Doesn't anyone like cards?

[MamaSchwich]

So I have been really busy this semester in nursing school, and got a bit behind in my birthday/anniversary cards. I don't have a lot of DH's family member's addresses (someone's always moving/getting divorced/getting married, as it's a really big family), so I just thought I'd bring them with me... Brought eleven different cards, all ones that I had spent extra time on, each one original for that person.
I gave them all out individually, somewhat discreetly... NOT ONE person thanked me or even cared. Most looked at the card, then set down on the table in a pile. A few didn't even open theirs. It made me rethink this hobby. I am spending my time, money, and creative energy in the studio, thinking about the people I care about, and trying to do something to make their day. If they don't even care, then why do I even bother?
Do any of you get any responses from people to assure me that someone does care? I am selling my plasma to pay for this hobby, and somehow, if no one cares, then I quit. It's just not worth my time if it doesn't even affect anyone.

[gv-copperdog]

Lori, I wouldn't give up. Although I love to give the cards and gifts away, I really participate in this hobby for my own sanity. It has been huge therapy for me through some very tough times. I don't bother thinking that I'm going to get recognition from the people I'm giving the card to, as most people don't look at our cards much differently than a store-bought card. I checked out your gallery, and I can see you're very talented. I say if you enjoy it, keep doing it.

[KristaTracy]

Sorry to hear about your experience. If you enjoy the process of making cards and can afford it, then I say continue it. For me, it is a creative outlet and enjoyable itself. If others appreciate receiving my cards, well that's a bonus for me.

[Joan B]

Do it for yourself. Most of my coworkers make fun of my stamping. Whatever!

(I hope you are not really selling your plasma for this hobby. If so, I would seriously re think the hobby...)

[kathy101599]

i totally agree. i also checked out your gallery and seems to me like you are better with the tougher projects,which btw are beautiful.(double fold pockets...)so why stop if you love it?

[mungojerry]

Do you give cards to hear thanks or do you do it because it makes you feel good or because you think it's the right thing? Anytime we give of ourselves, it should be because it makes us feel happy and not because we want others to praise, or validate us. Giving to others does not always make others happy.

To some, that may sound harsh but I really don't mean it that way. Giving to others is really a great thing to do but if you are awaiting praise each time, it will only lead to bitterness.

Now, it is, of course, polite to say thanks but sometimes people just don't. And, sometimes, it's because they get distracted, sometimes they may feel badly about not remembering you, and sometimes it's because they are just plain rude. Don't try to figure it out, it will lead to madness.

Now, I'm certain that 95% of the cards I give get a glance and then go in the bin. (I really hope that at the very least, they are recycled.) This is why it's important to send them through the mail. ;) You don't see what happens to them.

People probably appreciate them more than it appears they do.

[nancystamps]

If you give up your hobby, can I move into your awesome stamping space? Just kidding! Your gallery is beautiful, and judging by your cards and how your organize your supplies, you DO enjoy the hobby, so don't give up. Do it for yourself, not everyone will appreciate them (aren't families SPECIAL) but I'll bet you find some customers and card recipients that will go gaga for them!

[Paula O.]

Don't give up something that you enjoy and that makes you happy. I stamp because I love doing it--I rarely give away the cards! Here's a little story that I hope makes you feel better. My mom doesn't show a lot of emotion--she's very reserved. She's never said much about the cards I've given her, but when she moved earlier this year, I found all the cards I've made for her in a special place. Plus she keeps the Charlie Brown Christmas card I made her displayed on her desk. So if I've made only ONE person happy, it was worth it.

[LateBlossom]

Another point...some people are very undemonstrative and will never say anything appreciative to your face, but they are sincerely moved by your thoughtfulness. You may never know until you visit their house and see your card framed and on the wall, or until they pass away, and a box of your cards is found on their bedside table. My point is, you may NEVER know what's going on in someone's heart, but your act of creative kindness may make a huge impact nevertheless.

The way I look at it, if even one of my cards makes someone happy, then the whole hobby is worth it. And since it always makes me happy, it's definitely worth it.

[McDeb]

I agree with the other comments. I make cards as a form of therapy also, but in addition to giving them to family & friends, I also sell them at work & donate the proceeds to a homeless shelter. Otherwise, I would have cards coming out of my ears, lol. Hang in there if you love your hobby!

