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Old 09-20-2006, 01:14 PM   #321
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Becuase we are canadian all specialist (dr's) are covered we pay nothing.
That would be wonderful!
We were just informed that all our insurance will pay for besides the reg dr visits is speech. Our DS does not have any problem with that besides he does not stop speaking...
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Old 09-20-2006, 01:18 PM   #322
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Services are just what Kelly mentioned. They are usually spelled out in the IEP. My son currently has speech, OT, PT, functional skills, adapted swimming - but in the past it also included things like consultations, social groups, etc. Services are the things your child needs to meet the goals in the IEP. They usually require a specific specialist to help meet the needs - ie: a speech therapist, etc. I hope this helps!
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Old 09-20-2006, 06:02 PM   #323
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I just had my bedtime chat with Andrew and he was crying because of something from recess, and now I want to curl up and cry

We gave him a ball for recess time because he finds recess with 300 kids extremely stressful. With a ball, he has something to do, and maybe, just maybe, somebody will want to play with him. Well, today he kicked the ball (he thought it would go over some girls' heads ) and hit a girl on the top of her head. Another girl said something to Andrew that truly scared him and now he is afraid to go to sleep. It took me 20 minutes to finally get him to tell me what was said (too embarrassed and scared to tell me). It was something about bad things going into his head He is truly scared and devestated that someone woud say such horrible things to him.

He also told me that he doesn't like school because of the quantity of writng. We do not yet have an IEP because he has only just started grade 1, but we should have one in place by Christmas. His psych and OT reports mention that writing will wear him down and that he needs alternatives to writing (scribe, computer recognition software, shorter questions, etc). I go out of town on Fri morning, and Andrew will not go to school tomorrow (high fever tonight from strep throat), so I cannot speak to his teacher until I get back in 2 weeks. *Hopefully* my DH will pick up the slack and speak to her on Friday or Monday when he goes back to school.
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Old 09-20-2006, 07:25 PM   #324
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The problem with the IEP is that most teachers don't look at it until about 2 months into school. By then, Connor is already in big trouble. The neurologist prescribes meds, which he can't get through the day without. I am just so worn out picking up the slack. I have to come home and tutor. After a less than stellar day at work, I don't have anything left for me much less Connor. I just feel that he should be getting more at school.
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Old 09-20-2006, 09:57 PM   #325
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The problem with the IEP is that most teachers don't look at it until about 2 months into school. By then, Connor is already in big trouble. The neurologist prescribes meds, which he can't get through the day without. I am just so worn out picking up the slack. I have to come home and tutor. After a less than stellar day at work, I don't have anything left for me much less Connor. I just feel that he should be getting more at school.
Is your son in Jr High? Is he mostly in a regular ed situation? My son is in 6th grade - he's autistic - and is in a self contained classroom. His teacher helps write his IEP. I can see where you would have trouble getting things done for him if he's changing classes and has lots of different teachers. But you would think the teachers would be aware and be on top of things right from the get go. It sounds like you have your hands full. I can surely feel for you and your frustration. Even though my ds is in a great classroom with an awesome teacher, I still feel the need to work with him at home as well. It's a never ending battle!!
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Old 09-21-2006, 05:15 PM   #326
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Diana,
He is in 8th grade in a regular classroom. I had a meeting with all of his teachers and they didn't know he had an IEP and most of them didn't know what Asperger's even was! I finally got him out of Spanish so he can have an extra period in Content Mastery where they will have help available for him. I am hoping that will help a little.
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Old 09-21-2006, 09:42 PM   #327
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Mary Kay,
Getting extra help during the day is always a good thing. I'm sure it will help him and maybe ease a little off your plate at home as well. I am just so surprised that the teachers first of all didn't know he had an IEP. and second of all, didn't know what Asperger's is??? Yikes - sounds like the teachers need to be educated. I find I'm always trying to educate other parents, friends, etc. - but you expect teachers to be on top of such things! Maybe now that their eyes have been opened, things will go a little better for your son.
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Old 09-22-2006, 06:24 AM   #328
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Mary Kay,

Why not start the year off with and updated IEP this what we do, I keep Megan home from school the first week, so when don't have to go through all the changes that happen, in our school they back to their old classrooms and teachers and when they have the numbers figured out then they go to their new class. So I keep her home the first week then we go on the second week and we have an IEP meeting in the second week.Makes sense for us new teacher, new IEP that way from day one they are apart of our team, I have found that when the teacher feels like a valuable member of the team the will from an incredible bond to the child. I know in HS this is a bit different, but as the parent you have a right to request a meeting or IEP meeting at anytime to discuss your concerns.
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Old 09-22-2006, 08:44 AM   #329
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Default MOM OF Autistic Boy/Girl TWINS:)

Hi, I am Ali:) I have been a single Mom for six years with little to no support and survived domestic violence. I recently married my first love. A custody issue came up when I wanted to move to live with my spouse out of state. It gave my mentally ill x husband lawyer the right to re-evaluate custody and conduct a 730 evaluation.

