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Disappointed at The lack of Acknowledement from the people that receive my cards
I Make and send Birthday cards to all my friends and family.I also make and send Valentines, St. Patrick's cards (to my Irish friends)
Easter cards, Halloween cards, Thanksgiving cards and Christmas cards.
Not to mention Sympathy, Get Well, and Thinking of You cards. I know I'm a card maker and sending all these cards gives me a reason to make cards.
That being said I don't hear back from most of the people I send card to.
I don;t know if they've gotten the card. I am not expecting a card in return
( except from my card making friends that I exchange with. But, a txt or Facebook post or phone call or any acknowledgement would be nice.
Thanks for letting me vent!!
Bev
__________________ Bev
Organized People are just too lazy to hunt for things!!!
I hear you! I send a lot of cards. I send holiday cards, and birthday cards to friends and family on a regular basis. None of them are cardmakers.
I'm know I'm fortunate that some of them do let me know by email, phone or Facebook that they received the cards, and enjoyed them. I have a couple of friends that actually take pictures of the cards and post them on FB and say thank you.
The ones that do thank me have said some lovely things. I have a daughter-in-law who said that receiving my cards is like getting a little piece of art in her mailbox. Another one sent me a purchased card and apologized that it was not handmade like mine are.
Then there are the others, that I've sent cards to for years, and never heard a word.:( Some are family, and some are friends. They are sometimes the same ones that don't seem to know how to acknowledge or say thank you for gifts, birthday, Christmas, or wedding.
I struggle with my feelings about this. I have times when I think: I will never send them another card, or buy them another present! I fantasize that there should be a First District Court of Thank You, and that they could be summoned to appear and say a proper thank you.
Then I settle down, and tell myself - They don't have the power to determine how I will feel or act. Feeling resentful about other people's actions or non-actions only makes me feel bad, and they don't even know it!
So I keep making and sending cards because I enjoy doing it and hope that I'm making a positive contribution to someone's day.
__________________ Bugga in OK
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." Dalai Lama
Bev, I totally understand! When I've poured my heart into making a card for someone, I'd really like to at least know it arrived. When we sent boxed cards,I really didn't care one way or another--card-sending was my husband's "thing," I just helped out. I neither wanted nor anticipated an acknowledgement. Now that I've embraced it as my personal art form, I care! LOL!
Some people I send things never acknowledge anything--my sister, for example--others let me know how delighted they are to receive a handmade card. i prefer to send to the appreciative ones, but still make a card for my sister every now and then. ;)
__________________ -Beth H from Georgia
My Mama taught me that I could do anything, and I might just be caught doing it, too.
This is one of my pet peeves too. If they are acquaintances, I just don't send them cards anymore. However, some are family. They're the ones who post a general "thanks" on Facebook to all the people who "remembered" their birthday. So I get lumped in with everyone who sent a text, posted on FB, or something else like that. Sometimes they don't even do that much. It is very disappointing.
It hasn't ever been my experience that people acknowledge the sending of just a card. Sure, maybe you mention it three weeks later when you call your sister for something else, but unless there was also money in there, I don't expect to be notified when someone gets a card from me. The few times I've given a handmade card in person, though, the recipients were properly appreciative (or adequately faking it to make me feel good, LOL!)
I never get a response either. I don't get birthday cards (even store bought) on my birthday and of all the cards that I send out at Christmas (35-40 cards), I only get 3 cards. I send money to the "kids" in my family for birthdays and never hear a word and some of these "kids" are adults!
I love making cards, but I'm thinking of not mailing any more and just seeing if anyone cares. I am thinking of cutting my phone to the very minimal that I can - DH is the only one who calls me and I only need the cell phone when I leave the house and I might need to call for police or ambulance!
I keep thinking about - "one of these days I won't be around!"
I truly understand your disappointment. I send lots of cards to family and friends for almost every holiday, birthday, anniversary, etc. Some people always let me know that they received the card - and usually say they liked or loved it. But there are some people - my brother - who never once in the 25+ years I've been making cards has ever mentioned that I sent him one. But his grown children always let me know that they look forward to receiving my cards. I do get annoyed when I see all the thanks on Facebook that people post for the Facebook birthday wishes but no thanks for the handmade card they received.