[askagain]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LateBlossom

Another point...some people are very undemonstrative and will never say anything appreciative to your face, but they are sincerely moved by your thoughtfulness.

Have to agree with this.... especially in a work setting. People are thinking of other things and often don't want to make a fuss with so much else going on.

I think if you love doing it... keep it up. Your cards are wonderful and even if people don't appreciate the craftsmanship, they'll definitely appreciate the thought!

[nestof3]

You could always donate your cards to Cards for Heroes. I plan to send some of mine there. It seems like a great cause to create for.

Most people are moved by and comment on my cards, but I am okay with the fact that most of them are thrown away. I really cannot expect people to save correspondence from everyone. I do have a few friends who I know save them.

I don't save handmade cards unless they are from a special person, but I do re-purpose them. I will take the front off the card and use it on another card.

Sometimes I write on a little piece of paper and insert it into the cards I give people so that the person can actually use my card to give to someone else.

[itsme]

I don't bulk make many of my cards because I can't just pick up a card and use it, when I make a card I have a person in mind when making it. It also sadens me when people don't card about the card I made. At work no one cares to make cards but they know about how much work I put into one so they qush, I think just to make me happy, so I am happy to donate cards for people at work.

[larue]

I looked at your gallery too and it is absolutely gorgeous and you have a thoughtful, loving heart. Try not to let others get you down. Concentrate on how much enjoyment you had making the cards and I know our troops or places like goodwill or salvation would love to have some of your beautiful cards, and the recipients would appreciate them.
I have a friend that donates to them, and they fly out the door.
Blessings to you.

[Johanna7]

Some of my card recipients really love them and keep them forever and profusely thank me for them.

Now others (my sisters) think it is very 'cheap' and ask if I cannot afford a card from the dollar store.

I do send those the dollar store variety.

Some may not even realize if they are handmade.

[Mrsjvb]

I gotta ask: did you use the Thanksgiving holiday to give somebody a birthday card from four months ago? or did you give everybody a Thanksgiving card?

cuz, frankly, if I got a birthday card that late, I would think less of it and the thought behind it.. too lazy to get it out on time, too cheap to spring for the stamp, etc and so on.

Toss in the fact that they were NOT expecting to get such a card in the middle of a big gathering, and yes, I can see why you got the (lack of) response you did.

I make cards cuz I like to. I have no idea is anyone who receives them actually cares that they were handmade or if they even notice( well, my MIL knows and does appreciate it, but she's way more crafty than I am so she understands). any spares I have lying around I send to Cards For Heroes because I KNOW they appreciate them.

[kitty14]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaSchwich

So I have been really busy this semester in nursing school, and got a bit behind in my birthday/anniversary cards. I don't have a lot of DH's family member's addresses (someone's always moving/getting divorced/getting married, as it's a really big family), so I just thought I'd bring them with me... Brought eleven different cards, all ones that I had spent extra time on, each one original for that person.
I gave them all out individually, somewhat discreetly... NOT ONE person thanked me or even cared. Most looked at the card, then set down on the table in a pile. A few didn't even open theirs. It made me rethink this hobby. I am spending my time, money, and creative energy in the studio, thinking about the people I care about, and trying to do something to make their day. If they don't even care, then why do I even bother?
Do any of you get any responses from people to assure me that someone does care? I am selling my plasma to pay for this hobby, and somehow, if no one cares, then I quit. It's just not worth my time if it doesn't even affect anyone.

Unfortunately, my friends and I have met with the same attitude with our handmade cards. It used to be very discouraging. However, now we have come to the conclusion that people just do not realize how much time, effort and thought (not too mention cost!) goes into cardmaking. "Handmade", for some reason, in today's society do not seem to be valued by many people.

We have decided that we must make cards because we enjoy doing it and accept the fact that the card will meet with a lukewarm response and secondly, we could just make cards for other stampers who will appreciate the effort. It's the only way we can keep ourselves from feeling letdown.

[Scrapjanny]

I'm not going to make excuses for people who have no manners, because there is no excuse for that. It doesn't matter when you give a card. The fact that you hand made each and every one should have been acknowledged, and a simple thank-you isn't too much to expect.

