Support For Parents With Autistic Children

dessertlady · 07-13-2006, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beccasuehi

Hi Barb,

I'm kind of confused as to how the school can label a child with ASD when it is a medical diagnosis. As a special education teacher for the last 15 years, I can guarantee you that if your son were in my school he would not be labeled as having ASD without the medical diagnosis. It really bothers me that some people can be so unprofessional and not follow procedures that are specifically laid out in the law and not get into trouble for it. The common theme that I've read in these posts about becoming your child's advocate is true. You need to educate yourself on the law and then armed with this information along with the test results from every specialist you've seen meet with the school and discuss your child's needs. The school cannot say they don't have a program to meet your child's needs due to funding, etc. This is against the law. If the school fails to meet your child's needs, go through the due process procedure with all of your data in hand. The biggest reason schools lose due process hearings is because they do not have the data necessary to prove their position. Here in Hawaii, we have several private schools where children with ASD receive services at the Department of Education's expense because of the lack of appropriate services at the child's home school.

I wish you good luck with all the evaluations.

Becky

Becky,
We just moved to HI in Jan. Which island are you on? We live on in honolulu and have had a great experience with the schools. I have a ? about ESY. Jacob did ESY this summer (we are on the mainland for vacation right now), but went all day. Does ESY vary by district? Jacob was not too thrilled about going full day, especially with regular school year starting two weeks after ESY!

beccasuehi · 07-13-2006, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dessertlady

Becky,
We just moved to HI in Jan. Which island are you on? We live on in honolulu and have had a great experience with the schools. I have a ? about ESY. Jacob did ESY this summer (we are on the mainland for vacation right now), but went all day. Does ESY vary by district? Jacob was not too thrilled about going full day, especially with regular school year starting two weeks after ESY!

Kristen,

I'm on Oahu and teach at Ma'ili Elementary School on the Leeward Coast. In regards to ESY, I guess each district handles it differently because ours is only half day. I think the kids would balk at being told, "OK, now that you're on vacation, you're going to go to school for the entire day for four more weeks."

I'm glad to hear you've had a good experience as there are some districts where the experience is anything but. I worked for a while as an autism consultant and had one family that ended up putting their child at Loveland Academy because his home school was not able to provide for his needs appropriately. It was interesting. Luckily, I was not called in to the due process hearing as that would have put me between a rock and a hard place between my job as an autism consultant and my job as a special education teacher.

Becky

diana11460 · 07-16-2006, 04:19 PM

Hi everyone! I am thrilled to have found this thread and have spent my morning coffee reading all the posts. I can identify with so much of what so many of you have or are experiencing. My son Taylor is 12 and was dx Autistic at 2 1/2.
He was premature (born 8 weeks early), so Dr's would always say, he's just slower - I knew it was more than that. At my urging we had Taylor evaluated and low and behold - Autism - not just slow! At 2 there was no language, lots of 'odd' behaviors - spinning, fascination, or should I say obsession with lights & reflections, etc. He's been getting services since 2 1/2 starting with EI and has always been in a self contained classroom once school age. His language has come leaps and bounds thanks to intensive speech therapy, but behaviors are still a huge issue at times.
Like some of you we have meltdowns - mostly when he is touched without warning. He used to be a runner - thank goodness he doesn't do that anymore. He has a very limited diet (food has always been a battle). And his biggest obsession is water - he loves it!! Find a puddle, he's in it. I think it goes back to his early obsession with lights and reflections. He has a lot of sensory issues - loves to play in rice, dirt, water - anything he can run his fingers through. But his sensory issues also mean it's hard for him to be touched - lots of therapy on that one. He's better now, but needs to know it's coming. He hates hair cuts and nail trims. We cut his hair and dad is trying to teach him to trim his own nails. As a lot of your children, sleep is a huge issue here as well. He's up late and rises early - and usually wakes in the middle of night. Nothing like a party at 4 in the morning!!
We are military and were lucky to spend 7 years in one place where Taylor got excellent services, but 2 years ago we were sent here to Okinawa, Japan. We had no idea what the change would do to him (he always seemed to adapt to changes fairly well) We expected some problems, but the first 4 months in school were horrible - he did not adjust well at all. Luckily, the school was very accomodating and took everything he dished out in stride. I spent a lot of time at school and now he's doing great! It was a huge regression for him and I dread our next move. But we plan to retire from here, so our next move will be our last - have already bought a home in Maine where we plan to retire.
He's a very loving and adorable child! Aren't they all? I don't know what I would do without him - even with all the ups and downs - he is so special, loving and honest. I think we are all blessed to have such special children in our lives.
Thanks for listening. Need to pull Taylor in from the bucket of water in the back yard now and feed him breakfast.

