LSC58 - Handle with Care

[CardFanatic]

Please put LSC58 and Sympathy in the keyword box when uploading.

Many of us have known someone who has had a miscarriage. Some of you may have known someone who has had a stillborn baby, a baby die as an infant, or a young child die either tragically or from an awful disease. In all of these situations, we need to proceed carefully. If you have experienced any of these yourself, you will understand what I'm going to say.

There are many sympathy cards in the gallery... 25 pages. And none of them are directly designed for a baby or child. However, these tragedies do happen. And when we're faced with this tragedy, we may not be at our creative best. Let's fill the gallery with some ideas.

What do you put inside them? Well, the current sympathy set should not be used for infants, IMO. You can always use a search engine to find a verse or poem. There are lots of good ones. Don't ever say you understand.... unless you do. You can very appropriately say, "Just want you to know I care". When offering to help, be specific. Offer to go grocery shopping, help with older children's homework or car pooling. Maybe make a meal or do some laundry. Think concretely.

When do you send cards? At the time of death is just the obvious. But don't forget these times: at the anniversary of the death, the first Christmas or significant holiday, the child's birthday or due date for a miscarriage or premature birth.

There are lots of flower, tree, and butterfly sympathy cards in the gallery. There's nothing wrong with these. But don't be afraid of baby and child stamps. Moms don't want people to pretend their child didn't exist. That's the worst... at least it was to me.

OK... This is a hard challenge. I understand. But it's so important. Because this means so much to me, I will be randomly drawing a number from the uploaded cards and sending a surprise in the snail mail

If you are new to the challenges, please feel free to do this one or ANY of the challenges at any time. There is no time limit. They are not races to see who can do one first, nor are they contests of any sort. All the challenges are simply to provide inspiration and to get us stamping!

If you need help with uploading your card to the gallery or posting a link, click here!
Forums at Splitcoaststampers

Here is my sample.
Gallery at Splitcoaststampers

Thanks for caring,
Jen

[StampinSweetie]

Thanks for posting Jen. There are a few ladies in my bible study group who unfortunately had to face this. And I actually have one in my gallery that I sent to a friend of a fellow SCSer who lost her baby.

Here's my Angel Card

[dawnmercedes]

Oooh, this challenge will have to pondered on for a while before I make a card. After chatting it up with the stalkers and being loosey goosey, this is so, so serious. Okay... my thinking cap is on!

Oh and I did send a sympathy card to my neighbor a few months ago. It was in the same month when her mother had passed away 2 year previously and it was warmly and graciously accepted. So I'm sure a mother would also like the reassurance that her loss is remembered at a later date.

[Barbra1224]

Thanks for the challenge Jen. This will be a good one for me. It is always hard to know the right thing to say.

[jsbrooketrout]

Oh boy.... this will be a tough one! I see a lot of post in threads about what to say in these types of cards, so this could be helpful to alot of people!
Hugs to you Jen!!

[mom2grace]

very timely for me. My SIL and her DH lost their son to Lukemia (spelling?) 15 years ago this month (he was 5). We always talk about it, but I know she would really appreciate a card, thanks for the challenge. So sorry for your loss, Jen.

[pammyrn]

Jen my heart goes out to you. I to have had several miscarriages. I have a wonderful 17 year old son and we adopted a beaufiful little girl two years ago. It is hard to know what to say, and in return what to say back. I think a card speaks so much for someone. I will work long and hard to do a card for this challenge. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself.

[luvsstampinup]

Thank you Jen for bringing this idea to a challenge. After my daughter lost her first baby in August of 2004, I cried as if i were the one losing the child. And I still think about him alot wondering what he would have been like as a child. I know he is in Heaven and being well taken care of, but sometimes you just wish you could have had a chance to know that little one. My daughter greived for a very long time afterwards and it did take getting pregnant again to get beyond it. Now she has a little girl and she is precious. You are right...this is a good time to get those cards together because it might be difficult to think how to do one, when you really need it.
Thanks Jen.

[nightscrapper]

Great challenge! I'll have to really put my thinking cap on. I too have suffered with 2 miscarriages. So I know how others feel at times. Today my demo and very good friend miscarried. This is her 4th I believe. Our group of friends were really cheering her on and were all excited that this time might be it. But today we were sadden by the news. I'll have to make up a card and send to her.

Thanks for challenging us in a dynamic way.