That being said, I really hope you aren't selling your plasma, and that you're just exaggerating to make your point. I believe that we should live within our means and buy things that won't bankrupt us. With all the cool supplies and tools coming out practically every day, this is sometimes difficult; but we must remember that this is a hobby for most of us.

I would also advise that you not stop stamping and creating. Give the cards to people who will appreciate them, even if you have to donate them to a hospital or organization that sends cards to our soldiers.

I would have told those family members that I worked very hard on the cards and put a lot of love into them, so the least they could do was say thank you. They might not ever speak to me again, but then I wouldn't have to go to all that trouble to make them cards again. :mrgreen:

Chin up, and keep stamping.

[juliemlacey]

I've never had a reaction like that to my cards! Maybe I would rethink who I'm sending/giving them to! ;) Don't give up your hobby...

[MariLynn]

I noticed that you are a member of the RAK group. I am sure that any card that you have sent out has been received for the work of art that they are and appreciated for the time put into creating them. It sound like you are looking for a little validation on your cards. One of the fun things that some of us are doing is a one card swap in the RECEIVE A CARD, SEND A CARD thread. It is a lot of fun. You pm you address to the last person on the list. They will send you one of their cards. Then the person who signs up after you, you send them one of your cards. Here is the thread if you are interested:

Forums at Splitcoaststampers

[SCEmily]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johanna7

Some may not even realize if they are handmade.

That's what I'm thinking. I hand out Christmas cards every year on Christmas, and some people I didn't get much of a response out of for a while. Then one year, someone was talking about the cards I made, and a few of the unresponsive one's overheard and could not believe I made them. They all thought they were store bought, in which case I could see them not saying much.

What if you get one of those stamps that say something like "a handmade card for you". You could stamp that on the envelope to make sure people realize it's handmade. Most people don't look at the back.

But no matter what the case may be, even if they did realize they were handmade cards and had a problem with that, so what! You enjoy this, that is no reason to stop. Somebody cares, and will be thrilled to receive a handmade card from you!

[stamphappy1650]

We have 5 sisters (the Aunts) that make cards. I'm the late mailer in the family. I'm the one who makes the card and then never sends it. In my family we have a sister who is always on time with her mailings whereas the rest of us are a mix - someones we get it done on time and other times we are late.

Everyone in our family expects a handmade item for "the Aunts." So if you get a Halloween card in November, it's OK because we figure we'll have a surprise next year when we put up our cards.

We always get a thank you and kind words about how pretty because that is what our family does. Even if we don't like the card as much as others, we would never say so. We all (yes the entire family) display our cards.

So because of how my family treats our art, if I was around people that never said a word, I would no longer make cards for THEM. I would still make cards for friends, non-profits, to sell, just for myself, but not for the ones who ALL say not one word. Nope, nada, nothing for them.

I looked at your gallery and you have lovely work. Shame on them for not saying a word. You just keep stamping for joy of stamping.

[sharonw05]

Well, fooey on your ungrateful family!

If you love making cards, and it makes you happy, then I say, keep on doing it!

I'm the world's worst card sender--even if I get them made, they don't always go out on time. I figure it's an unexpected surprise for the recipient!

I'm off to check out your gallery!

[ekip2]

Quite a few years ago I decided to rethink who I gave handmade gifts or items to. I used to cross stitch and gave many intricate large gifts to family and it was so unappreciated. I saw them in the back of closets, under beds and not on the walls etc. Now I only give handmade gifts to people that either craft (and therefore appreciate the effort) or who I know from prior responses appreciate it.

I make stuff cuz I like to make it. I've learned not everyone realizes the time and effort that goes into making things - cards included. If you haven't made one, you don't realize the thought that goes into choosing the supplies, finding the right "design" and executing it.

Don't stop making cards. Just give them to people who value them.

Just a thought - do you think it was that the cards were handed to them and not mailed at the time of the occasion as well as their not appreciating them? Sorry you went thru this. Andrea

[MamaSchwich]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrsjvb

I gotta ask: did you use the Thanksgiving holiday to give somebody a birthday card from four months ago?

The cards were the birthday cards from the end of November that I didn't get out, not four months ago...
And considering that I pretty much have never gotten a card or a Happy Birthday from any one of them, at least a smile would have been nice...