My son almost lost his life when he was a senior in high school and had to have er brain surgery. He and I received many wonderful cards, some I kept in the kitchen to look at every day and to help me hang on during this truly rough time. Those cards meant the world to me and I hope I remembered to thank everyone for them. You just have to believe that your card gave the person you sent it to a glimmer of happiness and sometimes even more. I make and send cards I must admit for my own happiness and pleasure. I would rather make cards than say, go to a movie with friends. I just love it the calmness it gives me. So keep on creating, you just never know the effect they may have. And my son is okay now.
It hasn't ever been my experience that people acknowledge the sending of just a card. Sure, maybe you mention it three weeks later when you call your sister for something else, but unless there was also money in there, I don't expect to be notified when someone gets a card from me. The few times I've given a handmade card in person, though, the recipients were properly appreciative (or adequately faking it to make me feel good, LOL!)
I always send money to my nieces and nephew, and only one of them calls or texts me personally to thank me for the card & gift.
Sent handmade cards to my niece and nephew from the time they were born for 15 years for all holidays and they never ever mentioned them to me not once. In fact, they never even acknowledged their Christmas presents.
I alway make a point of acknowledging the kindness one extends by sending a card to me or my husband whether it is handmade or not.
A good friend, who is also a cardmaker, and I talk about the fact that handmade cards are not acknowledged by the recipient unless we forgot to send one and then we are asked why we didn't send a homemade card!
It is always nice to have someone thank you for the very cool cards you make and send to the person you are thinking about when you make a card. The feeling is awesome. However, I don't expect to get a thank-you. I get my enjoyment from sitting in my craft room, playing with my toys and treasures and creating what I want with my stuff. I know the recipient will like my card and it sometimes has the reward of a Thank-you, but I learned long ago not to expect a thank-you. Some people just don't know how to thank someone for a card like the ones we make. I've seen people open a card, maybe smile and then throw it immediately away. They don't have the time to bother with dealing with it. They are not naturally sentimentalists, and don't save keepsakes. Some others really do take the time to personally thank-you and comment on the time and talent it takes to make cards like we do. That's always a bonus. So now, I make cards for my enjoyment with the recipient in mind when I make it. I make cards for all occasions and simply send them out for the occasion they are intended. If I get a thank-you great, but if I don't that's O.K. too. I think I worry more that my card may get lost in the mail or gets delivered to the wrong address but I'm learning to get over that too.
The only person I ever expect to hear from is my one card-making friend that I also receive cards from. I've never received acknowledgement of store-bought cards, so I just consider this an extension of that. I guess I've had enough experiences at this point in my life to know better than have any attachment to outcome, and that includes what happens to a card after it leaves my hands...
I used to feel that way and would wonder whether it was all worth the effort when I never heard that they got it. That was all I ever wanted to know, was did it arrive? Last year I was blessed with a wonderful three week trip to visit family and friends. You should have heard how appreciative they are of getting my cards, comments like, "it arrived at just the right time", "a beautiful piece of art", " frame them/keep them in a basket to look over again", etc. It did my heart good! At that same time I also learned all the trials and tribulations that are taking place in their lives, leaving most of them with little time to acknowledge a card or much else. Most are or have been care takers for parents etc. . . I now have a MUCH better understanding of how much of an impact we make with our little pieces of art. . .They are for the most part appreciated and cherished. I love what I do and get so much peace and enjoyment from it that after it leaves my hands, I'm on to the next "project". . . and sending out more smiles to family and friends. Keep on makin' cards if it gives you get pleasure making them and know in your heart that it will arrive at the right time for that person. . . the digital age has added to the specialness of a handmade card or gift. IMHO anyway! Go snail mail!!
I don't really expect a response for a card but sometimes when I run into someone they say something about it. The ones that seem the most outwardly appreciative have been the ones that have survived cancer. You never know how important it might be be even if you don't get a response. I received a condolence card long ago from someone I worked with. I was in my 20's and my husband had passed away unexpectedly. I kept that card for decades because it had such a kind message. If you enjoy making them then I would say keep sending them. I like that reworked Willy Wonka quote, "So shines a good deed in a weary world."
