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I slave away () for hours making an adorable (if I should say so myself) dog card. Show it to my mom. "Oh, that's nice. Did you see the rutabaga in the fridge?" Huh. So I show my best friend, who barely glances at it. "Oh, that's nice." Same as my mom. Word for word. (Except the rutabaga part.)
Is it too much to ask for a little excitement? A little recognition for a job well done? An "ooh" or "aah" for a unique piece of art? It's disheartening to hear a distracted "Oh, that's nice." Might as well just be honest and say, "You know, I really don't care."
Most of the time I can just shrug it off, but sometimes, like today, an "Oh, that's nice" stings. :(
Anyone else experiencing this?
__________________ Debra ---artist * teacher * designer Say yes. Be generous. Speak up. Love more. Trust yourself. Slow down. ---Patti Digh
You need a best friend who stamps:twisted:. I think most of us here can relate to the feeling of, "Don't you actually have something real to say about my card?" And I think that's why so many of us hang out here so much of the time!
ouch! My mom is a stamper so she appreciates all the time and energy that go into making cards.
Here's a story for you along the same lines...
One of the women I know as an acquaintance through our school was in charge of the school auction this year. In the past, someone has always made beautiful handmade invitations so I offered my services to make the invitations this year - 200+ invites. This is a BIG job but I felt that I could whip up something easy and lovely. This gal proceeds to tell me that she doesn't want to "waste valuable resources making invitations that people are just going to throw in the trash anyways". :confused: In a sense, I was relieved... why go to this much effort if it would not be appreciated. After I walked away, I wished I had asked her if she sent invitations to her wedding, birthday cards to her mother, etc. Oh well, she won't be invited over to play anytime soon! LOL!
Sounds like my dh. I have to warn him when I want "oohs" and "aahs" from him! Now I just show my projects to my stamping buddies, who "ooh" and "aah" without any prompting! ;)
I think your people just need a little training. My husband has learned from years of, "oh that's nice? really? that's all you have to say?" and me walking away in a huff. he's really gotten into it. sometimes he takes it a little too far and will throw in a critique. "hmm, this space looks a little bare" or "you know what this could use? ribbon!". when i look at him, he dials back the excitement and will comment something like, "wow, that must've taken a long time to get just right." see, just a little training and you should be getting the responses you're looking for in no time. good luck!
__________________ MintStamps *By the time they had dwindled down from 25 to 8, the other dwarfs began to suspect Hungry.*
My hubby is very supportive of my hobby. He might not jump up and down but he always looks at every card and makes a nice comment.
My mom isn't a stamper but she's a quilter and we trade "showing off" time so we're both usually pretty excited about each other's work. Guess I'm lucky that way.
I'd be soooo aggravated if I put in the time to make a card or gift for someone and all I got was "that's nice". I'd probably never make that person another thing. They just don't know what they're missing ;)
If you know people you don't understand or appreciate what you do- aka don't "get it"- why would anyone continue to ask for opinions? If YOU like what you did that should be enough!
oh, I had to laugh when I read this! (and not in a mean way ) my MIL does this all the time on something I slaved away for, just for her and all I get is a "oh, nice". Thankfully, my own mum is a crafter and grants me the encouraging praise that is always needed!
Mostly, the only thing I can say is just to shrug it off. I don't know what else you can do. You could perhaps explain to her that her comments leave you feeling under appreciated in your abilities after you've spent a fair amount of time and effort on a craft that you enjoy whole-heartedly. Perhaps that may make her think ?
I think your people just need a little training. My husband has learned from years of, "oh that's nice? really? that's all you have to say?" and me walking away in a huff. he's really gotten into it. sometimes he takes it a little too far and will throw in a critique. "hmm, this space looks a little bare" or "you know what this could use? ribbon!". when i look at him, he dials back the excitement and will comment something like, "wow, that must've taken a long time to get just right." see, just a little training and you should be getting the responses you're looking for in no time. good luck!
Yup! ITA! My hubby now will rave over my card before he even sees it. LOL Which is why I love it here on SCS...at least you all know what it's all about!
Oh yes, I always tell my husband what I want his reaction to be beforehand, just so I'm not disappointed by it. I'll say "Honey, look at THIS!" and proudly show him my card, or blog posting, or drawer that I cleaned out, cake that I baked, or whatever.
