as happy to receive a commercially produced card as a handmade one. It's just nice to know they thought of me.
Happy belated birthday! I'm 43, my girls are still teenagers, and I enjoy them very much. It is so wonderful to hear you all talk about how much fun grandchildren are, as it makes me sad that in four years I will be past the child-rearing stage. I can look forward to grandchildren lol!
I LOVE to send cards, whether I get any in return or not. I send a Christmas card to my aunt and uncle each year and I have never gotten a response. I write a long letter in it letting her know how we are. My mom recently visited her and it turns out that while my aunt does not like to send cards, she has loved receiving ours every year because she loves hearing about our lives. I view sending a card and letter as a small gift that I do not expect acknowledgement or reciprocation of. My joy is in the creating of it. Others find joy elsewhere in the process, or simply do not like to send cards anymore. That's ok! I say do whatever you feel led to do!
I rarely ever send a card but I do enjoy giving people small stacks of cards as hostess gifts, housewarming gifts and the like. That way I get the pleasure of creating without having to stress about who they are going to or the cost of postage. (Oh, I do give cards to some people, but mostly just to close family and friends and co-workers -- but only if I want to, and expecting nothing in return.)
When I go to a party I love giving my homemade hostess gift. she may not remember who brought which bottle of wine (or the wine might end up being drank-up during the event, but she'll definitely remember my cards.
I am the worst procrastinator ever (goes with my maiden name, I guess no matter what, . I'll always be a "DeLay" .. but my SIL is what I call a "cardworthy" person...she tells me how much she enjoys my cards and has kept every card I ever made her. So I do try to make sure those "cardworthy" folks stay on my list even if I don' t always manage a bday card and Christmas cards are sometimes a bit late. My 3 boys each married "cardworthy" ladies..the most recent addition (last May) was here recently. and helped me prep for a class (voluntarily, I might add!) and the next day after class was over I asked if she'd like to make one...we definitely "bonded" over stamps, ink and paper and she was so excited she couldn't believe she could do it so she is most definitely "cardworthy"! tthe other two DIL's are equally "cardworthy" even though they are both so busy they don't have the time right now due to work, kids, etc.
So don't apologize for how you feel..do the cards because it gives you pleasure and if that changes then it's time to re-visit your card list!!!
Last edited by inkerzaway; 11-23-2018 at 02:33 PM..
Reason: typo
My personal feeling is like cnsteele's--I look at sending cards as my gift to those people. If they send me a card in return (rarely handmade, since most of my recipients don't make cards), fine. If not, I don't believe in giving a gift only if you get something in return. That being said, I made a resolution this year to send at least 5 birthday cards each month to people--some friends, some in the RAK group here. I'm not on the RAK birthday committee; I just wanted to brighten someone's day. When I got 2 or 3 RAK cards back as undeliverable as addressed (& I checked to make sure the address I used was the one given), I gave up with that. I don't see spending time & money (on postage at least) if I can't know that the person's address is correct or current. I felt a bit guilty at first, but let go of that. I know people are busy, and often probably don't think to update their address info in some spreadsheet. But I can understand the discouraging aspect of sending someone something and then getting it back. Anyway, like Kelly Latevola says, you do you. Personally I find enjoyment in making cards, especially for special people in my life. If I don't get a card in return--or even get just a Facebook message on my birthday, which is nice, but less effort than even a store-bought card--I don't mind. I give cards with no strings attached. Just my opinion.
I am of the opposite opinion of the OP - I think the treat in sending a card is mine. I hope that if they smile when they open the envelope then that is great. I have no further expectation from them. A gift is not a gift if it is a required reciprocal "transaction".
But on the other hand, I realize that it is a lot of work, and also it is a pain to remember to get all the cards in the mail on time. I managed to send birthday cards to all family and friends in 2017, and then I took 2018 off and used FB greetings for those who were on Facebook. But I don't find giving or getting those FB greetings very satisfying. Because I did not send birthday cards in 2018, I did hand craft my Christmas cards for the first time in years.