Marlo

[Gladd-lyStamping]

I have never lost a child, but my sister-in-law and brother lost a baby when she was 7 1/2 months pregnant. They were hit head on by a drunk driver. (They were 2 blocks away from getting home). I, too, wonder what David would have been like had he lived on earth. I treasure the pictures we have of him and how much he looks like the 3 brothers that came after him.

{{{{{Jen}}}}}

(Hugs to you, Jen). I will have to think about this quite a bit.... thanks for posting such a challenging challenge.

[kellymartin]

Wow, Jen, I am so blessed to never have had to experience this first hand. Several of my friends have miscarried, the experience really makes you feel fortunate for the healthy children they have in their lives now, but there is never a replacement for the child that is missing. I will have to do some searching for just the right combination of sentiment and stamp for this one.

Thanks for bringing this to the front for us to really think about. Sometimes if we haven't had an experience personally, we forget the importance of recognizing anniversaries of such occasions.

[mrikitty]

I lost my first daughter, I was 5.5 months pregnant, had heard the heartbeat and felt life already...The worst part was it took a month for me to actually lose her ( I was bleeding and having pain and on bedrest) and I was only 19. It stuck heavy with me for many years. I still think about "Jessica" often and especially around thanksgiving as that was when she was due. She would be 27 this coming Nov. I will make a card for this challenge, but I will need to think on it, and be in the right frame of mind.

[treelady62]

I thank God my kids are pretty much, ok. My oldest is having some problems and can't figure out what it is. Jen, I can't imagine having to go through the pain and suffering that you must have experienced. I do know how hard it is when they have something wrong with them and the Docs can't figure it out. You are on pins and needles all the time, just wondering...what is it? I find that I pray alot to help ease the anxiety. I'm going through that with my daughter, now. I keep hoping and praying that there is not something we are missing. It weighs very heavy on your heart and soul. You wonder what it is that you have done wrong.

I will give this challenge and shot and see what I can come up with.

Many prayers to you Jen.

[nmslmomto3]

This will be a hard challenge, it is so hard to use baby related items, and yet make them sympathy related.. I will have to think on this one, thanks for the challenge! I have not miscarried, but did place a child up for adoption, so think of him often as well. It is difficult at times, as no one thinks you want to talk about your child that you have lost, when all you want to do is talk about them, make them real.

[Toy]

I DO understand. Unfortunately. I accept this challenge.. a worthy effort Jen. Thanks for starting this!

Will be working on this today!

Peace,
Toy

[imastampin]

What a heart tug. I have been touched by this sad situation a few times - I lost a baby, my dd lost two, and many others I know have had to suffer this grief. It is difficult for so many to understand the pain. I agree, we need to talk about it and remember these loved ones.

my card

[ktc_texas]

This is a good challenge. I am going to work on this. The loss of a child is like none other.
Karen C

[DawnL]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrikitty

I lost my first daughter, I was 5.5 months pregnant, had heard the heartbeat and felt life already...The worst part was it took a month for me to actually lose her ( I was bleeding and having pain and on bedrest) and I was only 19. It stuck heavy with me for many years. I still think about "Jessica" often and especially around thanksgiving as that was when she was due. She would be 27 this coming Nov. I will make a card for this challenge, but I will need to think on it, and be in the right frame of mind.

Susan, your story is so similar to mine...heading into my 7th month...she would have been 32 this month!
Jen...hugs to you and your family.... whether I get time or not, my heart is certainly with this challenge.

[trudee]

{{{{Jen}}}}
This is a hard challenge, but one I am willing to step up for.

[bonnie32002]

I only had a couple of minutes this morning before I left for work and I am surprised that I was able to get it done and uploaded so quickly.
child sympathy
is what I came up with. Any image with a mother and child would be wonderful. I think that I might rework this into more pastel colors however. See what you think.
Thanks for looking.

[lacyquilter]

I can relate only in that my sister lost her son at 5 months. I know it was very difficult for her to think about trying to have another child.
I was able to get a start on this last night. Here is mine: miss you baby.

[jsbrooketrout]

Wow..... this was a tough card to make..... and I really hope I never need to use it! This was a great challenge, Jen. This thread will be a terrific resource for people when they need to get ideas for such a hard card to make!
Here's mine: Butterfly Poem

[dtstampz]

Gosh--a serious side to the weekly challenges. Excellent entries so far.
It's not as easy to comment on these cards--they are making me cry.
Sending wishes of comfort and peace to all of you here who have experienced this kind of loss. I can't begin to imagine what it's like.