And then I'll tell him "You're supposed to tell me how amazing it is now, okay? Feel free to gush and use lots of exciting adjectives." He's finally getting it.
And in return, I occasionally pretend to care about his golf or baseball game.
I'll bet the same system could work with other people too. ;)
Yep, use to happen all the time around here until I totally blew up and had a hissy fit. THEN everyone decided it was better to keep Mom happy by telling her what a great job she did. LOL
I definitely think you should say, "You know, making cards and paper crafting make me happy and its important to me. Don't you think you could pay just alittle more attention?"
Of course, from my experience, a hissy fit does the trick! --wink, wink!!--
I know my DH just isn't into my hobbies, so I don't ask his opinion. Fortunately, I have several co-workers & friends who are crafters and appreciate the work that goes into a project. If he started gushing over a card, I would wonder what the heck was going on with him. After 34 years, I guess I know him too well.
__________________ Accountant by Day, Scrapper by Night
My Mom has told me that she keeps every card I have made for her. I tease her that she probably thought she was done keeping my art projects like she did when I was in preschool. I am very fortunate to have people in my life that understand and appreciate the work that goes into a handmade card. I am also fortunate to have a wonderful husband that tries to make an effort to seem enthused when I show him my latest creation.
I think your people just need a little training. My husband has learned from years of, "oh that's nice? really? that's all you have to say?" and me walking away in a huff. he's really gotten into it. sometimes he takes it a little too far and will throw in a critique. "hmm, this space looks a little bare" or "you know what this could use? ribbon!". when i look at him, he dials back the excitement and will comment something like, "wow, that must've taken a long time to get just right." see, just a little training and you should be getting the responses you're looking for in no time. good luck!
So do you use cookies or some other type of "treat" for positive reinforcement?
I find it's also helpful to have my hubby around when I give cards to other people...he always gives them hints like, "Did you see that stitching? Sweetie did that!"
I've just gotten to the point where I don't bother sending/showing cards to those that I know won't appreciate them. It's a lot less effort, and I don't feel neglected
So do you use cookies or some other type of "treat" for positive reinforcement?
I find it's also helpful to have my hubby around when I give cards to other people...he always gives them hints like, "Did you see that stitching? Sweetie did that!"
nah. my being happy is all the motivation they need. and i should add i only go to him if it's a card he needed me to make for him or if one of our daughters is not around. he's actually really supportive and just wants me to be happy. so much easier than therapy!
__________________ MintStamps *By the time they had dwindled down from 25 to 8, the other dwarfs began to suspect Hungry.*
my fiance says "Cute!".... to everything... even sophisticated-looking sympathy cards.. "CUTE" is the worst thing he could say because some of my cards are definately not cute!!!
__________________
{Gallery}{Blog}
I design for: Stampendous!, There She Goes, Technique Tuesday,
SRM Stickers and Deconstructed Sketches.
My DH is very supportive of any hobby that I do. He especially loves my quilting. He thinks that my cards are to die for, when I think that they are just O.K. My MIL on the other hand, has never appreciated anything that I have done for her crafty wise, so I just gave up. I send her a generic store bought card for every occasion now, and if it makes her feel left out, then so be it. I am so done being hurt by the rude and I do mean rude comments made by her. One year for Christmas I made her a lovely quilted wall-hanging, and when she opened it up, she looked right at me, and said, "what do you expect me to do with this thing?". Enough said. I do for those that appreciate my work, and for those that don't give a darn, they get a lovely store bought gift and card.
I am one of the lucky ones. My husband and grown kids all appreciate what I do with paper crafts, and they love to see what I have made.
I will show some things to others in my family, but I know that they will have something stupid to say about whatever I have made, so I just don't listen anymore. I also can talk to Ed on the way home, and he will reassure me that I do good work.
i was on vacation this past spring with another couple and my girlfriend is a crafter and stamper. I took card making stuff along and played with them while I was there. One of the best parts of a nice vacation was that my friend looked at my cards-without prompting-and made wonderful comments! iit was so nice and I think DH appreciated not having to oooo and ahhh!
Oh, this thread makes me laugh! Yup, get it all the time.....
__________________ Anjou My Gallery * My Blog - Dreaming in Color "Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so." - Belva Davis
You're not alone. I get that same sentence from my husband. Some people just don't know what to say. They find it hard to express enthusiasm over things they would not be interested in doing themselves and forget that their lack of enthusiasm might translate into, "It could be better." to us.