Each crafter has to do what works for them, when it works for them. If it is a more a burden than a blessing to the card maker, then you should definitely adjust accordingly.
But you just never know who might appreciate a hand made card. I just heard from a friend at a Christmas party that another friend had said -- "Oh did you see Sue's Christmas card - it was handmade!" The gal who said it is not at all crafty, and someone who I did not expect to appreciate the difference. So an occasional comment like that keeps me sending hand made cards!
My personal feeling is like cnsteele's--I look at sending cards as my gift to those people. If they send me a card in return (rarely handmade, since most of my recipients don't make cards), fine. If not, I don't believe in giving a gift only if you get something in return. That being said, I made a resolution this year to send at least 5 birthday cards each month to people--some friends, some in the RAK group here. I'm not on the RAK birthday committee; I just wanted to brighten someone's day. When I got 2 or 3 RAK cards back as undeliverable as addressed (& I checked to make sure the address I used was the one given), I gave up with that. I don't see spending time & money (on postage at least) if I can't know that the person's address is correct or current. I felt a bit guilty at first, but let go of that. I know people are busy, and often probably don't think to update their address info in some spreadsheet. But I can understand the discouraging aspect of sending someone something and then getting it back. Anyway, like Kelly Latevola says, you do you. Personally I find enjoyment in making cards, especially for special people in my life. If I don't get a card in return--or even get just a Facebook message on my birthday, which is nice, but less effort than even a store-bought card--I don't mind. I give cards with no strings attached. Just my opinion.
Yes - totally agree. <3 Plus some people aren't good at the organizational tools you use to keep track of cards, but they have other gifts and are still cherished people. I also view it as a joyful task for me and something that makes me feel like I'm slowing down the clock a bit.
No one should ever feel that what makes their life happy and productive is something they need to apologize for. Sounds like your (OP) retired life is amazing and you are enjoying what you enjoy - there's really nothing more a person could ask for! Enjoy every minute of it.
Happy belated birthday, Bev! It is heartbreaking to spend hours on a card and then it's tossed aside or destroyed by a child! I make an average of 120 birthday cards a year; most people have a box in which they save them. For those who aren't sentimental and don't save them, I'll still make a card but definitely a CAS design. I receive a few cards in return on my birthday (none are hand made), but I won't quit sending them out since it's just what I do!
I enjouy making cards and challenging myself to try new techniques on cards for my friends. If they keep the card on display for a week or so, in a box or eventually the trash, it doesn't bother me. I got pleasure from the process and the friend knows they were thought of.
Not everyone has the space to keep everything they get. The only cards I keep are the anniversary and birthday cards from my husband.
This was the first month I didn’t send any Birthday cards. I made my 2 grandsons,
Daughter & her husband, son and his wife and my husband’s sisters. .and 5 friends very elaborate Christmas cards. I wished the December Birthdays Happy BD on Facebook and felt liberated!!
I have a little business selling cards and tags, and completed my orders. I almost had enough time to make the Birthday cards but then was invited out for lunch.
In past years I would declined lunch because I HAD to make those BD cards.
This year I went to lunch. Letting go of the idea that I HAVE to make a card feels great!
Merry Christmas to you all!!
Kudos to you! My daughter said to me once, "If it isn't 'HELL, YES!', then it should be NO!" I tend to agree - we need to do more of what brings us joy and let go of the "should" stuff (who said we should, after all?)...
I did the same with my Christmas card list. It felt great so I decided to try it with my gift giving list as well (nieces and nephews who I would never hear from, never receive a birthday card from them, always sent beautiful cards AND MONEY, no reply). Poof! Off my list! Very very liberating! Lol. I’m not sure what held me back from doing it sooner?!!
Merry Christmas to all! Less shopping and mailing time means more card-making time!
Decided to purge My Birthday Card list this year!