[MamaSchwich]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scrapjanny

I'm not going to make excuses for people who have no manners, because there is no excuse for that. It doesn't matter when you give a card. The fact that you hand made each and every one should have been acknowledged, and a simple thank-you isn't too much to expect.

I guess that's exactly what I was thinking...

[Anemone]

I'm sorry that happened to you.
I've noticed though, that sometimes people really appreciate the cards I give, even though they don't say so at the time. I've given Christmas cards to all my colleagues for years and had several that have never said anything at all. Just this past summer, I found out that one of those colleagues who never said anything had SAVED every. single. Christmas card I'd made for them. I was completely shocked. I recently changed jobs, and no longer work there, but they will be getting a Christmas card in the mail from me.

[ctychick]

I agree with everyone above, especially the part about doing it for the pure enjoyment of stamping.

Over the years, however, I've become very selective about who of my family/friends gets handmade cards. Part of my enjoyment is THEIR enjoyment. If a recipient doesn't feel a little extra-special for having received one of my cards, then I just don't bother. Crafting time and $$ is too precious these days to spend it on someone who is indifferent. Fortunately my close family - even my 37 yo brother - truly enjoys getting handmade cards from me. That's enough for me.

A suggestion... why not try other papercrafting projects that you can keep and enjoy for yourself? I'm just about to alter an unfinished wood tissue box for my daugher's room. I also do alot of other home decor projects. This way, I can gush over my own work whenever I want!!

[MamaSchwich]

Well, I guess I need to explain a little more. I didn't hand them out all at once, I gave them one at a time, throughout the day, so as not to make a spectacle. I started doing it for the family (my in-laws), because this is a family that spends far more time swearing at each other than caring about one another. There is always a feud between somone going on, and most of the brothers and sisters don't bother to say Happy Birthday or anything else to one another because they just don't care. Most of them are trying to take custody away from each other, or other things that get you on the Jerry Springer show. My husband's Grandma always used to send out cards, but since she died, no one does. I didn't want a lot of gushing, or even a sweetly spoken thank you. I didn't expect any cards in return, I just wanted each of them (and this is what I think every time I send them from home, too) to feel like someone remembered and cared that s/he had a birthday.
What I saw was nothing, not even a glimmer of care in their eyes. Most of them couldn't/wouldn't even look me in the eyes. It made me feel silly for caring how they felt inside, like it was stupid to hope I made their day, or even their moment.

And yes, I DO sell plasma, because it makes me happy to make cards. I know that some people do feel a little happy to know that they are thought of, and I like to do it. It is my outlet, and plasma isn't hard to make... It's actually quite common among my friends who are stay-home-moms (I was one, too, I have three children) to earn money for things they want to do (scrapbooking, vacation, clothes, shoes, WHATEVER), and many college kids do it for beer money (yeah, it's no secret). So I really don't think it's a big deal to sell it for stamping money, just the same as if my hobby were shopping for shoes...
So for those of you who understood, thanks. I guess I am not the best at saying what I mean, so some of you may still be shaking your head. That's okay.
Blessings,

[Sibilance7]

Lori,

I totally understand everything you're saying. I've decided that I like making cards because it's fun, and I don't care anymore whether anyone appreciates that I care about them or put work into making a card for them. Anotehr thing I wanted to say was that maybe some of those who didn't open their cards just feel awkward about opening things in front of people. I know I'm that way. You never know - maybe they took it home and admired it there!

[ekip2]

Ok here is a thought - given what you just wrote about how they don't acknowledge each others birthdays and how they fight amongst themselves - I get the feeling that you would have gotten the same response (or really lack of a response) if you gave them a purchased card. Either they are uncomfortable that you remembered/cared about the birthdays when they don't or perhaps their dynamics are such that they just don't want to acknowlege birthdays. Sounds like you need to find a more appreciative audience.

[rusticus]

I have had a similar response and now only make cards for people that I know appreciate the time and effort that has gone in to making that card. Even at Christmas there are a few handmade cards and the rest get shop bought cards.
Approximately 6 years ago m stepdaughter was getting married for the second time. I made her a very special wedding card - she opened it, said hmm and gave it to her little girl to play with!!!!!! I was gutted and she has never had another hand made card. I have had the reaction so many times of 'what couldn't you be bothered to buy a card'?