okiechic · 07-16-2006, 07:36 PM

Welcome, Diana. Is Taylor enrolled in EFMP (Exceptional Family Member Program)? I was hoping Caleb's cat 4 status would keep us from getting sent to Oki. Maybe not. It's not likely anyway. DH is a tanker. No tank battalion there anymore.

diana11460 · 07-16-2006, 08:01 PM

Hi Laura - Thanks! Yes, Taylor is enrolled in EFMP. Okinawa has services for Autistic children - one of only a few overseas locations. Our school system is DODDs. I'm quite happy here now, but at first I wasn't so sure they could handle Taylor. You said DH is a tanker - Army??? We are Air Force. If it is Army, they do have a small base here, but I really don't know what they do there. My demo's DH is Army here, though.

I must say, this is a nice place to be stationed once you get used to the language barriers and living on an island. The weather is ideal, especially if you love the ocean. My DH and I dive and Taylor loves to snorkel. He will miss the ocean when we leave. So, if you ever do get orders here... it's really not so bad - just far from home!!

okiechic · 07-16-2006, 08:21 PM

Marines.

I think Okinawa would be cool, but I doubt we'll ever go.

diana11460 · 07-16-2006, 08:35 PM

Lots of Marine bases here. Well, if you do ever get sent here, at least you know they will have services for your son.

okiechic · 07-16-2006, 09:27 PM

Yeah, that is good to know.

okiechic · 07-16-2006, 09:31 PM

Okay, ladies. Want to know what my Caleb did on Friday? He surfed! Keep in mind he just turned five today. Anyway, Surfer's Healing puts on awesome surf camps for autistic kids. We had a blast. Caleb is quite the little surfer. If you have an opprtunity take your kids next summer. You won't regret it. Here's a picture. Thanks for letting me brag.

dessertlady · 07-17-2006, 05:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by okiechic

Okay, ladies. Want to know what my Caleb did on Friday? He surfed! Keep in mind he just turned five today. Anyway, Surfer's Healing puts on awesome surf camps for autistic kids. We had a blast. Caleb is quite the little surfer. If you have an opprtunity take your kids next summer. You won't regret it. Here's a picture. Thanks for letting me brag.

Too cool. DH and I saw the segment that ESPN did on this the guy who started it. You are so lucky. I wish they would come to HI. The one good thing it did was inspire DH to get a board (co-worker leaving for the mainland gave it to him), now he just has to find time to learn how to do it I think it would be good for both of them!

okiechic · 07-17-2006, 07:20 AM

They've expanded a lot. So we can cross our fingers for HI.

emmiestamps · 07-17-2006, 11:53 AM

Hi and welcome Diana!
Wow Caleb looks like he had a great time surfing!

themrs · 07-18-2006, 05:34 AM

Hi everyone. I've been reading and following along, but haven't had much to add about all the school talk. I really am not quite sure what all that is about since last year was the first time having any of the kids in school and it was just kindergarten.

I thought I would pose another question for you. How do you handle being around other "normal" kids and their parents with out feeling like they are all staring at you thinking Super Nanny should come to your house next?? I think one of my biggest problems is feeling like everyone who sees my kids running wild thinks I'm the worlds worst mother. And sometimes I feel like that myself and wonder why I can't get my kids to just sit and behave.