[star]

First of all~ Hugs to all who have had to experience such a loss....no matter how long ago! I recently have had to make two such cards (sorry, probably won't have time to do another one today). I have used the from Brighter Tomorrow "After the showers, the smell of flowers" but I wanted to share what I have found to put on the inside (came from another stamp which I modied the words)

"Sometimes, the best words of comfort given~ are those said in prayer."

Please always know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers daily.

I love Sue's card also with the butterflys....says so much for a fleeting young life that touches in such a prolonged way.
Hugs again to all of you!

[webseitler]

Thank you for this challenge! I want to think ahead and be prepared with beautiful cards in my collection to bless my friends when these things happen. I wouldn't be ready otherwise...

[showmestamper]

Jen, I have told you this before, but it bears repeating....
You are a remarkable woman and an inspiration to me. Thank you for all you do for us here on SCS.
This challenge is a perfect example. Dealing with loss of any sort is heartbreaking, but especially difficult with miscarriages, stillborns, and infant death. Many of us (myself included) have experienced this type of loss, yet still find ourselves at a complete loss on how to make an appropriate card to send to a friend experiencing it. I hope to be able to rise to this challenge and share. I have a few ideas floating around in my head.
I agree that we should not be afraid to use baby images...the worst thing we can do is pretend that the child did not exist. It was a child, he/she did exist, and the best thing we can do is tell the parents that the child *will* be remembered and honored.
The other thing we can do is check in on the parents once a week for a long time afterwards....while there might be tons of support in the beginning, after a couple of weeks, the grieving are left to fend for the themselves as everyone else "forgets" and gets on with their lives. (this is true for any loss) Don't know what to say when you call? Just say, "I was thinking of you today." That is such a comfort in itself. Then pause, and let them have a chance to talk if they want.
Jen had great suggestions about offering to do something specific....don't just say, "I'm here if you need help." You can say "what can I do to help?" there is a difference in those two sentences. Offer to run the vacuum, do a load of laundry, clean the bathroom, take their kids for an afternoon, or just come over and BE with them.
{HUGS} to everyone on this thread.

[qvande]

A year ago I had to make a card for the loss of triplets, 2 girls and a boy. It was very difficult. I will have to come up with another one.

[Wendy G]

Thank you Jen for this challenge! You are an inspiration to all of us. I want everyone to know that I am sorry for your losses. I myself have never experienced it but have family and friends that have. I is so hard for us to know what to say or do. Thanks for all the inspiration helping us know what to do!
I never realized how hard a miscarriage was on a mother until my sister had some. She had one then had a son. She had 3 more and almost died herself during the last one. She was overcome with grief for years and years. Last year, an unwed girl who works for her got pregnant. My sister was so angry! It took her a while to get over the fact that this young girl, not married, was able to have a baby and she couldn't. The dr's told her she's was lucky to have her son. Then last summer my neighbor had a little girl who died just a short time after birth. They were able to hold her and take pictures and then she was gone. Needless to say they were devastated! I felt so bad because I had no earthly idea what to do or say. They had tried for so long to have a baby.
The only thing I know to say is "Jesus loves the little children" (like the song). I think knowing they are in his hands is about the only comforting thing. I hope I haven't brought anyone's spirits down. I mean to offer my sympathy and a little hope to the hearts of those who have lost.
Since I have no baby or child stamps I have no idea what I will make but I will do my best to come up with something. May the Lord Bless You All!

[Toy]

Ok girls... I cried and I cried and this is what I came up with. I just don't have anything SU! that I could use, so these are Non-SU! stamps except the background... like it matters!

Here's my results:
Gallery at Splitcoaststampers

God Bless All Of You!!

Peace,
Toy

[kestril00]

Jen, thank you for a great challenge. My first grand daughter died of SIDS at 3 1/2 months just over three years ago. It was an ordeal for all of us and almost destroyed my daughter, it took a surprise pregnancy to pull her through. Both babies were premature, which greatly increases the risk of SICS and so many other problems. Fortunately, this baby is now a smiling, healthy, happy and very active nine month old. I won't have time to stamp until after tax season, but I still wanted to thank you, and tell you I'll be sponsoring you after the 17th. Thank you also for your work for the March of Dimes.

I'm trying to remember what helped us the most when Talia died. Several people brought us meals, which was a great help. And some friends vacuumed and did the dishes - also great. I was amazed at how many people had lost babies, their hugs and sympathy, and telling us how they survived helped a lot. A really good friend organized a memorial service for us, because we just couldn't do it. A friend at work gave me a bear that says "I love you" when hugged, I almost wore him out the first few months, and he still sits on my desk. And all of the cards, notes, hugs, etc. really do make a difference.