Gosh, whatever about not acknowledging cards I think not acknowledging a gift, of money or otherwise, is inexcusable, those who have mentioned it. I stopped sending Christmas gifts to my half-brother when he never mentioned them, and make a charitable donation instead - which I did tell him I would be doing.
With the bulk of my mailing being international postage, I appreciate hearing that cards have arrived but don't count on it. Two years of no acknowledgment and I'll scratch someone off my list, though. A few years back I had a MAJOR issue with mailed cards not arriving, because I checked with a couple of people I was surprised not to hear back from, and a couple of others said " I really missed getting a birthday card from you this year." So I started including a very polite note in my BRAK cards saying that I was having postal problems and really would appreciate knowing that they had received their cards. Didn't make any difference to the number of people sending a PM thanks or posting on the BRAK threads so in the end I resigned from that.
I would say that in a circle of friends and family as opposed to here on SCS, my expectation of a thank-you is much lower. But to the OP, don't lose heart, it doesn't mean that they don't appreciate getting your cards - I am sure that most of them really do and would miss them if you didn't send them.
I think in general people have given up saying thank you for anything unless it is given face to face; and sometimes not even then!!
I have sent handmade baby items to friends far away and not received any acknowledgement. Sure I'd love a thank you and to know they actually LIKED what I spent a month or more making; but I would settle for just knowing it arrived safely.
At Christmas I will make a dozen or so cards that need extra padding and postage to get where they are going safely and arrive intact. Those are the cards I would most like to get feedback on. Even just a quick FB post saying "hey, got your card"! Fortunately, I usually send those to a few good friends who have appreciated my handmade cards in the past. I have prepped them with a FB note saying the card is on the way and could they please let me know if it gets there okay?
All in all while I'd like to hear that my cards arrived in one piece, I keep making and sending them because I enjoy it. But I DO enjoy it MORE for the people who have expressed appreciation for my efforts in the past!:-D
I also make a bigger effort to acknowledge any cards or gifts I receive by mail knowing how it feels not to be acknowledged.
I've accepted and made peace with the fact that most people don't acknowledge my cards. But, if I sent someone a gift? Yes, I'd expect some form of thank you. If my gift wasn't acknowledged, they would probably never receive another one, from me anyway. I know people are busy, but I was busy too years ago. I always tried to send an appropriate thank you card. It's just manners. Many people now a days have simply lost the art of manners. Sad.
__________________ Keep what is worth keeping
and with the breath of kindness
blow the rest away.
Just wanted to share a funny coincidence. While I was reading this thread last evening, my phone rang and I received a hearty thank you for cards I have been sending to my uncle and aunt who were injured in a car accident in January. Their injuries required that they reside in a nursing home for 3 months while they were recovering. They live a long distance away from me; since I couldn't visit them, I made a card of encouragement each week for each of them. Thankfully they were well enough to return to their home just this week. I like to think that each of my cards added a little sunshine to their day ... and that phone message last evening seems to confirm just that.
I've been making and sending cards to relatives and friends for over 20 years. I receive lots of joy from making them even if I don't always get a response from some of the recipients.
-Rita
__________________ Rita
God demonstrated His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us ... being now justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. Romans 5:8 & 9
I had a rubberstamping friend who has not made any cards for a long time, tell me how she called out another rubberstamping friend for not sending her a Birthday card.
The lady said she had wished her Happy Birthday on Facebook. My friend asked her why she didn't make her a card. The lady said you didn't send me one last year. I listened politely,
She hadn't sent me a Birthday card either. But I continue to make and send her cards because I always have.
__________________ Bev
Organized People are just too lazy to hunt for things!!!
I guess what I am getting out of these comments is that people are not looking for gratitude so much as just wanting to know if the gift or card was received and if it made that person's day a little brighter.
I completely understand where you're coming from. I send cards and while I don't do it, to get one in return, an acknowledgment sure is nice! The way I see it, I took the time to make a card. They can take the time to thank me.