Our next door neighbor was so sweet yesterday, she invited us over for dinner. Her two little girls (same ages as two of mine) sat and ate dinner. My baby was an angel...but the other 3 would not even stay at the table. They did not eat one bite of dinner. I knew they probably wouldn't. It was lasagna and they just wont eat that. There was a playroom full on *new* toys right next to the dining room and I could not even get them to stay sitting, they were just so focused on the toys. I just wanted to crawl under the table!! I'm sure they were thinking "gees lady, can't you control these brats!"
How do you handle stuff like that? These kids look normal on the outside and people just don't have a clue about the struggles we go thru everyday! I stopped at the pharmacy yesterday to get some sort of sleep aid for them. I wanted to try benadryl or the melatonin to see if it would help. I had 4 kids with me. I could not find anything on the shelf so I asked the pharmacist if they had anythign like that and she said. "What makes kids drowsy is fresh air and excercise" she was so condesending to me. I told her they get plenty of that and they have some sleeping issures and the last 2 nights I couldn't get a couple of them to sleep until 3 and 4am and I can't function on that little sleep. I told her I wasn't looking to drug them everynight I just needed to help them and me get at least one goood night sleep the week. She then told me it sounded more like I needed to check into the family recource center and see if i could get some advice on parenting skills!!!!! I wanted to jump across the counter and let loose on her, but didn't want to freak my kids out so i decided it was best to just turn and leave. She said there was nothing I could give my kids to help make them sleepy. Liar!! She just has no clue and she must think I'm some total looser mother that lets my kids veg in front of the TV everyday and then wants to drug them to sleep so I don't have to worry about putting them to bed or anything! I just get so frustrated!

emmiestamps · 07-18-2006, 06:01 AM

I can sympathize with your fustration, I too have been made to feel like a terrible mother, when my girls have been out of sorts, you are right on the surface everything looks normal. I have been told my DD is spoiled and should be spanked by total strangers, meanwhile she is trying to pull it together in a mall with all the lights, people, smells and sounds. When ohne woman commented I explained she had autism and the expirence was overwhelming for her and she said, doesn't that embarass her for you to say that, most people have no idea what autism means, they've heard the word by have no idea what it actually is, or they automatically assume she is like rain man and a savant.
We have a book we put together every year to explain to the peers in her class what autism and every year we give them more information and a better understanding. So far this has been a success we read it in the first week of school, while DD is away with her aide and then hold a Q&A session for the kids so they can ask anything that is on their mind. I wish I could do the same for adults.
More often then not the classroom teacher doesn't really even understand what autism is and by the end of the year we have gained another advocate. Knowledge is powerful use it to your advantage, tell the pharmacy why you need the melatonin, she would probably handle the situation with much more grace and understanding.

crazzeescrapper · 07-18-2006, 07:13 AM

themrs - Wow, how rude of the lady in the pharmacy. I would probably write a letter to the manager of the store or head of the pharmacy chain explaining what happened and how you were treated. It is very frustrating at times, like you said, they look normal but people have no clue. I seem to run into people trying to have a conversation with David and sometimes he doesn't understand and he doesn't respond or they can't understand what he is saying. They always look at me like "what's wrong with your kid". So I also tell them he has autism and sometimes doesn't understand what you are asking. They usually just say "oh" and shut up because they don't have a clue what that is. It still surprises me the amount of people that has never heard of it or they will say "like Rain Man". No, not all autism is like rain man, you idiots! I guess it's just frustrating as parents that the public is not more informed.
I can totally relate to the lasanga thing, mine is also very picky and won't eat anything that is different from what he normally eats. If we go somewhere and I know he won't eat, I usally take something along for him to eat. I would tell the hostess first, but I haven't had anyone get upset for bringing seperate food for him.
Just remember, your not a bad parent - the public is the uneducated.
Take care - Tracy

