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Unread 08-14-2011, 08:49 PM   #384
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Join Date: Mar 2004
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Posts: 4,235

Originally Posted by Cynamom View Post

I am SORRY you have to go through life like this. I hate that I have coasted through so much of it unhappy. I hope that you find light at the end of the tunnel SOON. And I am glad you are here to share with us. I am new here, but not new to the world of divorce!

Thanks, Cindy. The past few weeks have been especially difficult. My father passed away last week after a long illness and I have not received the support from my husband that I so badly need. It has been a week since my father passed away, and I still don't think my father-in-law (who only lives 12 miles from us in another town) even knows about his death. Telling him is something I think his son (my husband) should have shared.

This past week has been full of reflection about my father ... not only of my own thoughts and stories shared with my mother, but hearing stories from his friends, neighbors and former co-workers. He was a quiet, gentle man, and very much respected. He put family first and never asked for anything in return. It has made me take a good hard look at my own marriage and I realize just how much I don't want to stay married. My husband is a self-proclaimed loner, very judgemental, incredibly prejudice, and extremely intolerable. He has always said I married the wrong man, and until this past week I didn't realize just how right he is. I should have married someone like my father, and my heart aches for my three children, whom I have always felt missed out on so much.

My husband is very deep in credit card debt, and we have absolutely no savings, no college funds, no retirement, no investments, and a house that is worth less than what we owe on it.

I am seriously considering going back to work full time and paying off my own debt (approx. $10,000) as quickly as I can, then retaining an attorney. Realistically, I know it will probably be 2-3 years before I can do this. It is a daunting situation.

Right now I feel trapped, but also hopeful.
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