I craft for my enjoyment now and life is too short to worry about these others!

Lynn

[MamaSchwich]

Oh, Lynn, that is awful! I would have been crushed...
I think you are all right, there are some people who won't appreciate it, so perhaps store bought cards will be the way to go for them (or none at all, I guess).
Thanks for your kind words!

[NancyK.]

Dear Lori,
I think you are so very thoughtful to actually hand make a card and think of that person on their day. Yes, people should at least acknowledge the thought, if nothing else but to be polite, but some just won't. I think some of your family deep down truly appreciates what you do, and maybe can't find the simple words to thank you.
I too thought you were being "cute" when you said you were selling plasma for money for hobbies and just about fell out of my chair when you said that is was true!!
Girl - you get the award for going that extra step - not only to do something you love, but also to do it in such a way that benefits others! I am humbled.
And - your gallery is lovely!

[jazzytobi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaSchwich

And yes, I DO sell plasma, because it makes me happy to make cards. I know that some people do feel a little happy to know that they are thought of, and I like to do it. It is my outlet, and plasma isn't hard to make... It's actually quite common among my friends who are stay-home-moms (I was one, too, I have three children) to earn money for things they want to do (scrapbooking, vacation, clothes, shoes, WHATEVER), and many college kids do it for beer money (yeah, it's no secret). So I really don't think it's a big deal to sell it for stamping money, just the same as if my hobby were shopping for shoes...

i thought you were selling your plasma TV!!! not plasma... i don't even know what that is?! i've never heard of that in Canada.

i've had similar experiences in my life, but i usually hear from a third party that Mr. so-and-so said i did amazing cards, even though they said NOTHING to me.... so let's just hope they gave you a second thought....

[MamaSchwich]

Jazzytobi,
Some drug companies use blood plasma from donors to make blood products for hemophiliacs, cancer patients, AIDS patients, and other immunocompromised patients (remember the Boy in the Bubble from the 80's? Like him). They pay the donors for their time, because it takes about 4-5 hours a week to donate twice. My son received plasma products and pharmaceuticals when he went through his cancer and chemo treatment, so it's not a big thing for me to do it for others who need it. And, of course, the money for fun stuff doesn't hurt, either.
They filter out less than a liter, and return all of your red blood cells back to you (because they are harder for your body to replace, that's why you can only donate "whole blood" once every eight weeks). Your body replaces the plasma (many antibodies, proteins, and water) in less than two days.
Many big cities have plasma donation centers. I heard here on SCS that one woman's son donates in Florida, and makes like $85 a week! We're not quite so profitable her in WI, but $55 a week buys a few stamps...
;-)

[izzysmom]

The way you described your in-laws, the problem is them, not you. Your work is beautiful. Sounds like the in-laws have too many personal problems to demonstrate common courtesy and thank you. Don't stop being a thoughtful, considerate person just because they are jerks!

[RiverIsis]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ekip2

Ok here is a thought - given what you just wrote about how they don't acknowledge each others birthdays and how they fight amongst themselves - I get the feeling that you would have gotten the same response (or really lack of a response) if you gave them a purchased card. Either they are uncomfortable that you remembered/cared about the birthdays when they don't or perhaps their dynamics are such that they just don't want to acknowlege birthdays. Sounds like you need to find a more appreciative audience.

I tend to agree with you on this.

I have part of a family like this and I still send to them - it gives me joy to let them know I am thinking about them.

And they aren't handmade/homemade cards they are "couture/boutique" cards baby!;)

[Stamping Teacher]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaSchwich

The cards were the birthday cards from the end of November that I didn't get out, not four months ago...
And considering that I pretty much have never gotten a card or a Happy Birthday from any one of them, at least a smile would have been nice...

Wow. I'm so sorry you've been hurt by that experience! Don't let it keep you down. It is good to encourage one another (it's even BIBLICAL!!), and I see cardmaking as really going above and beyond to encourage our friends! And to be honest with you, I wouldn't stop making cards for THEM, despite their response! Just love 'em. They need it!

And I peeked at your gallery. Awesome, girl!

[MamaSchwich]

And WOW is all I can say, Jazzytobi! You inspire me to get the copics with the airbrush system afterall. Not that I can afford copics, my plasma doesn't run that fast! ;-) A girl can dream, though!