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Unread 12-22-2004, 02:24 PM   #3
tmarie's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,689

Here is another...not a poem, but might work for you.

You Know You're Addicted to Coffee If...

Instant coffee takes too long.

Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.

People get dizzy just watching you.

People use your hands to blend their margaritas.

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

Sleep is a poor substitute for coffee

Starbuck's owns the mortgage on your house.

The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.

You answer the door before people knock.

You can jump-start your car without cables.

You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.

You channel surf faster without a remote.

You chew on other people's fingernails.

You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

You don't sweat, you percolate.

You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

You lick your coffeepot clean.

You name your cats Cream and Sugar.

You short out motion detectors.

You ski uphill.

You sleep with your eyes open.

You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet and Low.

You're so wired you pick up FM radio.

You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

You've worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug.

You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.

You've worn the finish off you coffee table
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