__________________ "The smallest feline is a masterpiece".... Leonardo da Vince
Oh I've been through this many times!! I hear ya'!!
Wait until one of your card recipients wins the nobel prize or something and go with the. Oh that's nice.
Revenge is sweet!!
seriously, keep repeating....I do this for myself. I will not cut off my ear over stamping.
Whaatt???? We arent suppose to do that? *goes off in search of her Tombow Multi-purpose glue* rofl!
LOL! Yep, used to get it too! I say USED to because I finally got them all trained, haha! I'll say, 'Look, and dont just give me 'cute, or 'oh pretty!' I want more than that!'
Nah...but seriously, I would probably quit showing them myself if all I got was that all the time, and would still enjoy doing it because I do do it MOSTLY for myself, lol.
Yup I get my feeling hurt ALL the time..I think it is because I EXPECT the same sort of reaction I give. It hardly EVER happens. DD is not a crafty person and her reation is always luke warm. DS used to give me a better response until I told him I cased a card he loved , now he always asks where I stole it from (he has a really funny sense of humor). DH always says "It's BE-U-TI-FUL" I know what to expect from my family
and I'm OK with it. I'll tell you what really bugs me...I belong to a stamping club.
I have asked on several occaisions that we give each person a chance to talk
about their card (techniques, stamps and papers used) and it might happen the day I
bring it up. The rest of the time the cards are swapped in a big old hurry so the the "rushed" members can leave. I spend alot of time on my cards and I hate that they don't get comments by fellow members. I try to let the people know how much I like their cards on an individual level, because we don't do it on a "club" level.
__________________ Bev
Organized People are just too lazy to hunt for things!!!
Some of these posts are reminding me that I'm lucky. Most of my family also does paper crafting, so they appreciate things. Those relatives who don't craft are in awe of the ones who do.
My dbf will look, then tell me how talented I am. I have a harder time with that than with just a "oh, that's nice"! Because I know how much more talented some of you ladies out there are than me! ;)
I have to admit my close family (DH, DD, DS, mom) really go on and on about how nice it is (even when it is my worse :confused! However, it did sting this past weekend when my cousin received one of my cards in a bag of birthday presents for her son. I had to ask her to open the bag, then remind her there was more than 1 present in there, THEN at the end remind her that there was a card in there! I felt as if I almost had to ask for the "thank you" I got as well! Then my aunt (her mom), says, "oh, she makes those. They are always so cute." However, she didn't say it like she meant it, it was almost like, "oh, ANOTHER CARD HANDMADE"!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like it isn't appreciated sometimes. I use to do it b/c it was cheaper than going out and buying one, and I enjoyed it. However, now I'm finding .59 cards at Target and some other places, and it is almost easier to get one of those, for some people who don't appreciate the effort!
I feel your pain. My husband doesn't get it either. Fortunately, I have a group of crafting friends who encourage, support, and give positve feed back. They are great!
I actually get pretty embarrassed if someone gushes over my project (IRL, not here, you guys can gush all you want!) I like people to thank me for things I've made for them, but I get embarrassed if they make too big a deal of it.
__________________ Marcy Wolf Creek Crafting
I just love the smell of Stazon in the morning!
...from experience, those same folks who barely acknowledge your handmade card are the first to notice when they *don't* get one, LOL!
Got a great compliment from hubby on Monday night on a retirement card I made for DD's principal, "Wow, that doesn't even look home-made" - well, I took it as a great compliment - ha!ha! At least I know he looked.
Hubby is actually pretty good at dishing out compliments (that at least come across as semi-heartfelt) and has even tried to make a few cards himself. This was after I gave him the eyeroll one year when he gave me a card from my own stash for my birthday; "I forgot to buy a card, since we *never* buy cards since you started making them" he whined...
And he does a good job of not commenting on the number of online purchases on the Visa some months. I think I'll keep him.
Got a great compliment from hubby on Monday night on a retirement card I made for DD's principal, "Wow, that doesn't even look home-made" - well, I took it as a great compliment - ha!ha! At least I know he looked.
Ha, I showed my hubby a card that I made and he said, "You know, if you do it this well, people will start to think a machine a did it." Which would be nice, if he wasn't talking about the sentiment I printed on the computer! ;)
"Oh. That's nice."