I've sent cards out where I never heard a thing from the person. I would wait about 2 weeks and then e-mail them, just to make sure they got the card. I know how sometimes mail can be mis-delivered. This is actually about one person, in particular, but after THREE YEARS in a row, of my sending her a birthday card and she not ever even acknowledging it, I finally quit sending her anything. LOL
People SHOULD BE appreciative and they should certainly let you know if they got a card. It takes literally 5 seconds to say, "Thank you so much for the lovely card. I love it!"
Some people just don't say much. My mom has dated the same guy for eight years. They are both widowed. I send him cards for his birthday, Christmas, if he is sick, or any other thing. I send him Valentines. He has, occasionally, said that was a pretty card but not really much.
About a month ago, he was in the hospital. I went with my mother to clean up his house and make some food for his return home. He has a bookcase full of books in his living room. EVERY CARD I have ever sent him is on that bookcase in front of the books. I simply could not believe it!
When he got home, I told him I was surprised to see all those cards. He said they are the nicest cards I ever got.
So you don't really know if your cards mean something to someone. I bet they do!
I've been surprised and a little disappointed when sending a gift, if I tuck in a handmade card, bookmark or other item, I've received thanks for the gift, but the handmade piece isn't mentioned.
That's even happened on SCS, which really surprised me. But you know what they say about assumptions. Once I asked about the card, since the recipient is so kind and friendly on SCS, I couldn't imagine her not saying something. It turned out she hadn't seen it. The card was behind paper that was packed tightly into the box to protect the item. After I asked, she pulled out the packing and found the card.
And I learned that "civilians" (non cardmakers) sometimes don't get it. I've had people assume I purchased the card.
And recently I gave a card and gag gift to someone to make him laugh about a frustrating situation, and got a huge thank you and hug (it was given in person). He went around and showed people, and afterwards texted me about it several times.
He knows I make cards, but he expressed surprise that I had "found" perfect paper to fit the situation. Yeah, found it in my imagination. : ) I had made the background paper by stamping randomly with two small stamps and three inks all over cream cardstock.
I don't call and thank every person who sends me a store card, "it's just a card" after all. Yes I know my cards are handmade but I decided to make instead of buy. If I only made cards for my own vanity in order to get praise I doubt the cards would be very good as my true creative heart would be missing from those cards.
I used to get frustrated with not getting acknowledgement of my cards but have learned to let it go for a couple of reasons:
1) I make them because getting crafty is what makes me happy and that is enough now. It's true what they say about you get to decide your own emotions, I choose to not be hurt or upset by others lack of acknowledgement. I've let the rest go because I choose to bring myself joy by being crafty.
2) I have been surprised on several occasions to find out that someone was saving every card I sent them. You just never know who's life you are uplifting with the simple act of making and sending a card. Again that possibility is enough now.
I'm glad I am not alone!!! It does seem like people are getting less thankful and I just don't understand why. I ALWAYS thank someone when I get a gift or a card. If I get a gift, I send a thank you CARD. But that's just how I am.
I do like the feeling I get when I have made someone's day, even if they haven't told me so.
I understand how you feel, like others have said I have resigned myself that I will likely not get an acknowledgement, and I take my joy from the time I spent making the card as that is after all why I make cards rather then buy them.
That being said, some of my family & friends do acknowledge and make a big deal of receiving my cards so that makes up for the others.
What does happen and has just happened 'again' ...I made some Easter gift boxes, I was showing a fellow crafter at work when another co worker asked to see the pictures, when they saw they asked if I could make a couple for them. Sure, they were easy enough to whip up. Put them on her desk two days later....nothing, nada, zip, no thank you, no how much do I owe you (which would have been nothing).
I don't receive thanks for most cards I send. People are more likely to thank me for remembering an occasion or for caring to send sympathy than they are for the cards themselves. A few years ago I sent a card I worked hard on and got no response. Last year the person who received the card mentioned in passing in another conversation that my cards were getting to be works of art. So people can admire what you do without saying so. Lots of people don't even tell their spouses and children they love them!
I send 30-40 Valentines, St.Patrick's Day, Easter, 4th of July. 40-50 Halloween, 60-70 Thanksgiving and 80 or more Christmas. And Birthday, as well as get well, thinking of you and sympathy. I only get about 4 birthday cards and maybe 6-8 for the major holidays. I don't expect a handmade card, but a store bought card would be nice. At the dollar store they are 2 for $1. I think people can't be bothered. They are "So busy" . I have deleted many except for their birthday and Christmas. I would rather donate my cards to nursing homes and other groups where they would be appreciated.