diana11460 · 07-18-2006, 01:49 PM

themrs - I can totally feel for you! I think we have all experienced similar situations. I have even had to walk out of the grocery store leaving a full cart in the isle when my ds had a meltdown. I just casually mentioned the full cart to a clerk on my way out so things wouldn't melt in the isle. It can be so frustrating just being out in public sometimes. I too feel you need to help educate those around you. Just ignore stares and off handed comments, it's just easier. Although, I must say - sometimes a good comeback feels good to rude behavior. A friend uses the "oh, are you an Autism expert?" when total strangers try to tell her how to disipline her child. But when you need help (like at the pharmacy) or when around friends and neighbors, do tell them your story - educate them a little. You will find that people really can be understanding and helpful when they know the situation. The woman at the pharmacy was totally rude - she should have asked more questions to understand what you needed. She was so unprofessional - maybe you should complain about her.
So, keep your chin up - you are not a bad parent - those around you just don't get it. Don't worry about what other people think - they don't know your situation.

okiechic · 07-18-2006, 08:58 PM

Themrs,
Parenting an autistic child is hard. People sometimes just don't get it. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I have a "Don't stare at me card" It refers people to a website to learn more about ASD. It was in a book I bought. I've only used it once, but gave some to a friend and she uses them a lot. Her little guy has a lot of tantrums. My guys do fairly well except sometimes at church. Last Sunday a woman was so busy staring I thought about saying something to her. They do fairly well, but sitting still and being quiet are just not their strengths.

I hope you are able to get some rest for you and your kids. I'm so sorry that woman was so rude.

Orlandomom2 · 07-20-2006, 05:55 AM

My son, Brandon, was finally diagnosed yesterday as having aspergers. He is 6. I'm still digesting everything but am glad to've found you all so I don't feel so alone. I'm surrounded by great friends - but this is something that they just can't understand. My faith is strong, my family is supportive; although they ask way too many questions and have way too much advice to give (lol) anyway, all this just to say I'm here

okiechic · 07-20-2006, 08:47 AM

Welcome Orlandomom2,
It's so hard when your child is first diagnosed. If you have any questions or concerns we can help you with, please ask. Take care.

littlebits · 07-21-2006, 09:12 PM

Hi- I can't believe I have missed this thread so far. Of course, things have been crazy around here lately. But I have to join in. I am sitting here crying reading this thread and I am just up to the second page. I can't tell you how relieved I am to be reading these things about ya'll and your families.

I am Tonya ,32, a never at home mother of three, and DS1 (8yrs) has AS. We just got an official diognosis this year. It has been such a LONG struggle. I have been really busy with the baby for the last few months and don't have a lot of time on SCS anymore. But I am going to read all the posts so far and then I'll check back in and give you more of our story.

Thank you Thank you Thank you to those of you who are willing to share your stories with the rest of us.

okiechic · 07-22-2006, 06:28 AM

Welcome, Tanya.

dessertlady · 07-22-2006, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beccasuehi

Kristen,

I'm on Oahu and teach at Ma'ili Elementary School on the Leeward Coast. In regards to ESY, I guess each district handles it differently because ours is only half day. I think the kids would balk at being told, "OK, now that you're on vacation, you're going to go to school for the entire day for four more weeks."

I'm glad to hear you've had a good experience as there are some districts where the experience is anything but. I worked for a while as an autism consultant and had one family that ended up putting their child at Loveland Academy because his home school was not able to provide for his needs appropriately. It was interesting. Luckily, I was not called in to the due process hearing as that would have put me between a rock and a hard place between my job as an autism consultant and my job as a special education teacher.

Becky

Becky,
Yes, I know we're lucky. DHhad a co-worker who has a DS with Bi-polar and lived up in Mililani and had a horrible time with the school. We sort of cherry picked the school (and I think DH let it drop that we had in the past hired an ed. atty.) anyway, we're pretty happy for now. Junior High has us worried just because we're heard really bad things about the school racial-wise. Apparently there is a lot of conflict between the different racial groups and the admin has been ignoring it, kind of wishing it away. We're starting to check out charter schools as an alternative and there are two in our area that have some potential. We would consider private, but aren't sure if how they would handle services or would even consider him.
Any input would be appreciated!