It was very hard on me financially, emotionally and mentally. Everything in my life including domestic violence and being molested by an older family friend and his encouraging of a family sibling. Despite all this, I passed. I won the custody battle of my precious angels and the right to move.


Now I have a Visitation Issue

A really sad thing is that the court does not look at support as a reason for not alloting visitation. My x who has never paid more than $2,000 in six years for these children is entilted to rights a man who always pays support is when it comes to visitation.

History


The court does not look a the fact his parents are millionaires and they have supported him and his girlfriend for years and never contributed one dime towards my children education or care..

Yet they insist they all love them so much? He is an attorney so he represented himself mostly. I paid over $100,000.00 in attorney fees by liens on the home we shared to protect my children from harm. This man has hired a hitman to kill me, threatned my life infront of the police and my angels.

Hard to believe, I know but all the truth.

My Dilemma


Now I have to convenience the court. Now that I have the right to move that flights for the children are unreasonable and not in the best interest of the children. We will be living in Colarado. A two hour flight for two severly Autistic twins w/severe behavioral issues or a 30 Hour Road trip our my only options for a five hour monitored visitation once a month in California.

Any Feedback or Opinions will Help

I need anyone to respond on what they think of this and if you have experience with this..please advise. I can not have them fly alone being one is non-verbal and they are both only six years of age. The children have issues of elopement, self injurious tantrums, screaming and yelling.

The hardship financially this will place on me to have a dead beat dad who won't even pay 315.00 a month for two kids to visit him for a five hour monitored visitation.

He abandoned them for four years and now he wants to play DAD. Makes good sense doesn't it??

I went under the miroscope,went broke and all the lawyers made money, but I have my angels still in my custody and they are safe:)

My Motto: Make Lemonade out of Lemons!


Ali in California
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Old 09-22-2006, 10:02 AM   #330
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Hi, Ali

My heart goes out to you, court battles are financially and emotionally exhausting. I had a simular expirence I am in Canada so our laws are probably a little different but I won sole custody and guardianship, with limited visitation, we also moved away.

My lawyer and I decided to sue for backpay he owed $10,000 and when we got everything to set up to proceed garnishing his paycheck we decided to offer him a deal I wanted sole custody and guardianship in exchange I would drop the case for backpay, we agreed on visits in my home with my hubby and myself supervising, for the first visit we had a conceller(SP?) to help with communication and rules. Worked out really well for us.
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Old 09-22-2006, 03:55 PM   #331
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Ali,
Big hugs to you. Does he really want to be with the kids or just make life rough for you? You may want to try working with the California Autism Society to see if they have any recommendations. Otherwise, I would seriously consider moving until he cries uncle and doesn't make such stupid demands. I am guessing that after he spends time with them, they will be an inconvenience to him. What a jerk! Sorry, but I can't believe that California laws would let this happen.
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Old 09-22-2006, 04:47 PM   #332
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Thank you for your undersanding, Katie I think you hit it on the nail...It is to control me. My X husband is a control freak. My husband is in Colorado, so I have to move if we are ever going to start our new life together.
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Old 09-25-2006, 11:12 AM   #333
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I would go to court with data to back-up your concerns. Like the frequency of times the kids elope and the frequency of the SIB's andmelt down, tantrums all of that stuff, to show how high needs they are. Show the court what is required to properly care for them and the amount of care they need. Especially in a travel situation.
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Old 09-25-2006, 02:08 PM   #334
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katiestamper
The problem with the IEP is that most teachers don't look at it until about 2 months into school. By then, Connor is already in big trouble. The neurologist prescribes meds, which he can't get through the day without. I am just so worn out picking up the slack. I have to come home and tutor. After a less than stellar day at work, I don't have anything left for me much less Connor. I just feel that he should be getting more at school.
I'm a mom and a teacher at the middle school level in Michigan.

Most general ed teachers don't know about Asperger's. It didn't used to be required to know about any disabilities in college. That has recently changed. But it doesn't help the majority of teachers.

Many special ed teacher's don't understand the spectrum, either. The problem is that the definition keeps changing. And again, it depends how long you've been out of college and learning new things.