Relax and enjoy the ride. Make cards for the pure joy of it. If the recipient responds, so much the better. If not, go on making and sending cards for the love of it. Life is too short to worry about that stuff.
I too have made many cards that were not acknowledged, but my family and special friends that I send to do tell me how much they like them and they usually save all of them. My daughter still sends actual cards to us but just does the Facebook thing or texts her friends. I think that's kind of sad because she does like getting an actual card in the mail. On a good note - our 13 year old grandson told me on his birthday that he likes my handmade cards the best. I think he really meant it too because he kept looking at the card. Made me feel good.
People don't have the manners of times past but I make the cards for my pleasure and hope they like them too.
I am so grateful that I learned a long time ago not to expect anything when I give something away. Whether it's a gift, a handmade card, or even a "loan"... once I let it go, it's not mine to worry about any more. I love the idea that we don't actually "own" anything - we're just borrowing it from the universe. And ultimately, it's all just "stuff". In the case of cards, it's really just paper and glue. Yes, it meant something to me when I made it, and when I gave it - but that's still true no matter what happens after it's given.
If someone does say thank you, I consider that a gift. But if they don't, that's okay, too. I choose to take joy in the giving. I can't control whether or not they take joy in the receiving. I didn't always see things this way... but I'm a gazillion times happier now that I do.
__________________ ~ Kitty ~ "If you can dream it, you can do it." - Walt Disney
Your post and subsequent comments are SO timely!! Reading all the responses is SO encouraging that I am not alone!!
Instead of restating the obvious, I would like to give a big Ol' Stamping SHOUT OUT and virtual HUG to ALL of you card makers/senders..........STAMP ON, my stamping friends!! All you Stampers, simply ROCK!!
MAIL out those cards, whether they respond or not, MAIL on!!
We ARE making a difference in our little corners of the world!!
__________________ We cannot do great things, only small things with great love.
I am "practicing" to get my creativity flowing. I am making birthday and cards for people who are ill. I don't expect anything back. I do find that I am getting better. Please don't be disappointed that you don't hear back. How do you feel about sending it. I try to make each card to fit the person that I send it to. It is to fun for me. Apparently, I am amused easily. If that is all I get back, I am totally satisfied.
__________________
Mary Kay
"Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are. It solely relies on what you think." Buddha
Yes, I mailed out 3 cards this week. 2 birthday cards for kids I only know from the website "Send kids the world", and 1 to my grandson and his family to thank them for making my birthday extra fun!
I won't be getting any responses, but that's fine. Decided that people are going to get cards from me whether they need them or not! LOL!
__________________ We can't all be stars but we can all twinkle.
I have a group of friends who come over and make cards each month. We've been doing this for over 10 years now (not bad for a one-off which became a two-off and carried on from there!). Sadly we lost one of our founder members 3 years ago to cancer.
After the funeral, I heard one of her daughters had decided to inherit our friend's stash and take up card-making herself. The reason being that her family had so appreciated the cards my friend had made over the years that her daughter felt strongly that now her Mum was gone, somebody else should become the family card-maker.
I have no idea how many thank-yous my friend received during her life, but her actions clearly made a huge impression on the recipients.
I guess I am of the generation of people who communicate with Facebook and texts . I have always kind of resented " obligatory cards" - that is, cards sent out because you received a card from the other person or card that you felt you HAD to send . That said, I love to make cards and I love to send cards that I make. The creative process delights me and I enjoy making a "custom" card that the receiver will love. It gives me great pleasure to imagine that person opening the mailbox and getting my card. I don't fret about whether or not the card got there "in time" or if that person ever mentions the card to me - I have already gotten my pleasure from the process. I know my cards give people pleasure ( who doesn't like to get a card in the mail ? ). Kind of like Random Acts of Kindness , who knows who will benefit from a small gesture of love and caring. Isn't that the whole point?
Disappointed at The lack of Acknowledement from the people that receive my cards
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