Thanks again for a great challenge. And for the chance to remember all the sweet thoughts and helps we received during a trying time.

[ctrmom3]

This thread and the sweet cards you all have created are making me cry. I cannot imagine what it must be like to deal with the loss of a child. Even the thought fills me with sadness. My husband's sister passed away when she was just three. I've always thought my mother-in-law was an amzing woman and so strong for the way she dealt/deals with the loss. She still puts balloons on her grave for her birthday and a pinwheel and Easter lily at Easter, etc. I'm sending my prayers and (((hugs))) to all who have had to experience such a sad thing. You guys here at splitcoast are truly amazing and inspiring in so many ways.

[reneejul1]

On my way to see what I can come up with! Cya in a bit.

[webseitler]

Thinking this over...is it really okay to use a baby stamp? I would think that make it hurt more, mulling over the loss of what they had...That's why I'd use flowers and butterflies...

Oh, my. What a challenge! :(

[kehfrog]

I usually check out the challenges in thinking that I'll participate later on...This one though, I'll keep in the back of my mind in hopes I won't need to.

Now I can't wait to get home and hug my little man as soon as I get off work. The next five hours are going to be long ones!

I pray for all of you who have experienced this kind of loss. I can't imagine the pain. I'm in tears just reading thru the replies.

Peace,

Karen

[kwhittek]

I have had several instances unfortunately in the last year where a card like this would have come in handy, however I just could not sit down and think about stamping when tragedies like this occured. It will be good to have something handy just in case I should ever need one again, hopefully I won't.

We had two friends last year who's babies were born with severe birth defects and only lived a few hours, so heart wrenching, you just never know what to say. Thankfully one family now has twin boys keeping them busy, and the other, an unwed mother, is struggeling to keep herself afloat.

I feel so bad for her, her daughters birthday just passed and she is swimming a sea of sadness that no one knows how to rescue her from. It was so terrible, we had small workshop for her so she could order stamps to make announcements and scrapbook her pictures, and then a few weeks later she found out about the birth defects and that the baby would not make it.

Thanks for the challenge, I will participate, even if I don't post my results. Sorry for rambeling!! {{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} to everyone, whether you have had to suffer this or just know someone who has. Go and hug your kiddos, I know I'm going to.

[webseitler]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kwhittek

I have had several instances unfortunately in the last year where a card like this would have come in handy, however I just could not sit down and think about stamping when tragedies like this occured.

That is exactly how I feel too. Time to stockpile, while the sun is shining...

I'm thankful for this challenge.

[Wendy G]

Gosh this was so hard for me! I didn't know what to do. I used the word "baby" from Noteworthy on this card. Please let me know what you think. Is that a bad thing??

Gallery at Splitcoaststampers

[Verda]

Oh my goodness, this is such a sad thread. The thought that someone lost a child makes me sad wheather I know them or not. It makes me cry to even read this thread. Hugs and prayers to all that need them! I am not sure I can sit down and make a card but I will certainly try. Jen hug your son and say a prayer for your child in heaven. Good luck on the walk.

[ruby-heartedmom]

Thanks, Jen, for making us think in a vein we don't like to think of. I once had a demo tell me that she would never make a sympathy card because the event was too solemn to send a homemade card. I disagreed then and still do. I think it is a unique way to show that you care--especially when that person knows that you make cards for other occasions.

Here is one:
Baby Sympathy

I also already had this one in my gallery. It was kind of dark for a baby card, but would be great for this challenge if you change the word bliss to "So sorry..." from Hope for Comfort. The card I originally posted is here:
Baby Bliss

[winnie_555]

I agree Beverly. I think that a handmade card in this situation would be great. Homemade cards mean that someone spent extra time thinking about you. Picking a card at a store can take seconds...when making that perfect card can take hours (we all know this). I would feel much more touched receiving a homemade card.

I have been lucky enough to not have experienced such a loss in my life. I don't have children yet, nor have I tried. This is, however, one of my worse fears. A girlfriend of mine had a phantom pregnancy a few years back, just a month before conceiving her, now 2 year old, daughter. It was really hard for her and I know it was hard to know how to act around her, especially in the first few months of her second pregnancy...where she was sure she was going to loose the baby. It was rough. I'm glad it all worked out. Anyways, here's the card I hope to never use.

Gallery at Splitcoaststampers