General ed teachers don't look at IEPs. But your son should have a caseload teacher. She or he should have written a brief profile of Connor expalining his disability and any accommodations he may need in class. She also should have had a meeting with each general ed teacher by the end of the first week of school.
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Old 09-25-2006, 02:33 PM   #335
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Jen,
I know the caseworker should have done this, but she wasn't "technically" assigned until the 4th week! By that time, I had met with the Asst. Principal, spoke with him a few times and called all of his teaching team together to "teach" them about Connor. It's basically a lot of work, but if I didn't do it, he would fall through the cracks. I didn't hear about a whole bunch of problems until the last week of school last year. Just have to keep plugging along.
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Old 09-25-2006, 04:38 PM   #336
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Ali, you are in my thoughts and prayers. What a tough situation. I wish you all the best. Make sure to take time for yourself. Hugs to you and your kids.
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Old 09-25-2006, 11:50 PM   #337
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First, welcome Ali! You're third person I've known who lived in CA and had a horrid time with custody issues. From what little I know, the laws there are messed up! Anyway, good luck. I hope you and the kids get to CO soon.

Now, for my day/week. I started back to college last month and Jacob was okay with it at first, but now it's a struggle to get him to do his homework on days I have class - I finish in time to pick him and DD up, like usual, but there is a dress code for my school - business attire or chef's uniform. That seems to remind him that I'm really gone during the day and then I get all sorts of resistance on doing homework, etc. Last week, I got out in time to stop by our house and change clothes before I got them and it seemed to help. We'll see how tomorrow goes. He doesn't like change, even if it doesn't really effect him. It's not like I sit around the house all day while he's at school anyway, but I think that's his perception.

Then today about half of his reg ed class got a notice that they had posters due on Wed for health. Jacob thought he had missed turning in the poster and tried to hide the paper from his skills trainer. When the ST called him on it, Jacob had a melt down, literally as the dismissal bell was ringing! He'd had a great day up until that point, but blew it in the last few minutes. After we leave school and go to the library, he mentions that a class mate in spec ed class last day is tomorrow and he told her I would make cookies for her and the class i don't mind, but would have liked to have known this earlier in the day. His ST is going to talk to him tomorrow about not just volunteering me for things. I told Jacob I don't mind the baking (I'm culinary student), but he needs to ask to call me to see if it is okay first.
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Old 09-26-2006, 06:16 AM   #338
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OMG!! We had a neurotypical moment in our home! Megan is turning 10 tomorrow, she is excited about her birthday, talks about the cakes, hats, presents etc. I had hid all her presents in my craft room closet, normally she would never look for anything but............................................... ..she snooped!! she purposely seeked out her gifts I found her in her playroom with her new cloths and her Tickle Me Elmo on floor beside her! I told her I had to take the presents back they were for her birthday she was a little sad, but took it ok. I know it doen't seem like much but I was so proud, of course I didn't let her know, actually searching the house for her presents, boy have we come far.
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Old 09-26-2006, 02:07 PM   #339
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Kelly,

I have to laugh at that one. My son wouldn't even think of looking. The good part is I can hide things almost anywhere. This goes for his father also. They never notice new clothes, shoes or anything unless they are in their way in the middle of the floor.

Connor just told me today that he is really going to try hard for the rest of the school year. I am pretty sure that he flunked the first 6 weeks of Spanish, but I could tell that sitting and memorizing something he hated didn't work. He does know every Pokemon, Naruto and Ninja character in the world!
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Old 09-27-2006, 08:48 AM   #340
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[QUOTE=katiestamper]Kelly,

I have to laugh at that one. My son wouldn't even think of looking. The good part is I can hide things almost anywhere. This goes for his father also. They never notice new clothes, shoes or anything unless they are in their way in the middle of the floor. [QUOTE]

That's how Megan used to be, I am so excited about some of the progress she has made! This morning when I said Happy Birthday to her she said Happy Birthday back to me, thought it was quite cute, she thinks there is a social response to happy birthday, just like when you say merry christmas to someone and the say it back as a social curtisy, she does the same for happy birthday.........so cute
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Old 09-27-2006, 09:31 AM   #341
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Anybody watch House last night, it was a case involving a boy with severe autism.......had my crying in the end when the boy gave his game and eye contact to House.
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Old 09-27-2006, 04:48 PM   #342
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I saw the show and it was great. At the end, House's friend said something to the effect that "That's what makes it all worth it." I agree. We started Connor in Jujitsu and he now walks with his head up. This may not sound like much, but for him it is a major accomplishment. I'll take the little stuff.
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Old 09-27-2006, 06:52 PM   #343
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I love the little stuff! It makes me so proud to see her accomplish the little things. I am happy to hear Conner is enjoying his Jujitsu.
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Old 09-28-2006, 11:34 AM   #344
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Aren't NT moments great? Yeah Megan.