I know there's been discussion on melt downs, etc, what about vacation? In some ways it is good, but it seems like he gets a little worse when we are visiting family, I think due to the lack of routine and a grandparent who really doesn't get him. He has good and bad days, but seems like more bad than good. I know that Monday will be good because we will be flying that day and he knows that routine (and he loves flying). Anybody else go through this?

diana11460 · 07-22-2006, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dessertlady

I know there's been discussion on melt downs, etc, what about vacation? In some ways it is good, but it seems like he gets a little worse when we are visiting family, I think due to the lack of routine and a grandparent who really doesn't get him. He has good and bad days, but seems like more bad than good. I know that Monday will be good because we will be flying that day and he knows that routine (and he loves flying). Anybody else go through this?

Our ds loves to fly and travels well. But we also have trouble when we go 'home' to see the grandparents. I think he can sense that they don't understand and are maybe a little nervous when he exhibits any behavior (which makes it worse). But I also think he gets over stimulated there. I find that if we spend a lot of time outside, he does better - so we always plan our trips home in the summer so he can have a lot of outside time.
I think what makes it hard on the grandparents is that since we live so far away and only come home on occasion, they never really get the opportunity to get to know him - and he doesn't get to really know them either. It's tough!

themrs · 07-22-2006, 04:26 PM

being off your routine is hard enough... but then add grandparents on top of that..... oh what fun!

I know what you mean about the routine. We are not the best about having a strict schedule (we are trying to get better), but with my DH gone for 3 1/2 weeks things are crazy around here. I can't really get 3 wiggly kids ready for bed and sit and nurse a baby at the same time, so for the last few weeks they have just been up until I go to bed and they are much more cranky and so am I, but what can you do? My in laws are coming for a couple of weeks in August and It is usually stressful for me when they are here because I have to endure little bits of advice about how if I only did things a certain way they would listen blah, blah, blah... they just don't realise that I have done all the things you are supposed to do, but they don't always work. This year might be a bit different because we have been learning about all this autism stuff in the last 6 months and maybe they will see some of the behavior a little differently. I just don't want anymore fun times like Grandpa determined that he could potty train my 2 year old if he was tough enough on him!

I guess I don't have any good advice about dealing with the challenges of travel and visits except to just expect them to be more difficult and just mentally prepare to work a little harder. Good luck and enjoy your trip!

As for us....we leave first thing Monday morning to pick up DH from the airport!!! Yippeeee!!!!

Orlandomom2 · 07-22-2006, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fiona

Then he sat down with the school and .......... flapped!! It must have been just about all he could take by that time!

oh how I love this group....I feel safe here

themrs · 07-23-2006, 06:27 AM

Barb,
did you ever find out the results of the tests that Aaron has had so far? I was just wondering how it was going.

fiona · 07-23-2006, 04:06 PM

Hi girls

How are you all doing? we've been mega busy heer, but now I'm on vacation - for 6 weeks yipee! J is off too and tomorrow is coming into school with me to help me sort my classroom!

Nice to see so many other mums out there now - will catch up later as its 1am and I feel I need some sleep! J is sparko as we've been having really hot weather for the UK! Catch you all later and know you are the best parents for your children - we do such a fab job looking after them!

emmiestamps · 07-24-2006, 02:46 PM

Well we just moved and seem to be settling in well, Megan has been so great with the move, she loves here new room and the new view from our livingroom window. Boy is it hot here, hasn't been like this in a long time.

Hi and welcome orlandomom2 and Tonya!

dessertlady · 07-25-2006, 06:39 PM

Emmie -
Glad the move is going well.

Well we survived vacation and school starts on Friday which is just brimming with anxiety issues! The good thing is that one of his best buddies from last year is in his mainstream room again this year

Vacation was up and down and thanks to all who offered suggestions or sympothized. Going outside was pretty much out most of the time as the heat index was over 100 most days. Honestly, you couldn't walk 10 yards without pouring sweat and Jacob sweats easily, so no fun for him. The one high point was going horse back riding at a friend's farm. He really responds well to it and I'm going to check into getting him into theraputic riding lessons.