I'm glad Jujitsu is working out for Connor.
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Old 09-28-2006, 01:27 PM   #345
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I must agree with you ladies - it's the little things that mean the most!! I have run into many people that think I must have it rough, but they have no idea how my heart melted the first time my DS made eye contact and held it or when he actually said "I love you" unpromted. I live for the little things some days....

BTW.... he never looks for gifts - I could store them in his room and he wouldn't notice. You can't help but love the innocence!
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Old 09-28-2006, 11:17 PM   #346
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My little guy too, has no clue about the hiding of gifts. I could put a truck load of bags containing gifts in his room and he would not even notice. It they were out in the open, then he would open them.

My two girls on the other hand are very "aware" of everything around them. I'm going to have to find a really good hiding place this year for their gifts.
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Old 09-29-2006, 08:25 PM   #347
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I just wanted to pass this video along to you guys. I have a 3.5 year old son that is being evaluated for austim in November. My friend passed this along to me in email and I got teary eyed its soo powerful. I thought you might like to see it.

www.frinkfest.com
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Old 09-29-2006, 08:42 PM   #348
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beccasuehi
Hi Emmiestamps,

In reading your post as a special education teacher I have to ask the following? Does your daughter's school not provide extended school year services? If not, they are not in compliance with IDEA 2004 as extended school year services are necessary for some students who would show issues in regression (losing skills taught) and recoupment (regaining those skills) during the summer break. Here in Hawaii we offer ESY services to all students who qualify. The other services are scaled back, but still offered. Our ESY day is four hours and related service providers come in as needed based on the child's IEP.

Becky
My 3 year old son attends a preschool for early childhood that is run by the public school systems. They also close down for the summer and return back in september.
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Old 09-29-2006, 09:14 PM   #349
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mishy
I just wanted to pass this video along to you guys. I have a 3.5 year old son that is being evaluated for austim in November. My friend passed this along to me in email and I got teary eyed its soo powerful. I thought you might like to see it.

www.frinkfest.com
thanks for sharing that was a beautiful song!
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Old 09-29-2006, 09:38 PM   #350
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My son doesn't look for gifts. They could be in his view and wouldn't notice them... that's actually happened on several occassions... I'm just not used to having to be careful. ANyway, what I wanted to say was that now that he's at an age that kids usually figure out Santa (he's 11), he's finally just starting to get the concept of Christmas. His understanding just started 2 years ago. Now he asks for presents!
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Old 09-30-2006, 07:45 AM   #351
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Megan's 10 and she loves Christmas, the dat after halloween she starts asking if we can put up our trees. YES TREES, we have 7- 6.5' trees in the house, last year she wrote her first unpromted letter to Santa. She also drew this really neat picture. When she was younger she would not participate at all she wouldn't open her gifts, stay on the same room as us nothing. She has come a long way, since her dx.
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Old 09-30-2006, 01:55 PM   #352
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We had a very hard day yesterday (remember I am new to this). We had a dentist appointment. I take the kids to a pediatric dentist and they take the kids back in a big room, where no parents are allowed, to wait their turn. Seth usually does not ever leave me. I talked with him for days before about it. He goes wild when not in my company. My other kids come out with him and going down the stairs they inform me of all of the thngs he did like: try pulling down the TVs, turning off all the X-boxes and TVs, pulling out the games while others were playing, running from room to room asking when it was his turn (he kept telling them he had to talk to the dentist now!), demanding (his favorite thing to do) everyone to get him things and on and on and on. The hygentists could not control him. I drove all the way home just crying. Do I tell them from now on he does not go back until his turn and then comes right back out? The dentist usually waits until all 5 kids are done before he sends out the kids and talks to me. Whenever he is allowed to get out of control it takes me days to get him right again.
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Old 09-30-2006, 01:58 PM   #353
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Oh I forgot to add I found this site that has some great stuff
http://www.cafepress.com/buy/aspergers

I need this pin!
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Old 09-30-2006, 03:28 PM   #354
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Hugs to you Debbi, sounds pretty rough. I might explain to the dentist your concerns and tell him what it is that you would like to see happen. We send Megan to a pediatric dentist as well but he asked a zillion questions before approching her. He wanted to know everything, like what would set her off etc,.I know how hard it is to get them back in order after a great upset. Sending calming thoughts your way.
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Old 09-30-2006, 05:29 PM   #355
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Motherof6
We had a very hard day yesterday (remember I am new to this). We had a dentist appointment. I take the kids to a pediatric dentist and they take the kids back in a big room, where no parents are allowed, to wait their turn. Seth usually does not ever leave me. I talked with him for days before about it. He goes wild when not in my company. My other kids come out with him and going down the stairs they inform me of all of the thngs he did like: try pulling down the TVs, turning off all the X-boxes and TVs, pulling out the games while others were playing, running from room to room asking when it was his turn (he kept telling them he had to talk to the dentist now!), demanding (his favorite thing to do) everyone to get him things and on and on and on. The hygentists could not control him. I drove all the way home just crying. Do I tell them from now on he does not go back until his turn and then comes right back out? The dentist usually waits until all 5 kids are done before he sends out the kids and talks to me. Whenever he is allowed to get out of control it takes me days to get him right again.
I take DS to a pediatric dentist, too. They also specialize in taking care of special needs patients. I told them about DS's disability when I made his first appointment. They have special appointments for special needs kids. They are really awesome. For awhile, he was mildly sedated and wrapped for his cleanings, but it was best for everyone concerned. They weened him off the restrictive measures as he grew older and could handle it. He's 11 now, and dental appointments are a lot less stressful.
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Old 09-30-2006, 07:33 PM   #356
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Debbi, Thanks for the cool website, and sorry you had such a rough day. I'd definitely call and talk to the dentist about your little guy. They will probably be happy to make accomadations for him. We tried a couple of dentists before we found one that fit Caleb.
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Old 10-02-2006, 10:18 AM   #357
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Motherof6
We had a very hard day yesterday (remember I am new to this). We had a dentist appointment. I take the kids to a pediatric dentist and they take the kids back in a big room, where no parents are allowed, to wait their turn. Seth usually does not ever leave me. I talked with him for days before about it. He goes wild when not in my company. My other kids come out with him and going down the stairs they inform me of all of the thngs he did like: try pulling down the TVs, turning off all the X-boxes and TVs, pulling out the games while others were playing, running from room to room asking when it was his turn (he kept telling them he had to talk to the dentist now!), demanding (his favorite thing to do) everyone to get him things and on and on and on. The hygentists could not control him. I drove all the way home just crying. Do I tell them from now on he does not go back until his turn and then comes right back out? The dentist usually waits until all 5 kids are done before he sends out the kids and talks to me. Whenever he is allowed to get out of control it takes me days to get him right again.
Oooohh, totally understanding how you feel! Yes, definitely talk to the dentist and don't have him go back until it's his turn. Obviously it's too much for him. The dentist should understand, if not, find a new dentist!

Two weeks ago Andrew had to be sedated to get his teeth work done. He was suppose to put on the jammies at the surgery center... when they checked on us a few minutes after they left, I was pretty much sitting on him trying to get his clothes off! We never did get them off. Then they tried to give him the relaxant, he tried to squirt it all over the room. We finally got it down him and then he was quite hilarious. All of the nurses and anathesiologist (sp?) were quite exhausted by this time!!! I'm hoping he doesn't have to have any more teeth work done anytime soon.

Good luck! It has to get better...... right?!
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Old 10-02-2006, 03:53 PM   #358
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Debbi,
It's definitely time to find a new dentist. It makes no sense to me that parents are not allowed in with the children (ANY children)! Are they torturing or threatening them? Just kidding...

I loved that website. My son and I are getting shirts. He wants the one that says, "Stop trying to fix us, we're not broken." I want the "Welcome to Holland" one.

Thanks for sharing this link.
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Old 10-02-2006, 08:36 PM   #359
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I love this dentist. My kids have been going there for over 8 years with no problems. I think I just need to explain Seth to them a little more and lay down the rules. He has been going for the 3 years we he has lived with us. Since they are not laying down the rules while he is there it gets worse everytime he goes. He takes it a step further to see what he can ge away with.

I'm still deciding what I want to orer from that site. I saw a magnet on a car and that is what I was looking for but I thouht a tee for Seth would be great. The bummer is with printed shirts he picks at the picture till it is worn off.
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Old 10-03-2006, 01:38 AM   #360
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I found this and just had to post it. It's written by Donna Cooper and it is soooo true!!

It's Spelled Wrong!
By Donna Cooper

A mistake has been made.
The word doctors and neurologists
use to diagnose our children is autism,
but it should be AWEtism.
Just think...


Awe at my son's progress.
Awe at each accomplishment.
Awe that we've been blessed to be
part of a miracle
Awe to see God's hand at work in my
son's life.
Awe to meet such wonderful people.
Awe for each little step in the right
direction.
Awe for the love I never knew I had.


It's not Autism, it's AWEtism!


Here's a link to her website - http://www.cafepress.com/awetism
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