Now, to totally change topics, one of the teachers from summer session uses pet therapy with her students (she normally teaches low to mid functioning aut high school students). For summer she teachers K-2 and brought in her animals almost daily. She would always have them out at recess and Jacob responded really well to her Cockatial (sp) - went from running wild to very still and calm. We have two cats that he normally does okay with, just seems that either the more exotic or big the animal the better he does. I was just wondering if anybody else has done anything with pet therapy/theraputic riding.

beccasuehi · 07-27-2006, 02:21 AM

Kristin,

It's a possibility that the charter schools might not accept your son due to his needs, but that possibility is slight depending on whether or not the school is a conversion charter school or a new charter school. When I worked as an autism consultant a couple of years ago I worked with a family on Schofield Barracks and they chose to send their son to Loveland Academy because his home school could not provide for his needs. Because of the Felix Consent Decree a lot of schools have been forced to meet the needs of these children and haven't been well prepared to do so. Things have improved, but there is still a long way to go.

Becky

okiechic · 07-27-2006, 06:27 AM

Kristen,
Glad Jacob is such an animal lover. My kids like animals especially dogs, but we have never tried the pet therapy. I've met a couple of people with therapy dogs though. They've helped their kids immensely. The riding sounds interesting too. I think sometimes sports are a nice bridge. I took Luke to Little Gym for Mommy and me gymnastics. Luke followed directions better than the NT kids, and he was happy to copy the teachers. In fact other kids were copying him. I can't wait to go back.

themrs · 07-27-2006, 11:17 AM

pet therapy ????.... Do you have any of your own pets at home, or are these therapy pets somehow different? Just curious. We have a dog and two cats and our kids love them, but I wouldn't say they provide any sort of therapy for them!
We are thinking next spring when DH is out of school and we are not so busy with studying ect... we would like to put the kids in some sort of marshal arts classes. I've heard that can help them with concentration and dicipline ect... has anyone tried that?
Andi

okiechic · 07-27-2006, 01:06 PM

There are some agencies who specifically train dogs to help autistic people. Much like seeing eye dogs help the blind. Our dog is not a therapy dog.

Orlandomom2 · 07-28-2006, 02:55 PM

We had Brandon in tae kwon do before we got the 'aspergers' label. I am begging my husband to do it again! (it can get expensive, depending on where you go) I would do one thing differently though; now that I understand better how he 'thinks' - and that is I would tell his instructor that eye contact is overwhelming to him, as are loud noises. those are 2 things that the instructor would do; stand in front of each child had have him yell 'yes sir!' as loud as they could (including my son!) and he also demanded eye contact...which was interesting to say the least. When I say demanded...it was in a respectful way; not demeaning at all - but they did require certain things!

martial arts demands respect and focus - I will definately do it again as soon as we get our budget in order. Brandon learned how to do jumping jacks there (a HUGE motor skill!) and another thing - martial arts doesn't 'require' the social ladder that soccer, bball, etc do; it's the child bettering himself each time. If Brandon didn't want to talk to any of his classmates; he still had a great time... AWESOME for my kiddo!

that...was my 2 cents....lol

okiechic · 07-28-2006, 09:20 PM

Christie,
Thanks for your insight on martial arts. We are going next week to try out a class for Caleb. The instructor used to be a spec ed teacher and has had other autistic kids in her classes so we're hopeful. I'll let you know how it goes.

Orlandomom2 · 07-30-2006, 05:16 AM

wow you're so lucky that the martial arts instructor used to be a special ed teacher - that'll give them some insight that most of us aren't lucky enough to have. Yes, let me know how it goes! I'm excited for you!

barbf · 07-30-2006, 03:14 PM

I'm looking forward to this Thursday (Aug. 3rd) when we get results from the neuropsychologist. When we saw the child psychiatrist 2 weeks ago, he was pretty sure the diagnosis was going to be Asperger's. His first suggestion was to get Aaron to get 10-11 hours of sleep each night. Bedtime has been a terrible struggle, and meletonin (sp?) was suggested - it worked wonders. About 30-45 minutes after taking it, he's ready for sleep. And he doesn't need us to lay down with him for as long anymore, either. But - I'm not sure that we've seen any changes in behavior.

They psychiatrist doesn't think that the autistic classroom is the right place for Aaron. So I called the school last week and talked to the head of the special ed department, who suggested that we have a meeting right before school starts with the district autism specialist along with some others from the school district to determine where the right place is for Aaron. It's too bad that I couldn't get him in to the child psychologist until mid-September, because she could also give some guidance there.

Back in May I had been told that there was a summer autism program at Aaron's school. The school staff was aware that I wanted Aaron to go - but they never called or sent any information on it. When I called the head of the special ed department last week I asked him about it - he said that the next day was the last day of the program. I really let him know how disappointed I was that no body told us when it was so Aaron was attend. He apologized over and over again. The next day I had a message from the gal that will be the main instructor in the autistic classroom, but need to try to connect with her this next week.

This weekend Aaron's behavior has been awful. I don't know why he goes in streaks like this. He's been so obnoxious, deliberately bugs people and won't stop when asked. He thinks he's a little adult and that rules don't apply to him, and that he's in charge of our household. NOT!!!! Lots of power struggles. He's in baseball and needs some practice batting. So my husband took him to a batting cage today, but Aaron refused any help or instruction. Repeatedly threw the batting helmet on the ground. Totally threw a fit. They had to leave before their time was up. It was very ugly, and my husband was very upset, so then I took Aaron and his twin sister to the beach (it's like 98 degrees herre) because my husband needed a break from Aaron.

Friday night Aaron was pushing buttons like crazy, and it escalated until I had to restrain him, which is getting more difficult because he's getting bigger. He ended up kicking me on my hip and I have a huge bruise there now. I'm just really afraid that we're going to have to end up putting him on medication, because getting more sleep has not really changed Aaron's behavior. I'm about at my wits end and have made an appointment for me to start some counseling. I can't think or talk about Aaron's situation without tearing up. We try so hard to have him be involved in "normal" activities, like baseball, but then I feel like we have to explain to everyone why he acts how he does. Why he lays down in the outfield during practice before a game. Why he sometimes isn't paying attention during a game. He went to a birthday party yesterday, and I'm sure the other kids (and parents) were wondering why he was obsessed with looking for extra quarters on the floor by the video games (at the bowling alley) instead of watching presents being opened and eating cake. I don't think I'm embarrassed, just am tired of the funny looks and people staring when he's doing something odd.

But then last night, totally out of the blue, he gave me a hug and a KISS!!! I can't remember the last time he kissed me on the cheek. So then I start crying and had to explain to him why I was crying - I said I was so happy that he had given me a kiss. It was very special.

Sorry this got so long. We've just had an awful weekend, and need some answers soon.

Barb

okiechic · 07-30-2006, 05:02 PM

Barb(((((HUGS)))))
Hope you get some help and answers soon.

emmiestamps · 07-30-2006, 08:26 PM

Barb my heart goes out to you, sounds like you could use a (((hug))) or an arm squeeze as Megan prefers them to hugs.

Orlandomom2 · 07-31-2006, 04:23 AM

Thank you for sharing your story Barb; I can relate to parts of it as I'm sure everyone on this thread can. The birthday party struck a cord w/me because we just had a similar situation. My Brandon is 6...definately 'old' enough to sit and watch presents being opened - but there he was, overly- fascinated by the sun catchers on the sliding glass door that were moving back and forth each time the door got opened! Allllll the other children were gathered around the birthday boy, oooohing and aaahhhing over his gifts...and my son was flapping and jumping w/his back totally to them, watching those suncatchers move back and forth. Yes, I was getting looks and yes it bothered me. I wasn't really embarrassed - or maybe I was....I don't really know how to sort out the barrell of emotions that run thru me in situations like that. I guess I just really wanted to educate them - but it wasn't the time or place.

I will pray that you get answers soon. Our God is good.

love, Christie